hey yal
well lets just start out with, some things that i did this weekend..went to the games all weekend at the high school, and worked for the tourney. derek helped, and i never got a chance i dont think to tell him my mom said thanx for helpin...cus he came up there on his own time and will to help. and be with me i guess..or i dunno. he's havin a bit of trouble figuring out whut he wants here lately. i dont know exactly what he could be getting out of it, considering that i talked to someone on the phone, not mentioning any names, and they told me some stuff that opened my eyes.and listen, i'm real tore up about all this, because i know what he's getting himself into..i know what your getting into, if you're readin this. i didn't mean to find this stuff out, i just did...and i found out a lil too much. and i'll tell you all about that later, i'm just not gonna say who told me, or mention any names, because this person is my best friend. and i wouldn't do that to her, but she found out this stuff, not for me, but she did tell me. and i appreciate it so much. it could help derek figure things out. but thats all i will say. other than all this my weekend was ok. not the best but ok. i mean it coulda been better,its just so hard to care about somebody when there's someone else on the line. it really is hard. and i'll be true, i'll never lie, how could i lie?..i couldn't do that, because then everything you did would be a lie. i dont want it to be like that. how could you hurt someone's feelings, over someone who hurt yours?..i dont get it, i really dont. but i care enough to see what he really wants, and when he finds out, i hope he does the right thing. whether it involves me or not. its so hard to get over your first love, believe me i know...but these are the things you have to cope with, there's nothing you can do about it..you'll know when you find out how close she's gotten to this guy. you will. there's just so many things that could happen.
i just hope that deep down you really find out whats going on.
and as for me, i found what i want. i just dont know if i'll get it. now i can only pray, but prayin prolly wont get me anywhere, cus i haven't made myself right with GOD, i mean i believe in him, i just haven't done everything right in my life. but this could be one thing, and hopefully he'll understand. i could never tell the truth any better than this. there's no other way i can make him see. although i wished i could. and if things break down, hopefully i'll live. but i'm gonna go cus i know yal dont wanna hear this, but i cant help it, this is all thats been on my mind.
much love
bobbie jo*
i just hope that deep down you really find out whats going on.
and as for me, i found what i want. i just dont know if i'll get it. now i can only pray, but prayin prolly wont get me anywhere, cus i haven't made myself right with GOD, i mean i believe in him, i just haven't done everything right in my life. but this could be one thing, and hopefully he'll understand. i could never tell the truth any better than this. there's no other way i can make him see. although i wished i could. and if things break down, hopefully i'll live. but i'm gonna go cus i know yal dont wanna hear this, but i cant help it, this is all thats been on my mind.
much love
bobbie jo*