Post #415 - Working Through Common Obsticles
Originally published at ~+>Blue's Journal. Please leave any comments there.
I spent most of Saturday working in my bedroom on homework for my correspondence class. John woke up late (4:00 in the afternoon) and drove to Centerville; I left Baton Rouge @ 7:30 and we both got there around 9:15p. John’s Dad, John, and I went for dinner in Morgan City, Then to Wal-Mart in Bayou Vista. Oh! One quick thing, John’s dad recently moved to a new lot and lives in a new trailer (John’s sister trailer). We got back to John’s Dad’s house & helped him unpack and clean.
So John and I had a lil talk again; lately when John and I have seen each other we’ve had some little discussions and It’s been quite insightful. He has been helping me deal with things in life that bug me, especially when I can’t look at things objectively.
One the that always got to me was how work/life/events always seem to be an uphill battle, like there always is a problem. We had a little talk a little bit about work, and some people over the past year and he helped me see how I approach what I’m presented with. Many times I over-react (not necessarily bad, but enough to bring on more strife than due for said given condition). Dealing with my rush of emotions sometimes I get caught up without taking a step back, and if I just took a second to think it might be a little easier.
Also, while finishing up for the night (sometime around 4:30a Sunday morning), one little remark I made also brought to our attention how I never fully realize how well I do things in life. I always feel like I don’t do as well or that I don’t look/feel as good as most people think. I have always thought of it as me being modest or allowing someone to feel as if they have or do something better than me. I also see that it can hinder some of the simple things I do in life such as my performance at work because I don’t allow myself the credit I am do or when I am trying to get to know to someone because I won’t be open to their view of me when complimented or described.
Really when I look at things I do in life overall I am doing very well, better than I let myself see. I have many long term goals that I am working for, but sometimes my shortsightedness causes me some undue stress. I think that’s what John is trying to show me. I am a stubborn fool who many times lets petty things gets in the way of what i want to do. With some guidance I am making progress outside of my little mind trap.
Honestly, John has done a lot for me, in many more ways than I understand @ times. For me to realize that it means hes has some impact, that he is getting through somehow. Sometimes I wish I had him around more, but I also realize I need to do some of this on my own if I am going to develop further. Ultimately however, it is the work that I put in and the little “course corrections” he puts in that is going to help me. There is something I am after in life right now that is unclear, I am working for something that hasn’t been fully defined just yet, but the path is being drawn it’s only for time to tell.
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There are a few things I am going to try to get back into again, some old habits I wish I didn’t leave behind. My budget, weekly planner for school lessons, using my phone to remind me of things I need to do, and also start looking up at myself again. I’ve come a long way to let myself think that I am stagnate and incapable of things.
~+>Blue