jus another morning..
so lately it seems like i'm always the one at fault..and like im always the one to blame everything on. I feel like the worst possiable girlfriend in the world=/ I'm scared. See shyam is leaving in 10 days for a month..and i won't be able to talk to him..but honestly I think i can handle it..i mean the first week maybe not? but idk..just b/c i haven't seen him in SO long anyway I think i can do it..cause without talking to him will prob make me insane..but at the same time it's better b/c then if i talk to him i get sad=(..cause i know i can't have him..and he's thousands and thousands of miles away..freaking two different times and all..but whatever..I just feel like everything is gunna be fucked up when he gets back..like both of us are gunna want time apart?..i don't know..weve never broken up bef0re..and i don't want to or anything but w/e we'll see how it goes when he gets back..i'll probaly write in here everyday till he gets back so he can read it and see what i've been up too..cause i gotta write in my diary every day hes gone =) lol..yah..ima miss him soo much=/ i can't believe he's leavinggg ima be so fuckiiiiing bored. I think i gotta go to south carolina..WHAT the fuck lol seriously thats a hick place..but w/e then maybe orlando? i really don't know anything to keep myself occupied. Oh yah and everyday im gunna go for a jog around southwood..get my ass in shape and loose like 10 pounds or something..just fucking i feel so nasty lately so ima do something about it. lol
ANyways..yesterday was alright shyam came over..we chilled at home..went to the falls just to look around..played with ipods and i stole him some earrings lol..that was fun..i think hes getting me an ipod for my birthday before he leaves =) but im not positive. hopefully. ha but i really don't want anything fr0m him..i just want HIM to be HERE on MY birthday!!!!!!!!!!! but NOooo..=( my birthday is gunna suck ass..im not gunna do anything. fuck that. im gunna stay home..and just sleep. lol my 16th birthday too. what a waste..w/e. Well anyway after the falls we went to moes and ate there..went home and i was full so i layed down..got tired..and was like half awake / asleep..so he got mad at me....i can't help that tho. i feel bad..i feel like everything i do is always fucked up now a days..i can't never do nuthing bout it either. whatever..im gunna see him today..he promised me..so hopefully i will..i need to..i really do need to..=/...[Oh yah and a couple of days ago shyamalan got me a big stuff animal nemo =) i <3 him.]
18 days till summer starts....
and 10 days till shyamalan leaves =*(
There are plenty of fish in the sea.. but you'll always be my nemo =)