Getting this gut feeling…..
Originally published at ~+>Blue's Journal. Please leave any comments there.
Do you know when you get that feeling when you just know something doesn’t feel right?
I have been quite anxious while @ work lately because of being written up for performance after coming off vacation, also 3 good people i know at work were terminated while i was gone…
Last week’s events are still resonating clearly in my head and I haven’t spoken to John much in the past several days (This is quite normal really, but i really miss talking to him because of said events)…
I am a having trouble dealing with going out to Splash because of someone slipping something into my drink several weeks ago…
I came to the realization besides 2 or 3 people i see on occasion, and my roomates, i really don’t have an friends in town, only business colleuges…
I am usually quite capable of taking care of myself and issues that come up in my life, but for once i have a string of things that have come together i have never faced before and its a bit overwhelming….
For once i am so paranoid about the decisions i am make i have been cooped up in my bedroom for afraid of being hurt… I feel like a cornered cat that is about to be put in a kennel:I have so much energy balled up with no where to escape to…Feeling alone, anxious, without an avenue to deal with my issues or release valve with a way to do something without feeling vulnerable…
I am not sure exactly what to do….. some of the few things i love to do i am having much trouble trying to get off my ass and do cause i don’t want to feel like i have recently or because i might feel hurt or empty. Its no excuse as to not doing what i love to do, but i am at a loss of energy to stand against myself. The dark side is winning….
I am going to go driving…. one of the few things i can do and not be afraid of what may happen…
~+>Blue