Mysterium Tremendum - Laird Barron
Novella
Number of words : 22600
Percent of complex words : 9.6
Average syllables per word : 1.5
Average words per sentence : 11.3
READABILITY INDICES
Fog : 8.4
Flesch : 67.3
Flesch-Kincaid : 6.7
PEOPLE
Willem
An article writer.
Glenn
His lover. Junior partner at a software development firm that hadn't quite been obliterated by the dot-com implosion.
Victor
Stocky and bald and decidedly non-violent. A rich poetry editor. Dane's husband.
Dane
Managed telecommunications and advertising for the Denver Broncos. A rugged blond with a flattened nose and cauliflower ears from amateur boxing matches and tavern brawls. Victor's husband.
Bruce Campbell
An actor.
Billy Collins
A poet.
Charles Simic
A poet.
Mark Stran
A poet.
Stevie Wonder
A singer.
Graham Greene
An author.
Dr Berman
A professor at Central Washington University. Used to own the Black Guide.
Rose
An individual from Ellensburg with a strange journal.
Thomas
A strange friend of Glenn, Dane and Victor's, now dead. Black Irish.
Michael Bolton
A crappy pop singer.
Max
A friend of Glenn, Dane and Victor's. Involved in a glass coffee table shagging accident.
Becky Rimmer
Max's rich girlfriend.
Takashi Miike
A movie director.
Boris Kalamov
Smarmy eighteenth-century charlatan who faked his academic credentials. Also has a dolmen.
Ex-librarian
Doesn't give much good advice.
Marty Robbins
A singer.
Ginsberg and Kerouac; Johnny Cash and Natalie Wood. Lee Van fucking Cleef
People in Victor's dreams about Tom.
Raymond Carver
An author.
Leland and Portia Teller
Run a B&B in Sequim.
Boris Karloff
An actor.
Burt
Willem's new partner in New York.
MEDIA
Jenkins' Field Guide to Birds of Puget Sound
Avian reference for a small area of Washington State.
Moderor de Caliginis
The Black Guide. A strange almanac.
Army of Darkness
A Bruce Campbell movie.
Ebony and Ivory
A Stevie Wonder song.
Beethoven, Chopin, Gershwin, Sibelius
Classical music.
Neil Sedaka, Miles Davis, and Linda Ronstadt
Pop music.
History Channel
A cable tv network.
An American Werewolf in London
A movie.
The Essential Victor Hugo
The Blackmore translation. A book.
Athos and Porthos
Two of the three Musketeers.
Cool Water and Big Iron
Marty Robbins songs.
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
A movie, also a novel by Suskind.
Dolemite
A movie.
The Golden Bough
An occult book.
Dr Faustus
Devil dealer.
PLACES
Burgess Shale
A fossil field in the Canadian Rocky Mountains.
Washington State
In Northwestern USA.
Magnolia
Suburb of Seattle.
Walla Walla
Town in Washington State.
Olympic Peninsula
In Washington State.
Mount Vernon
In Washington State.
Tacoma Museum of Glass
In Tacoma.
Olympia
Capital of Washington State.
Sequim
Town with a Lavender Festival. Near the Dungeness River at the heart of a shallow basin of the Dungeness-Sequim Valley.
Centralia
In Washington State. Has a hotel with seances.
Mystery Mountain
Has a National Park. Also has a dolmen.
The Angry Norseman
A pub.
Klallam River
Watercourse near where the ancient Klallam tribes lived.
Kalamov Caverns
Cavern site near Mystery Mountain National Park.
The Kalamov Dolmen
Named after Dr. Boris Kalamov, who discovered it in 1849,
Mystery Mountain National Park
At Mystery Mountain.
The Flintlock Hotel
A brick and plaster building set back from Capitol Boulevard between a floral shop and an antique furniture store. Established in 1895.
Juniper Dunes
Creepy place in Washington State.
The Mima mounds
Creepy place in Washington State.
Cascades
A mountain range.
Sarcobatus Tavern
A bar full of frat boys to beat up.
Ciudad Juarez
Site of a cantina shootout in Mexico.
Cancun
Tourist city in Mexico.
Rainier
City in Washington.
Kosovo
Disputed Balkan territory.
Pacific Northwest
Term for a region of the USA.
Stonehenge
An ancient monument in England. There's a fake in Eastern Washington.
Harborview Hospital
Near Mystery Mountain.
Mojave
Desert in Southern California.
Ozarks
A highland region between Missouri and Arkansas in the USA.
Kingston
A town in New York.
ANIMALS
Daulton
An old tomcat.
ORGANISATIONS
Denver Broncos
A professional football team.
Parker Brothers
A boardgame manufacturer.
University of Washington
In Washington State.
Washington State University Cougars
A college sports team.
Rite Aid
Convenience store chain.
Triple-A
American version of the Royal Automobile Association.
CONCEPTS
Proposition Eight
Overturned the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals and rebanned gay marriage in California.
Ouija board
Device for receiving messages from the dead.
Baba Yaga
Russian witch.
FOOD
Margarita
A tequila ridden cocktail.
Cuervo
Tequila.
Dewar's
A scotch.
Stoli
Vodka.
Warm Natty
A sucky beer.
Laphroaig
Single malt Islay scotch.
Fruit cocktail
Tinned dessert.
Canned hash
Cheap meat.
Chili
Hot casserole.
TECHNOLOGY
Kools
Bad cigarettes.
Ibuprofen
Painkiller headache tablets.
VEHICLES
Land Rover
A four wheel drive. Glenn's was a rattletrap, sky-blue hulk.
RACES
Neanderthals
Ancestors of humans.
PLOT
Two couples - four friends, are taking a carousing camping holiday through parts of Washington State. Willem has acquired a strange tome, the Moderor de Caliginis which gives details of some rather strange places. They also suffer strange visits from a dead friend.
After managing sex, drugs, booze, and something approaching rock and roll if you squint a lot along with a large helping of violence, they decide to continue their odyssey. And avoid the cops.
This involves taking a dodgy road up Mystery Mountain to the site of the Kalamov Dolmen and Caverns. A site that really doesn't look like it belongs in the USA. Neither do ruins, idols and tentacled horrors.
They get the hell out, some faster and with less damage than others, and are actually pleased to see the police.
Willem and Glenn are at home, when another visitor appears in creepy monster fashion: Rose, wanting to take them both back to her world.
Willem declines, and heads for the other side of the country, and starts living with Burt. Where he waits with loaded gun and glass for another inevitable visit from one of the departed.
4 out of 5
Number of words : 22600
Percent of complex words : 9.6
Average syllables per word : 1.5
Average words per sentence : 11.3
READABILITY INDICES
Fog : 8.4
Flesch : 67.3
Flesch-Kincaid : 6.7
PEOPLE
Willem
An article writer.
Glenn
His lover. Junior partner at a software development firm that hadn't quite been obliterated by the dot-com implosion.
Victor
Stocky and bald and decidedly non-violent. A rich poetry editor. Dane's husband.
Dane
Managed telecommunications and advertising for the Denver Broncos. A rugged blond with a flattened nose and cauliflower ears from amateur boxing matches and tavern brawls. Victor's husband.
Bruce Campbell
An actor.
Billy Collins
A poet.
Charles Simic
A poet.
Mark Stran
A poet.
Stevie Wonder
A singer.
Graham Greene
An author.
Dr Berman
A professor at Central Washington University. Used to own the Black Guide.
Rose
An individual from Ellensburg with a strange journal.
Thomas
A strange friend of Glenn, Dane and Victor's, now dead. Black Irish.
Michael Bolton
A crappy pop singer.
Max
A friend of Glenn, Dane and Victor's. Involved in a glass coffee table shagging accident.
Becky Rimmer
Max's rich girlfriend.
Takashi Miike
A movie director.
Boris Kalamov
Smarmy eighteenth-century charlatan who faked his academic credentials. Also has a dolmen.
Ex-librarian
Doesn't give much good advice.
Marty Robbins
A singer.
Ginsberg and Kerouac; Johnny Cash and Natalie Wood. Lee Van fucking Cleef
People in Victor's dreams about Tom.
Raymond Carver
An author.
Leland and Portia Teller
Run a B&B in Sequim.
Boris Karloff
An actor.
Burt
Willem's new partner in New York.
MEDIA
Jenkins' Field Guide to Birds of Puget Sound
Avian reference for a small area of Washington State.
Moderor de Caliginis
The Black Guide. A strange almanac.
Army of Darkness
A Bruce Campbell movie.
Ebony and Ivory
A Stevie Wonder song.
Beethoven, Chopin, Gershwin, Sibelius
Classical music.
Neil Sedaka, Miles Davis, and Linda Ronstadt
Pop music.
History Channel
A cable tv network.
An American Werewolf in London
A movie.
The Essential Victor Hugo
The Blackmore translation. A book.
Athos and Porthos
Two of the three Musketeers.
Cool Water and Big Iron
Marty Robbins songs.
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
A movie, also a novel by Suskind.
Dolemite
A movie.
The Golden Bough
An occult book.
Dr Faustus
Devil dealer.
PLACES
Burgess Shale
A fossil field in the Canadian Rocky Mountains.
Washington State
In Northwestern USA.
Magnolia
Suburb of Seattle.
Walla Walla
Town in Washington State.
Olympic Peninsula
In Washington State.
Mount Vernon
In Washington State.
Tacoma Museum of Glass
In Tacoma.
Olympia
Capital of Washington State.
Sequim
Town with a Lavender Festival. Near the Dungeness River at the heart of a shallow basin of the Dungeness-Sequim Valley.
Centralia
In Washington State. Has a hotel with seances.
Mystery Mountain
Has a National Park. Also has a dolmen.
The Angry Norseman
A pub.
Klallam River
Watercourse near where the ancient Klallam tribes lived.
Kalamov Caverns
Cavern site near Mystery Mountain National Park.
The Kalamov Dolmen
Named after Dr. Boris Kalamov, who discovered it in 1849,
Mystery Mountain National Park
At Mystery Mountain.
The Flintlock Hotel
A brick and plaster building set back from Capitol Boulevard between a floral shop and an antique furniture store. Established in 1895.
Juniper Dunes
Creepy place in Washington State.
The Mima mounds
Creepy place in Washington State.
Cascades
A mountain range.
Sarcobatus Tavern
A bar full of frat boys to beat up.
Ciudad Juarez
Site of a cantina shootout in Mexico.
Cancun
Tourist city in Mexico.
Rainier
City in Washington.
Kosovo
Disputed Balkan territory.
Pacific Northwest
Term for a region of the USA.
Stonehenge
An ancient monument in England. There's a fake in Eastern Washington.
Harborview Hospital
Near Mystery Mountain.
Mojave
Desert in Southern California.
Ozarks
A highland region between Missouri and Arkansas in the USA.
Kingston
A town in New York.
ANIMALS
Daulton
An old tomcat.
ORGANISATIONS
Denver Broncos
A professional football team.
Parker Brothers
A boardgame manufacturer.
University of Washington
In Washington State.
Washington State University Cougars
A college sports team.
Rite Aid
Convenience store chain.
Triple-A
American version of the Royal Automobile Association.
CONCEPTS
Proposition Eight
Overturned the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals and rebanned gay marriage in California.
Ouija board
Device for receiving messages from the dead.
Baba Yaga
Russian witch.
FOOD
Margarita
A tequila ridden cocktail.
Cuervo
Tequila.
Dewar's
A scotch.
Stoli
Vodka.
Warm Natty
A sucky beer.
Laphroaig
Single malt Islay scotch.
Fruit cocktail
Tinned dessert.
Canned hash
Cheap meat.
Chili
Hot casserole.
TECHNOLOGY
Kools
Bad cigarettes.
Ibuprofen
Painkiller headache tablets.
VEHICLES
Land Rover
A four wheel drive. Glenn's was a rattletrap, sky-blue hulk.
RACES
Neanderthals
Ancestors of humans.
PLOT
Two couples - four friends, are taking a carousing camping holiday through parts of Washington State. Willem has acquired a strange tome, the Moderor de Caliginis which gives details of some rather strange places. They also suffer strange visits from a dead friend.
After managing sex, drugs, booze, and something approaching rock and roll if you squint a lot along with a large helping of violence, they decide to continue their odyssey. And avoid the cops.
This involves taking a dodgy road up Mystery Mountain to the site of the Kalamov Dolmen and Caverns. A site that really doesn't look like it belongs in the USA. Neither do ruins, idols and tentacled horrors.
They get the hell out, some faster and with less damage than others, and are actually pleased to see the police.
Willem and Glenn are at home, when another visitor appears in creepy monster fashion: Rose, wanting to take them both back to her world.
Willem declines, and heads for the other side of the country, and starts living with Burt. Where he waits with loaded gun and glass for another inevitable visit from one of the departed.
4 out of 5