(no subject)
I really don't know who I am, and I haven't in a long time, if I ever did. I don't know why I'm writing this here. Truthfully, the only time I don't feel this way is when I'm with Liz. When I look in her eyes, I feel home. I feel safe laying on her chest. She's everything to me.
But the rest is a mess. A melting pot. I haven't dealt with my circumstances. I ignored trauma for five years. I put myself in new shitty situations to avoid thinking about the big ones. Weird. I've been self-sabotaging for ten years, if not longer. It's not that I think I'm anything more than common. I just can't believe I was so blind to everything. It's blowing my mind to think about these things. And it's scaring the fuck out of me to realize that there must still be things that are buried.
The only thing to do is not sabotage anymore. Not have any pity parties. Just deal. Take responsibility. Do the right thing. Don't look back, unless it's therapeutic. And fuck the haters. Heh, just kidding, everybody loves me.
But the rest is a mess. A melting pot. I haven't dealt with my circumstances. I ignored trauma for five years. I put myself in new shitty situations to avoid thinking about the big ones. Weird. I've been self-sabotaging for ten years, if not longer. It's not that I think I'm anything more than common. I just can't believe I was so blind to everything. It's blowing my mind to think about these things. And it's scaring the fuck out of me to realize that there must still be things that are buried.
The only thing to do is not sabotage anymore. Not have any pity parties. Just deal. Take responsibility. Do the right thing. Don't look back, unless it's therapeutic. And fuck the haters. Heh, just kidding, everybody loves me.