Love Songs
Series: Love Songs.
Title: Baby, I'm Sorry (Part 4.2)
Author: bluemonkiesx
Pairing: GDYB Jiyong/Youngbae.
Genre: varies.
Rating: G
Length: part four of five.
Author's Note: so, I cranked this baby out after having a GDYB dream (no lie). completely unbeta'd because I am horrible and too damn impatient to give everyone this long overdue next part of Love Songs. obtw, it's almost the end Dx
Your eyes widen in shock and your hands start to tremble. He called you, he had actually called you.
And you weren’t awake to answer. Goddamnit, you weren’t awake.
You hurriedly try to call him back, fingers fumbling over the keypad. Maybe he’ll answer, maybe you’ll be able to talk to him, maybe he’ll listen to you finally-
It rings once.
Your heart begins to pound.
It rings twice, three times.
Your heart is thundering in your chest.
It rings four times, and then-
“This is Kwon Jiyong, I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”
Your heart drops as you bring the phone away from your ear. You don’t even bother leaving a message because you know he won’t listen to it. You sigh, you don’t know why you got your hopes up in the first place.
And then your phone beeps, and you look at it in confusion. 1 new voice mail. Your heart skips a beat at the words, and with a shaky hand you bring the phone back to ear to listen.
“Um, hey...Youngbae...I, um. I just...I wanna say...I-I mi-what I mean is...We haven’t talked in a while and I...I-I don’t really know what I’m doing right now. I have to go, bye.”
And the message was abruptly cut off.
You smile, however, as you bring the phone away from your ear. He missed you. He hadn’t said it exactly, but you’re pretty sure he was about to say it. And that made you feel a little better about missing his call. He missed you.
That short message, full of stuttering and hesitation and confusion, gave you hope. Hope that probably shouldn’t still be there, but was there anyways. Hope that maybe...just maybe he still loved you and you still had a chance.
***
It had been two weeks since he had called you and almost admitted to miss you. Two weeks since he had called you and given you a renewed hope. Two whole weeks since he had first called you.
And that hadn’t been the last time he called you, either.
Since that first time, he’s called once a day. Most of the time you’re asleep when he calls, but he always leaves a voice message. One time you tried to catch him, but when you excitedly answered the phone, he immediately hung up. And so you grew to be content with the messages he left.
In the beginning, they were all the same. All of them had the stuttering and hesitation and confusion as the first one. But slowly, there was less stuttering, less hesitation, and less confusion. Gradually, the calls became something like a one-sided conversation.
“Bae, it’s so annoying here. I hate when Seunghyun hyung leaves his shoes all over his apartment. I miss you’re cleanliness,” he pauses to chuckle. “But seriously, I...I really miss you, Youngbaeah.”
You smile as you listen to the latest message he’s left you. He would always say that now, “I miss you.” Always, at the end of each call. And it never fails to make you smile. Never.
***
One morning, in the third week since he’s started calling you, you wake up. You check your phone, expecting there to be a new message,. But you’re saddened to see that there is in fact, no new message. But you shrug it off, thinking that maybe he’ll just call you sometime during the day. This wasn’t the first time he hadn’t called you while you slept.
You get up, throwing on the first clean clothes you find and walk out. You put on your shoes and walk out of the apartment, not really sure where you’re going. You just know that you don’t want to stay in that apartment today.
You walk outside and you see the sunny sky, and you can feel the sun’s warmth. You stretch a little, you haven’t felt this good in who-knows how long.. You shake that thought out of head, and start to walk. Not in any particular direction, just wherever your feet happen to take you.
After a while, you realize that you’ve walked to a nearby beach. You smile slightly as you look out at the bright ocean. It looked so calm with its gently rolling waves splashing against the shore.
You leisurely walk out onto the sand. Halfway between the pavement and ocean, you stop and sit down. You wrap your arms around your knees and rock gently, looking out at the seemingly endless ocean. You sigh contentedly to yourself and look up to the sky, quietly amazed at the wispy white clouds above you.
It feels like deja vu, like you’ve been here and done this before. But not exactly like this. Something happened in this situation before that isn’t happening right now. You just weren’t sure what exactly was missing.
And right at that moment, your cell phone begins to ring, startling you out of your daze. You reach into your pocket and pull it out, looking at the caller ID. And not to your surprise, it’s him.
Kwon Jiyong.
You know that when he calls, you shouldn’t answer the phone. You know that he’ll hang up, and you won’t get to hear his voice. But something is telling you to answer the phone. Something is telling you that it will be alright.
“Hello?” you calmly answer the phone.
“Youngbaeah,” you hear him whisper.
And even though he whispered, you heard his voice so, so, so clearly. Almost as if he was right there with you, and not talking to you from someplace far away. Almost as if he was right there whispering to you.
“Youngbaeah, turn around,” he whispers again.
You drop your phone, and quickly stand up. Still looking, but not really seeing, at the endless ocean. Your hands are shaking at your sides and your heart begins to pump.
You heard his voice, you know it. Not through the phone, but behind you. Kwon Jiyong was right behind you , and you didn’t know what to do or if this was even real.
“Youngbaeah, please,” he pleads, louder this time. And you’re sure now, that he is in fact there with you.
You slowly turn around, head down and hands still shaking. All you can see is the sand beneath your feet and...his obnoxiously bright colored shoes with his too-skinny jeans.
You snap your head up, and there he is. Standing right there in front of you.
“Ji-Jiyong...” you mutter, still in shock.
He gives you a nervous smile and shuffles his foot. “Hey,” he replies softly, eyes looking down. “I...I’m sorry, Youngbae....I-I missed you,” and he looks up, eyes sparkling with tears that are threatening to fall.
Title: Baby, I'm Sorry (Part 4.2)
Author: bluemonkiesx
Pairing: GDYB Jiyong/Youngbae.
Genre: varies.
Rating: G
Length: part four of five.
Author's Note: so, I cranked this baby out after having a GDYB dream (no lie). completely unbeta'd because I am horrible and too damn impatient to give everyone this long overdue next part of Love Songs. obtw, it's almost the end Dx
Your eyes widen in shock and your hands start to tremble. He called you, he had actually called you.
And you weren’t awake to answer. Goddamnit, you weren’t awake.
You hurriedly try to call him back, fingers fumbling over the keypad. Maybe he’ll answer, maybe you’ll be able to talk to him, maybe he’ll listen to you finally-
It rings once.
Your heart begins to pound.
It rings twice, three times.
Your heart is thundering in your chest.
It rings four times, and then-
“This is Kwon Jiyong, I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”
Your heart drops as you bring the phone away from your ear. You don’t even bother leaving a message because you know he won’t listen to it. You sigh, you don’t know why you got your hopes up in the first place.
And then your phone beeps, and you look at it in confusion. 1 new voice mail. Your heart skips a beat at the words, and with a shaky hand you bring the phone back to ear to listen.
“Um, hey...Youngbae...I, um. I just...I wanna say...I-I mi-what I mean is...We haven’t talked in a while and I...I-I don’t really know what I’m doing right now. I have to go, bye.”
And the message was abruptly cut off.
You smile, however, as you bring the phone away from your ear. He missed you. He hadn’t said it exactly, but you’re pretty sure he was about to say it. And that made you feel a little better about missing his call. He missed you.
That short message, full of stuttering and hesitation and confusion, gave you hope. Hope that probably shouldn’t still be there, but was there anyways. Hope that maybe...just maybe he still loved you and you still had a chance.
***
It had been two weeks since he had called you and almost admitted to miss you. Two weeks since he had called you and given you a renewed hope. Two whole weeks since he had first called you.
And that hadn’t been the last time he called you, either.
Since that first time, he’s called once a day. Most of the time you’re asleep when he calls, but he always leaves a voice message. One time you tried to catch him, but when you excitedly answered the phone, he immediately hung up. And so you grew to be content with the messages he left.
In the beginning, they were all the same. All of them had the stuttering and hesitation and confusion as the first one. But slowly, there was less stuttering, less hesitation, and less confusion. Gradually, the calls became something like a one-sided conversation.
“Bae, it’s so annoying here. I hate when Seunghyun hyung leaves his shoes all over his apartment. I miss you’re cleanliness,” he pauses to chuckle. “But seriously, I...I really miss you, Youngbaeah.”
You smile as you listen to the latest message he’s left you. He would always say that now, “I miss you.” Always, at the end of each call. And it never fails to make you smile. Never.
***
One morning, in the third week since he’s started calling you, you wake up. You check your phone, expecting there to be a new message,. But you’re saddened to see that there is in fact, no new message. But you shrug it off, thinking that maybe he’ll just call you sometime during the day. This wasn’t the first time he hadn’t called you while you slept.
You get up, throwing on the first clean clothes you find and walk out. You put on your shoes and walk out of the apartment, not really sure where you’re going. You just know that you don’t want to stay in that apartment today.
You walk outside and you see the sunny sky, and you can feel the sun’s warmth. You stretch a little, you haven’t felt this good in who-knows how long.. You shake that thought out of head, and start to walk. Not in any particular direction, just wherever your feet happen to take you.
After a while, you realize that you’ve walked to a nearby beach. You smile slightly as you look out at the bright ocean. It looked so calm with its gently rolling waves splashing against the shore.
You leisurely walk out onto the sand. Halfway between the pavement and ocean, you stop and sit down. You wrap your arms around your knees and rock gently, looking out at the seemingly endless ocean. You sigh contentedly to yourself and look up to the sky, quietly amazed at the wispy white clouds above you.
It feels like deja vu, like you’ve been here and done this before. But not exactly like this. Something happened in this situation before that isn’t happening right now. You just weren’t sure what exactly was missing.
And right at that moment, your cell phone begins to ring, startling you out of your daze. You reach into your pocket and pull it out, looking at the caller ID. And not to your surprise, it’s him.
Kwon Jiyong.
You know that when he calls, you shouldn’t answer the phone. You know that he’ll hang up, and you won’t get to hear his voice. But something is telling you to answer the phone. Something is telling you that it will be alright.
“Hello?” you calmly answer the phone.
“Youngbaeah,” you hear him whisper.
And even though he whispered, you heard his voice so, so, so clearly. Almost as if he was right there with you, and not talking to you from someplace far away. Almost as if he was right there whispering to you.
“Youngbaeah, turn around,” he whispers again.
You drop your phone, and quickly stand up. Still looking, but not really seeing, at the endless ocean. Your hands are shaking at your sides and your heart begins to pump.
You heard his voice, you know it. Not through the phone, but behind you. Kwon Jiyong was right behind you , and you didn’t know what to do or if this was even real.
“Youngbaeah, please,” he pleads, louder this time. And you’re sure now, that he is in fact there with you.
You slowly turn around, head down and hands still shaking. All you can see is the sand beneath your feet and...his obnoxiously bright colored shoes with his too-skinny jeans.
You snap your head up, and there he is. Standing right there in front of you.
“Ji-Jiyong...” you mutter, still in shock.
He gives you a nervous smile and shuffles his foot. “Hey,” he replies softly, eyes looking down. “I...I’m sorry, Youngbae....I-I missed you,” and he looks up, eyes sparkling with tears that are threatening to fall.