Rock Bottom is alot Farther Than I Thought
Sitting at work again. There really isn't a point in going home. Mike(roomate) will just be watching the Yankee's game and I hate baseball.
Had a good time last night though. My ex (Lauren refers to her as P so I will continue the tradition) met me at home. She still has a key to my apartment so she beat me there. I was already pissed from a conversation we had had earlier. She was in my room getting dressed for work. My door was locked. Being locked out of my own room will always enrage. I pay 380 bucks a month for that room. She opens the door in tears. Her hand was black, blue and bleeding. Apparently she couldn't help but look through my stuff. She found something she didn't like and freaked out. I'm really getting sick of trying to maintain a friendship with her. I still love her and care about her but lately I just can't fucking stand her. After much yelling crying and apologizing she sliced the last thread of my sanity with a razor. She mentioned my great grandmother (who died Friday) and i lost it. I started crying and screaming at her to get the fuck out. I'm sure I said other things but I can't really remember. I took her key and she left. She called several times while I was trying to sleep. Obviously I didn't awnser. At 6:00 this morning she calls and leaves a message telling me to come outside. Half hour later I get up and get ready for work. Of course she is waiting in the parking lot. (Stalker???) We talked briefly but I was gonna be late for work. She just called me a few minutes ago and left a message saying that it wasn't a big deal and I should just let it go. All of sudden I'm overreacting to this and I am not trying hard enough to make this work.....Now I'm confused. So I will call her on my way home and we will yell and I just can't fucking take this shit anymore. Neither can anyone else. I wish Lauren would sign on so I had someone to talk to besides myself. Damn, I need a cigarette.
Had a good time last night though. My ex (Lauren refers to her as P so I will continue the tradition) met me at home. She still has a key to my apartment so she beat me there. I was already pissed from a conversation we had had earlier. She was in my room getting dressed for work. My door was locked. Being locked out of my own room will always enrage. I pay 380 bucks a month for that room. She opens the door in tears. Her hand was black, blue and bleeding. Apparently she couldn't help but look through my stuff. She found something she didn't like and freaked out. I'm really getting sick of trying to maintain a friendship with her. I still love her and care about her but lately I just can't fucking stand her. After much yelling crying and apologizing she sliced the last thread of my sanity with a razor. She mentioned my great grandmother (who died Friday) and i lost it. I started crying and screaming at her to get the fuck out. I'm sure I said other things but I can't really remember. I took her key and she left. She called several times while I was trying to sleep. Obviously I didn't awnser. At 6:00 this morning she calls and leaves a message telling me to come outside. Half hour later I get up and get ready for work. Of course she is waiting in the parking lot. (Stalker???) We talked briefly but I was gonna be late for work. She just called me a few minutes ago and left a message saying that it wasn't a big deal and I should just let it go. All of sudden I'm overreacting to this and I am not trying hard enough to make this work.....Now I'm confused. So I will call her on my way home and we will yell and I just can't fucking take this shit anymore. Neither can anyone else. I wish Lauren would sign on so I had someone to talk to besides myself. Damn, I need a cigarette.