about damn time
i'm almost all growed up.
well i feel that way.
it took me long enough but i'm finally making good decisions. well at least more good then bad haha.
i find myself in a cycle though. i keep meeting guys, dating them and then realizing i don't really like them i just like the attention. i feel completely mind fucked in a way.
but seriously...i was on a date last night. we went to see the new alice in wonderland movie, which was good by the way, and i was waiting for the guy to come out of the bathroom when this really hot guy walked by and i realized "why am i dating this guy? i am not attracted to him at all. in fact was i drunk everytime i was him? what was i thinking?" then the rest of the night continued to feel awkward. i was really glad he didn't try to kiss me goodbye. ewwwwwwww! i mean i feel like i'm shallow for saying that, but the fact of the matter is that if you're not in some way attracted to the person you're dating it's clearly not gonna work. i think i liked the idea of him being nice. but i really do think nice guys finish last haha! but this is the second time i've done this since my ex and i broke up.
which is another story. mr on again off again is the one mind fucking me. he seemingly can't live with me or without me. i was actually happy about us breaking up. which is weird. i'm never happy about breaking up with someone. i mope around forever about it. not him though i was in a good place. til i saw him again and he was all "i miss you blah blah blah..." just messed up all the good stuff i had in place regarding the whole situation. but regardless i know that we're done. we're in two different places in our lives. i'm trying to grow up and get my life in order....be responsible all that crap. while he's just too deluded to see the real world and deal with it. he needs to grow up. so to save myself a long winded explanation....it's over and i need to stick to that. i can't let him keep dragging me through the mud. I can have anyone i want and i would choose him? sadly yes if he could commit........but he can't.
It's a proven fact that I am way out of his league anyways. this is what i have been missing the last few weeks...my confidence! i forgot that i had that haha.
my new favorite word lately has been "oogle." it's like what you do when you see someone good looking but just look.
well i feel that way.
it took me long enough but i'm finally making good decisions. well at least more good then bad haha.
i find myself in a cycle though. i keep meeting guys, dating them and then realizing i don't really like them i just like the attention. i feel completely mind fucked in a way.
but seriously...i was on a date last night. we went to see the new alice in wonderland movie, which was good by the way, and i was waiting for the guy to come out of the bathroom when this really hot guy walked by and i realized "why am i dating this guy? i am not attracted to him at all. in fact was i drunk everytime i was him? what was i thinking?" then the rest of the night continued to feel awkward. i was really glad he didn't try to kiss me goodbye. ewwwwwwww! i mean i feel like i'm shallow for saying that, but the fact of the matter is that if you're not in some way attracted to the person you're dating it's clearly not gonna work. i think i liked the idea of him being nice. but i really do think nice guys finish last haha! but this is the second time i've done this since my ex and i broke up.
which is another story. mr on again off again is the one mind fucking me. he seemingly can't live with me or without me. i was actually happy about us breaking up. which is weird. i'm never happy about breaking up with someone. i mope around forever about it. not him though i was in a good place. til i saw him again and he was all "i miss you blah blah blah..." just messed up all the good stuff i had in place regarding the whole situation. but regardless i know that we're done. we're in two different places in our lives. i'm trying to grow up and get my life in order....be responsible all that crap. while he's just too deluded to see the real world and deal with it. he needs to grow up. so to save myself a long winded explanation....it's over and i need to stick to that. i can't let him keep dragging me through the mud. I can have anyone i want and i would choose him? sadly yes if he could commit........but he can't.
It's a proven fact that I am way out of his league anyways. this is what i have been missing the last few weeks...my confidence! i forgot that i had that haha.
my new favorite word lately has been "oogle." it's like what you do when you see someone good looking but just look.