"Went to the Apollo. Should have seen him go go go...."
Damn migraine has been kicking and screaming in my head all day. I took a big prescription strength motrin and the pain has ceased for the time being.
I'm supposed to go see twistedwhispers and Travis and possibly meet up with sunavatar later.
I'm just afraid I will smoke up and start freaking out again.
Or worse, the migraine will come back in full effect leaving me unable to drive because any little bit of light feels like someone is driving foot long needles right thought the center of my eye and into my brain.
YAY.
Also this is my typical "after a huge anxiety attack" reaction. Everything and anything becomes very scary.
When I think of my anxiety and depression I don't even think, "This is so unfair" anymore.
I pretty much think I'm being punished for something.
For my weakness maybe.
For my inability to rise above the shit like everyone else does day in and day out.
If I rise above it will be my ghost who lives my life. Able to assume any identity but not having any identity of its own. Just, The Ghost.
While the rest of me lies below, thinking how wrong things are, curled up like a baby inside a mother.
How Do You Think It Feels~Lou Reed
How do you think it feels
When you're speeding and lonely
Come here baby
How do you think it feels
When all you can say is: If only
If only I had a little
If only I had some change
If only, if only, only
How do you think it feels
And when do you think it stops ?
How do you think it feels
When you've been up for five days
Come down here Mama
Hunting around always - ooh
'Cause you're afraid of sleeping
How do you think it feels
To feel like a wolf and foxy
How do you think it feels
To always make love by proxy ?
How do you think it feels
And when do you think it stops ?
When do you think it stops ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Candy came from out on the island,
In the backroom she was everybody's darling,
But she never lost her head
Even when she was given head
She said, hey baby, take a walk on the wild side
She said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
And the coloured girls go, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo
I'm supposed to go see twistedwhispers and Travis and possibly meet up with sunavatar later.
I'm just afraid I will smoke up and start freaking out again.
Or worse, the migraine will come back in full effect leaving me unable to drive because any little bit of light feels like someone is driving foot long needles right thought the center of my eye and into my brain.
YAY.
Also this is my typical "after a huge anxiety attack" reaction. Everything and anything becomes very scary.
When I think of my anxiety and depression I don't even think, "This is so unfair" anymore.
I pretty much think I'm being punished for something.
For my weakness maybe.
For my inability to rise above the shit like everyone else does day in and day out.
If I rise above it will be my ghost who lives my life. Able to assume any identity but not having any identity of its own. Just, The Ghost.
While the rest of me lies below, thinking how wrong things are, curled up like a baby inside a mother.
How Do You Think It Feels~Lou Reed
How do you think it feels
When you're speeding and lonely
Come here baby
How do you think it feels
When all you can say is: If only
If only I had a little
If only I had some change
If only, if only, only
How do you think it feels
And when do you think it stops ?
How do you think it feels
When you've been up for five days
Come down here Mama
Hunting around always - ooh
'Cause you're afraid of sleeping
How do you think it feels
To feel like a wolf and foxy
How do you think it feels
To always make love by proxy ?
How do you think it feels
And when do you think it stops ?
When do you think it stops ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Candy came from out on the island,
In the backroom she was everybody's darling,
But she never lost her head
Even when she was given head
She said, hey baby, take a walk on the wild side
She said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
And the coloured girls go, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo