I don’t understand…..
Originally published at ~+>Blue's Journal. Please leave any comments there.
I am stting in Houston right now, John has been sick and needed a favor so i offered to help him out….
So in sitting here I got a few things done, some assignments for my IS class @ LSU, Copied some CDs from John, and watched a lil TV…
Before i go into a lil detail about some events that happend today, let me give a lil background about someone.
For those of your who don’t know me, Tim and I dated in 2005. We spilt up over a number of lil things, including some descons i made he didn’t like. During the time he and I dated I did bring him to Silsbee to meet my family; I also introduced him to some HS friends and we went to the beach during Memorial Day weekend that year. We split in Dec. 2005, almost to the day 19 months ago, after the first we weeks after we split, i don’t talk to him much but on a rare occasion. He has a b/f who he been dating for a lil over a year now; Tim lives in Lafayette now.
Over the past 19 months i have come to find out Tim has been talking to my grand mother via eMail and on occasion on the phone. He has also visited my family 2 times since we split, including once with his current b/f. Now, keep in mind We split up in 2005, I don’t talk to or see his family, i haven’t run into or seen anyone since we split up.
During this last week he happend to stopby and visit my family and even some HS freinds of mine I havn’t see in forever. A lil red flag came up in my head, “Why is he doing this?” I don’t wnat to say i have an excuse for everything i do, but ther are some facts in life that give some explination to my behavior. I work 7a to 6p Monday to Friday most days, after 11 hrs being on the phone with ppl i don’t want to spend anymore than i have to. I also have classwork i for for my Independant Study @ LSU, as well as stdying for Electrical and Telephone Standards @ work as i am trying to advance my carrer. My weekend are usually full of doing laundry, sorting mail, claening up, and trying tot have a lil bit of a social life. I have made quite a number of trips to Houston on my weekends off to see John, just to get away from life, and also to get a few personal goals done. Overall i work hard for alot of things, while i wish i had more time in the day to get all the things done i would like to, unfortunatly i am limited to what my body allows.
Now onto today, I had this conversation with Tim:
- avciugroar (7/29/2007 12:27:54 PM): hey
Alex Balla (7/29/2007 12:43:53 PM): hi
avciugroar (7/29/2007 12:47:04 PM): i’ve noticed that you always have an uncanny ability to stop responding to my messages at your convienence
Alex Balla (7/29/2007 12:47:19 PM): ?
Alex Balla (7/29/2007 12:48:08 PM): WTF is that all about
avciugroar (7/29/2007 12:49:36 PM): avciugroar (7/28/2007 12:11:35 PM): i may be out there in a little while bluepoint951 (7/28/2007 12:15:52 PM): whats out here? avciugroar (7/28/2007 12:16:17 PM): baton rouge bluepoint951 (7/28/2007 12:16:07 PM): lol avciugroar (7/28/2007 12:16:27 PM): duh bluepoint951 (7/28/2007 12:18:11 PM): i know that bluepoint951 (7/28/2007 12:18:39 PM): what bring you here? avciugroar (7/28/2007 12:19:25 PM): i dont know i just feel like going… tim’s working today avciugroar (7/28/2007 12:19:43 PM): i feel like walking around the mall or doing something but i dont wanna do it alone
avciugroar (7/29/2007 12:49:41 PM): and then you never responded
avciugroar (7/29/2007 12:50:01 PM): then you responded to my text that i sent before, but when i asked if u wanted to hang out you never responded
avciugroar (7/29/2007 12:50:23 PM): and this isnt the only occurrence, you’ve done this many other times, not necessarily about the same topic
avciugroar (7/29/2007 12:53:21 PM): did you get all of that?
Alex Balla (7/29/2007 12:55:27 PM): So i became busy… you know i can be @ the computer one minute then gone the next… as for TXTs… sorry…. yesterday was a lil bit of a diffrent day
Alex Balla (7/29/2007 12:57:57 PM): guilty as charged i guess…
avciugroar (7/29/2007 12:58:00 PM): theres always an excuse and its always “im busy” or something like that…. a simple no im busy would have worked just fine, and would have alleviated this conversation, it wouldnt have made me feel like i was dumped in a trash can or stored away somewhere till you needed me again… you know thats what me and nana discussed the other day…. you only call or show up when u need something, and its true… we didnt talk for the longest till you messaged and was nice till the next day when u let me know you needed me to type that letter about brett and merc…. even though u were busy, it takes 20 seconds to send a message back
avciugroar (7/29/2007 12:58:04 PM): im done here
I understand his frustration, yesterday he msged me about him coming into BTR, I however yesterday was busy doing Laundry and organizin paper i wasn’t payingto 100% attention ot my electronics, that and also i left to come to houston yesterday afternoon, i was talking to several people and then had to shut down as i got rdy to make a last minutes trip to Houston for John.