We only want to sing you to sleep in your bedroom speakers
Sometimes parts of bandom really disgust me. Like, I am actually ashamed to be connected to large sections of the fandom right now. I have two gripes, both connected, and both of them make me really angry and saddened.
I have a question to ask you. And, I mean, I have a question that I would like answered. What do you want from these bands? What is it that you expect from them? Because from the amount of bitching that went on (and is still going on) over the announced US FOB tour makes me conclude that the only way the majority of people in this fandom would be remotely happy is if FOB turned up in your house and played you a private, 180 minute set without breaks, with a set list decided upon entirely by the recipient, all for free. And I get the feeling that even then a lot of people would find something to bitch about- too much banter/not enough banter/too much shenanigans/not enough shenanigans/Patrick's pocket hankie was the wrong colour/this iced water is too cold.
Sound ridiculous? Well, yeah. That's how most of the people's reactions I read sounded.
Let me lay this out the way I see it:
Several thousand people (hundred thousand? hundreds of thousands? I really can't be bothered adding it all up) are going to get to see Fall Out Boy (and co, but we'll come to that later) play a show at some point this year. Several BILLION are not. And I know, I know, vast over exaggeration since unfortunately not everyone seems to see the appeal of FOB but the point stands- a lot of people are not lucky enough to be able to go.
I feel bad for people who can't because whoever arranged the tour (and I don't think people grasp how little control over these things bands have, how they try to space it out based on population and previous fan reception and a dozen other reasons that I neither know nor care to worry about) chose a certain route. There is no way for bands to play everywhere. A tour can only last so long. You can only expect bands to perform night after night for a certain number of days. So there is no way for them to play in every city.
I mistakenly skimmed my friendsfriendslist last night, and happened to read an entry where someone, who was planning on seeing the show nearest them, complained there wasn't a show in a neighbouring city the next night and then bemoaned the fact that theyd have to drive a couple of hours to the next state and how awful it was for fob to make her do that.
Ignoring this bizarre concept some people seem to have where PWentz is an evil overlord who will punish them if they refuse to go to every show possible, give him all their money and support every band he supports, I don't understand the extent to which some people are complaining about having to travel what are, really, short distances compared to what many others would have to travel to see the shows.
I'm not trying to sound all 'my life, so hard' here at all, but Fall Out Boy mean a lot to me. A lot. Seeing them last year was one of the best experiences of my life. This 'tour' in March (we get 4 shows in total this time) has been scheduled by someone who seems to think the UK ends at Manchester. But I have decided I want to see them, that travelling is worth it. So a couple of us are undertaking a 6 hour journey from Scotland to England, spending the night there, and then a 5 hour round trip to Wales and back to England on the same day for the show, and then another 6 hours back to Scotland. Another friend is flying in from another country all together to see the show. Is this crazy? Yes, a lot of people seem to think so. Is this totally going to fuck myself over with all the driving? Yes, completely. But is it worth it? To me, 100% yes. So I'm not going to complain about it like some disgusting, entitled brat. Because, at the end of the day, I think I am lucky to be able to see them. So many people can't.
People who live in South and Central America, and Africa and Asia and Oceania and most of Europe seldom get shows at all. Some of them would have to leave their continent to see bands. I grew up in a country where bands would mostly come and play one show, at the most northern most city of one of the islands (in fact, unless I'm wrong, FOB are only playing Auckland, correct? Just like every other band). Australia only gets a handful of dates, and that's one big fucking country. I'm pretty sure if you're east of Germany in Europe, you don't get any shows. Hell, Canada only gets a couple of shows, and Canada is massive. So I am just grateful that they come to this tiny island at all.
I mentioned this to an American friend, back when people were being dicks over another tour- HCT probably, or RBL or YTW or whatever it was- and she said 'It's no excuse, but we sort of just expect shows near us' and she's right- it is no excuse.
I feel bad for people who aren't getting to go to the shows. And I just wish people who can go were more grateful for it.
Now. The tour itself. There is no way they're going to please everyone. They cannot win. If they got all non-bandom bands to open for them, people would say that Pete was neglecting his label/friends/whatever. If they did Decaydancefest: The Tour (which, man, I would love, for the record) people would complain about Pete pushing his label/friends/whatever on us. If they had a mix (like they're doing) people would bitch about both of these things, at the same time.
I have found it is very, very rare to go to a show where you love every band on the lineup. I have only been to one bandom show where I liked all of the bands playing (Panic/Metro Station/Black Gold). Sometimes support acts are not to my liking (although they are to the liking of many others). Part of me will never forgive Travie for making us listen to Professor Green (twice. Ugh), but at the same show I was introduced to the music of Cosmo Jarvis, who I think is precious and now adore. Same thing for FOB last year- I despise Boys Like Girls with the fire of a thousand suns, yet I got to see You Me At Six, who I think are rather sweet and would never have listened to if I hadn't been stuck between a 6 ft tall dude and the barrier. I've always looked at opening acts like those taster CDs you get with music magazines- often they're a pile of crap, but sometimes you get one gem that makes up for it all and you then have discovered a new artist to bring more joyful music into your life.
As for having to stand and listen to bands you don't like, well, sometimes that's how life works. It's like when your mum won't give you dessert until you've finished all your peas and broccoli. If you really want dessert you force the veges down and, amazingly they don't kill you and then you get the sugary goodness. Or, you know, you could just turn up right before dessert is served (although then pushing to the front to get the first serving is rude and will make everyone hate you). Did I take that analogy too far?
My point is, the support bands may not be your cup of tea. But different bands appeal to different people, and the audience is so wide that it's good to have variety so everyone gets a little bit of something they might enjoy. And, as hard as it is to believe, as much as, say, you might hate, say, ATL, there are people out there who're going 'Cobra Starship? What the shit is this?'
I've got a growing distaste for the things people are saying about some of the support bands. I know next to nothing about ATL, only non-bandomers are complaining about CS, and I'm not going to touch on Metro Station (who I personally think are adorable and I was considering braving the BLG show just to see them support, except now it's sold out). But Hey Monday. Man. The things people are saying about Hey Monday are pissing me off.
Now, I do not like Hey Monday. I am not fond of their music. I agree with people who think they're in the vein of Paramore, and that I, personally, cannot see the special spark that made Pete sign them (the way I can with Panic and GCH etc etc) but it does not mean that it's not there, it's just not my preference. I don't really want to discuss whether they should be on this tour (and the Oceania and European tours) with FOB, whether they deserve it, right now as I think my Cab Wifery might show too much and that's a whole other issue which I'm sure I'll rant about if provoked. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am not Hey Monday's biggest fan, yet some of the things people have been saying about them (and, in particular, Cassadee) makes me want to champion them like crazy just to drown out some of the downright nasty things people have said.
I don't see the point in being mean. As far as I know, Hey Monday have done nothing but promote their music and themselves in a relatively inoffensive manner. They will get up on stage and play around 6 songs. It'll take half an hour. Afterwards, Cassadee will not jump down from the stage and hold a pistol to anyone's head and demand everyone buys their album/goes to see them again/ever listens to their music ever again. They will walk off stage and celebrate putting on the best performance they could do and have a bit of a party and potentially engage in oh-so-terrible underaged drinking. And then the next band will come on and do the same, and so on and so on.
Support acts are designed to introduce people to the bands. It gets them exposure which will hopefully lead to bigger fan bases, more album sales, and their own headlining tours. Bands who're headlining give smaller bands the chance, champion bands they want people to listen to. It's like you lending that FOB CD to a friend at work or school in the hopes they'll listen and like it and get out of it similar pleasure to what you do. And yes, in this case Pete would profit from HM and CS expanding their fanbases, but Decaydance isn't a massive label that signs 2758275 different acts who're all basically identical. It's a label made up of bands Pete really, really likes and so is emotionally invested in, not just financially invested in.
Anyways, this leads me on to my second gripe of the night.
I realise bandom is fairly unique in that it is frequently 'Fourth wall? What fourth wall? Oh, you mean this see-thru one with a window in it that band people keep opening?'. There are many, many ways of interacting with the band, from the 'mostly harmless' (see: anything to do with Gabe) to the 'Oh god, where is the brain bleach' (see: those Ryden signs). I think contacting a member of a band to complain about their tour is probably somewhere in the middle of that scale. I kinda want to make an STD analogy here where the scale is herpes to AIDS and this situation is a particular nasty case of syphilis (er, I like weird analogies? Also calling things I dislike syphilitic). In this case, personally, it was more the tone of the argument, and the perhaps implication that the commenter was speaking for the majority of the fandom (when I don't see how someone who only surrounds themselves with yes-men can have their finger on the pulse of the general bandom opinion).
I'm not saying we should be all 'if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all' because I kind of hate that. But there is a difference between expressing your opinion about something that affects you personally, and being provocative for the sake of it. I'm trying not to give my personal opinion of the US tour too much (although, of course, I'm probably failing very badly at that) because it does not affect me. I do not live in the States, I will not be attending any of the shows, and so it is not my place to pick holes in this tour, or in the decisions which created this tour.
I think my bottom line with interaction with band people is this: I don't expect us to put them on a pedestal as some sort of untouchable gods whose word is law. I don’t think we should all say ‘Yes Pete, whatever you say Pete’ anymore than he would ever, ever want us to. I don’t expect people to ignore their active participation in the fandom, particularly because many of them put themselves out there in a way that suggests they welcome intercourse with their fans (discussion you guys! Get your minds out of the gutter). However, I wouldn't talk to Pete, for example, the way I would to another random fan (although to other random fans I'd still be a tonne more polite that many people are when interacting with band people). Pete Wentz is someone I greatly respect. He’s earned that respect. Ignoring everything else, there would not be FOB without Pete, and so I would not have music I love in my life. And so I respect him a lot. I think that respect should show in interactions with these people. And if you're in bandom, then Pete is someone who you own at least a modicum of respect to.
I'm going to stop now, but I'm interested in everyone's opinions over the events of the last day or so. In case I've not made it clear enough before, I definitely do not want people to just go 'yeah, I totes agree' unless you actually do. This is all my opinion, something I had to get out because I really, honestly cannot understand why people can be part of something as wonderful as bandom, and spend their entire time in it looking for things to complain about. Life is too short, and this fandom is too wonderful to waste with ridiculousness.
I have a question to ask you. And, I mean, I have a question that I would like answered. What do you want from these bands? What is it that you expect from them? Because from the amount of bitching that went on (and is still going on) over the announced US FOB tour makes me conclude that the only way the majority of people in this fandom would be remotely happy is if FOB turned up in your house and played you a private, 180 minute set without breaks, with a set list decided upon entirely by the recipient, all for free. And I get the feeling that even then a lot of people would find something to bitch about- too much banter/not enough banter/too much shenanigans/not enough shenanigans/Patrick's pocket hankie was the wrong colour/this iced water is too cold.
Sound ridiculous? Well, yeah. That's how most of the people's reactions I read sounded.
Let me lay this out the way I see it:
Several thousand people (hundred thousand? hundreds of thousands? I really can't be bothered adding it all up) are going to get to see Fall Out Boy (and co, but we'll come to that later) play a show at some point this year. Several BILLION are not. And I know, I know, vast over exaggeration since unfortunately not everyone seems to see the appeal of FOB but the point stands- a lot of people are not lucky enough to be able to go.
I feel bad for people who can't because whoever arranged the tour (and I don't think people grasp how little control over these things bands have, how they try to space it out based on population and previous fan reception and a dozen other reasons that I neither know nor care to worry about) chose a certain route. There is no way for bands to play everywhere. A tour can only last so long. You can only expect bands to perform night after night for a certain number of days. So there is no way for them to play in every city.
I mistakenly skimmed my friendsfriendslist last night, and happened to read an entry where someone, who was planning on seeing the show nearest them, complained there wasn't a show in a neighbouring city the next night and then bemoaned the fact that theyd have to drive a couple of hours to the next state and how awful it was for fob to make her do that.
Ignoring this bizarre concept some people seem to have where PWentz is an evil overlord who will punish them if they refuse to go to every show possible, give him all their money and support every band he supports, I don't understand the extent to which some people are complaining about having to travel what are, really, short distances compared to what many others would have to travel to see the shows.
I'm not trying to sound all 'my life, so hard' here at all, but Fall Out Boy mean a lot to me. A lot. Seeing them last year was one of the best experiences of my life. This 'tour' in March (we get 4 shows in total this time) has been scheduled by someone who seems to think the UK ends at Manchester. But I have decided I want to see them, that travelling is worth it. So a couple of us are undertaking a 6 hour journey from Scotland to England, spending the night there, and then a 5 hour round trip to Wales and back to England on the same day for the show, and then another 6 hours back to Scotland. Another friend is flying in from another country all together to see the show. Is this crazy? Yes, a lot of people seem to think so. Is this totally going to fuck myself over with all the driving? Yes, completely. But is it worth it? To me, 100% yes. So I'm not going to complain about it like some disgusting, entitled brat. Because, at the end of the day, I think I am lucky to be able to see them. So many people can't.
People who live in South and Central America, and Africa and Asia and Oceania and most of Europe seldom get shows at all. Some of them would have to leave their continent to see bands. I grew up in a country where bands would mostly come and play one show, at the most northern most city of one of the islands (in fact, unless I'm wrong, FOB are only playing Auckland, correct? Just like every other band). Australia only gets a handful of dates, and that's one big fucking country. I'm pretty sure if you're east of Germany in Europe, you don't get any shows. Hell, Canada only gets a couple of shows, and Canada is massive. So I am just grateful that they come to this tiny island at all.
I mentioned this to an American friend, back when people were being dicks over another tour- HCT probably, or RBL or YTW or whatever it was- and she said 'It's no excuse, but we sort of just expect shows near us' and she's right- it is no excuse.
I feel bad for people who aren't getting to go to the shows. And I just wish people who can go were more grateful for it.
Now. The tour itself. There is no way they're going to please everyone. They cannot win. If they got all non-bandom bands to open for them, people would say that Pete was neglecting his label/friends/whatever. If they did Decaydancefest: The Tour (which, man, I would love, for the record) people would complain about Pete pushing his label/friends/whatever on us. If they had a mix (like they're doing) people would bitch about both of these things, at the same time.
I have found it is very, very rare to go to a show where you love every band on the lineup. I have only been to one bandom show where I liked all of the bands playing (Panic/Metro Station/Black Gold). Sometimes support acts are not to my liking (although they are to the liking of many others). Part of me will never forgive Travie for making us listen to Professor Green (twice. Ugh), but at the same show I was introduced to the music of Cosmo Jarvis, who I think is precious and now adore. Same thing for FOB last year- I despise Boys Like Girls with the fire of a thousand suns, yet I got to see You Me At Six, who I think are rather sweet and would never have listened to if I hadn't been stuck between a 6 ft tall dude and the barrier. I've always looked at opening acts like those taster CDs you get with music magazines- often they're a pile of crap, but sometimes you get one gem that makes up for it all and you then have discovered a new artist to bring more joyful music into your life.
As for having to stand and listen to bands you don't like, well, sometimes that's how life works. It's like when your mum won't give you dessert until you've finished all your peas and broccoli. If you really want dessert you force the veges down and, amazingly they don't kill you and then you get the sugary goodness. Or, you know, you could just turn up right before dessert is served (although then pushing to the front to get the first serving is rude and will make everyone hate you). Did I take that analogy too far?
My point is, the support bands may not be your cup of tea. But different bands appeal to different people, and the audience is so wide that it's good to have variety so everyone gets a little bit of something they might enjoy. And, as hard as it is to believe, as much as, say, you might hate, say, ATL, there are people out there who're going 'Cobra Starship? What the shit is this?'
I've got a growing distaste for the things people are saying about some of the support bands. I know next to nothing about ATL, only non-bandomers are complaining about CS, and I'm not going to touch on Metro Station (who I personally think are adorable and I was considering braving the BLG show just to see them support, except now it's sold out). But Hey Monday. Man. The things people are saying about Hey Monday are pissing me off.
Now, I do not like Hey Monday. I am not fond of their music. I agree with people who think they're in the vein of Paramore, and that I, personally, cannot see the special spark that made Pete sign them (the way I can with Panic and GCH etc etc) but it does not mean that it's not there, it's just not my preference. I don't really want to discuss whether they should be on this tour (and the Oceania and European tours) with FOB, whether they deserve it, right now as I think my Cab Wifery might show too much and that's a whole other issue which I'm sure I'll rant about if provoked. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am not Hey Monday's biggest fan, yet some of the things people have been saying about them (and, in particular, Cassadee) makes me want to champion them like crazy just to drown out some of the downright nasty things people have said.
I don't see the point in being mean. As far as I know, Hey Monday have done nothing but promote their music and themselves in a relatively inoffensive manner. They will get up on stage and play around 6 songs. It'll take half an hour. Afterwards, Cassadee will not jump down from the stage and hold a pistol to anyone's head and demand everyone buys their album/goes to see them again/ever listens to their music ever again. They will walk off stage and celebrate putting on the best performance they could do and have a bit of a party and potentially engage in oh-so-terrible underaged drinking. And then the next band will come on and do the same, and so on and so on.
Support acts are designed to introduce people to the bands. It gets them exposure which will hopefully lead to bigger fan bases, more album sales, and their own headlining tours. Bands who're headlining give smaller bands the chance, champion bands they want people to listen to. It's like you lending that FOB CD to a friend at work or school in the hopes they'll listen and like it and get out of it similar pleasure to what you do. And yes, in this case Pete would profit from HM and CS expanding their fanbases, but Decaydance isn't a massive label that signs 2758275 different acts who're all basically identical. It's a label made up of bands Pete really, really likes and so is emotionally invested in, not just financially invested in.
Anyways, this leads me on to my second gripe of the night.
I realise bandom is fairly unique in that it is frequently 'Fourth wall? What fourth wall? Oh, you mean this see-thru one with a window in it that band people keep opening?'. There are many, many ways of interacting with the band, from the 'mostly harmless' (see: anything to do with Gabe) to the 'Oh god, where is the brain bleach' (see: those Ryden signs). I think contacting a member of a band to complain about their tour is probably somewhere in the middle of that scale. I kinda want to make an STD analogy here where the scale is herpes to AIDS and this situation is a particular nasty case of syphilis (er, I like weird analogies? Also calling things I dislike syphilitic). In this case, personally, it was more the tone of the argument, and the perhaps implication that the commenter was speaking for the majority of the fandom (when I don't see how someone who only surrounds themselves with yes-men can have their finger on the pulse of the general bandom opinion).
I'm not saying we should be all 'if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all' because I kind of hate that. But there is a difference between expressing your opinion about something that affects you personally, and being provocative for the sake of it. I'm trying not to give my personal opinion of the US tour too much (although, of course, I'm probably failing very badly at that) because it does not affect me. I do not live in the States, I will not be attending any of the shows, and so it is not my place to pick holes in this tour, or in the decisions which created this tour.
I think my bottom line with interaction with band people is this: I don't expect us to put them on a pedestal as some sort of untouchable gods whose word is law. I don’t think we should all say ‘Yes Pete, whatever you say Pete’ anymore than he would ever, ever want us to. I don’t expect people to ignore their active participation in the fandom, particularly because many of them put themselves out there in a way that suggests they welcome intercourse with their fans (discussion you guys! Get your minds out of the gutter). However, I wouldn't talk to Pete, for example, the way I would to another random fan (although to other random fans I'd still be a tonne more polite that many people are when interacting with band people). Pete Wentz is someone I greatly respect. He’s earned that respect. Ignoring everything else, there would not be FOB without Pete, and so I would not have music I love in my life. And so I respect him a lot. I think that respect should show in interactions with these people. And if you're in bandom, then Pete is someone who you own at least a modicum of respect to.
I'm going to stop now, but I'm interested in everyone's opinions over the events of the last day or so. In case I've not made it clear enough before, I definitely do not want people to just go 'yeah, I totes agree' unless you actually do. This is all my opinion, something I had to get out because I really, honestly cannot understand why people can be part of something as wonderful as bandom, and spend their entire time in it looking for things to complain about. Life is too short, and this fandom is too wonderful to waste with ridiculousness.