(no subject)
All I want is to get away from him. And he tortures me by making me stay here. I wish he would go to sleep so I can suffocate him. My whole life he has been suffocating me. Every day more and more of me dies because of him. I hate him. I hate him more than anything in the entire world. With out him I would be happy. That's a nice thought. Happiness. When he dies, I honestly can't say if I would cry or not. Tears of joy, maybe. He's not worthy of life. Maybe no one is. Or maybe it's just me. I believe in fate. Everyone is born just so they can eventually die. I wish I were dead. Suicide, homicide, overdose, heartattack... Whatever the case may be, I just wish I were dead. I just give up. My friends are all I really have to live for. I'm not even allowed to see them. I'm stuck here. Not for long though. I don't know how or what I'm going to do about this but... All I want is to leave the house. I didn't do anything to deserve to have to stay here. But because he is miserable, I have to be too. Not Max or Laurel or Emily, just me. They haven't done anything today and they get to do what they want. Why does Max get rewarded for doing his own laundry and cleaning his own room? I don't. I get bitched at when I do things for myself. I get called selfish and greedy. When I do something for myself it doesn't mean a god damn thing. But he ties his own shoes and he gets applauded. I hate this house. I hate everyhting in it. I want... I wish arson was legal. The same people, same shit hole, same everything. I can't stand it. Today my 9 year old sister told me to die. God, it's so hard to breathe. If he let's him leave... He's allowed to leave? I don't get it. God I can't breathe.