Time goes on
Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you
So I feel absolutely powerless. If I think back on all the guys I've liked throughout my life I've always managed to get them in the end. People say that it's my 'great' personality mixed in with my good looks. Whatever. And yet, when it comes to this whole situation with Jay I'm completely powerless.
Yesterday he told me that he had a sex dream about me and he can't stop thinking about it. All I could think was wow, he had a sex dream about me...lying next to his girlfriend. That's a little skanky. But I can't help but feel the way I do about him.
How can he tell me all the things he does and go home to her? How can he devote all this time to me and making me happy and making me laugh and giving me massages, etc...and then go home to her? It seems unjust. Not only because I feel like I deserve to be happy and he deserves to be with someone who makes him happy...but also because Jennifer deserve someone who will give her more then he does. Someone who won't go off and be all over another girl, telling her how unhappy he is in the relationship, and all around deceitful. It seems unfair.
I think in the situation we all deserve more. I'm tired of people telling me that me and my 'boyfriend' (meaning him) are so cute. I'm tired of having the time of my life with him only to leave and him go off to her. If he's not happy why doesn't he get out. There's no way I'm going to do anything. I'm not going to put my life on the line for him, all I can do is wait. But what is he waiting for?
Are guys just this lazy when it comes to breaking up with people? If he's not happy...why doesn't he leave?
* * * *
So last night a bunch of my friends us went out to the Corner Pub and had a really great time. I love going out in large groups of my friends, when there's a group of us the fun is more exagerated. We danced. We drank. I got on stage. It was a lot of fun. The only downside of everything was running into people from my high school.
Personally, I think it's really pathetic that these people I went to high school with are still so connected to each other. They're all still paired up together. I mean, COME ON! BRANCH OUT! There's a whole other world out there. So it made me happy when the six people from my high school said hi to me and I was there with a group of my friends...none of which I went to high school with. It was just validating in a way, that I've managed NOT to have peaked in high school.
Which brings up the best point of all, I just get better and better as time goes on...
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you
So I feel absolutely powerless. If I think back on all the guys I've liked throughout my life I've always managed to get them in the end. People say that it's my 'great' personality mixed in with my good looks. Whatever. And yet, when it comes to this whole situation with Jay I'm completely powerless.
Yesterday he told me that he had a sex dream about me and he can't stop thinking about it. All I could think was wow, he had a sex dream about me...lying next to his girlfriend. That's a little skanky. But I can't help but feel the way I do about him.
How can he tell me all the things he does and go home to her? How can he devote all this time to me and making me happy and making me laugh and giving me massages, etc...and then go home to her? It seems unjust. Not only because I feel like I deserve to be happy and he deserves to be with someone who makes him happy...but also because Jennifer deserve someone who will give her more then he does. Someone who won't go off and be all over another girl, telling her how unhappy he is in the relationship, and all around deceitful. It seems unfair.
I think in the situation we all deserve more. I'm tired of people telling me that me and my 'boyfriend' (meaning him) are so cute. I'm tired of having the time of my life with him only to leave and him go off to her. If he's not happy why doesn't he get out. There's no way I'm going to do anything. I'm not going to put my life on the line for him, all I can do is wait. But what is he waiting for?
Are guys just this lazy when it comes to breaking up with people? If he's not happy...why doesn't he leave?
* * * *
So last night a bunch of my friends us went out to the Corner Pub and had a really great time. I love going out in large groups of my friends, when there's a group of us the fun is more exagerated. We danced. We drank. I got on stage. It was a lot of fun. The only downside of everything was running into people from my high school.
Personally, I think it's really pathetic that these people I went to high school with are still so connected to each other. They're all still paired up together. I mean, COME ON! BRANCH OUT! There's a whole other world out there. So it made me happy when the six people from my high school said hi to me and I was there with a group of my friends...none of which I went to high school with. It was just validating in a way, that I've managed NOT to have peaked in high school.
Which brings up the best point of all, I just get better and better as time goes on...