seriously, i feel like i'm dying

[bluepolystyrene]

I think my throat might close up and then I won't be able to breathe and I'll be choking for air. I barely slept last night because I was afraid I might die from suffocation or something. I don't know why I get sick all of the fucking time, but here I am again--writhing in pain and staying as medicated as possible. The best part about this is I'm leaving for a week long vacation to the beach today. I've been looking forward to it for months but now I don't even know if I want to go. I think I'd probably be a total bitch to everyone else for not being sick and enjoying the sun. Those mother fuckers!

Here I go back to the hell known as the couch to try and withstand the muscular spasms radiating throughout my entire body. Maybe my doctor will just give me an IV full of morphine to bring along with me to the beach. Hook me up to that and I'll be one happy fucking camper.

((excuse my excessive use of the F word. I just can't help it right now))