water onto my fire
So lets see..Its 1 in the morning. Have an interview in 10 hours. It calculates to around noon. At some retarded coffee place. Coffee exchange to be exact. Not excited about it but its a job. I don't like money but I am in need of it. Planning on moving out of this house in 4 months. With my brother joey. I know its amusing. Guess it all depends on him. He is thinking about moving back in with the parents. And that would suck. Because I would have to move out on my own. And I am ok with that just means more money. I don't like the atmosphere in the house. I literally don't talk to the parents. And I guess they are not liking me here. Atleast thats the impression they leave with my sis. Carolyne tells me mom talks shit about me all the time when she comes over. Plus I have lost alot of respect for mom. Of course I love her. But the respect just isn't there. So yeah. Moving. Want to stay in Tucson. Because I like it here. Its not as bad as people think. But I think thats because Tucson can be a lonely place. Something about it can make you feel lonely. And the music sucks here. It could be better. I like the foosball scene here. I would definitely miss it if I left. Plus my sister and brother in law and nephews are here. They are the ones I really consider family. Everyone else seems to busy with their stuff. Carolyne and Daniel are just as busy but they still include me. If I leave Tucson I am not sure where I would go. I have ideas. But don't really know what I would do.
Seems like I have been getting in that kind of conversation alot lately. With myself and other people. Love & Respect. I remember when I had both in a girlfriend. And even a friend. Lately well I have not found that in a girlfriend since then. And a friend well. And really I only had one girlfriend for a couple on months since that. I feel like I am losing it. Don't feel like its there much anymore. Only from a very select few people. Like my sister Carolyne. Her husbund Daniel. My soul brother Jake. With them I feel its mutual. And maybe thats it. Its that its mutual love and respect. I could tell them anything and not fear being judged. They are very understanding. I would like to have this quality in a relationship. But just haven't found anyone that I am sure of. I haven't really been searching for it either lately. I guess I will just have to wait and use the rock star stance. Where the women come to you. Lol. I dunno. I think it would be nice to have. Someone who is caring, understanding, and supportive. And has a passion besides the passion for a relationship.
I am getting sick of people telling me I am cute and stuff. Its starting to bug me. And not for the reason that some of you would think. (And that reason is because I think cute really means short!!!!!) Its been getting under my skin seeing how much those adjectives have been being used. Kind of sick of the whole looks and image thing. I don't hate it. But its gets old after awhile. I don't think I am that bad looking at all. All looks are selective anyways. Just annoys me when people compliment me in that way. Mostly because they don't really know me that well. And I don't think complimenting someone that way is not such a great approach to meet them. It can be the reason. But don't fucking say it. But I guess alot of people like that. Im just not one of them. When you get to know me more I have more of a tolerance. I bite my tougne either way I guess. Not one to go out of control and make a scene over something like that.
Have till october to make a neat song. A guy sent me an email about a cd he wants to make of local musicians in Tucson. Figured it couldn't hurt to make something for him to see if he wants to use it. Keep my head on track a lil. Plus it would lead to a gig in the future.
Well thats all for now. I wasted enough time and cleared enough off my mind I will be able to get an hour of sleep before I have to wake up and take mom to work. Hope everyone is doing ok. Rayleen, Tiff, Jake, Sammie, Shaun, Stella, Jennie. You guys have a good day.
Seems like I have been getting in that kind of conversation alot lately. With myself and other people. Love & Respect. I remember when I had both in a girlfriend. And even a friend. Lately well I have not found that in a girlfriend since then. And a friend well. And really I only had one girlfriend for a couple on months since that. I feel like I am losing it. Don't feel like its there much anymore. Only from a very select few people. Like my sister Carolyne. Her husbund Daniel. My soul brother Jake. With them I feel its mutual. And maybe thats it. Its that its mutual love and respect. I could tell them anything and not fear being judged. They are very understanding. I would like to have this quality in a relationship. But just haven't found anyone that I am sure of. I haven't really been searching for it either lately. I guess I will just have to wait and use the rock star stance. Where the women come to you. Lol. I dunno. I think it would be nice to have. Someone who is caring, understanding, and supportive. And has a passion besides the passion for a relationship.
I am getting sick of people telling me I am cute and stuff. Its starting to bug me. And not for the reason that some of you would think. (And that reason is because I think cute really means short!!!!!) Its been getting under my skin seeing how much those adjectives have been being used. Kind of sick of the whole looks and image thing. I don't hate it. But its gets old after awhile. I don't think I am that bad looking at all. All looks are selective anyways. Just annoys me when people compliment me in that way. Mostly because they don't really know me that well. And I don't think complimenting someone that way is not such a great approach to meet them. It can be the reason. But don't fucking say it. But I guess alot of people like that. Im just not one of them. When you get to know me more I have more of a tolerance. I bite my tougne either way I guess. Not one to go out of control and make a scene over something like that.
Have till october to make a neat song. A guy sent me an email about a cd he wants to make of local musicians in Tucson. Figured it couldn't hurt to make something for him to see if he wants to use it. Keep my head on track a lil. Plus it would lead to a gig in the future.
Well thats all for now. I wasted enough time and cleared enough off my mind I will be able to get an hour of sleep before I have to wake up and take mom to work. Hope everyone is doing ok. Rayleen, Tiff, Jake, Sammie, Shaun, Stella, Jennie. You guys have a good day.