Romeo? I think I used to have a scene with him.
I ruminate on love.
Chris and I run hot and cold. One minute I am absolutely positive I'm about to be divorced. The next I'm naked in him arms.
I've been thinking about commitment, and family. What it means to be married.
Chris got the short end of the stick. I gave my forever to John. I never took that last step forward when we got married. I didn't take his name. It didn't feel closer. It just felt harder to leave.
That's what I think about, cutting my losses and running. Granted, there's been a lot to run from. And now that I've got him back on his feet, doing well - now is when I think about leaving. Just like with John.
But the word "commitment."
I promised him thick and thin. I promised richer and poor. I promised sickness and health.
What's that last step? Breaking my walls? Melding our lives?
Part of it is him - he's emotionally a scared little boy. Part of it is me - I am so afraid of being a fool that I am always ready to leave.
But this is what I want. I want to be with him. Yes, he's not perfect, but at least he keeps trying. I have gone through so much, sometimes I think that I don't know what to do when the dust settles. Like things aren't right unless something is wrong.
But commitment.
Marriage.
Husband.
Wife.
Family.
We can't build a life together as long as we are apart.
Now that we've made it through the bad, it's time to work on some good.
Chris and I run hot and cold. One minute I am absolutely positive I'm about to be divorced. The next I'm naked in him arms.
I've been thinking about commitment, and family. What it means to be married.
Chris got the short end of the stick. I gave my forever to John. I never took that last step forward when we got married. I didn't take his name. It didn't feel closer. It just felt harder to leave.
That's what I think about, cutting my losses and running. Granted, there's been a lot to run from. And now that I've got him back on his feet, doing well - now is when I think about leaving. Just like with John.
But the word "commitment."
I promised him thick and thin. I promised richer and poor. I promised sickness and health.
What's that last step? Breaking my walls? Melding our lives?
Part of it is him - he's emotionally a scared little boy. Part of it is me - I am so afraid of being a fool that I am always ready to leave.
But this is what I want. I want to be with him. Yes, he's not perfect, but at least he keeps trying. I have gone through so much, sometimes I think that I don't know what to do when the dust settles. Like things aren't right unless something is wrong.
But commitment.
Marriage.
Husband.
Wife.
Family.
We can't build a life together as long as we are apart.
Now that we've made it through the bad, it's time to work on some good.