What a Long Strange Trip It's Been
I'm sad. Sad in my life, and to see the changes that have happened since I last posted. My good friend ed is dead, rsklywabit. Suicide is my suspicion. And to see one of his last posting was 'are you there;, or something along those lines. I'm still here. You're not, but I am. Though I tried to not be here last Tuesday. Failed attempt. A cry for help, yeah. If it's failed, I guess it's a cry for help. I just feel so lost. Lost in the ugliness of the world. What has it brought me to be a good person? To live with integrity and compassion in my life? Yeah,yeah. Pity party? No. Just tired. I use to so firmly believe in the inherent goodness of every being. That no matter the ugly deeds they do, the scarring of life, they still have goodness deep within them. The need and quest to be Loved. Now I'm just not so sure. And that uncertaintly has me floudering in my own life. Wondering if my very CORE belief has been a lie all along. How do I go on then? if its a lie. If all I am is a lie. All I believe is a lie.