GRRRRR
Wow,I actually had a great birthday. I went out to eat with my mom and Jake. I got a buttload of new clothes. You can really get a lot for $200 if you catch all of the sales before and during Memorial Day. I finally can buy my cigarettes legally and not have to rely on other people to buy them for me. The downside of the whole weekend was the fact that I had to bring Jake home yesterday. I hate not being around that kid even for a second. Anyway, I digress from the whole grrriness of the title. I miss Jake so bad it's not even funny. I hate that he lives a decent distance away from me. An upside is the fact that there is a chance that he could possibly get a job in Salem during the summer, I mean he's only going to be down for a bulk of it and we might as well make some cash together. I'm all grrry for another reason as well. He's going to this anime convention in Boston this weekend and I'm most likely not going to see him until Sunday, if at all. I want him to go, I'm not the type of girlfriend who won't let their boyfriend hang out with his friends and makes him spend all of his time with me. He actually needs to go. He needs to reconnect with the people that he's known since middle school. My only gripe with the whole thing is that it has to be on the weekend, Memorial Day weekend none-the-less. The only long weekend left of his school year. I cherish any extra time that I get to spend with him. Our whole situation is very tough. I love him more than anything and we live 50 miles apart. There's only so much that the phone and internet can do for us. I mean we have a very physical relationship, it's not all just about sex though, I'm a very physical person and I like to hold, touch and cuddle with him. I know that he's the same way.
Last week was defiantly a blessing. And yes I know that I don't believe in god. I got to spend an extra week with him and it was so great, apart from the constant worry that we would be evacuated and lose our home. Karma is kicking my ass right now. It's all like," Hey we gave you an extra week together so we're going to take you weekend away so yeah take that bitch." I have this feeling too that really bothers me. Last night when I got home it seemed like I hadn't seen or heard from Jake in months. That feeling really bothers me because I know that I just saw him and will probably talk to him later but love does crazy things to your head. The feeling was like he doesn't want to be with me, he doesn't want to talk to me, he doesn't want to see me ever again which I know is a total fallacy. I don't know I was just being dumb. Hopefully I can see him on Sunday at least because I can't go for 2 weeks without seeing my gorgeous baby boy.
Last week was defiantly a blessing. And yes I know that I don't believe in god. I got to spend an extra week with him and it was so great, apart from the constant worry that we would be evacuated and lose our home. Karma is kicking my ass right now. It's all like," Hey we gave you an extra week together so we're going to take you weekend away so yeah take that bitch." I have this feeling too that really bothers me. Last night when I got home it seemed like I hadn't seen or heard from Jake in months. That feeling really bothers me because I know that I just saw him and will probably talk to him later but love does crazy things to your head. The feeling was like he doesn't want to be with me, he doesn't want to talk to me, he doesn't want to see me ever again which I know is a total fallacy. I don't know I was just being dumb. Hopefully I can see him on Sunday at least because I can't go for 2 weeks without seeing my gorgeous baby boy.