Stuck
Week 14 is up at 52 Weeks. I'm pretty sure I'm not cut out for NaNoWriMo. I only have around 3000 words and we're more than a quarter into November.
I'm feeling kind of depressed today. Part of it probably has to do with getting into a foul mood after trying to work out when and where to do my theory test for my license. I wasn't very nice to Kate in the process and ended up feeling like a shit for it. She was wonderful and patient and we talked it out in the end, but I hate when I get like that. I also hate that I have to go through getting my driver's license again when I loathed the process so much the first time. Yeah, not the best of moods today.
I think I might be feeling a little too much in limbo right now. It's a feeling I've always disliked. Me, who tends to maintain an up-to-date five year plan in my head. I want to know what's coming next and when. I thought Canada was coming next and I thought that July or August was the when, but now the housing market is making it difficult to be sure of that plan. I'm getting suggestions of ways to advance in my work place, but I don't know if I'll be here for one more year or two. On top of that, the end of owing people money* seems to recede further and further into the future. Should I get a job I hate so I can pay everyone back? Thing is, I feel committed to staying at the school until July now. I'm looking at finding tutoring gigs, but who knows.
I feel so far from where I planned to be. I'm not in any way connected to any theatre groups, my electrician skills are rusting away, and I haven't written anything script-like in something like two years. I know this is all my own fault and I could go out and find a group to volunteer with, but every time I think about starting that process my energy just seems to drain out of me.
Sorry, this is really turning into quite the whining post.
I have lots of things that I feel lucky and happy about, just today I'm in a mood and everything seems a little dark.
*Other than the student loan people. I expect to owe them money for another couple decades.
I'm feeling kind of depressed today. Part of it probably has to do with getting into a foul mood after trying to work out when and where to do my theory test for my license. I wasn't very nice to Kate in the process and ended up feeling like a shit for it. She was wonderful and patient and we talked it out in the end, but I hate when I get like that. I also hate that I have to go through getting my driver's license again when I loathed the process so much the first time. Yeah, not the best of moods today.
I think I might be feeling a little too much in limbo right now. It's a feeling I've always disliked. Me, who tends to maintain an up-to-date five year plan in my head. I want to know what's coming next and when. I thought Canada was coming next and I thought that July or August was the when, but now the housing market is making it difficult to be sure of that plan. I'm getting suggestions of ways to advance in my work place, but I don't know if I'll be here for one more year or two. On top of that, the end of owing people money* seems to recede further and further into the future. Should I get a job I hate so I can pay everyone back? Thing is, I feel committed to staying at the school until July now. I'm looking at finding tutoring gigs, but who knows.
I feel so far from where I planned to be. I'm not in any way connected to any theatre groups, my electrician skills are rusting away, and I haven't written anything script-like in something like two years. I know this is all my own fault and I could go out and find a group to volunteer with, but every time I think about starting that process my energy just seems to drain out of me.
Sorry, this is really turning into quite the whining post.
I have lots of things that I feel lucky and happy about, just today I'm in a mood and everything seems a little dark.
*Other than the student loan people. I expect to owe them money for another couple decades.