I'm Posting Again WOOT!!!!!!!
Well, well look at me posting again. I'm not in a very good mood right now, granted when am I ever? I was trying to sleep but what's on my mind is bothering me. I'm jonesing for Jake wicked bad right now. I know for a fact right now that I'm not going to see him until Sunday and maybe not even then. I've been on the verge of tears for the entire week. I miss him so much I really can't stand it at all anymore. I can't see him this weekend and you know what I'm a bit pissy about it. I want him to go but I kind of resent him a bit for going. ONLY because the weekends are all we have. I'm not to sure about what's going down this summer so I can't say anything for sure.
I feel like total shit for writing this but it really kind of hurts. Granted it's something I will get over really fast once I see him again. I want him to go and have fun with his friends but I miss him like crazy. Our entire situation is just very very hard on me right now. The fact that the bulk of the communication and transportation has been put on my shoulders is rough also. I don't mind at all don't get me wrong but it was nice getting a phone call once in a while. Instead I have to make all of the phone calls and be the transportation.
I'm not in the greatest state of mind right now. The stupidest things are bothering me and I have no idea why. It boggles my mind. I seem like a total jealous bitch. I'm just upset that someone else usurped my time with Jake. I know when they made these plans that we weren't dating and he thought of me as ONLY his best friend, I don't know anymore. I love him more than anything and I feel like I'm acting all high school about the whole situation. I think another thing that bothers me is the fact that Boston was our hangout place and I can't be in OUR city with him this weekend. You got to love being female. It's like I don't give 2 shits if he hangs out with his friends.... i really don't care at all, but when the conflicts with our weekends then I develop a problem with it. I almost wasn't going to see him at all this weekend. He had plans with Ashley, Dante and a couple other of his friends. He was originally going to go by himself, then I was invited, now we're not going. I'm happy I at least get to see him 1 day this weekend. But with my luck it will fall through.
Don't mind me I'm just being so fucking stupid and I deserve to have my guts ripped out. I just shouldn't talk anymore because I probably made Jake feel bad and made him feel even more guilty than he already does. Wow I really need to be shot in the head.
ps I am by no means seeking any form of attention.
I feel like total shit for writing this but it really kind of hurts. Granted it's something I will get over really fast once I see him again. I want him to go and have fun with his friends but I miss him like crazy. Our entire situation is just very very hard on me right now. The fact that the bulk of the communication and transportation has been put on my shoulders is rough also. I don't mind at all don't get me wrong but it was nice getting a phone call once in a while. Instead I have to make all of the phone calls and be the transportation.
I'm not in the greatest state of mind right now. The stupidest things are bothering me and I have no idea why. It boggles my mind. I seem like a total jealous bitch. I'm just upset that someone else usurped my time with Jake. I know when they made these plans that we weren't dating and he thought of me as ONLY his best friend, I don't know anymore. I love him more than anything and I feel like I'm acting all high school about the whole situation. I think another thing that bothers me is the fact that Boston was our hangout place and I can't be in OUR city with him this weekend. You got to love being female. It's like I don't give 2 shits if he hangs out with his friends.... i really don't care at all, but when the conflicts with our weekends then I develop a problem with it. I almost wasn't going to see him at all this weekend. He had plans with Ashley, Dante and a couple other of his friends. He was originally going to go by himself, then I was invited, now we're not going. I'm happy I at least get to see him 1 day this weekend. But with my luck it will fall through.
Don't mind me I'm just being so fucking stupid and I deserve to have my guts ripped out. I just shouldn't talk anymore because I probably made Jake feel bad and made him feel even more guilty than he already does. Wow I really need to be shot in the head.
ps I am by no means seeking any form of attention.