*sigh*

[bluesatinpixie]

I feel like going into hibernation again .... I'm just so worn out and tired .... yes I've been cranky/on edge lately ... wouldn't you be too if these things were happening to you??? ... With everything else that's going on in my life right now I just don't have the energy to listen to the lies/half truths/ and just plain bullshit you boys keep telling me! .... I'm sick of this cynical outlook I've gained lately ... and I'm SICK of the fact that I have it because you boys just can't stop lying! ... I know it's complete bullshit, so why do you even bother? blah blah blah.... you're breaking up with her and want me ... blah blah blah ... yeah right! sorry ... but if it was true you'd already have left her and would be doing whatever you could think of to get me back! .... I told one boy the other night I'm still waiting for my damn rose ... and ya know what?? no one is getting this here chica until I get one ... and that's what I've decided .. yeah it's cliche but ya know what? I'm sick of being the nice girl that waits around or UNDERSTANDS .... fuck that! I don't understand anymore ... it seems that in order to get a guy to be sweet and semi-romantic you need to be a bitch?? I hate that and I won't become that ... but I'm done with the overly nice routine ... good job guys! you've finally made me not believe anymore ....

I really need to just get away from this all .... too bad my only escape involves more half-truths and sneaking around ....