Readiness Is Near (6/?)
Title: Readiness Is Near (6/?)
Author: blushemphasises/tinydancer
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: AU of late S4
Rating: Mature
Warning: None
Words: 2,315 (14,697 total)
Summary: Brian doesn’t usually try new things. He doesn’t think life has much more to offer him anyway. He’s done it all and anything he hasn’t tried is surely a path to his demise. Even a certain blond barista can’t change this, no matter how much he might complicate things.
Previous Chapters: One | Two | Three | Four | Five
A/N: On AO3
No one in their right mind would ever claim that Brian Kinney is a morning person - especially Saturday mornings when he takes to acting more of an asshole than usual to make up for hangovers and headaches alike.
So when on Saturday morning Brian wakes up to an impending headache and the distant sound of someone clattering around in his kitchen, he’s rightfully pissed -that is, until the alluring scent of freshly brewed coffee reaches his bedroom.
“Oh you’re up,” Justin walks up the steps wearing nothing but a pair of nicely fitted grey sweats. It takes Brian a moment to notice the coffee mug he’s holding.
Somehow, it’s both fitting and uncanny that the blond little barista knows one of two ways to avoid the Kinney hurricane on Saturday mornings. And as for number two…
“I’m up alright, and in more ways than one,” Brian replies, raising his eyebrows. One out of two isn’t bad, but two out of two is even better.
Justin smirks at the suggestion, sitting down on Brian’s side of the bed. He reaches under the covers and runs a warm hand over Brian’s bare thigh. “You never get enough, do you?”
“Never enough,” Brian agrees. Justin does that half-laugh thing he does, reaching down for a kiss.
His mouth is wet and warm, and Brian can taste a faintness of coffee from earlier. Soon enough, those warm lips trail down Brian’s body and envelop his cock - and it’s fucking wonderfully, deliciously hot. Brian has to supress a moan as Justin’s tongue slides over the head, and as he licks and sucks with just the right amount of pressure. By then, Brian doesn’t even bother supressing the groans and when he comes, he threads his fingers through Justin’s hair and grips him tighter as Justin groans along with him.
Jesus, the kid’s good. Either Justin’s a natural or he had a lot of practice - but either way, he’s born to be cocksucker. And Brian means that in the most flattering way.
He’s always been a big believer in reciprocating and he figures that Justin deserves it after such a stellar blowjob - so he flips Justin over with practiced ease and starts sucking on the sensitive spot on Justin’s neck, the one right under his left ear that seems to drive him crazy every time. But apparently Justin’s feeling particularly immune to the spot today, because he pulls Brian’s head back to eyelevel just when Brian’s kisses start travelling downwards.
“Wait, wait,” Justin laughs.
Brian pulls back with his eyebrows raised. “Are you turning down the chance to get your dick sucked? Sucked by me, I should add.”
“No,” Justin smiles. “Just saving it for later.” He hesitates for a moment before continuing. “I wanted to ask you something, actually. About last night.”
Brian should’ve guessed that the fantastic blowjob came at a price. He rolls off of Justin, reaching over to his side table for a cigarette.
Lighting up, he doesn’t meet Justin’s eyes. “Well?”
“It’s just… I was wondering why you called me last night, after you found out about… about Cody.”
Brian pauses then, not expecting that question out of all the ones he had been anticipating. He takes a drag and then answers. “Isn’t that what people do? Call and console.”
“That’s true,” Justin agrees, but then he hesitates again. “But why…”
Brian interrupts him quickly. “I fucking called you to make sure you were fine, okay?”
Justin considers this for a moment. Brian can feel Justin watching him carefully, but he ignores it and instead focuses on watching the smoke slowly disappear into the air as he exhales.
“Because you care about me,” Justin finally says, his tone is quiet but he sounds completely sure of the statement. “And I care about you too,” he continues just as quietly. And fuck, what’s Brian supposed to say to that?
“When you told me about your… about your cancer, I was so fucking scared. I thought about losing you and whatever this is we’re doing and…” he trails off. “I guess now I know for sure.”
Brian doesn’t reply right away. He sits up with his legs over the edge of the bed and his back facing Justin. “Didn’t know you were so big on declarations,” he finally says.
Brian hears Justin shift from behind him. “Actually, usually I’m not.”
Brian doesn’t reply to this, and when Justin places a hand on his bare shoulder, Brian shrugs out of the grip and stands up.
“I need a shower.”
Justin pauses then. “Okay,” he nods, his tone careful.
Brian heads to the bathroom and turns the shower on. He pictures Justin sitting on the bed, probably wondering what the fuck just happened or what he had said wrong. Fuck, there’s even a chance that he’s finally had enough of Brian’s bullshit no-emotion-zone and is up packing his shit and already half way out the door.
So typically, Brian managed to be an asshole even when he wasn’t trying to. Even when Justin deserved it the least.
He closes his eyes for a moment, and then walks out of the bathroom. Justin’s still sitting at the edge of the bed and looks up when he hears Brian.
“Well, are you coming? Or are you going?”
Justin looks startled at the question and he takes a second to answer, but when he does, he smiles softly.
“I’m coming,” he says. Brian watches as Justin reaches him in a few short steps and as he wraps his arms around his neck. Brian kisses him then, and maybe it went for a while, or maybe it didn’t, but he can hear the shower running in the distance and he doesn’t fucking care.
“Yeah, I’m coming,” Justin repeats, and then he grins. “And hopefully in more than one way.”
*
The coffee’s cold by the time they’re finally towelled off and dry. Brian shrugs and drinks it anyway, if only to feel the caffeine in his system sooner rather than later. Justin gives him an appalled look at that, and Brian’s grins because it’s fucking funny just how dedicated the kid is to his coffee.
“So, what’re your plans for today?” Justin asks over a bowl of Apple Jacks that he must’ve mysteriously conjured from somewhere, since Brian can’t remember the last time he bought cereal that isn’t corn flakes.
“No plans,” Brian replies, and then eyes the kid suspiciously. “You’re stocking my kitchen now?”
Justin laughs. “Hardly. I bought this last week after that time we had to eat avocado for breakfast.”
“Avocados are fucking healthy.”
“They’re also fucking gross,” Justin scrunches up his face at the memory, and no, Brian does not find it the least bit endearing.
“Fine, put that shit in your body if you want. But remember, that perfect twink physique isn’t gonna last forever,” he smirks. “Pretty soon you’ll be wishing you had my restraint.”
“Brian,” Justin laughs. “You know your diet’s fucked up, right? You say no carbs after seven but I’ve seen you eat a whole box of hokkien noodles at 2 in the morning. And don’t even try and pretend you’re not addicted to those chocolate-filled pastries at my work, because you are and everyone else who works there knows it too.”
Justin grins triumphantly, the little shit, and Brian glares at him.
“Anyway, I’m pretty busy today so I should get going,” Justin finishes the last of his cereal by picking up the bowl and drinking the milk like a fucking kid. Brian just shakes his head and chooses to ignore it. “We have this art show thing at my college in a few days so I need to get my shit together and get my pieces finished.”
Brian nods and watches Justin head towards the door. “You need a ride?”
Justin smiles at that, but he doesn’t seem surprised. “Thanks but I actually drove here. Borrowed Daph’s car.”
Brian nods again, “See you later then.”
“Yeah...” Justin says, and he trails off like he just remembered something. “Actually, you’re not -“ he cuts himself off again. “Actually, never mind.”
Brian frowns, “I’m not what?”
Justin waves his hand. “No, never mind,” he says again.
“Just fucking tell me.”
Justin sighs. “I was going to ask if you’re coming to the spin class tomorrow, but I guess the Liberty Ride isn’t such a great idea if you’re still, you know... if you’re still recovering.”
Brian looks away for a moment, feeling the discomfort crawl over his skin like a creature. Fucking cancer. Fucking doctors, fucking everything.
Finally, he huffs out a laugh and it sounds bitter even to his own ears. “Yeah, it’s definitely more than the light stretching and mild cardio the docs prescribed.”
Justin stares at him for a moment in silence. Then he swiftly strides closer to Brian in two short steps, and then kisses him, long and hard.
When they break a part, Justin’s expression is full of something. Something like a mixture of concern and affection, which should be fucking terrifying, but Brian can’t find it in himself to be outraged. He smiles at Justin, almost tiredly.
“Later.”
Justin nods, “Later.” He smiles and lets himself out.
*
Brian spends the rest of his Saturday perfecting a presentation for Monday’s new account. He had considered dropping by Lindsay’s to see Gus but by the time he finished up it was probably already Gus’ bedtime. He ends up spending his night at Babylon and picks up a mediocre trick in the backroom. He thinks about what it’d be like if he just turned up to spin class the next day - he’d have to face the fucking pain headlong with no apologies, and with no regrets. He thinks about it while he’s thrusting into the trick, out and in, and by the time he comes, Brian thinks fuck everything and finally makes a decision.
*
Sunday afternoon Brian shows up to the spin class just as they’re about to get started. Justin’s somewhere near the front next to Theodore. He’s obviously surprised to see Brian, and Brian feels both Justin and Ted shooting him concerned looks every now and then - which does nothing but bother Brian and motivate him even more.
In the end though, he has to stop. It’s humiliating and fucking embarrassing but the last session was without a break and if Brian hadn’t stopped he would’ve vomited up his entire breakfast - and in no universe will he put himself through that ever again if can help it.
Justin catches him in the change room afterwards, and Brian glares at him when he sees the blond approaching.
“Brian,” Justin says in a patient tone, and Brian wants to hate him for it. “You shouldn’t do this.”
He laughs humourlessly. “Well, it’s obvious that I fucking can’t so don’t bother trying to convince me not to.”
Justin pauses and the only watches his for a moment. Brian glares right back. Finally, Justin speaks. “Going on the Liberty Ride is important to you?”
Brian snorts in reply but Justin ignores it. “Why is it so important?”
“Does it matter why?”
“Yes,” he replies, like it’s so simple.
Brian scowls at him. “You fucking know why already.”
Justin nods slowly, “I guess it’s got something to do with giving a big fuck you to your cancer and doing whatever the fuck you want whenever the fuck you want to instead.”
Brian huffs out a short laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”
“Okay,” Justin nods, this time more surely. “Then I’ll help you.” He says it in a way that someone would say something obvious like the sky is blue or water is wet, like he’s taken for granted that Brian had already agreed.
“I don’t think so,” Brian scoffs. He tries to end the conversation at that, turning around to pick up his bag and then leave, but Justin blocks his way.
“Why not?”
“Because I fucking said so and because I don’t need your fucking help.” Jesus, isn’t that explanation enough?
“The Liberty Ride’s in almost three weeks and you have to train and get in shape. I can help you with that.”
“Oh yeah?” Brian raises his eyebrows. “How are you going to manage that?”
Justin smiles, “I have my ways.”
Brian stays silent, but he isn’t going out of his way to leave anymore, either. “We can come back here tomorrow night instead to practice after hours.” Justin continues. “Actually, it’d be better for me since I can’t make it to a lot of the classes ‘cause of work.”
Brian finds himself actually considering the ridiculous idea for a moment, before he comes to his sense.
He hesitates before replying, “Justin, the charity’s for the Liberty Hospice, not me. I don’t need you wasting your time just so you can give me an ego boost.”
Justin finally looks fucking angry at that. “Fuck you, Brian. You know you need my help. And I know, you’re going to go on the Liberty Ride and you’re going to be a big, fat fucking success,” he glares at Brian. “But without getting into shape I doubt you’ll even make it out of Toronto, much less the 322 miles back to Pittsburgh.”
It’s silent in the change room after that, with both of them staring each other -until Brian quirks his lips.
“Big fucking success, huh?” He says, and Justin breaks into a smile.
“The biggest.”
Brian smirks at him in reply. “And you’re sure you can get us in here after hours?”
Justin laughs, “Don’t worry about that. Let’s just say I was well acquainted with our instructor once. A dose of my blond boy charm and we’ll have the key for sure.”
“Confident, are we?”
“Yeah. You of all people should know it’s true,” Justin teases.
Brian only shakes his head, because yeah it’s fucking true, the charming little twat.
Author: blushemphasises/tinydancer
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: AU of late S4
Rating: Mature
Warning: None
Words: 2,315 (14,697 total)
Summary: Brian doesn’t usually try new things. He doesn’t think life has much more to offer him anyway. He’s done it all and anything he hasn’t tried is surely a path to his demise. Even a certain blond barista can’t change this, no matter how much he might complicate things.
Previous Chapters: One | Two | Three | Four | Five
A/N: On AO3
No one in their right mind would ever claim that Brian Kinney is a morning person - especially Saturday mornings when he takes to acting more of an asshole than usual to make up for hangovers and headaches alike.
So when on Saturday morning Brian wakes up to an impending headache and the distant sound of someone clattering around in his kitchen, he’s rightfully pissed -that is, until the alluring scent of freshly brewed coffee reaches his bedroom.
“Oh you’re up,” Justin walks up the steps wearing nothing but a pair of nicely fitted grey sweats. It takes Brian a moment to notice the coffee mug he’s holding.
Somehow, it’s both fitting and uncanny that the blond little barista knows one of two ways to avoid the Kinney hurricane on Saturday mornings. And as for number two…
“I’m up alright, and in more ways than one,” Brian replies, raising his eyebrows. One out of two isn’t bad, but two out of two is even better.
Justin smirks at the suggestion, sitting down on Brian’s side of the bed. He reaches under the covers and runs a warm hand over Brian’s bare thigh. “You never get enough, do you?”
“Never enough,” Brian agrees. Justin does that half-laugh thing he does, reaching down for a kiss.
His mouth is wet and warm, and Brian can taste a faintness of coffee from earlier. Soon enough, those warm lips trail down Brian’s body and envelop his cock - and it’s fucking wonderfully, deliciously hot. Brian has to supress a moan as Justin’s tongue slides over the head, and as he licks and sucks with just the right amount of pressure. By then, Brian doesn’t even bother supressing the groans and when he comes, he threads his fingers through Justin’s hair and grips him tighter as Justin groans along with him.
Jesus, the kid’s good. Either Justin’s a natural or he had a lot of practice - but either way, he’s born to be cocksucker. And Brian means that in the most flattering way.
He’s always been a big believer in reciprocating and he figures that Justin deserves it after such a stellar blowjob - so he flips Justin over with practiced ease and starts sucking on the sensitive spot on Justin’s neck, the one right under his left ear that seems to drive him crazy every time. But apparently Justin’s feeling particularly immune to the spot today, because he pulls Brian’s head back to eyelevel just when Brian’s kisses start travelling downwards.
“Wait, wait,” Justin laughs.
Brian pulls back with his eyebrows raised. “Are you turning down the chance to get your dick sucked? Sucked by me, I should add.”
“No,” Justin smiles. “Just saving it for later.” He hesitates for a moment before continuing. “I wanted to ask you something, actually. About last night.”
Brian should’ve guessed that the fantastic blowjob came at a price. He rolls off of Justin, reaching over to his side table for a cigarette.
Lighting up, he doesn’t meet Justin’s eyes. “Well?”
“It’s just… I was wondering why you called me last night, after you found out about… about Cody.”
Brian pauses then, not expecting that question out of all the ones he had been anticipating. He takes a drag and then answers. “Isn’t that what people do? Call and console.”
“That’s true,” Justin agrees, but then he hesitates again. “But why…”
Brian interrupts him quickly. “I fucking called you to make sure you were fine, okay?”
Justin considers this for a moment. Brian can feel Justin watching him carefully, but he ignores it and instead focuses on watching the smoke slowly disappear into the air as he exhales.
“Because you care about me,” Justin finally says, his tone is quiet but he sounds completely sure of the statement. “And I care about you too,” he continues just as quietly. And fuck, what’s Brian supposed to say to that?
“When you told me about your… about your cancer, I was so fucking scared. I thought about losing you and whatever this is we’re doing and…” he trails off. “I guess now I know for sure.”
Brian doesn’t reply right away. He sits up with his legs over the edge of the bed and his back facing Justin. “Didn’t know you were so big on declarations,” he finally says.
Brian hears Justin shift from behind him. “Actually, usually I’m not.”
Brian doesn’t reply to this, and when Justin places a hand on his bare shoulder, Brian shrugs out of the grip and stands up.
“I need a shower.”
Justin pauses then. “Okay,” he nods, his tone careful.
Brian heads to the bathroom and turns the shower on. He pictures Justin sitting on the bed, probably wondering what the fuck just happened or what he had said wrong. Fuck, there’s even a chance that he’s finally had enough of Brian’s bullshit no-emotion-zone and is up packing his shit and already half way out the door.
So typically, Brian managed to be an asshole even when he wasn’t trying to. Even when Justin deserved it the least.
He closes his eyes for a moment, and then walks out of the bathroom. Justin’s still sitting at the edge of the bed and looks up when he hears Brian.
“Well, are you coming? Or are you going?”
Justin looks startled at the question and he takes a second to answer, but when he does, he smiles softly.
“I’m coming,” he says. Brian watches as Justin reaches him in a few short steps and as he wraps his arms around his neck. Brian kisses him then, and maybe it went for a while, or maybe it didn’t, but he can hear the shower running in the distance and he doesn’t fucking care.
“Yeah, I’m coming,” Justin repeats, and then he grins. “And hopefully in more than one way.”
*
The coffee’s cold by the time they’re finally towelled off and dry. Brian shrugs and drinks it anyway, if only to feel the caffeine in his system sooner rather than later. Justin gives him an appalled look at that, and Brian’s grins because it’s fucking funny just how dedicated the kid is to his coffee.
“So, what’re your plans for today?” Justin asks over a bowl of Apple Jacks that he must’ve mysteriously conjured from somewhere, since Brian can’t remember the last time he bought cereal that isn’t corn flakes.
“No plans,” Brian replies, and then eyes the kid suspiciously. “You’re stocking my kitchen now?”
Justin laughs. “Hardly. I bought this last week after that time we had to eat avocado for breakfast.”
“Avocados are fucking healthy.”
“They’re also fucking gross,” Justin scrunches up his face at the memory, and no, Brian does not find it the least bit endearing.
“Fine, put that shit in your body if you want. But remember, that perfect twink physique isn’t gonna last forever,” he smirks. “Pretty soon you’ll be wishing you had my restraint.”
“Brian,” Justin laughs. “You know your diet’s fucked up, right? You say no carbs after seven but I’ve seen you eat a whole box of hokkien noodles at 2 in the morning. And don’t even try and pretend you’re not addicted to those chocolate-filled pastries at my work, because you are and everyone else who works there knows it too.”
Justin grins triumphantly, the little shit, and Brian glares at him.
“Anyway, I’m pretty busy today so I should get going,” Justin finishes the last of his cereal by picking up the bowl and drinking the milk like a fucking kid. Brian just shakes his head and chooses to ignore it. “We have this art show thing at my college in a few days so I need to get my shit together and get my pieces finished.”
Brian nods and watches Justin head towards the door. “You need a ride?”
Justin smiles at that, but he doesn’t seem surprised. “Thanks but I actually drove here. Borrowed Daph’s car.”
Brian nods again, “See you later then.”
“Yeah...” Justin says, and he trails off like he just remembered something. “Actually, you’re not -“ he cuts himself off again. “Actually, never mind.”
Brian frowns, “I’m not what?”
Justin waves his hand. “No, never mind,” he says again.
“Just fucking tell me.”
Justin sighs. “I was going to ask if you’re coming to the spin class tomorrow, but I guess the Liberty Ride isn’t such a great idea if you’re still, you know... if you’re still recovering.”
Brian looks away for a moment, feeling the discomfort crawl over his skin like a creature. Fucking cancer. Fucking doctors, fucking everything.
Finally, he huffs out a laugh and it sounds bitter even to his own ears. “Yeah, it’s definitely more than the light stretching and mild cardio the docs prescribed.”
Justin stares at him for a moment in silence. Then he swiftly strides closer to Brian in two short steps, and then kisses him, long and hard.
When they break a part, Justin’s expression is full of something. Something like a mixture of concern and affection, which should be fucking terrifying, but Brian can’t find it in himself to be outraged. He smiles at Justin, almost tiredly.
“Later.”
Justin nods, “Later.” He smiles and lets himself out.
*
Brian spends the rest of his Saturday perfecting a presentation for Monday’s new account. He had considered dropping by Lindsay’s to see Gus but by the time he finished up it was probably already Gus’ bedtime. He ends up spending his night at Babylon and picks up a mediocre trick in the backroom. He thinks about what it’d be like if he just turned up to spin class the next day - he’d have to face the fucking pain headlong with no apologies, and with no regrets. He thinks about it while he’s thrusting into the trick, out and in, and by the time he comes, Brian thinks fuck everything and finally makes a decision.
*
Sunday afternoon Brian shows up to the spin class just as they’re about to get started. Justin’s somewhere near the front next to Theodore. He’s obviously surprised to see Brian, and Brian feels both Justin and Ted shooting him concerned looks every now and then - which does nothing but bother Brian and motivate him even more.
In the end though, he has to stop. It’s humiliating and fucking embarrassing but the last session was without a break and if Brian hadn’t stopped he would’ve vomited up his entire breakfast - and in no universe will he put himself through that ever again if can help it.
Justin catches him in the change room afterwards, and Brian glares at him when he sees the blond approaching.
“Brian,” Justin says in a patient tone, and Brian wants to hate him for it. “You shouldn’t do this.”
He laughs humourlessly. “Well, it’s obvious that I fucking can’t so don’t bother trying to convince me not to.”
Justin pauses and the only watches his for a moment. Brian glares right back. Finally, Justin speaks. “Going on the Liberty Ride is important to you?”
Brian snorts in reply but Justin ignores it. “Why is it so important?”
“Does it matter why?”
“Yes,” he replies, like it’s so simple.
Brian scowls at him. “You fucking know why already.”
Justin nods slowly, “I guess it’s got something to do with giving a big fuck you to your cancer and doing whatever the fuck you want whenever the fuck you want to instead.”
Brian huffs out a short laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”
“Okay,” Justin nods, this time more surely. “Then I’ll help you.” He says it in a way that someone would say something obvious like the sky is blue or water is wet, like he’s taken for granted that Brian had already agreed.
“I don’t think so,” Brian scoffs. He tries to end the conversation at that, turning around to pick up his bag and then leave, but Justin blocks his way.
“Why not?”
“Because I fucking said so and because I don’t need your fucking help.” Jesus, isn’t that explanation enough?
“The Liberty Ride’s in almost three weeks and you have to train and get in shape. I can help you with that.”
“Oh yeah?” Brian raises his eyebrows. “How are you going to manage that?”
Justin smiles, “I have my ways.”
Brian stays silent, but he isn’t going out of his way to leave anymore, either. “We can come back here tomorrow night instead to practice after hours.” Justin continues. “Actually, it’d be better for me since I can’t make it to a lot of the classes ‘cause of work.”
Brian finds himself actually considering the ridiculous idea for a moment, before he comes to his sense.
He hesitates before replying, “Justin, the charity’s for the Liberty Hospice, not me. I don’t need you wasting your time just so you can give me an ego boost.”
Justin finally looks fucking angry at that. “Fuck you, Brian. You know you need my help. And I know, you’re going to go on the Liberty Ride and you’re going to be a big, fat fucking success,” he glares at Brian. “But without getting into shape I doubt you’ll even make it out of Toronto, much less the 322 miles back to Pittsburgh.”
It’s silent in the change room after that, with both of them staring each other -until Brian quirks his lips.
“Big fucking success, huh?” He says, and Justin breaks into a smile.
“The biggest.”
Brian smirks at him in reply. “And you’re sure you can get us in here after hours?”
Justin laughs, “Don’t worry about that. Let’s just say I was well acquainted with our instructor once. A dose of my blond boy charm and we’ll have the key for sure.”
“Confident, are we?”
“Yeah. You of all people should know it’s true,” Justin teases.
Brian only shakes his head, because yeah it’s fucking true, the charming little twat.