Nostalgia got to me tonight.
I'm sorry to anyone who watching both my journals you're going to see this twice.
While cleaning and organizing my external hard drive tonight I found myself watching old videos from my last year in high school. I almost started to cry. I really miss everyone so much it's really depressing. I even miss the people that turned into total assholes in the end of it all.
It's kinda sad because the last time we all got together it was really fun and it was to make up for the time we lost since graduation. I dunno it's just sad.
I watched the videos from grad and I just sighed. I felt myself feeling really empty. I might have made friends with a variety of weirdos, normal people, and some in between but I don't regret any of it. Sometimes I laugh because I always seem to make friends with weird people but I don't regret much of it. I don't even regret making friends with the people that hate me now. Y'know the people who severed their ties with me and left things badly.
I almost want to go back to my last year of high school and just do it all over again. It mean yeah it wasn't all good but damn.
I think I took things for granted. I feel really separated from a lot of my friends now. I haven't seen so many of my high school friends in so long. Hell I haven't seen most of my friends in so long. If it's not one thing it's another. I hate this joining the real world thing. It's way too painful. I mean I know life goes on but damn...
My mom always told me that after I graduated I'd be lucky if I kept friends from high school. I told her she was wrong. I told her that no matter what me and my friends would always be friends. Even if we fought, even if we went to different post secondary schools. Even if we moved away. I told her I'd do my very best to stay in contact with all my friends.
I feel awful because I really haven't done a hell of a lot to stay in contact with them. I wish I had. Reconnecting with so many of them is going to be so hard. I wish I could get in touch with everyone and talk to them.
It's hard though because some of my friends hate each other. Some of the people I was once friends with hate me now. It's awful because the best years of my life were in high school so far. I haven't made close friends with anyone, one exception or two, in university. I don't go out with friends and do stuff much anymore. Most of the time I'm just at home or at work. I feel older than I really am.
I think I'm gonna try to organize something else because seriously this sucks. It'll probably suck ass because apparently a few of my friends just don't care to spend time in the same room as some of my other friends never mind spend a whole day together. We'll see though. Hopefully all will go well.
While cleaning and organizing my external hard drive tonight I found myself watching old videos from my last year in high school. I almost started to cry. I really miss everyone so much it's really depressing. I even miss the people that turned into total assholes in the end of it all.
It's kinda sad because the last time we all got together it was really fun and it was to make up for the time we lost since graduation. I dunno it's just sad.
I watched the videos from grad and I just sighed. I felt myself feeling really empty. I might have made friends with a variety of weirdos, normal people, and some in between but I don't regret any of it. Sometimes I laugh because I always seem to make friends with weird people but I don't regret much of it. I don't even regret making friends with the people that hate me now. Y'know the people who severed their ties with me and left things badly.
I almost want to go back to my last year of high school and just do it all over again. It mean yeah it wasn't all good but damn.
I think I took things for granted. I feel really separated from a lot of my friends now. I haven't seen so many of my high school friends in so long. Hell I haven't seen most of my friends in so long. If it's not one thing it's another. I hate this joining the real world thing. It's way too painful. I mean I know life goes on but damn...
My mom always told me that after I graduated I'd be lucky if I kept friends from high school. I told her she was wrong. I told her that no matter what me and my friends would always be friends. Even if we fought, even if we went to different post secondary schools. Even if we moved away. I told her I'd do my very best to stay in contact with all my friends.
I feel awful because I really haven't done a hell of a lot to stay in contact with them. I wish I had. Reconnecting with so many of them is going to be so hard. I wish I could get in touch with everyone and talk to them.
It's hard though because some of my friends hate each other. Some of the people I was once friends with hate me now. It's awful because the best years of my life were in high school so far. I haven't made close friends with anyone, one exception or two, in university. I don't go out with friends and do stuff much anymore. Most of the time I'm just at home or at work. I feel older than I really am.
I think I'm gonna try to organize something else because seriously this sucks. It'll probably suck ass because apparently a few of my friends just don't care to spend time in the same room as some of my other friends never mind spend a whole day together. We'll see though. Hopefully all will go well.