And will you tell all your friends you got your gun to my head.
"My secret died with her. Only she knew. I still know. But the only thing I can do is remember. I remember the words we shared. The vow. The rain crashed down. It was a blanket covering us from the world. Sounds of a million beats trampling down. Except for the moment when nature slowed down and the beats of water turned into a single rhythm so I can hear her secret. But it was more than that. I could see it in her eyes. In her smile. Everyday after that night. I look at her and I see it. It made her more beautiful in a way I couldn't understand. I never could understand. I looked for an answer to this lucid question. What is it about her? All I found was that I love her. There is nothing better to describe it. Every little portion, every mood, every tone of her voice I loved. There was nothing she could of done to destroy that truth."
Kinda wierd. I have been looking through all the files on my desktop and found some old logs, lyrics, poems, and just personal journals that I didn't know I still had. I found this in one of the journals. Funny thing is that I remember that exact moment I wrote this. And I even remember the exact moment in time that was being written about. Good memories. But boy was I wrong with what I said.LOL. She did destroy that truth. Or the emotions were true but she didn't like the idea. She is stoping by tomorrow I believe. Steph that is. Its been a long while since we saw eachother. Plus I would have to say I would never go out of my way to see her either. lol. But you all know that.
Lately I have been relishing in alot of good memories. Not sure what started it. But its been nice. I miss those times. But thats why we make good times. There are few times in highschool that I wish I appreciated more. Then when I dropped out. THere are alot of good times that I miss. Maybe its just that lifestyle I miss. It was alot more simple then. And it was hard. I kinda miss that. When all I had to think about was making a living, supporting my loving relationship, and music. Sure it was hard. But it also felt like I was living. I was feeling life. It was so good.
Not sure if I had alot of distractions then or maybe didn't really need to be distracted from myself at all. OR could be that I was a real stupid kid that didn't realize certain things that I do now. I would have to say I am alot smarter than I was. But not enough to have an ego about it. Im scared more now than ever. But thats because my mind is good at eating myself inside out when I am just around the house waiting for whats next. I have been using anime and cartoons and music and books to distract me. But those can only work for so long. And they usually interact with my imagination and curiosity about life and its many puzzles. I can't complain too much about it. Because half of me enjoys it. I love a good ponder. I also like to cuddle. But finding someone good to cuddle with is alot harder than pondering.
-David-
Kinda wierd. I have been looking through all the files on my desktop and found some old logs, lyrics, poems, and just personal journals that I didn't know I still had. I found this in one of the journals. Funny thing is that I remember that exact moment I wrote this. And I even remember the exact moment in time that was being written about. Good memories. But boy was I wrong with what I said.LOL. She did destroy that truth. Or the emotions were true but she didn't like the idea. She is stoping by tomorrow I believe. Steph that is. Its been a long while since we saw eachother. Plus I would have to say I would never go out of my way to see her either. lol. But you all know that.
Lately I have been relishing in alot of good memories. Not sure what started it. But its been nice. I miss those times. But thats why we make good times. There are few times in highschool that I wish I appreciated more. Then when I dropped out. THere are alot of good times that I miss. Maybe its just that lifestyle I miss. It was alot more simple then. And it was hard. I kinda miss that. When all I had to think about was making a living, supporting my loving relationship, and music. Sure it was hard. But it also felt like I was living. I was feeling life. It was so good.
Not sure if I had alot of distractions then or maybe didn't really need to be distracted from myself at all. OR could be that I was a real stupid kid that didn't realize certain things that I do now. I would have to say I am alot smarter than I was. But not enough to have an ego about it. Im scared more now than ever. But thats because my mind is good at eating myself inside out when I am just around the house waiting for whats next. I have been using anime and cartoons and music and books to distract me. But those can only work for so long. And they usually interact with my imagination and curiosity about life and its many puzzles. I can't complain too much about it. Because half of me enjoys it. I love a good ponder. I also like to cuddle. But finding someone good to cuddle with is alot harder than pondering.
-David-