(no subject)

[bluesatinpixie]

sometimes i wonder ..... just what my life would be like if I didn't have to overthink everything ..... if i could just blindly believe ..... believe that this time it's for real .... this time promises aren't meant to be broken .... this time it won't be living a lie .... and yeah part of me knows that ... this is completely different ... and i know that ... but still .... i overthink .... but this is different .... he isn't "hiding me" ... in fact he's the total opposite my boy loves nothing more than showing the whole world that he loves me and that i'm his .... and i hate that i am overthinking things ... and i know exactly why i am and it pisses me off ..... it's like watching a bad actress portray your life .... except that you never got to live that life ... it was taken from you and given to someone else ... and all i was left with was promises of "un-dying" and "true" love .... i'm afraid that this will end up like that too .... that this'll end and all i'll have left are those broken promises

and i know that i only feel like this cuz i'm PMSing and i need a hug and a kiss from the boy that hasn't let me down yet, and i can't have that for another 2 weeks .... and it sucks .... oh well like he keeps telling me, this makes us stronger ... now all i need to do is have a little faith .... not hard for me .... that just happens to be one of my specialties