A Christmas song that makes me happy
Or, I should say, an Xmas song, because (not surprisingly), this one is from Futurama. By the year 3000, the "archaic" pronunciation of Christmas had long since changed to "X-mas."
The set up: Back in the year 2801, some corporation built a Robot Santa to judge who had been naughty and nice. Due to a programming error, Santa judges almost everyone to be naughty and tries to gun them down with missiles and 1920s-era machine guns. The population of Neptune, who'd formerly served as toy-making elves, has sunk into depression following the closing of their toy factory, on which is hung a sign: "Coming soon - crack house."
In the year 3003 (let's say), the evil Robot Santa gets stuck in partially-melted ice while trying to trap the Planet Express ship. The intrepid Planet Express Crew decides to save Christmas with the lovable robot Bender (pictured in my icon) playing Santa. The Neptunian elves happily agree to make toys.
The Elves Have Rescued Xmas Day
Elves: We are free and fairly sober with so many toys to build
The machines are kind of tricky, prob’ly someone will be killed
But we gladly work for nothing
Fry: Which is good because we don’t intend to pay
All: The elves are back to work today! Hooray!
Elves: We have just a couple hours to make several billion gifts
And the labor isn’t easy
Leela: Then you’ll all work triple shifts
You can make the job go quicker if you turn up the controls to super speed
(music tempo increases)
Elves: It’s back to work on Xmas Eve
(panting) Hooray!
Leela: And though you’re cold and sore and ugly, your pride will mask the pain
Fry: Let my happy smile warm your hearts
Elf: There’s a toy lodged in my brain
Elves: We are getting awfully tired and we can’t work any faster
And we’re very, very sorry
Bender: Why, you selfish little bastards!
Do you want the kids to think that Santa’s just a crummy, empty-handed jerk?
(sounds of elves being kicked) Then shut your yaps and back to work!
Elves: Now it’s very nearly Xmas, and we’ve done the best we could
Fry: These toy soldiers are poorly painted
Leela: And they’re made from inferior wood
Bender: I should give you all a beating, but I really have to fly
Robot Santa: If I weren’t stuck here frozen, I’d harpoon you in the eye
Elves: Now it’s back into our tenements to drown ourselves in rye
Leela: You did the best you could, I guess, and some of these gorillas are OK
Elves: Hooray!
Elf: We’re adequate!
All: The elves have rescued Xmas Day! Hooray!
Why? Just because. Typing this up was fun, although formatting the text into LJ was more work than I'd hoped...
Disclaimer: I'm sure this song is the property of the brilliant folks at Futurama. I'm just sharing the joy.
EDIT: mishloran found the song posted on YouTube. The link is in the comments if you'd like to hear - and it's so worth it. Whee!
The set up: Back in the year 2801, some corporation built a Robot Santa to judge who had been naughty and nice. Due to a programming error, Santa judges almost everyone to be naughty and tries to gun them down with missiles and 1920s-era machine guns. The population of Neptune, who'd formerly served as toy-making elves, has sunk into depression following the closing of their toy factory, on which is hung a sign: "Coming soon - crack house."
In the year 3003 (let's say), the evil Robot Santa gets stuck in partially-melted ice while trying to trap the Planet Express ship. The intrepid Planet Express Crew decides to save Christmas with the lovable robot Bender (pictured in my icon) playing Santa. The Neptunian elves happily agree to make toys.
The Elves Have Rescued Xmas Day
Elves: We are free and fairly sober with so many toys to build
The machines are kind of tricky, prob’ly someone will be killed
But we gladly work for nothing
Fry: Which is good because we don’t intend to pay
All: The elves are back to work today! Hooray!
Elves: We have just a couple hours to make several billion gifts
And the labor isn’t easy
Leela: Then you’ll all work triple shifts
You can make the job go quicker if you turn up the controls to super speed
(music tempo increases)
Elves: It’s back to work on Xmas Eve
(panting) Hooray!
Leela: And though you’re cold and sore and ugly, your pride will mask the pain
Fry: Let my happy smile warm your hearts
Elf: There’s a toy lodged in my brain
Elves: We are getting awfully tired and we can’t work any faster
And we’re very, very sorry
Bender: Why, you selfish little bastards!
Do you want the kids to think that Santa’s just a crummy, empty-handed jerk?
(sounds of elves being kicked) Then shut your yaps and back to work!
Elves: Now it’s very nearly Xmas, and we’ve done the best we could
Fry: These toy soldiers are poorly painted
Leela: And they’re made from inferior wood
Bender: I should give you all a beating, but I really have to fly
Robot Santa: If I weren’t stuck here frozen, I’d harpoon you in the eye
Elves: Now it’s back into our tenements to drown ourselves in rye
Leela: You did the best you could, I guess, and some of these gorillas are OK
Elves: Hooray!
Elf: We’re adequate!
All: The elves have rescued Xmas Day! Hooray!
Why? Just because. Typing this up was fun, although formatting the text into LJ was more work than I'd hoped...
Disclaimer: I'm sure this song is the property of the brilliant folks at Futurama. I'm just sharing the joy.
EDIT: mishloran found the song posted on YouTube. The link is in the comments if you'd like to hear - and it's so worth it. Whee!