Stuff in the brain dome
LOOK! LJ is still here! How about that, huh?
So, just a little post to document the weird things rolling around in my brain right now. I finished writing a large story about a month ago (it took me over a year to write it), and I haven't done what I usually do and dive into something new immediately afterwards. I wanted to give myself a little break, I guess. A recent perusal of my ao3 account tells me I've been writing Criminal Minds fic for 10 years, and have been producing fanworks for 17 years. That blew back my hair a little. Where has the time gone?!? Someone recently commented on an ancient V for Vendetta fic on ao3 and asked if I was planning to write a follow-up, and I was like, NO, I WROTE THAT IN 2007. *insert embarrassed face here*
The thing I've been thinking about is: shouldn't I want to stretch myself more? Am I too comfortable with what I've achieved? I am very proud of the improvement I've made in my writing over the years, just as I am proud of becoming a better designer. To me, those two paths are linked: my interior world and my professional world. One bootstraps the other. I work with someone who used to work in the book publishing world, and when she found out in passing that I write (she doesn't know what I write), she said she had book editor and agent contacts she could send my way if I was interested. I brushed it off because I've never considered being a published ANYTHING outside of an occasional daydream (also, I haven't written anything that is wholly mine). But that seed she planted won't leave me alone. Is this a goal I should be stretching for? Am I just dithering by continuing to write works based on characters I can never claim for myself (even though the amount of work that goes into fan fiction should never be discounted by anyone)? I dunno. I guess I'm afraid to try and fail. That would really ruin what writing is for me. And maybe I'm not original enough. Maybe I'm too focused on certain kinds of stories that have no commercial or wide appeal. I've always just written things that I wanted to read. Oh, and there's the fact that I've never tried to write for the publishing world, and don't have a clue how that works, so...
Basically, I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do next.
In that mindset, two random ideas have come to me. I'm writing them down here simply so I won't forget them.
The first is a concept for a short comic. There is a sacred river in some distant land, far from the meddling of men and technology. A tiger is the guardian of the river's power, killing those who seek to use it for their own ends. One evening, a man stumbles from the jungle to collapse at the river's edge and drink greedily. He then wanders into the river like it is a balm. The tiger swims across the river, preparing to kill the stranger, but halfway across he changes his mind. As he approached the stranger, he rises from the dark water as a striped man, not a tiger, and he seduces the stranger instead. The stranger flees after the encounter, confused and more than a little scared of the magic he's brushed up against, and the tiger retires to his river perch, unsure of what he's done. But the stranger is eventually drawn back to the river, and the tiger must make a decision about him, because if the stranger keeps returning, other men will follow and the river's magic will be taken. [Okay, I don't have an ending for it yet - so sue me...]
The second idea in my head is for a story. [Full disclosure: my husband and I started watching Moon Knight recently] It's about a pair of FBI investigators (naturally) who have a contentious relationship. The female partner is ambitious and recognizes that her new partner is difficult to deal with, but also a remarkable detective, which is good for her career so she withstands him. But he shifts between being a contientious, brilliant agent to a physically unpredictable brute, and this instability falls on her to deal with. He also seems to have an uncanny ability to empathetize with psychopaths. It's all very questionable and disturbing, but you can't argue with the results. She adjusts her style over time to better fit with his wild swings, and eventually becomes very attached to him. But a series of gruesome killings come across their desks, and it throws the male agent into a tailspin. Trying to save her partner from self-destructing, the female agent uncovers an impossible truth: her partner suffers from a dissociative disorder. He has both a sociopathic and empathic personality inside his mind, and he went into law enforcement to keep a check on his psycho side. The murders hit close to home for him, but he doesn't know if he is responsible, and turns to the only person he trusts - his partner - to help him discover the truth. [Yeah, I don't have an ending for this one yet either]
I think I just need to do these things rather than talk about them. Yeah, that would be a better plan...
So, just a little post to document the weird things rolling around in my brain right now. I finished writing a large story about a month ago (it took me over a year to write it), and I haven't done what I usually do and dive into something new immediately afterwards. I wanted to give myself a little break, I guess. A recent perusal of my ao3 account tells me I've been writing Criminal Minds fic for 10 years, and have been producing fanworks for 17 years. That blew back my hair a little. Where has the time gone?!? Someone recently commented on an ancient V for Vendetta fic on ao3 and asked if I was planning to write a follow-up, and I was like, NO, I WROTE THAT IN 2007. *insert embarrassed face here*
The thing I've been thinking about is: shouldn't I want to stretch myself more? Am I too comfortable with what I've achieved? I am very proud of the improvement I've made in my writing over the years, just as I am proud of becoming a better designer. To me, those two paths are linked: my interior world and my professional world. One bootstraps the other. I work with someone who used to work in the book publishing world, and when she found out in passing that I write (she doesn't know what I write), she said she had book editor and agent contacts she could send my way if I was interested. I brushed it off because I've never considered being a published ANYTHING outside of an occasional daydream (also, I haven't written anything that is wholly mine). But that seed she planted won't leave me alone. Is this a goal I should be stretching for? Am I just dithering by continuing to write works based on characters I can never claim for myself (even though the amount of work that goes into fan fiction should never be discounted by anyone)? I dunno. I guess I'm afraid to try and fail. That would really ruin what writing is for me. And maybe I'm not original enough. Maybe I'm too focused on certain kinds of stories that have no commercial or wide appeal. I've always just written things that I wanted to read. Oh, and there's the fact that I've never tried to write for the publishing world, and don't have a clue how that works, so...
Basically, I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do next.
In that mindset, two random ideas have come to me. I'm writing them down here simply so I won't forget them.
The first is a concept for a short comic. There is a sacred river in some distant land, far from the meddling of men and technology. A tiger is the guardian of the river's power, killing those who seek to use it for their own ends. One evening, a man stumbles from the jungle to collapse at the river's edge and drink greedily. He then wanders into the river like it is a balm. The tiger swims across the river, preparing to kill the stranger, but halfway across he changes his mind. As he approached the stranger, he rises from the dark water as a striped man, not a tiger, and he seduces the stranger instead. The stranger flees after the encounter, confused and more than a little scared of the magic he's brushed up against, and the tiger retires to his river perch, unsure of what he's done. But the stranger is eventually drawn back to the river, and the tiger must make a decision about him, because if the stranger keeps returning, other men will follow and the river's magic will be taken. [Okay, I don't have an ending for it yet - so sue me...]
The second idea in my head is for a story. [Full disclosure: my husband and I started watching Moon Knight recently] It's about a pair of FBI investigators (naturally) who have a contentious relationship. The female partner is ambitious and recognizes that her new partner is difficult to deal with, but also a remarkable detective, which is good for her career so she withstands him. But he shifts between being a contientious, brilliant agent to a physically unpredictable brute, and this instability falls on her to deal with. He also seems to have an uncanny ability to empathetize with psychopaths. It's all very questionable and disturbing, but you can't argue with the results. She adjusts her style over time to better fit with his wild swings, and eventually becomes very attached to him. But a series of gruesome killings come across their desks, and it throws the male agent into a tailspin. Trying to save her partner from self-destructing, the female agent uncovers an impossible truth: her partner suffers from a dissociative disorder. He has both a sociopathic and empathic personality inside his mind, and he went into law enforcement to keep a check on his psycho side. The murders hit close to home for him, but he doesn't know if he is responsible, and turns to the only person he trusts - his partner - to help him discover the truth. [Yeah, I don't have an ending for this one yet either]
I think I just need to do these things rather than talk about them. Yeah, that would be a better plan...