Is it over yet?
Christ. I thought the overt commercialism of Christmas was bad enough, what with all the idiots plaguing the sidwalks and subways so they can buy their loved one something absolutely unrelated in every way to their personality (salad shooter, anyone?).
But now, NOW the streets of New York are filled with an entirely different breed of annoying: euro-trash and mid-western USA tourists. Fucking hell. Sure, there are days I don't hear English on the subway, but Swedish? Dutch? This in NYC, talk Spanish, dammit! I was in the Frick, hands down the most pretentious of art collections in the City (which is to say, tourists should stick to the MoMA), and I got bumped twice while looking at 12th C. paintings of the devil and such. The second time I uttered an offended "Ex-CUSE You," and you know what the fur-wearing bitch said??? "Uh, pardon," as in the French, "par-do'n." Die! Oh, I wanted to poke her in her cheese-filled pastry eating eye.
Are they here for that stupid ball dropping tradition? Really? People fly in for that shit? Must be, because no true-blue New Yorker I've ever known wants to be anywhere NEAR Times Square on New Year's Eve. Hell. No. Well it's over now. Go the fuck home. I know Victoria's Secret just launched their semi-annual sale, but surely they make bras where you come from. Take your wrapped-around-the-block-to-see-the-Empire-State-Building ass and GO HOME.
No, wait... I almost forgot: thank you for your money. NOW you can leave.
But now, NOW the streets of New York are filled with an entirely different breed of annoying: euro-trash and mid-western USA tourists. Fucking hell. Sure, there are days I don't hear English on the subway, but Swedish? Dutch? This in NYC, talk Spanish, dammit! I was in the Frick, hands down the most pretentious of art collections in the City (which is to say, tourists should stick to the MoMA), and I got bumped twice while looking at 12th C. paintings of the devil and such. The second time I uttered an offended "Ex-CUSE You," and you know what the fur-wearing bitch said??? "Uh, pardon," as in the French, "par-do'n." Die! Oh, I wanted to poke her in her cheese-filled pastry eating eye.
Are they here for that stupid ball dropping tradition? Really? People fly in for that shit? Must be, because no true-blue New Yorker I've ever known wants to be anywhere NEAR Times Square on New Year's Eve. Hell. No. Well it's over now. Go the fuck home. I know Victoria's Secret just launched their semi-annual sale, but surely they make bras where you come from. Take your wrapped-around-the-block-to-see-the-Empire-State-Building ass and GO HOME.
No, wait... I almost forgot: thank you for your money. NOW you can leave.