Aparently everyone is doing it. . ..
Everyone is pregnant. . .didn't you know?
I'm supposed to be excited for all of them?! I mean come the fuck on. I have literally been working my ass off for TWO YEARS to get to where I am. . .but it's so easy for everyone else. Oh, it just pisses me off!!
There are some people that I'm seriously happy for, but it's like. . .
"Oh, I had that due date."
"Oh, I would of been a mommy then."
And it's SO depressing.
Not because of their happiness, I'm genuenly happy for everyone that's pregnant. It's just so hard for me. . . I'm sure mom felt the same way when people kept going on with their lives, I don't dare think people should stop their lives for me, it just shocks me at times.
Like I know they are all with me, they are all part of me. . .it just hits me sometimes that . . .they are gone. And it comes so easily for others, effortlessly and I guess I'm a little bitter becasue I have had to go threw so much.
Anyway, now that I have that off my ever growing belly. . . .
The appointment with the Midwife went well. She didn't press for me to have the swine flu or any flu shot. which I'm all happy about. I did take the Downs, neural tube defects and crom blood test, hopefully that will come back perfectly.
I got to hear the baby!! First time ever, thank you very much.
To date I have had 6 pregnancies, about 25 ultrasounds, countless blood tests. . .and I have just NOW heard a heartbeat. It was actually kinda cool, my Midwife was like "We gonna hear the baby this time?"
"Nope."
I didn't expect to hear it at all. . .and there it was. . .that fast foompha foomhf. And I cried. Lou and I looked at one another and we were like holy shit! The heart is sitting at 140 bpm which is great!
Of course as soon as I told everyone this, they were like it's a boy!! it's a girl!!! I sound trite when I say this, but I don't care!!! As long as we are healthy!!
(But I think it's a girl.)
Yes, we have names picked out, no I'm not sharing them.
What I find funny is that we have been talking about girl names for months now, but not really any boy names. In previous pregnancies I have been focusing on boy names, but I think it's a girl. I could be wrong. . .who knows. I did the pendulum test. . .that said girl. . .but it also registered a boy. So it made me think . . ..wow I was carrying one of each. :(
Really bitter sweet.
I have begun picking out the things for the registry, fuck that!! I don't care if it's early by some peoples standards. . . I have been doing this for YEARS!!!
Right now I'm thinking Target and BabiesRUS. . .but that might change.
Little does Lou know. . .we are going to target tonight. . I might grab a gun. . muahahahah!! :)
Oh!! Migranes!! They have been getting worse. Like HELLA worse. Right now I just have a runny nose, so hopefully the owwie is done today.
And I'm still throwing up in the morning. Yesterday I threw up all day again. yuck!
Also my taste buds are still overly picky, I swear my pallet was replaced by Bourdain's.
I'm supposed to be excited for all of them?! I mean come the fuck on. I have literally been working my ass off for TWO YEARS to get to where I am. . .but it's so easy for everyone else. Oh, it just pisses me off!!
There are some people that I'm seriously happy for, but it's like. . .
"Oh, I had that due date."
"Oh, I would of been a mommy then."
And it's SO depressing.
Not because of their happiness, I'm genuenly happy for everyone that's pregnant. It's just so hard for me. . . I'm sure mom felt the same way when people kept going on with their lives, I don't dare think people should stop their lives for me, it just shocks me at times.
Like I know they are all with me, they are all part of me. . .it just hits me sometimes that . . .they are gone. And it comes so easily for others, effortlessly and I guess I'm a little bitter becasue I have had to go threw so much.
Anyway, now that I have that off my ever growing belly. . . .
The appointment with the Midwife went well. She didn't press for me to have the swine flu or any flu shot. which I'm all happy about. I did take the Downs, neural tube defects and crom blood test, hopefully that will come back perfectly.
I got to hear the baby!! First time ever, thank you very much.
To date I have had 6 pregnancies, about 25 ultrasounds, countless blood tests. . .and I have just NOW heard a heartbeat. It was actually kinda cool, my Midwife was like "We gonna hear the baby this time?"
"Nope."
I didn't expect to hear it at all. . .and there it was. . .that fast foompha foomhf. And I cried. Lou and I looked at one another and we were like holy shit! The heart is sitting at 140 bpm which is great!
Of course as soon as I told everyone this, they were like it's a boy!! it's a girl!!! I sound trite when I say this, but I don't care!!! As long as we are healthy!!
(But I think it's a girl.)
Yes, we have names picked out, no I'm not sharing them.
What I find funny is that we have been talking about girl names for months now, but not really any boy names. In previous pregnancies I have been focusing on boy names, but I think it's a girl. I could be wrong. . .who knows. I did the pendulum test. . .that said girl. . .but it also registered a boy. So it made me think . . ..wow I was carrying one of each. :(
Really bitter sweet.
I have begun picking out the things for the registry, fuck that!! I don't care if it's early by some peoples standards. . . I have been doing this for YEARS!!!
Right now I'm thinking Target and BabiesRUS. . .but that might change.
Little does Lou know. . .we are going to target tonight. . I might grab a gun. . muahahahah!! :)
Oh!! Migranes!! They have been getting worse. Like HELLA worse. Right now I just have a runny nose, so hopefully the owwie is done today.
And I'm still throwing up in the morning. Yesterday I threw up all day again. yuck!
Also my taste buds are still overly picky, I swear my pallet was replaced by Bourdain's.