Wanna hear how I am the dumbest smart person I know? I just now looked in my back pack for my computer. I peeked inside, and it's GONE!! What the hell!?? Did I leave it at the restaurant? Surely I would have noticed a computer sitting on the table! GASP! Someone STOLE it!! Where could it - wait. Oh. Oh. Here it is. I just used it to send a comment ( Read more... )

Dude. You guys will never guess what I saw today. A cadaver hoohadilly. No, seriously. The teacher brought out a plasticized leg, chopped straight in half at the crotch. Like down the front. All the skin was gone, so I got to see the muscles and vessels and stuff. And by stuff, I mean pussy. Old cadaver pussy. There was still hair on it ( Read more... )

That's what I thought when I went to lab today and got to play with a sheep heart. I gloved up and stuck my finger right into that thing. Would you like to know what it's like to stick your finger in a sheep heart? Well, first, lick your finger. Get it good and slippery. Then stick it in an asshole. It's like that. Kind of firm, kind of squishy. ( Read more... )

I found my mommy. She was tired and didn't feel like working out yesterday. I said "So you can't call a lady?" The answer to that is apparently not. So I found her and then she went with me to run some errands. We went to Staples and Kroger's and the United Grocery Outlet where I bought 4 loaves of bread. This bread is fucking awesome and it's 99 ( Read more... )

As in "Geezer". I'll be 30 tomorrow. How's that for ya? Mom wants to take me out to dinner and she wants Tink to come too. I thought we might go to the Omni-Hut because you can BYOB there and how much fun is that? A lot. I figure I'll party it up on Friday night as well, for you people who want to buy me drinks ( Read more... )

You mean that crazy drunk woman that hit my car in the parking lot of Dirty Jim's last July, then yes. I know her ( Read more... )

I took my AP test this afternoon and I think I did pretty well. After I finished it, I decided to double-check my answers. There were 5 questions I marked wrong. WTF. FIVE times I filled in the wrong stupid bubble. I never double-check anything but you can bet my sweet ass I will from now on ( Read more... )

She showed me her bra and then insisted I touch it. It was a nice bra, but that was kind of weird ( Read more... )

Chris did. He's totally girls-gone-wild ( Read more... )

Gazelles are so graceful. So graceful in fact that sometimes, they just fall over. I'm like that too, so that's what I did today. I took Lucy for a walk and as I was coming back in the house, Jessica was there and we said hello and then- THEN I fell down the stairs, twisting the holy fuck out of my ankle. Jess helped me back into my house where I ( Read more... )