Dude
Dude... 3 days til in a public school again, its been so fucking long. How long do you think it'll be before I get the shit beat outta me or get kicked out(again). My little brother spent the night at my grandmas house you know what that means, we got to smoke our weed tonight. Very much so needed. Extreamly stressful past few days.
I dont know what I want to be anymore when I get older, Im sick of everyone asking me too. I mean I got like a trillion years til Im old. And yeah. Lately it seems Im liveing to die and nothing more. Everything is a lie. Everything when it comes down to it is a lie. But thats life right? One lie after the next. FAllowed by many disapointments. Oh well fuck em. Cuz Im almost out. I have no fuckin idea what happened to me or all my dreams but theyre not what they used to be anymore. Nothing is as it seems to be. Everything is diffrent from how I see it. (If that makes any sence at all). Im tired of people telling me they understand when they really dont. I feel like Im begining to push people away. If I am Im sorry and I know you dont really understand any of this right now, but I still wanna be your friends. Everythings fuzzy and it feels like Im fading. Im getting more pissed off everyday. I feel like Im the only one in the world who knows what its like to feel this way. Im pissed off and Im depressed. I have no motavtion for anything anymore. Little things never used to bother me and now they seem like theyre matters of life and death.
I thought I changed. I thought I didnt believe in suicide. But if thats the only thing that feels right, why should I wait. To everyone out there Im sorry. I know you dont really care and I know none of you ever really did. Forgive me, forgive me not but Im sorry, your all faceless and your begining to die. Im thinking now of ways to do it.
Until my last breath, Im still yours... I never lied about loving you. I just cant express how much I love you in words. I know you dont understand either, although Im sure you would like to believe you do. But you cant change me no matter how hard you try. I love you so fucking much it hurts. I wake up everymorrning and tell myself I dont love you, but then I talk to you and I love you even more. Everything is clear when I think about you. Your the only thing keeping me alive right now... And your not even mine... Until the end... I love you with all my heart and soul
I dont know what I want to be anymore when I get older, Im sick of everyone asking me too. I mean I got like a trillion years til Im old. And yeah. Lately it seems Im liveing to die and nothing more. Everything is a lie. Everything when it comes down to it is a lie. But thats life right? One lie after the next. FAllowed by many disapointments. Oh well fuck em. Cuz Im almost out. I have no fuckin idea what happened to me or all my dreams but theyre not what they used to be anymore. Nothing is as it seems to be. Everything is diffrent from how I see it. (If that makes any sence at all). Im tired of people telling me they understand when they really dont. I feel like Im begining to push people away. If I am Im sorry and I know you dont really understand any of this right now, but I still wanna be your friends. Everythings fuzzy and it feels like Im fading. Im getting more pissed off everyday. I feel like Im the only one in the world who knows what its like to feel this way. Im pissed off and Im depressed. I have no motavtion for anything anymore. Little things never used to bother me and now they seem like theyre matters of life and death.
I thought I changed. I thought I didnt believe in suicide. But if thats the only thing that feels right, why should I wait. To everyone out there Im sorry. I know you dont really care and I know none of you ever really did. Forgive me, forgive me not but Im sorry, your all faceless and your begining to die. Im thinking now of ways to do it.
Until my last breath, Im still yours... I never lied about loving you. I just cant express how much I love you in words. I know you dont understand either, although Im sure you would like to believe you do. But you cant change me no matter how hard you try. I love you so fucking much it hurts. I wake up everymorrning and tell myself I dont love you, but then I talk to you and I love you even more. Everything is clear when I think about you. Your the only thing keeping me alive right now... And your not even mine... Until the end... I love you with all my heart and soul