(no subject)
What the fuck happened to my life
i ended up not being good enough, for any of them. They judged me, and influenced, they flagged me and sentanced me to death. I did everything i could, i loved the best i knew how, I stuck through everything for love, and i made my mistakes. My mistakes prooved too severe and now the one person i loved more than anyone else in the world is gone. so fast, without warning, gone. What happened to loving the good and the bad, what happened to loving through flaws and mistakes. what did i do? I am in hell. i can't eat, i can't sleep, i can't find joy in anything, my friends give me solace but as soon as i am alone againg i can't control the meloncholy, It feels so unjust, so fucked up, and at the same time i partially understand what she needs, but how did she stop so fast, there has to be something more, something i'm missing, what the fuck happened to my life. I literaly listened to her voice telling me she loved me in the way only she knew how, and i am now I am cut off from that voice completely? How the fuck am I supposed to live through this, I don't even want to, The crime just does not seem just with the punishement. I never hit, I never cursed her, i did lose my temper, but for christ's sake, everyone does. Things got out of hand, but we reconciled it, we talked and held eachother and cried we made up! What the fuck happened to my life. I am not perfect but i did everything i could, I am willing to do what it takes, but i cant just cut her out of my life for a month, I can't god please, there's too much, everything in my life reminds me of her, it's not even real to me, i want to be in her room watching a movie on her computer, tickling her god this isn't real this isn't fucking real what the FUCK. I said somthing i never should have said, i was not in a solid state, which is no excuse but dear god Can a man not make a mistake with out being crucified. We found the problems to the fights, we needed space we took space and it was amazing, we found our roots we knew what we needed to do to continue growing together, GONE, where did it go, what the fuck happened to my life. I wasn't good enough, and i don't even want to feel better, not without her. I don't even want to be alive, i can't begin to stomach the thought of her with another guy, i can't even imagine not talking to her for more than a week, fuck. I will do whatever it takes but god i can't take this too long.
i ended up not being good enough, for any of them. They judged me, and influenced, they flagged me and sentanced me to death. I did everything i could, i loved the best i knew how, I stuck through everything for love, and i made my mistakes. My mistakes prooved too severe and now the one person i loved more than anyone else in the world is gone. so fast, without warning, gone. What happened to loving the good and the bad, what happened to loving through flaws and mistakes. what did i do? I am in hell. i can't eat, i can't sleep, i can't find joy in anything, my friends give me solace but as soon as i am alone againg i can't control the meloncholy, It feels so unjust, so fucked up, and at the same time i partially understand what she needs, but how did she stop so fast, there has to be something more, something i'm missing, what the fuck happened to my life. I literaly listened to her voice telling me she loved me in the way only she knew how, and i am now I am cut off from that voice completely? How the fuck am I supposed to live through this, I don't even want to, The crime just does not seem just with the punishement. I never hit, I never cursed her, i did lose my temper, but for christ's sake, everyone does. Things got out of hand, but we reconciled it, we talked and held eachother and cried we made up! What the fuck happened to my life. I am not perfect but i did everything i could, I am willing to do what it takes, but i cant just cut her out of my life for a month, I can't god please, there's too much, everything in my life reminds me of her, it's not even real to me, i want to be in her room watching a movie on her computer, tickling her god this isn't real this isn't fucking real what the FUCK. I said somthing i never should have said, i was not in a solid state, which is no excuse but dear god Can a man not make a mistake with out being crucified. We found the problems to the fights, we needed space we took space and it was amazing, we found our roots we knew what we needed to do to continue growing together, GONE, where did it go, what the fuck happened to my life. I wasn't good enough, and i don't even want to feel better, not without her. I don't even want to be alive, i can't begin to stomach the thought of her with another guy, i can't even imagine not talking to her for more than a week, fuck. I will do whatever it takes but god i can't take this too long.