Switch-Hitting Final Part
19. Big Bang--Koe wo Kikasete
Jin hooks up to Skype with his webcam for the first time at the beginning of September, almost a year to the day since he first landed in Japan, and after a quick message to Kazuya to let him know that after being home for almost a month, he finally, finally has Internet access again, they arrange a time to talk. The first thing he sees when the video loads on Kazuya's end is him leaning back in his desk chair, his bright blue LA Dodgers cap sitting atop long brown hair that falls just short of brushing his shoulders, and the tell-tale outline of thick ice packs beneath the right sleeve of his t-shirt. He had intended to greet Kazuya with, “Good morning,” in Japanese, considering his computer tells him that it's just after 6AM in Tokyo, whereas it's two in the afternoon in L.A., but in response to his appearance, he smiles broadly, saying instead, “How'd you do yesterday?”
There's a bit of a delay due to the connection, but after a moment, Jin sees Kazuya return the smile. “7 and 2/3 innings. It was lights-out ball until I hit my pitch count. I wanted to stay in, but the manager's resting all of the starters this month because we've already clinched a spot in the post-season, so he'll need us strong then.”
“You know my Japanese has never been good enough to understand the details of your baseball mumbo-jumbo, but I think I got the gist of that. Good job, and good luck with the rest of the season, yeah? Fight-o, fight-o, do your best, and all that.”
Kazuya nods and shows the screen a big thumbs-up.
Jin leans forward to return the gesture, but he soon abandons it to rub his hands over the nape of his neck, his smile fading into a sheepish look as he rests his elbows on the edge of his desk. “Sorry it took me so long to contact you after I got home.”
His face shifting into a jumble of emotions when the apology comes through, Kazuya looks away from the screen. “I was worried,” is all he has to say to that.
“I know, and I'm sorry. First I was jet-lagged, and then I had to hurry to find somewhere to live because I had to go back to school right away, and...yeah. It's just been a nightmare.” Jin lowers his head resting on his arms a bit more, as if trying to show the computer a bow. “So how have you been?”
Kazuya fidgets in his chair and turns to look at something else in the distance, this time on the opposite side of the screen. “Pretty good, I guess. Kōji's home now, which is nice. I swear, every time he says something now, he starts with, 'When I was in LA...' It was pretty funny at first, but it's starting to get kind of annoying. Oh, but-”
“I've been doing that, too! Saying 'Japan' instead of 'LA,' obviously, but...yeah. Everyone keeps asking me if I met any Japanese girls while I was over there. I'm not sure what to tell them.” He means for it to come off as a joke, but the way a small, forced smile comes to Kazuya's lips, he thinks it may have fallen flat.
“Speaking of which,” Kazuya says, seemingly eager to change the topic, “do you know anyone named Amy at your school?”
Jin shakes his head. “Don't think so. Why?”
Kazuya's smile widens a bit. “In that case, I'm sure you will soon. Amy is my brother's fiancee, and he said he was going to tell her about you, so don't be surprised if she comes up to you on campus and introduces herself. From what I understand, she's sweet, funny, beautiful, brunette, and very taken, so Kōji will kick your ass through the webcam if you try anything on her. His words, not mine, but still. Even if you are single now...”
Jin doesn't miss the sad turn of Kazuya's voice towards the end of what he says. “I see. About that, actually...”
Panic suddenly registers on Kazuya's features, only to fade into what appears to be very controlled slight interest. “Oh...have you found someone?”
Except that's not what Jin had meant to imply at all. “Actually, I've been telling everyone I'm already in a relationship. With you.”
For a long time, Kazuya just sits and stares at the screen. If Jin looks closely, he imagines he can see the neurons firing behind his eyes, trying to process what he'd heard and perhaps wondering if a (rare by the time Jin had left Japan, but still occasional) breakdown in Japanese listening comprehension made Jin misunderstand the circumstances under which they had said goodbye.
But no. Jin understands perfectly that they'd agreed to break up back at the end of July. The problem is that he hasn't been able to get over him, and he's stopped trying since he realized he didn't want to. He tells Kazuya as much, admitting, “I still love you, Kazuya. I know it because even being 7000 miles away from you hurts less than the idea of not having you in my life at all. If you don't feel the same and you want to move on, I'll understand, but...I'd really like it if we could give this a try. It'll be hard, I know, but like I said, I'd rather be apart from you but know I still have you than be without you.” Jin bites on his lip, feeling his cheeks heat at the thought that he's laying everything and all of himself on the line waiting for Kazuya's response.
Halfway around the world, Kazuya buries his face in both hands and lets out a long sigh, something like a clipped laugh coming out at the end of it. The sound gives Jin a bit of hope, opening the possibility in his mind that maybe Kazuya's been waiting over a month to hear those exact words.
When he lowers his hands, Kazuya's smiling widely, his eyes shining with happiness and perhaps the first hints of tears. “I love you, too, Jin. The last month has been hell for me, not knowing what to do about you. I didn't want to let you go then, and I still don't. I want to try and make this work.”
Overwhelmed by happiness, Jin reaches forward to brush his fingertips across Kazuya's picture on the screen, pretending he's cupping his jaw or knocking his Dodgers cap off to run his fingers through his hair. “We'll make it work.”
Answering with a nod of his head, Kazuya echoes his sentiment. “Even if we have to limit ourselves to awkward webcam sex until one of us can make the trip over, we'll make it work.”
Jin laughs so hard he almost falls out of his chair. “God, I've missed you. But yeah, we'll figure it out. Actually, uh...I hate to cut this short, but I promised some of my friends I'd meet them for dinner. Can I show them your picture?”
An emphatic nod comes from the other end of the connection. “Only if it's a good one, though.”
Jin laughs again, vaguely realizing that his cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling so much. “Of course. Ah, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, though?”
“Of course.” As he says, “I love you,” Kazuya blows Jin a kiss, and he won't let him leave until he does it back.
Even though they're sixteen hours apart, it doesn't feel like it to either Jin or Kazuya as they spend the rest of their respective evening and morning in a happy daze.
After that first video call, they make a point of talking on Skype as frequently as possible, which, between their schedules, typically means once a week-always around the same time to guarantee they'll have quite a while to talk. They talk about all kinds of things, happy, sad, and frustrating alike, but it's rare one of them has something to report that has a direct impact on their relationship until Kazuya starts one conversation by dropping the bombshell, “I told my parents about us.”
At first, Jin doesn't know how to react to this news, but he reads from the troubled expression on Kazuya's face that this could be something worth worrying about, and suddenly, it feels like a giant ice cube has settled in his stomach. “Oh... How did they...um... How did they take it?”
Without warning, Kazuya throws his arms in the air. The sudden shrillness in his voice comes through Jin's speakers as feedback, and he has to lower the volume on his laptop to hear him properly. “Would you believe they already knew?! They knew the whole time and never said anything!”
“Oh,” Jin says again, intelligently. His face flushes when he gives it thought and he realizes that he and Kazuya were really the ignorant ones when for months they thought they'd been successful in their efforts to keep Kazuya's parents in the dark. He notices his voice going a bit thinner, too, as he asks, “Um...how much do they know, exactly?”
He can see Kazuya blushing, too, despite over 7000 physical miles and fluctuating amounts of pixellation on his video feed. “Well...okay, here's what happened. I went to go tell them, right? And the first thing they said to me was, 'Did you really think we didn't know? You two were never really subtle about it.'” He pauses for a moment in his retelling to give Jin a look that clearly says he thought they'd been very subtle about it, and given how much hiding they'd had to do, Jin's inclined to agree. He opens his mouth to tell Kazuya so, but he gets cut off when the other suddenly launches back into his narrative.
“And I thought, you know, by that they meant that they'd heard us, and my face got all red, but no, they just meant that they thought we always looked a little bit too close to just be friends, but then they stopped and asked me what I thought they'd meant, and, well...I didn't come out and say it, but it didn't take them long to figure it out, and...”
He stops again to let out a deep sigh before continuing, which helps calm his voice at first, but the shrill tint slowly works its way back in as he keeps telling the story, making it clear that he doesn't feel he's going to be able to live down the embarrassment of what happened for a long time. “They weren't mad that we lied and tried to hide it, only that we didn't come out and tell them about it before doing...that under their roof. Then they asked if that's what we, and I quote, 'ran away to Kyushu for,' and I tried to tell them no, that was strictly for sight-seeing, but they still didn't believe me, and just...gah.”
As unfunny as what Kazuya's telling him is, the sight of him miming pulling his own hair out in frustration brings a small smile to his face. It fades a bit, though, when Kazuya lets out a sigh, and the tone of his voice comes out somewhere between resigned and resentful as he brings the relating of events to a close. “So...yeah, now I'm grounded from going out, but there's no way I'm going to stick to that. They can't stop me from doing what I want to do.” The tips of his ears go red as he falls silent suddenly, and Jin wonders when Kazuya's ever found anything baseball-related embarrassing before. “Anyway, I just thought I should let you know. But I should probably get downstairs and help with the chores before I get grounded from going to baseball practice, too.”
“I...okay,” Jin says weakly, still reeling from all of the information Kazuya had rattled off at him. “Love you.”
Kazuya smiles and says it back before disconnecting the call.
~*~*~*~
The next few times they talk, Jin notices something changing about Kazuya. Instead of just groggy, which he'd expect anyone to be at six in the morning, Kazuya seems completely exhausted, as though he's only running on a few hours of sleep each night. At first, Jin thinks it's the change in seasons getting to him or that he's coming down with something, but instead of clearing up, the color of the dark circles now constantly visible beneath his eyes only grows deeper. Every time they hang up, Jin tells him that he's worried about him and that he needs to take care of himself, and even though every time Kazuya answers with a nod and assures him that he will, he never seems to get any better. When a couple more weeks go by and Kazuya starts sleeping through the alarm he sets for himself to ensure he gets up in time for them to talk, Jin gets angry. He's going to demand to know what's going on and why Kazuya's keeping things from him.
Except the next time they connect, it's obvious Kazuya has taken down with something, and the sight of him curled up in his chair in a heavy blanket, his eyes dull and bleary with fever is about the most miserable thing Jin thinks he's ever seen, and he sends him back to bed with the assurance that they can talk when he's feeling better.
The following week, it seems Kazuya taking ill has done him a world of good, as he looks healthier and more rested than Jin thinks he's seen him in months. His physically looking better doesn't mean he's off the hook for being so secretive about the strain that's been put on him lately, though. While in the past Jin's gotten him to admit things like, “I've just got a lot on my plate right now,” and, “There's a lot of things going on that are keeping me busy,” after a few choice words about the importance of trust and honesty in a relationship, he finally gets a straight answer out of him.
“The truth is, I've been going back to school.” It's clear from Jin's expression and his silence that that's not the answer he'd been expecting, so he continues, “I figured just in case something goes wrong and a baseball career doesn't work out, it'd be good if I had more to show for myself than just a high school diploma.”
Instead of assuaging his concerns, Kazuya's answer only worries him more. In all the time they've spent together, he's never heard Kazuya express any kind of doubt that someday he would be a professional baseball player. “Oh. Is that something you feel you need to be worried about?”
Kazuya just shrugs a shoulder. “There haven't been as many scouts around, and I guess my parents telling me for years that I need to make sure I have a back-up plan is finally starting to sink in. A bit late, which is why it's been so hard for me to do both, but I'm managing. I've already gotten through most of one semester, and there's a short break after New Year's before the start of the next term, so I'll have a chance to rest up.”
“If that's all it is,” Jin starts, the tone of his voice bordering on threatening in case there's something else Kazuya feels he needs to tell him, “I guess there's not much that can be done. Just please take care, okay? Christ, Kazuya, I thought you had caught some rare illness that was slowly killing you from how horrible you looked. It killed me not knowing. Why did you feel you had to hide that from me in the first place?”
Kazuya squirms a little in his chair. “I was embarrassed. I never thought school was important because I was so focused on baseball, and now, realizing I might have been wrong to think that way...I felt dumb. And I don't want to feel dumb in front of you or anyone, really, so I tried to keep it a secret. I'm sorry I worried you. I love you, and I shouldn't have done that.”
Hearing the full extent of his apology, Jin feels his anger start to abate. “It's all right, Kazuya. I'm just glad you're feeling better.” He pauses for a moment for dramatic effect when he senses an opportunity to reveal the ace he's been hiding up his sleeve. “Study hard and catch up on your sleep, okay? I won't be pleased if you're sleeping the whole time I'm in Japan to visit you.”
A smirk finds its way to his lips as he watches the repetitive, owlish blink of Kazuya's eyes, knowing he's trying to wrap his head around what he just heard. “Say that again?”
“I said I'm coming to visit you.” His smirk widens into an all-out grin when he pulls out his plane tickets to wave them back and forth in front of the screen.
Kazuya's eyes follow them as though in wonder, and then when the information sinks in, he claps his hands excitedly and bounces a little in his chair. From how he's seated in the swivel chair, Jin can just see the movement of his legs as he presumably stomps his feet under the desk, too. “Really?! You're shitting me, right? How? When?!”
The excitement he sees lighting up Kazuya's eyes makes Jin wish more than ever that they were together so he could kiss him, and he even finds himself leaning in a little. His tone turns soft and affectionate as he says, “'How' is a very generous gift from my parents, and 'when' is for Christmas and New Year's. I fly in the 22nd and go home on the 4th. So I'll be there almost two weeks. I already e-mailed your parents about it, and they said it's okay.”
To his surprise, Kazuya's expression falls a little. “Wait, you mean I'm the last one to know?”
Jin sputters. “That's what makes it a surprise, stupid. Can't you just be happy I'm coming instead of worrying about the details?!”
Kazuya stubbornly purses his lips. “But I was going to go run through the house proclaiming the news to everyone! Now I'll just look stupid if I do that. ...I might still do it, anyway, though, and I don't care if they laugh at me for it, because oh my god, you're coming to visit, yay!”
A peal of fond laughter escapes Jin's throat as Kazuya goes into another round of excited clapping and stomping. “You're such a dork. A dork whom I can't wait to see, though.”
The warmth of Jin's voice and the soft smile playing over his lips bring Kazuya down from his high a little bit. “I can't wait to see you, either. You know I'll be counting down the days. Do you need us to come pick you up from the airport?”
Jin props his elbow on the desk to rest his head on the upturned heel of his palm, and they both smile when he says casually, “Nah, I know my way around.”
A quiet moment passes between them, the promise of getting to see each other again making them feel closer than ever. Kazuya reaches forward to touch the screen with his fingertips, and Jin does the same. “I love you, Kazuya,” Jin says tenderly, which draws a shy smile and a faint blush to the other's cheeks. “Now go run through the house and wake everyone up with the news while I go get ready for class.”
Kazuya laughs a little. “Yeah, all right.” He tells him he loves him back, and then the brightest smile Jin thinks he's seen since he's been home comes to his face as he says, “I'll see you soon.”
“Yeah,” he answers, and the image of Kazuya's smile remains burned in his memory long after he disconnects the call.
~*~*~*~
20. Goong OST--A Dancing Teddy
Completely by coincidence, Kōji's fiancee Amy flys to Tokyo for the holiday as well, and she and Jin end up taking the same train from the airport to Edogawa. When they arrive together at the Kamenashi residence, they break away from their English chatter for Jin to shout out, “I'm home!” in Japanese, and all hell breaks loose as the whole family rushes to the genkan to greet them. Amy lets out a happy squeak when she catches sight of Kōji and rushes into his arms, and Jin feels his heart do a flip-flop in his chest when Kazuya does the same to him (but without the squeaking). Feeling lighter and happier than he has in months, he squeezes the boy as tightly as he can, but lets out a surprised, protesting sound when warm lips press forcefully to his. He pulls back feeling dazed; apparently Kazuya isn't worried about his parents' reactions anymore. The sight of Kōji lifting Amy up to spin her around makes him laugh joyfully, and he buries his face in Kazuya's hair as he embraces him once more.
The party eventually moves to the kitchen, and Jin and Kazuya don't stray far from each other's sides as laughter and sake cups get passed around. Even though it isn't quite Christmas yet and there's no precedent in Japan for celebrating the holiday the way he would at home, it certainly feels like it to Jin, with the whole family gathered to pass hours talking, eating, and drinking together. It's such a pleasant feeling that he doesn't even mind when Kazuya's older brothers tag-team to grill him about their relationship. Only the holiday season can make threats of castration and dismemberment seem lighthearted. A smirk on his lips, he turns the tables on Kōji by warning him that he and Amy have become pretty close friends back at home, and that he'll do the same to him if he does anything to hurt her. It doesn't take long for the two of them to reach an understanding.
Obligatory over-protective sibling threats over with, the atmosphere turns cheerful again, and Jin strikes up a conversation with Kōji about his year abroad at UCLA, the volume of their voices steadily rising as they catalog shared experiences. They lose Yuichirō's attention when they switch into English, and he focuses instead on running gentle circles over the inside of his wife Naomi's wrist where her hands curl protectively over the slight bump to her stomach. Eyes closed and one side of her mouth turning upwards in a smile, she looks the perfect image of serenity, even when her mother-in-law comes over to remind her of the importance of getting enough folate in her diet and not spending too much time on her feet. Across the room, Kazuya and his father laugh uproariously at Yuya's attempts to speak English with Amy, and the youngest squawks, “Like either of you could do any better!” The Kamenashi household has never before felt full to bursting with so much love.
As much as Jin would love to keep talking to Kōji about LA, America in general, and some of the struggles of being in long-distance relationships, eventually both jet lag and the mere exhaustion of traveling start to catch up with him, and he has to announce that he's going to call it a night. Kazuya abandons his conversation with Yuya and rises, too. “I'll help you get settled in,” he says, and he promptly ignores the round of teasing he gets from his family members when his hand grips gently at Jin's elbow to lead him upstairs.
Leaving the sounds of the party behind, their lips find each other the moment they ascend the top step, and the handle of Jin's suitcase drops as, stumbling a little, they find their way to the nearest wall. “Thought you were tired,” Kazuya teases when Jin lets out a quiet groan at the sensation of their mouths moving together.
“I am,” he answers, keeping a tight grip on Kazuya's narrow waist to not lose the feeling of the lines of his body pressed firmly against his own after so long apart, “but not enough that I can't greet you properly.” After dropping another kiss to Kazuya's slightly swollen lips, Jin whispers, “I missed you,” against them and moves to pull him into what had once been their bedroom.
Breath hitching at the ghosting sensation of Jin's words over his mouth, Kazuya doesn't put up much resistance until they're both inside and he turns to lock the door. “...Oh, right.” Unlocking it again, he whirls around to look at Jin, who's staring at the four futons laid out on the floor. Sensing his confusion, he explains, “The house only has three bedrooms, so we're sharing this one with Kōji and Amy. Yuichirō and Naomi have Yuya's, and Yuya's on the couch. The only reason my parents agreed to this arrangement at all is because I promised there wouldn't be any 'funny business' while you were here, but, um...Kōji and I kind of have an arrangement, too, so...” He trails off with a wink and stacks the two extra futon in the corner. “We won't be needing those~” Falling into bed next to Jin with a happy sigh, he says, “Brothers are awesome, aren't they?”
Jin just laughs and curls his arm around Kazuya's waist again. “Yeah...you've got some good ones.”
Following soft, slow goodnight kisses and a murmured exchange of 'I love you's in the dark, it doesn't take either of them long to fall asleep wrapped up in each other's embrace.
~*~*~*~
After spending all of the 23rd trying to adjust to the time change, going to see Emperor Akihito on his birthday at the Imperial Palace, and buying last minute Christmas presents, Christmas Eve comes quickly, and the atmosphere throughout the house turns romantic in anticipation of night falling.
The weather far too cold for a meal under the bridge, Jin and Kazuya go instead for Korean barbecue, eating at a restaurant that stands in place of the yakiniku establishment they had gone to the year before (where Jin registers his disappointment that the staff members come out and cook the meat for them instead of letting them do it themselves). Stuffed full of kim chi and sweet rice cakes, they try to keep their voices down as they stroll, but it's hard to keep their intentions a secret when they look as dreamy as every other couple out on the street.
When they turn off the main road for a somewhat quieter one, Kazuya lets his hand brush the inside of Jin's wrist. “Ne, I wonder how my parents feel, sitting home alone eating fried chicken in front of the TV and knowing at least three of their sons are getting laid tonight.”
Jin sputters with quiet laughter, and he briefly tangles their fingers together as he lowers his head to Kazuya's. “How do you know that's what they're doing? They could be up to something else, you know.”
In response to the curious tone of Jin's reply, for a moment a glimpse of the virginal boy Jin first met comes back to Kazuya's face, looking at him first in confusion and then in horror when he realizes what he's getting at. Lips floundering for a second, he eventually spits out, “That's sick!” and gives Jin a hard shove, which to his eternal frustration only makes the other burst out laughing. Feeling his cheeks flame, Kazuya crosses his arms over his chest and moves away when Jin tries to reconcile by stroking his long fingers over the back of his shoulder. With a disdainful sniff, he tilts his slightly crooked nose skyward and says, “I don't think I want to go to the love hotel with you anymore.”
“Liar,” Jin chides, “don't try and tell me you haven't been looking forward to this since you found out I was coming to Japan. And don't think I don't know how much of a pervert you are, either.”
They're both accusations that Kazuya finds it hard to deny, especially when Jin's fingertips find one of the magical spots in his back that make him shiver and his eyes fall closed.
Massaging in gentle circles, he continues, “And if you aren't lying, that's really too bad for you, because I was going to give you your Christmas present there.”
Kazuya flutters his eyes open against the gentle touch, and his gaze flickers briefly down to Jin's sides, where he notices he's not brought any bags along with him, and he grows more intrigued as to just what that present might be. As his eyes make their way back up to Jin's face, he gets distracted by the shine of the new globe pendant resting between his collarbones, his own present to him. It had been expensive, and perhaps a little girly, but if Jin had liked it enough to want to put it on right away, he doesn't really care. After looking at it for a moment, their gazes meet again, and Kazuya returns the dark, promising look in Jin's eyes with one of his own. Falling back into step with each other, shoulders brushing occasionally as they walk, they feel a lot more goes unsaid than needs to be spoken, save for Jin quipping, “Knew you were lying.”
“Um, duh~”
~*~*~*~
With the Christmas holidays drawing to a close, life goes back to normal (or at least as normal as life can be with nine people in the house). Dinner becomes an hours-long, rowdy affair as everyone gathers to fight for bigger portions of their favorite foods, tell stories, and pour endless rounds of drinks. Once the food gets cleared away, the cards come out, and there's much shouting and good times to be had once everyone knows the rules to a couple of basic games.
It's not really clear afterwards how it came up, but one night after a few beers, Jin ends up re-telling the story of his family and then relating his and Kazuya's subsequent trip to Kyushu to find out if there was any living trace of his ancestors still left in Japan. Captivated, everyone seated at the table falters in whatever else they're doing to listen, and their eyes turn soft with sympathy as Jin reaches the sad conclusion of his tale. Seated beside him, Kazuya drops his head to his shoulder to provide comfort while his mother reaches across the table to rest a hand over Jin's.
“Why didn't you ever tell us?” she asks, and Jin cringes a little at the note of hurt he hears in her voice.
Turning his wrist a little to gently grip her fingers in his own, he says, “It was a secret from the beginning. My parents still don't know that was why I wanted to come to Japan so badly in the first place, and then after Kazuya and I got back and I knew the truth...I think it was just too painful to share.”
He bows his head a little in apology, but she gives his hand a gentle squeeze before drawing her arm back and telling him it's okay. “Did you have any plans to go back and visit your family's gravesite on this trip?”
Jin shakes his head. “I didn't think there would be enough time.”
His cheeks go red when, in response to that, she clicks her tongue and mutters something that sounds like, “Excuses,” as she rises to clear away the last few empty glasses on the table.
Jin has no idea how she manages to pull it off on such short notice, but the next morning when he wakes up, there's an envelope beside his pillow containing two shinkansen tickets to Fukuoka, departing from Tokyo Station at 6AM the following morning. On the back of the envelope is a line of neat calligraphy that Jin has to poke Kazuya awake to read for him.
Stifling a wide yawn behind his hand and blinking blearily at the envelope, he says, “It's a proverb. It means, 'There's always time for the most important things.'”
They spend a long moment just looking at each other.
They arrive in West Hitoyoshi the following afternoon around the same time as they had before, and the first stop they make is again to the ward office to see Ko so they can thank him again for everything he'd done for them. Except that when they inquire about him at the front desk, the same receptionist who'd helped them before looks forlornly at them and reveals he had passed away not two months prior. “He was this ward's only centenarian. He celebrated his 101st birthday this year.”
Remembering the man's vitality and intellect, Jin can only murmur, “That's incredible,” and the OL nods her agreement.
“A remarkable man has passed out of our lives,” she says. “We all feel his loss here. I can direct you to his gravesite if you'd like to pay your respects in person?”
Kazuya turns to look at Jin, who quickly nods his assent. “Yes, please. We'd like that.”
Taking up a pen, she sketches a simple map of the area on a piece of notepad paper to accompany her verbal instructions. “Just make two quick lefts when you leave, go straight for about four blocks, and then it'll be on your right-hand side. If you pass the flower shop, you've gone too far.”
Jin quickly steps forward to accept the card, and they both bow their gratitude as they exit.
The cemetery is easy to find, but they end up going past it to the flower shop anyway because it seems like the right thing to do. Given the season, the selection is rather limited, but they still manage to find a small white bouquet to lay at Ko's grave and a red one for Jin's great-grandfather's.
It dawns on them on the way back that they might not be able to find Ko's monument if they don't know his full name, but that turns out to not be a problem when they come across a marker with a single character engraved in it. Amused at the find, Kazuya reaches forward to trace the symbol with the tip of his index finger. “He probably wanted it to be like that, huh?”
Straightening again after laying the flowers at the base of the monument, Jin wraps his arms around Kazuya from behind in attempt to shield them both from the cold. “Probably.”
Even with Jin's body pressed to his back and his arms wrapped tightly around his waist, Kazuya continues to shiver, so they both bow their heads and fold their hands in prayer, thanking him again for the help he provided them before turning back for the city center and beyond it, the ryokan.
By the time they get checked into their room, night has already started to fall, and remembering the treacherous route along the canal they have to take to get to Jin's family's property, they decide it might be better to call it a day and get a fresh start in the morning. Although embarrassing at any time of the year, from the perspective of personal safety, falling into a rice paddy is a much bigger deal at the end of December than it is in March.
After gorging on a meal of sashimi and sake (the latter of which they both lament they can't overindulge in), a long soak in the onsen helps relax their travel-weary muscles and draws the chill from their bones. When they're back in their room, their skin pink and warm beneath their kimono, Kazuya, while digging through his bag for his toothbrush, stumbles across something he knows he didn't pack. Which isn't to say that he didn't bring any, just not a whole box of--
“Jin, did you put these condoms in here?”
Jin blinks at the box when Kazuya holds it up from where he's sprawled out on the futon. “Mm, no, I've never seen them before. You mean you didn't pack them?”
Kazuya shakes his head weakly in confusion as he continues to study the box. “No, I...” He trails off for a moment, and a look of horror-filled realization comes over his face. “Oh god!”
He flings the box as far away from him as he possibly can, unfortunately with his pitching arm, which sends it sailing into the opposite wall. One end of the flimsy cardboard bursts open upon impact, sending a rain of foil wrappers to the floor and reminding Jin to never, ever do anything that would make Kazuya want to hit him. “What is it?” he asks, almost a little fearfully when he looks from the remains of the box to his boyfriend's petrified face. “What's wrong?”
“My mother...she...I...how much sex did she think we were going to have?! Ahh, I'll never be able to look her in the eye again!”
Jin crawls along the futon to sit at Kazuya's side and draw his arms around him. “Calm down, she's just being a mom. I bet she just wanted to make sure that however much sex we have, we'll be safe.”
As much as his point makes sense, Kazuya doesn't appear to be listening, instead rummaging through his bag again. “What else did she sneak in here? Ah, of course, there's lube, too. ...Strawberry-flavored?! What? What sorts of things does she think I--”
“--Ah, actually, that one was me. Now if you'll stop freaking out, maybe we could go to bed and put some of that stuff to good use. What do you say?”
Kazuya stops for a moment and considers. “I say you make a good point.”
While Jin retrieves a condom from his wallet (completely bypassing the mother-provided pile on the floor), Kazuya climbs into bed and provocatively loosens the collar of his kimono to expose the nape of his neck, drawing Jin into his arms when he joins him. “...Seriously, though, strawberry?”
Settling comfortably on top of him, eyes bright and excited as he takes in the sight of Kazuya's newfound seductive side making itself known, Jin shrugs a shoulder and starts nipping down the side of his neck. “Never know until you try?”
Kazuya just cups Jin's jaw in both of his hands and shuts him up with a kiss.
21. Holly Brook--All Will Be Forgotten
The next morning dawns bright, clear, and slightly on the warm side for the end of December, which makes them glad they waited and seems to set a good omen for their trip out to visit Jin's family. Weak winter sunlight filters through the branches interwoven over the cemetery, now devoid of their blossoms and most of their leaves.
The remains of the foliage rustle a little underfoot as Jin makes to sit cross-legged in front of his great-grandfather's grave, and Kazuya steps back to give him some time alone when he starts speaking to Akanishi Hitoshi's memory in quiet Japanese. Hands deep in his pockets, Kazuya looks out at the bare forest growing into the side of the mountain, its floor carpeted in varying shades of brown and gold. For sure, the granite and marble monuments rising from the ground lend the place a somber air, but instead of sadness, all Kazuya feels is calm. Having lived his whole life in the suburbs of bustling Tokyo, dead silence unnerves him, but the sound of the wind whistling through the trees, making them sway and creak, provides just enough background noise to keep him relaxed. A deep breath of crisp, mountain air feels fresh and clean in his lungs, and he holds it in for a moment to settle before releasing it again. Warmth spreads through his chest at the thought that for the first time in his life, he feels close to nature, and perhaps even to the gods who supposedly inhabit all living things. A deep sense of serenity seems to settle over him, and he feels as though he's changed and matured as much as the landscape has in the nine months since he'd last been there. There's no doubt in his mind that he's a completely different person now.
An unnaturally loud sound of leaves rustling draws him out of his thoughts, and he goes back to sit at Jin's side when he sees him brushing the leaves away from the base of the grave. Beside the fresh bouquet of scarlet flowers he places there, only a few traces of the paper he'd left behind in the spring remain, every bit of it warped and the ink all but erased by the elements. In response to the distraught expression that comes across Jin's face as he traces his fingertips over the scraps, Kazuya draws an arm around him, thinking himself better at providing comforting gestures than words. So it comes as a surprise to both of them when he suddenly says, “I think that means he read it.”
Jin's brows furrow in confusion at his words, but Kazuya just reaches for his hand to squeeze and continues, “It's all worn away because he read your letter and started crying. Even though his tears of joy washed away your words, they're still recorded here, and I bet he's smiling down at you now, seeing that you've come back.”
Either in response to Kazuya's words or a coincidence, the wind picks up a bit, and the few clouds dotting the sky part to bathe the area in sunlight. Kazuya feels Jin's frame tremble a little, and he moves to wrap his arms more tightly around him, even as his own heart pounds in his chest at the mysterious happening.
“...Do you think he would have ever forgiven my grandparents for running away?”
Kazuya looks into his boyfriend's face, and thinking of all the good that's come out of the hardship to strike Jin's family, he comes to the conclusion that yes, he would have. Instead of voicing that, however, he asks Jin, “What do you think?”
Taking a moment to consider it, Jin eventually lowers his head to nod against Kazuya's temple. “I think he's happy.”
“I think so, too.”
Clouds continue to build as the day goes on, and Jin and Kazuya head back into town when a noticeable chill starts to settle in the air. They brave the cold for a few more hours to see what else there is to do in West Hitoyoshi (the answer, not much, but they do manage to pick out some souvenirs to bring back, as well as some stationery as a present for Kazuya's mother for her getting them the train tickets). However, as the afternoon goes on, the temperature continues to drop in a way that might signal an upcoming storm, so, their shopping done, they hurry back to the ryokan to warm up and unwind in the same manner as they had the night before.
They're set to make the journey back to Tokyo the following day, New Year's Eve, and they're all packed and ready to go when Kazuya's cell phone buzzes with a text message from his mother, informing them that strong storms overnight have knocked out power to the train lines running between Kyushu and Honshu. A few lines of sad emoji accompany the message, as they'd intended to make it back in time for Kōhaku and the family's midnight outing to the shrine, but with this turn of events, it doesn't look like they'll be able to leave until the following day.
Flipping his phone closed with a frown, Kazuya turns to Jin. “So what do you think we should do?”
“You mean instead of celebrate our one-year anniversary at the spot where we first kissed?” It's clear from Jin's tone that he had had a rather romantic evening planned for the two of them, and he isn't at all happy about the weather interfering.
Both amused and touched by Jin's reaction, Kazuya draws his arms around him and drops his head to his shoulder. “I know it's not quite the same, but we can always go to a shrine here. We could find out how to get up to that shrine gate we can see from your family's house-maybe go out to dinner beforehand? There's bound to be a yakiniku restaurant somewhere around here.”
Instead of placating him, however, Kazuya's optimism only seems to irritate Jin further. “Geez, Kazuya, I knew you liked meat, but don't you ever get sick of eating it?”
The slang he drawls out suggests a rude double-meaning, but Kazuya chooses to ignore it. “Yakitori, then?”
“That's pretty much the same thing.”
“Sushi?”
“We've been eating raw fish and rice for the last two days.”
“Sukiyaki?”
That gets Jin's attention, but after a moment's consideration, he says, with the sole intention of being difficult, “It won't be as good as your mom's.”
Smiling, Kazuya tangles their fingers together. “No one's cooking is as good as my mom's. Ah, but it's New Year's Eve-should we find a soba place, then?”
Again, the side of Jin that loves everything traditional Japanese comes out. “Soba sounds perfect.”
After dinner and a few drinks, bundled up in heavy coats borrowed from the ryokan manager, they follow the steep (but thankfully paved) path up to the shrine. Once they leave the lights of the town behind on the ascent, Jin wraps an arm around Kazuya's waist to pull him closer, which sends the younger boy toppling into his shoulder, where he buries his face and giggles his head off.
“And here I thought you'd learn how to hold your liquor after I left,” Jin comments, clearly amused.
More giggling follows, accompanied by affectionate kisses to the side of Jin's throat that make his pace up the mountain slow to a near-stop. Pulling his face away from the slightly chilled skin, Kazuya practically sing-songs, “Nah, I guess I'm weak to it. Just like you~”
Jin snorts. “Last I checked, I'm pretty strong with alcohol. At least I'm not falling all over the place after two cups of sake.”
“No, dummy, I meant I'm weak to you, too~”
The darkness hides Jin's blush from view, but it can't extinguish his smile. “God, I hope you're sober by the time we get to the top.”
Kazuya just giggles again.
Once they reach the summit, they still have a while to wait before it turns midnight, but they pass it pleasantly, first exploring the area and then huddling close together for warmth. When a quick check to Kazuya's cell phone signals it's getting close to time, they move from the shadow of the main building to make their offerings and bow their silent prayers to the altar. Kazuya performs the standard one for his family, and after Jin takes his turn, clasping their hands, they come together to say a few words in Ko and Akanishi Hitoshi's memory.
At the sound of a single temple bell cutting through the silence, presumably from atop an adjacent peak, they both start a little and draw closer to each other, the movement almost automatic. As it sounds, Jin wraps his arms tightly around Kazuya's waist and says, almost a little nervously, “Well, here we are.”
Kazuya shows him a warm smile and reaches a hand up to brush a stray lock of hair away from Jin's face before draping both his arms lightly around his neck. “Happy anniversary.”
“Happy New Year.”
Their lips meet in a gentle kiss, and they stay like that long after the final toll of the bell fades, restoring silence to the calm winter night.
~*~*~*~
22. The Velvet Underground--I'm Sticking With You
It's hard seeing Jin off at the airport, but not nearly as much as it had been the first time. Jin hugs everyone in turn, coming to Kazuya last, and, their feelings for each other re-confirmed, they part following a tight embrace, one last soft kiss, and only a few tears shed between them.
When Jin gets home, they talk on Skype more often, and Kazuya launches himself into his next school term with more determination than ever, even deciding not to renew the contract he has with the club team when the thought that what he tentatively has planned for his future might work out spurs him on. He's not giving up baseball by any means-he's still putting himself through the rigorous conditioning exercises and working his arm on a regular basis, just without the pressures of a formal team eating away at his extra time and sanity. He doesn't tell Jin what he's done, even though the other can see through his webcam that he's clearly healthier than he had been, and he delights in that, but exactly what his master plan is, Kazuya can't reveal yet.
The subject of his studies had come up a few times while Jin had been visiting, but Kazuya had been able to defer by saying that he didn't want to think about it if he was on break. Although there had been truth to that, it was more that he hadn't wanted Jin to find out that instead of a traditional four-year university, he'd been taking intensive English classes in hopes that he would be able to play baseball in America. It was a long-shot to be sure, but he'd already received an offer, and that had perhaps been the most important step.
What Kōji had said to him the previous summer about going after what he wants has stuck with him, and what he wants is baseball and to be with Jin. He never would have expected an opportunity to seize both at the same time to fall into his lap, but it has, and he's been working for almost a year now to ensure that he can take advantage of it. At the very end of last summer, a flier had come from the minor league division of the American major leagues, looking to recruit young Japanese talent. When he'd seen it, Kazuya had had Kōji send e-mails to the managers of all the minor league teams in the Los Angeles area, begging for a tryout. After viewing some of his film and statistics, the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes (perhaps the weirdest team name Kazuya had ever heard of, but they were affiliated with the LA Dodgers, and that was what mattered) had accepted, flown over to see him play, and made him an offer on the condition that he know a fair amount of English by the time he'd have to fly to California to join the team. Kazuya had gotten himself signed up for English classes the next day and mailed the paperwork proving so by the end of the week.
Now all he has left to do is tell Jin, which he decides to do at the last possible moment to surprise him. Standing outside the baggage claim at the LA airport, all of his belongings packed up in suitcases and stacked on a cart, he finds a pay phone, drops some coins in, and dials a number. After three rings, a familiar voice picks up.
“Yo, 's is Jin.”
Kazuya's heart pounds in his chest as he says, in English, “Hi, Jin. This is Kazuya.”
“Oh, hey, Kazu-whoa, what the hell, you're speaking English!”
Kazuya laughs nervously into the phone, Jin's reply coming across as an indecipherable babble until he'd caught the word 'English' at the end. “Yes, I am speaking English. I am at the airport.” A wave of panic comes over him when he realizes he can't remember what he had planned to say next after practicing it for the entirety of the eleven hour plane ride.
In his moment of hesitation, Jin starts speaking again, quickly, and switching into Japanese. “Which one? Narita? What are you doing there? And why were you speaking English just now?! Wait, what number are you calling from, anyway?”
Kazuya switches to Japanese, too, when it doesn't seem like Jin's going to figure it out. “I'm not in Tokyo, I'm at LAX! International arrivals terminal. Come get me!”
Jin says something garbled in response, not recognizable as either language, and then the line goes dead. Kazuya hangs up the receiver and takes a deep breath. When Jin gets there, there's no doubt that he'll have a million questions for him, maybe more than enough to fill the car ride from the airport, regardless of how far away Jin lives or how bad the LA traffic will be (just as bad as in Tokyo, if not worse, is what Kazuya's heard). Beyond that, he really has no idea what's going to happen. He could stay in America with Jin long enough to build the baseball career he's always wanted and learn to speak English fluently (with a perfect Southern California accent, even), or he could end up back home in just a few months, defeated by his ambitions and back at square one with his life. The real outcome will probably be somewhere between the two extremes, but the uncertainty still sends a chill running down his back despite the late August heat.
First things first, he thinks, overcoming the nervousness he feels to push his luggage cart outside the terminal, where he'll wait for Jin at the curb. A gust of wind lifts the long strands of his hair from the nape of his neck as he passes through the automatic sliding doors, and he has to squint against the late summer sun to peer into the windshields of the passing cars, hoping to find Jin behind the wheel of one of them. It's a waiting game that wreaks havoc on his nerves, but eventually a speedy-looking black car weaves between the lanes of bus and taxi traffic (not without a few screeches of tires and long blares of a couple different car horns, all of which the driver seems to ignore) to pull up to the curb in front of him. Kazuya's heart beats double-time in his chest when Jin emerges from the driver's side, looking adorably disheveled and the tiniest bit stressed out, undoubtedly in his haste to get there.
Their gazes meet then, Kazuya looking shy while Jin looks at him as though he doesn't believe he's really there. The tip of Kazuya's tongue pokes out to run over his lower lip as Jin slowly circles around the front of the car to approach him. Kazuya's about to tell him they'll probably get in trouble if they leave the car idling there too long when Jin's strong arms wrap around his skinny frame, and all thoughts of speaking fade away as he returns the embrace.
There are certainly a lot of details they'll need to work out and even more unknown challenges on the road ahead, but in the meantime, life is happening, and Kazuya's not about to let it pass him by.
~*~*~*~
Jin hooks up to Skype with his webcam for the first time at the beginning of September, almost a year to the day since he first landed in Japan, and after a quick message to Kazuya to let him know that after being home for almost a month, he finally, finally has Internet access again, they arrange a time to talk. The first thing he sees when the video loads on Kazuya's end is him leaning back in his desk chair, his bright blue LA Dodgers cap sitting atop long brown hair that falls just short of brushing his shoulders, and the tell-tale outline of thick ice packs beneath the right sleeve of his t-shirt. He had intended to greet Kazuya with, “Good morning,” in Japanese, considering his computer tells him that it's just after 6AM in Tokyo, whereas it's two in the afternoon in L.A., but in response to his appearance, he smiles broadly, saying instead, “How'd you do yesterday?”
There's a bit of a delay due to the connection, but after a moment, Jin sees Kazuya return the smile. “7 and 2/3 innings. It was lights-out ball until I hit my pitch count. I wanted to stay in, but the manager's resting all of the starters this month because we've already clinched a spot in the post-season, so he'll need us strong then.”
“You know my Japanese has never been good enough to understand the details of your baseball mumbo-jumbo, but I think I got the gist of that. Good job, and good luck with the rest of the season, yeah? Fight-o, fight-o, do your best, and all that.”
Kazuya nods and shows the screen a big thumbs-up.
Jin leans forward to return the gesture, but he soon abandons it to rub his hands over the nape of his neck, his smile fading into a sheepish look as he rests his elbows on the edge of his desk. “Sorry it took me so long to contact you after I got home.”
His face shifting into a jumble of emotions when the apology comes through, Kazuya looks away from the screen. “I was worried,” is all he has to say to that.
“I know, and I'm sorry. First I was jet-lagged, and then I had to hurry to find somewhere to live because I had to go back to school right away, and...yeah. It's just been a nightmare.” Jin lowers his head resting on his arms a bit more, as if trying to show the computer a bow. “So how have you been?”
Kazuya fidgets in his chair and turns to look at something else in the distance, this time on the opposite side of the screen. “Pretty good, I guess. Kōji's home now, which is nice. I swear, every time he says something now, he starts with, 'When I was in LA...' It was pretty funny at first, but it's starting to get kind of annoying. Oh, but-”
“I've been doing that, too! Saying 'Japan' instead of 'LA,' obviously, but...yeah. Everyone keeps asking me if I met any Japanese girls while I was over there. I'm not sure what to tell them.” He means for it to come off as a joke, but the way a small, forced smile comes to Kazuya's lips, he thinks it may have fallen flat.
“Speaking of which,” Kazuya says, seemingly eager to change the topic, “do you know anyone named Amy at your school?”
Jin shakes his head. “Don't think so. Why?”
Kazuya's smile widens a bit. “In that case, I'm sure you will soon. Amy is my brother's fiancee, and he said he was going to tell her about you, so don't be surprised if she comes up to you on campus and introduces herself. From what I understand, she's sweet, funny, beautiful, brunette, and very taken, so Kōji will kick your ass through the webcam if you try anything on her. His words, not mine, but still. Even if you are single now...”
Jin doesn't miss the sad turn of Kazuya's voice towards the end of what he says. “I see. About that, actually...”
Panic suddenly registers on Kazuya's features, only to fade into what appears to be very controlled slight interest. “Oh...have you found someone?”
Except that's not what Jin had meant to imply at all. “Actually, I've been telling everyone I'm already in a relationship. With you.”
For a long time, Kazuya just sits and stares at the screen. If Jin looks closely, he imagines he can see the neurons firing behind his eyes, trying to process what he'd heard and perhaps wondering if a (rare by the time Jin had left Japan, but still occasional) breakdown in Japanese listening comprehension made Jin misunderstand the circumstances under which they had said goodbye.
But no. Jin understands perfectly that they'd agreed to break up back at the end of July. The problem is that he hasn't been able to get over him, and he's stopped trying since he realized he didn't want to. He tells Kazuya as much, admitting, “I still love you, Kazuya. I know it because even being 7000 miles away from you hurts less than the idea of not having you in my life at all. If you don't feel the same and you want to move on, I'll understand, but...I'd really like it if we could give this a try. It'll be hard, I know, but like I said, I'd rather be apart from you but know I still have you than be without you.” Jin bites on his lip, feeling his cheeks heat at the thought that he's laying everything and all of himself on the line waiting for Kazuya's response.
Halfway around the world, Kazuya buries his face in both hands and lets out a long sigh, something like a clipped laugh coming out at the end of it. The sound gives Jin a bit of hope, opening the possibility in his mind that maybe Kazuya's been waiting over a month to hear those exact words.
When he lowers his hands, Kazuya's smiling widely, his eyes shining with happiness and perhaps the first hints of tears. “I love you, too, Jin. The last month has been hell for me, not knowing what to do about you. I didn't want to let you go then, and I still don't. I want to try and make this work.”
Overwhelmed by happiness, Jin reaches forward to brush his fingertips across Kazuya's picture on the screen, pretending he's cupping his jaw or knocking his Dodgers cap off to run his fingers through his hair. “We'll make it work.”
Answering with a nod of his head, Kazuya echoes his sentiment. “Even if we have to limit ourselves to awkward webcam sex until one of us can make the trip over, we'll make it work.”
Jin laughs so hard he almost falls out of his chair. “God, I've missed you. But yeah, we'll figure it out. Actually, uh...I hate to cut this short, but I promised some of my friends I'd meet them for dinner. Can I show them your picture?”
An emphatic nod comes from the other end of the connection. “Only if it's a good one, though.”
Jin laughs again, vaguely realizing that his cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling so much. “Of course. Ah, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, though?”
“Of course.” As he says, “I love you,” Kazuya blows Jin a kiss, and he won't let him leave until he does it back.
Even though they're sixteen hours apart, it doesn't feel like it to either Jin or Kazuya as they spend the rest of their respective evening and morning in a happy daze.
After that first video call, they make a point of talking on Skype as frequently as possible, which, between their schedules, typically means once a week-always around the same time to guarantee they'll have quite a while to talk. They talk about all kinds of things, happy, sad, and frustrating alike, but it's rare one of them has something to report that has a direct impact on their relationship until Kazuya starts one conversation by dropping the bombshell, “I told my parents about us.”
At first, Jin doesn't know how to react to this news, but he reads from the troubled expression on Kazuya's face that this could be something worth worrying about, and suddenly, it feels like a giant ice cube has settled in his stomach. “Oh... How did they...um... How did they take it?”
Without warning, Kazuya throws his arms in the air. The sudden shrillness in his voice comes through Jin's speakers as feedback, and he has to lower the volume on his laptop to hear him properly. “Would you believe they already knew?! They knew the whole time and never said anything!”
“Oh,” Jin says again, intelligently. His face flushes when he gives it thought and he realizes that he and Kazuya were really the ignorant ones when for months they thought they'd been successful in their efforts to keep Kazuya's parents in the dark. He notices his voice going a bit thinner, too, as he asks, “Um...how much do they know, exactly?”
He can see Kazuya blushing, too, despite over 7000 physical miles and fluctuating amounts of pixellation on his video feed. “Well...okay, here's what happened. I went to go tell them, right? And the first thing they said to me was, 'Did you really think we didn't know? You two were never really subtle about it.'” He pauses for a moment in his retelling to give Jin a look that clearly says he thought they'd been very subtle about it, and given how much hiding they'd had to do, Jin's inclined to agree. He opens his mouth to tell Kazuya so, but he gets cut off when the other suddenly launches back into his narrative.
“And I thought, you know, by that they meant that they'd heard us, and my face got all red, but no, they just meant that they thought we always looked a little bit too close to just be friends, but then they stopped and asked me what I thought they'd meant, and, well...I didn't come out and say it, but it didn't take them long to figure it out, and...”
He stops again to let out a deep sigh before continuing, which helps calm his voice at first, but the shrill tint slowly works its way back in as he keeps telling the story, making it clear that he doesn't feel he's going to be able to live down the embarrassment of what happened for a long time. “They weren't mad that we lied and tried to hide it, only that we didn't come out and tell them about it before doing...that under their roof. Then they asked if that's what we, and I quote, 'ran away to Kyushu for,' and I tried to tell them no, that was strictly for sight-seeing, but they still didn't believe me, and just...gah.”
As unfunny as what Kazuya's telling him is, the sight of him miming pulling his own hair out in frustration brings a small smile to his face. It fades a bit, though, when Kazuya lets out a sigh, and the tone of his voice comes out somewhere between resigned and resentful as he brings the relating of events to a close. “So...yeah, now I'm grounded from going out, but there's no way I'm going to stick to that. They can't stop me from doing what I want to do.” The tips of his ears go red as he falls silent suddenly, and Jin wonders when Kazuya's ever found anything baseball-related embarrassing before. “Anyway, I just thought I should let you know. But I should probably get downstairs and help with the chores before I get grounded from going to baseball practice, too.”
“I...okay,” Jin says weakly, still reeling from all of the information Kazuya had rattled off at him. “Love you.”
Kazuya smiles and says it back before disconnecting the call.
~*~*~*~
The next few times they talk, Jin notices something changing about Kazuya. Instead of just groggy, which he'd expect anyone to be at six in the morning, Kazuya seems completely exhausted, as though he's only running on a few hours of sleep each night. At first, Jin thinks it's the change in seasons getting to him or that he's coming down with something, but instead of clearing up, the color of the dark circles now constantly visible beneath his eyes only grows deeper. Every time they hang up, Jin tells him that he's worried about him and that he needs to take care of himself, and even though every time Kazuya answers with a nod and assures him that he will, he never seems to get any better. When a couple more weeks go by and Kazuya starts sleeping through the alarm he sets for himself to ensure he gets up in time for them to talk, Jin gets angry. He's going to demand to know what's going on and why Kazuya's keeping things from him.
Except the next time they connect, it's obvious Kazuya has taken down with something, and the sight of him curled up in his chair in a heavy blanket, his eyes dull and bleary with fever is about the most miserable thing Jin thinks he's ever seen, and he sends him back to bed with the assurance that they can talk when he's feeling better.
The following week, it seems Kazuya taking ill has done him a world of good, as he looks healthier and more rested than Jin thinks he's seen him in months. His physically looking better doesn't mean he's off the hook for being so secretive about the strain that's been put on him lately, though. While in the past Jin's gotten him to admit things like, “I've just got a lot on my plate right now,” and, “There's a lot of things going on that are keeping me busy,” after a few choice words about the importance of trust and honesty in a relationship, he finally gets a straight answer out of him.
“The truth is, I've been going back to school.” It's clear from Jin's expression and his silence that that's not the answer he'd been expecting, so he continues, “I figured just in case something goes wrong and a baseball career doesn't work out, it'd be good if I had more to show for myself than just a high school diploma.”
Instead of assuaging his concerns, Kazuya's answer only worries him more. In all the time they've spent together, he's never heard Kazuya express any kind of doubt that someday he would be a professional baseball player. “Oh. Is that something you feel you need to be worried about?”
Kazuya just shrugs a shoulder. “There haven't been as many scouts around, and I guess my parents telling me for years that I need to make sure I have a back-up plan is finally starting to sink in. A bit late, which is why it's been so hard for me to do both, but I'm managing. I've already gotten through most of one semester, and there's a short break after New Year's before the start of the next term, so I'll have a chance to rest up.”
“If that's all it is,” Jin starts, the tone of his voice bordering on threatening in case there's something else Kazuya feels he needs to tell him, “I guess there's not much that can be done. Just please take care, okay? Christ, Kazuya, I thought you had caught some rare illness that was slowly killing you from how horrible you looked. It killed me not knowing. Why did you feel you had to hide that from me in the first place?”
Kazuya squirms a little in his chair. “I was embarrassed. I never thought school was important because I was so focused on baseball, and now, realizing I might have been wrong to think that way...I felt dumb. And I don't want to feel dumb in front of you or anyone, really, so I tried to keep it a secret. I'm sorry I worried you. I love you, and I shouldn't have done that.”
Hearing the full extent of his apology, Jin feels his anger start to abate. “It's all right, Kazuya. I'm just glad you're feeling better.” He pauses for a moment for dramatic effect when he senses an opportunity to reveal the ace he's been hiding up his sleeve. “Study hard and catch up on your sleep, okay? I won't be pleased if you're sleeping the whole time I'm in Japan to visit you.”
A smirk finds its way to his lips as he watches the repetitive, owlish blink of Kazuya's eyes, knowing he's trying to wrap his head around what he just heard. “Say that again?”
“I said I'm coming to visit you.” His smirk widens into an all-out grin when he pulls out his plane tickets to wave them back and forth in front of the screen.
Kazuya's eyes follow them as though in wonder, and then when the information sinks in, he claps his hands excitedly and bounces a little in his chair. From how he's seated in the swivel chair, Jin can just see the movement of his legs as he presumably stomps his feet under the desk, too. “Really?! You're shitting me, right? How? When?!”
The excitement he sees lighting up Kazuya's eyes makes Jin wish more than ever that they were together so he could kiss him, and he even finds himself leaning in a little. His tone turns soft and affectionate as he says, “'How' is a very generous gift from my parents, and 'when' is for Christmas and New Year's. I fly in the 22nd and go home on the 4th. So I'll be there almost two weeks. I already e-mailed your parents about it, and they said it's okay.”
To his surprise, Kazuya's expression falls a little. “Wait, you mean I'm the last one to know?”
Jin sputters. “That's what makes it a surprise, stupid. Can't you just be happy I'm coming instead of worrying about the details?!”
Kazuya stubbornly purses his lips. “But I was going to go run through the house proclaiming the news to everyone! Now I'll just look stupid if I do that. ...I might still do it, anyway, though, and I don't care if they laugh at me for it, because oh my god, you're coming to visit, yay!”
A peal of fond laughter escapes Jin's throat as Kazuya goes into another round of excited clapping and stomping. “You're such a dork. A dork whom I can't wait to see, though.”
The warmth of Jin's voice and the soft smile playing over his lips bring Kazuya down from his high a little bit. “I can't wait to see you, either. You know I'll be counting down the days. Do you need us to come pick you up from the airport?”
Jin props his elbow on the desk to rest his head on the upturned heel of his palm, and they both smile when he says casually, “Nah, I know my way around.”
A quiet moment passes between them, the promise of getting to see each other again making them feel closer than ever. Kazuya reaches forward to touch the screen with his fingertips, and Jin does the same. “I love you, Kazuya,” Jin says tenderly, which draws a shy smile and a faint blush to the other's cheeks. “Now go run through the house and wake everyone up with the news while I go get ready for class.”
Kazuya laughs a little. “Yeah, all right.” He tells him he loves him back, and then the brightest smile Jin thinks he's seen since he's been home comes to his face as he says, “I'll see you soon.”
“Yeah,” he answers, and the image of Kazuya's smile remains burned in his memory long after he disconnects the call.
~*~*~*~
20. Goong OST--A Dancing Teddy
Completely by coincidence, Kōji's fiancee Amy flys to Tokyo for the holiday as well, and she and Jin end up taking the same train from the airport to Edogawa. When they arrive together at the Kamenashi residence, they break away from their English chatter for Jin to shout out, “I'm home!” in Japanese, and all hell breaks loose as the whole family rushes to the genkan to greet them. Amy lets out a happy squeak when she catches sight of Kōji and rushes into his arms, and Jin feels his heart do a flip-flop in his chest when Kazuya does the same to him (but without the squeaking). Feeling lighter and happier than he has in months, he squeezes the boy as tightly as he can, but lets out a surprised, protesting sound when warm lips press forcefully to his. He pulls back feeling dazed; apparently Kazuya isn't worried about his parents' reactions anymore. The sight of Kōji lifting Amy up to spin her around makes him laugh joyfully, and he buries his face in Kazuya's hair as he embraces him once more.
The party eventually moves to the kitchen, and Jin and Kazuya don't stray far from each other's sides as laughter and sake cups get passed around. Even though it isn't quite Christmas yet and there's no precedent in Japan for celebrating the holiday the way he would at home, it certainly feels like it to Jin, with the whole family gathered to pass hours talking, eating, and drinking together. It's such a pleasant feeling that he doesn't even mind when Kazuya's older brothers tag-team to grill him about their relationship. Only the holiday season can make threats of castration and dismemberment seem lighthearted. A smirk on his lips, he turns the tables on Kōji by warning him that he and Amy have become pretty close friends back at home, and that he'll do the same to him if he does anything to hurt her. It doesn't take long for the two of them to reach an understanding.
Obligatory over-protective sibling threats over with, the atmosphere turns cheerful again, and Jin strikes up a conversation with Kōji about his year abroad at UCLA, the volume of their voices steadily rising as they catalog shared experiences. They lose Yuichirō's attention when they switch into English, and he focuses instead on running gentle circles over the inside of his wife Naomi's wrist where her hands curl protectively over the slight bump to her stomach. Eyes closed and one side of her mouth turning upwards in a smile, she looks the perfect image of serenity, even when her mother-in-law comes over to remind her of the importance of getting enough folate in her diet and not spending too much time on her feet. Across the room, Kazuya and his father laugh uproariously at Yuya's attempts to speak English with Amy, and the youngest squawks, “Like either of you could do any better!” The Kamenashi household has never before felt full to bursting with so much love.
As much as Jin would love to keep talking to Kōji about LA, America in general, and some of the struggles of being in long-distance relationships, eventually both jet lag and the mere exhaustion of traveling start to catch up with him, and he has to announce that he's going to call it a night. Kazuya abandons his conversation with Yuya and rises, too. “I'll help you get settled in,” he says, and he promptly ignores the round of teasing he gets from his family members when his hand grips gently at Jin's elbow to lead him upstairs.
Leaving the sounds of the party behind, their lips find each other the moment they ascend the top step, and the handle of Jin's suitcase drops as, stumbling a little, they find their way to the nearest wall. “Thought you were tired,” Kazuya teases when Jin lets out a quiet groan at the sensation of their mouths moving together.
“I am,” he answers, keeping a tight grip on Kazuya's narrow waist to not lose the feeling of the lines of his body pressed firmly against his own after so long apart, “but not enough that I can't greet you properly.” After dropping another kiss to Kazuya's slightly swollen lips, Jin whispers, “I missed you,” against them and moves to pull him into what had once been their bedroom.
Breath hitching at the ghosting sensation of Jin's words over his mouth, Kazuya doesn't put up much resistance until they're both inside and he turns to lock the door. “...Oh, right.” Unlocking it again, he whirls around to look at Jin, who's staring at the four futons laid out on the floor. Sensing his confusion, he explains, “The house only has three bedrooms, so we're sharing this one with Kōji and Amy. Yuichirō and Naomi have Yuya's, and Yuya's on the couch. The only reason my parents agreed to this arrangement at all is because I promised there wouldn't be any 'funny business' while you were here, but, um...Kōji and I kind of have an arrangement, too, so...” He trails off with a wink and stacks the two extra futon in the corner. “We won't be needing those~” Falling into bed next to Jin with a happy sigh, he says, “Brothers are awesome, aren't they?”
Jin just laughs and curls his arm around Kazuya's waist again. “Yeah...you've got some good ones.”
Following soft, slow goodnight kisses and a murmured exchange of 'I love you's in the dark, it doesn't take either of them long to fall asleep wrapped up in each other's embrace.
~*~*~*~
After spending all of the 23rd trying to adjust to the time change, going to see Emperor Akihito on his birthday at the Imperial Palace, and buying last minute Christmas presents, Christmas Eve comes quickly, and the atmosphere throughout the house turns romantic in anticipation of night falling.
The weather far too cold for a meal under the bridge, Jin and Kazuya go instead for Korean barbecue, eating at a restaurant that stands in place of the yakiniku establishment they had gone to the year before (where Jin registers his disappointment that the staff members come out and cook the meat for them instead of letting them do it themselves). Stuffed full of kim chi and sweet rice cakes, they try to keep their voices down as they stroll, but it's hard to keep their intentions a secret when they look as dreamy as every other couple out on the street.
When they turn off the main road for a somewhat quieter one, Kazuya lets his hand brush the inside of Jin's wrist. “Ne, I wonder how my parents feel, sitting home alone eating fried chicken in front of the TV and knowing at least three of their sons are getting laid tonight.”
Jin sputters with quiet laughter, and he briefly tangles their fingers together as he lowers his head to Kazuya's. “How do you know that's what they're doing? They could be up to something else, you know.”
In response to the curious tone of Jin's reply, for a moment a glimpse of the virginal boy Jin first met comes back to Kazuya's face, looking at him first in confusion and then in horror when he realizes what he's getting at. Lips floundering for a second, he eventually spits out, “That's sick!” and gives Jin a hard shove, which to his eternal frustration only makes the other burst out laughing. Feeling his cheeks flame, Kazuya crosses his arms over his chest and moves away when Jin tries to reconcile by stroking his long fingers over the back of his shoulder. With a disdainful sniff, he tilts his slightly crooked nose skyward and says, “I don't think I want to go to the love hotel with you anymore.”
“Liar,” Jin chides, “don't try and tell me you haven't been looking forward to this since you found out I was coming to Japan. And don't think I don't know how much of a pervert you are, either.”
They're both accusations that Kazuya finds it hard to deny, especially when Jin's fingertips find one of the magical spots in his back that make him shiver and his eyes fall closed.
Massaging in gentle circles, he continues, “And if you aren't lying, that's really too bad for you, because I was going to give you your Christmas present there.”
Kazuya flutters his eyes open against the gentle touch, and his gaze flickers briefly down to Jin's sides, where he notices he's not brought any bags along with him, and he grows more intrigued as to just what that present might be. As his eyes make their way back up to Jin's face, he gets distracted by the shine of the new globe pendant resting between his collarbones, his own present to him. It had been expensive, and perhaps a little girly, but if Jin had liked it enough to want to put it on right away, he doesn't really care. After looking at it for a moment, their gazes meet again, and Kazuya returns the dark, promising look in Jin's eyes with one of his own. Falling back into step with each other, shoulders brushing occasionally as they walk, they feel a lot more goes unsaid than needs to be spoken, save for Jin quipping, “Knew you were lying.”
“Um, duh~”
~*~*~*~
With the Christmas holidays drawing to a close, life goes back to normal (or at least as normal as life can be with nine people in the house). Dinner becomes an hours-long, rowdy affair as everyone gathers to fight for bigger portions of their favorite foods, tell stories, and pour endless rounds of drinks. Once the food gets cleared away, the cards come out, and there's much shouting and good times to be had once everyone knows the rules to a couple of basic games.
It's not really clear afterwards how it came up, but one night after a few beers, Jin ends up re-telling the story of his family and then relating his and Kazuya's subsequent trip to Kyushu to find out if there was any living trace of his ancestors still left in Japan. Captivated, everyone seated at the table falters in whatever else they're doing to listen, and their eyes turn soft with sympathy as Jin reaches the sad conclusion of his tale. Seated beside him, Kazuya drops his head to his shoulder to provide comfort while his mother reaches across the table to rest a hand over Jin's.
“Why didn't you ever tell us?” she asks, and Jin cringes a little at the note of hurt he hears in her voice.
Turning his wrist a little to gently grip her fingers in his own, he says, “It was a secret from the beginning. My parents still don't know that was why I wanted to come to Japan so badly in the first place, and then after Kazuya and I got back and I knew the truth...I think it was just too painful to share.”
He bows his head a little in apology, but she gives his hand a gentle squeeze before drawing her arm back and telling him it's okay. “Did you have any plans to go back and visit your family's gravesite on this trip?”
Jin shakes his head. “I didn't think there would be enough time.”
His cheeks go red when, in response to that, she clicks her tongue and mutters something that sounds like, “Excuses,” as she rises to clear away the last few empty glasses on the table.
Jin has no idea how she manages to pull it off on such short notice, but the next morning when he wakes up, there's an envelope beside his pillow containing two shinkansen tickets to Fukuoka, departing from Tokyo Station at 6AM the following morning. On the back of the envelope is a line of neat calligraphy that Jin has to poke Kazuya awake to read for him.
Stifling a wide yawn behind his hand and blinking blearily at the envelope, he says, “It's a proverb. It means, 'There's always time for the most important things.'”
They spend a long moment just looking at each other.
They arrive in West Hitoyoshi the following afternoon around the same time as they had before, and the first stop they make is again to the ward office to see Ko so they can thank him again for everything he'd done for them. Except that when they inquire about him at the front desk, the same receptionist who'd helped them before looks forlornly at them and reveals he had passed away not two months prior. “He was this ward's only centenarian. He celebrated his 101st birthday this year.”
Remembering the man's vitality and intellect, Jin can only murmur, “That's incredible,” and the OL nods her agreement.
“A remarkable man has passed out of our lives,” she says. “We all feel his loss here. I can direct you to his gravesite if you'd like to pay your respects in person?”
Kazuya turns to look at Jin, who quickly nods his assent. “Yes, please. We'd like that.”
Taking up a pen, she sketches a simple map of the area on a piece of notepad paper to accompany her verbal instructions. “Just make two quick lefts when you leave, go straight for about four blocks, and then it'll be on your right-hand side. If you pass the flower shop, you've gone too far.”
Jin quickly steps forward to accept the card, and they both bow their gratitude as they exit.
The cemetery is easy to find, but they end up going past it to the flower shop anyway because it seems like the right thing to do. Given the season, the selection is rather limited, but they still manage to find a small white bouquet to lay at Ko's grave and a red one for Jin's great-grandfather's.
It dawns on them on the way back that they might not be able to find Ko's monument if they don't know his full name, but that turns out to not be a problem when they come across a marker with a single character engraved in it. Amused at the find, Kazuya reaches forward to trace the symbol with the tip of his index finger. “He probably wanted it to be like that, huh?”
Straightening again after laying the flowers at the base of the monument, Jin wraps his arms around Kazuya from behind in attempt to shield them both from the cold. “Probably.”
Even with Jin's body pressed to his back and his arms wrapped tightly around his waist, Kazuya continues to shiver, so they both bow their heads and fold their hands in prayer, thanking him again for the help he provided them before turning back for the city center and beyond it, the ryokan.
By the time they get checked into their room, night has already started to fall, and remembering the treacherous route along the canal they have to take to get to Jin's family's property, they decide it might be better to call it a day and get a fresh start in the morning. Although embarrassing at any time of the year, from the perspective of personal safety, falling into a rice paddy is a much bigger deal at the end of December than it is in March.
After gorging on a meal of sashimi and sake (the latter of which they both lament they can't overindulge in), a long soak in the onsen helps relax their travel-weary muscles and draws the chill from their bones. When they're back in their room, their skin pink and warm beneath their kimono, Kazuya, while digging through his bag for his toothbrush, stumbles across something he knows he didn't pack. Which isn't to say that he didn't bring any, just not a whole box of--
“Jin, did you put these condoms in here?”
Jin blinks at the box when Kazuya holds it up from where he's sprawled out on the futon. “Mm, no, I've never seen them before. You mean you didn't pack them?”
Kazuya shakes his head weakly in confusion as he continues to study the box. “No, I...” He trails off for a moment, and a look of horror-filled realization comes over his face. “Oh god!”
He flings the box as far away from him as he possibly can, unfortunately with his pitching arm, which sends it sailing into the opposite wall. One end of the flimsy cardboard bursts open upon impact, sending a rain of foil wrappers to the floor and reminding Jin to never, ever do anything that would make Kazuya want to hit him. “What is it?” he asks, almost a little fearfully when he looks from the remains of the box to his boyfriend's petrified face. “What's wrong?”
“My mother...she...I...how much sex did she think we were going to have?! Ahh, I'll never be able to look her in the eye again!”
Jin crawls along the futon to sit at Kazuya's side and draw his arms around him. “Calm down, she's just being a mom. I bet she just wanted to make sure that however much sex we have, we'll be safe.”
As much as his point makes sense, Kazuya doesn't appear to be listening, instead rummaging through his bag again. “What else did she sneak in here? Ah, of course, there's lube, too. ...Strawberry-flavored?! What? What sorts of things does she think I--”
“--Ah, actually, that one was me. Now if you'll stop freaking out, maybe we could go to bed and put some of that stuff to good use. What do you say?”
Kazuya stops for a moment and considers. “I say you make a good point.”
While Jin retrieves a condom from his wallet (completely bypassing the mother-provided pile on the floor), Kazuya climbs into bed and provocatively loosens the collar of his kimono to expose the nape of his neck, drawing Jin into his arms when he joins him. “...Seriously, though, strawberry?”
Settling comfortably on top of him, eyes bright and excited as he takes in the sight of Kazuya's newfound seductive side making itself known, Jin shrugs a shoulder and starts nipping down the side of his neck. “Never know until you try?”
Kazuya just cups Jin's jaw in both of his hands and shuts him up with a kiss.
21. Holly Brook--All Will Be Forgotten
The next morning dawns bright, clear, and slightly on the warm side for the end of December, which makes them glad they waited and seems to set a good omen for their trip out to visit Jin's family. Weak winter sunlight filters through the branches interwoven over the cemetery, now devoid of their blossoms and most of their leaves.
The remains of the foliage rustle a little underfoot as Jin makes to sit cross-legged in front of his great-grandfather's grave, and Kazuya steps back to give him some time alone when he starts speaking to Akanishi Hitoshi's memory in quiet Japanese. Hands deep in his pockets, Kazuya looks out at the bare forest growing into the side of the mountain, its floor carpeted in varying shades of brown and gold. For sure, the granite and marble monuments rising from the ground lend the place a somber air, but instead of sadness, all Kazuya feels is calm. Having lived his whole life in the suburbs of bustling Tokyo, dead silence unnerves him, but the sound of the wind whistling through the trees, making them sway and creak, provides just enough background noise to keep him relaxed. A deep breath of crisp, mountain air feels fresh and clean in his lungs, and he holds it in for a moment to settle before releasing it again. Warmth spreads through his chest at the thought that for the first time in his life, he feels close to nature, and perhaps even to the gods who supposedly inhabit all living things. A deep sense of serenity seems to settle over him, and he feels as though he's changed and matured as much as the landscape has in the nine months since he'd last been there. There's no doubt in his mind that he's a completely different person now.
An unnaturally loud sound of leaves rustling draws him out of his thoughts, and he goes back to sit at Jin's side when he sees him brushing the leaves away from the base of the grave. Beside the fresh bouquet of scarlet flowers he places there, only a few traces of the paper he'd left behind in the spring remain, every bit of it warped and the ink all but erased by the elements. In response to the distraught expression that comes across Jin's face as he traces his fingertips over the scraps, Kazuya draws an arm around him, thinking himself better at providing comforting gestures than words. So it comes as a surprise to both of them when he suddenly says, “I think that means he read it.”
Jin's brows furrow in confusion at his words, but Kazuya just reaches for his hand to squeeze and continues, “It's all worn away because he read your letter and started crying. Even though his tears of joy washed away your words, they're still recorded here, and I bet he's smiling down at you now, seeing that you've come back.”
Either in response to Kazuya's words or a coincidence, the wind picks up a bit, and the few clouds dotting the sky part to bathe the area in sunlight. Kazuya feels Jin's frame tremble a little, and he moves to wrap his arms more tightly around him, even as his own heart pounds in his chest at the mysterious happening.
“...Do you think he would have ever forgiven my grandparents for running away?”
Kazuya looks into his boyfriend's face, and thinking of all the good that's come out of the hardship to strike Jin's family, he comes to the conclusion that yes, he would have. Instead of voicing that, however, he asks Jin, “What do you think?”
Taking a moment to consider it, Jin eventually lowers his head to nod against Kazuya's temple. “I think he's happy.”
“I think so, too.”
Clouds continue to build as the day goes on, and Jin and Kazuya head back into town when a noticeable chill starts to settle in the air. They brave the cold for a few more hours to see what else there is to do in West Hitoyoshi (the answer, not much, but they do manage to pick out some souvenirs to bring back, as well as some stationery as a present for Kazuya's mother for her getting them the train tickets). However, as the afternoon goes on, the temperature continues to drop in a way that might signal an upcoming storm, so, their shopping done, they hurry back to the ryokan to warm up and unwind in the same manner as they had the night before.
They're set to make the journey back to Tokyo the following day, New Year's Eve, and they're all packed and ready to go when Kazuya's cell phone buzzes with a text message from his mother, informing them that strong storms overnight have knocked out power to the train lines running between Kyushu and Honshu. A few lines of sad emoji accompany the message, as they'd intended to make it back in time for Kōhaku and the family's midnight outing to the shrine, but with this turn of events, it doesn't look like they'll be able to leave until the following day.
Flipping his phone closed with a frown, Kazuya turns to Jin. “So what do you think we should do?”
“You mean instead of celebrate our one-year anniversary at the spot where we first kissed?” It's clear from Jin's tone that he had had a rather romantic evening planned for the two of them, and he isn't at all happy about the weather interfering.
Both amused and touched by Jin's reaction, Kazuya draws his arms around him and drops his head to his shoulder. “I know it's not quite the same, but we can always go to a shrine here. We could find out how to get up to that shrine gate we can see from your family's house-maybe go out to dinner beforehand? There's bound to be a yakiniku restaurant somewhere around here.”
Instead of placating him, however, Kazuya's optimism only seems to irritate Jin further. “Geez, Kazuya, I knew you liked meat, but don't you ever get sick of eating it?”
The slang he drawls out suggests a rude double-meaning, but Kazuya chooses to ignore it. “Yakitori, then?”
“That's pretty much the same thing.”
“Sushi?”
“We've been eating raw fish and rice for the last two days.”
“Sukiyaki?”
That gets Jin's attention, but after a moment's consideration, he says, with the sole intention of being difficult, “It won't be as good as your mom's.”
Smiling, Kazuya tangles their fingers together. “No one's cooking is as good as my mom's. Ah, but it's New Year's Eve-should we find a soba place, then?”
Again, the side of Jin that loves everything traditional Japanese comes out. “Soba sounds perfect.”
After dinner and a few drinks, bundled up in heavy coats borrowed from the ryokan manager, they follow the steep (but thankfully paved) path up to the shrine. Once they leave the lights of the town behind on the ascent, Jin wraps an arm around Kazuya's waist to pull him closer, which sends the younger boy toppling into his shoulder, where he buries his face and giggles his head off.
“And here I thought you'd learn how to hold your liquor after I left,” Jin comments, clearly amused.
More giggling follows, accompanied by affectionate kisses to the side of Jin's throat that make his pace up the mountain slow to a near-stop. Pulling his face away from the slightly chilled skin, Kazuya practically sing-songs, “Nah, I guess I'm weak to it. Just like you~”
Jin snorts. “Last I checked, I'm pretty strong with alcohol. At least I'm not falling all over the place after two cups of sake.”
“No, dummy, I meant I'm weak to you, too~”
The darkness hides Jin's blush from view, but it can't extinguish his smile. “God, I hope you're sober by the time we get to the top.”
Kazuya just giggles again.
Once they reach the summit, they still have a while to wait before it turns midnight, but they pass it pleasantly, first exploring the area and then huddling close together for warmth. When a quick check to Kazuya's cell phone signals it's getting close to time, they move from the shadow of the main building to make their offerings and bow their silent prayers to the altar. Kazuya performs the standard one for his family, and after Jin takes his turn, clasping their hands, they come together to say a few words in Ko and Akanishi Hitoshi's memory.
At the sound of a single temple bell cutting through the silence, presumably from atop an adjacent peak, they both start a little and draw closer to each other, the movement almost automatic. As it sounds, Jin wraps his arms tightly around Kazuya's waist and says, almost a little nervously, “Well, here we are.”
Kazuya shows him a warm smile and reaches a hand up to brush a stray lock of hair away from Jin's face before draping both his arms lightly around his neck. “Happy anniversary.”
“Happy New Year.”
Their lips meet in a gentle kiss, and they stay like that long after the final toll of the bell fades, restoring silence to the calm winter night.
~*~*~*~
22. The Velvet Underground--I'm Sticking With You
It's hard seeing Jin off at the airport, but not nearly as much as it had been the first time. Jin hugs everyone in turn, coming to Kazuya last, and, their feelings for each other re-confirmed, they part following a tight embrace, one last soft kiss, and only a few tears shed between them.
When Jin gets home, they talk on Skype more often, and Kazuya launches himself into his next school term with more determination than ever, even deciding not to renew the contract he has with the club team when the thought that what he tentatively has planned for his future might work out spurs him on. He's not giving up baseball by any means-he's still putting himself through the rigorous conditioning exercises and working his arm on a regular basis, just without the pressures of a formal team eating away at his extra time and sanity. He doesn't tell Jin what he's done, even though the other can see through his webcam that he's clearly healthier than he had been, and he delights in that, but exactly what his master plan is, Kazuya can't reveal yet.
The subject of his studies had come up a few times while Jin had been visiting, but Kazuya had been able to defer by saying that he didn't want to think about it if he was on break. Although there had been truth to that, it was more that he hadn't wanted Jin to find out that instead of a traditional four-year university, he'd been taking intensive English classes in hopes that he would be able to play baseball in America. It was a long-shot to be sure, but he'd already received an offer, and that had perhaps been the most important step.
What Kōji had said to him the previous summer about going after what he wants has stuck with him, and what he wants is baseball and to be with Jin. He never would have expected an opportunity to seize both at the same time to fall into his lap, but it has, and he's been working for almost a year now to ensure that he can take advantage of it. At the very end of last summer, a flier had come from the minor league division of the American major leagues, looking to recruit young Japanese talent. When he'd seen it, Kazuya had had Kōji send e-mails to the managers of all the minor league teams in the Los Angeles area, begging for a tryout. After viewing some of his film and statistics, the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes (perhaps the weirdest team name Kazuya had ever heard of, but they were affiliated with the LA Dodgers, and that was what mattered) had accepted, flown over to see him play, and made him an offer on the condition that he know a fair amount of English by the time he'd have to fly to California to join the team. Kazuya had gotten himself signed up for English classes the next day and mailed the paperwork proving so by the end of the week.
Now all he has left to do is tell Jin, which he decides to do at the last possible moment to surprise him. Standing outside the baggage claim at the LA airport, all of his belongings packed up in suitcases and stacked on a cart, he finds a pay phone, drops some coins in, and dials a number. After three rings, a familiar voice picks up.
“Yo, 's is Jin.”
Kazuya's heart pounds in his chest as he says, in English, “Hi, Jin. This is Kazuya.”
“Oh, hey, Kazu-whoa, what the hell, you're speaking English!”
Kazuya laughs nervously into the phone, Jin's reply coming across as an indecipherable babble until he'd caught the word 'English' at the end. “Yes, I am speaking English. I am at the airport.” A wave of panic comes over him when he realizes he can't remember what he had planned to say next after practicing it for the entirety of the eleven hour plane ride.
In his moment of hesitation, Jin starts speaking again, quickly, and switching into Japanese. “Which one? Narita? What are you doing there? And why were you speaking English just now?! Wait, what number are you calling from, anyway?”
Kazuya switches to Japanese, too, when it doesn't seem like Jin's going to figure it out. “I'm not in Tokyo, I'm at LAX! International arrivals terminal. Come get me!”
Jin says something garbled in response, not recognizable as either language, and then the line goes dead. Kazuya hangs up the receiver and takes a deep breath. When Jin gets there, there's no doubt that he'll have a million questions for him, maybe more than enough to fill the car ride from the airport, regardless of how far away Jin lives or how bad the LA traffic will be (just as bad as in Tokyo, if not worse, is what Kazuya's heard). Beyond that, he really has no idea what's going to happen. He could stay in America with Jin long enough to build the baseball career he's always wanted and learn to speak English fluently (with a perfect Southern California accent, even), or he could end up back home in just a few months, defeated by his ambitions and back at square one with his life. The real outcome will probably be somewhere between the two extremes, but the uncertainty still sends a chill running down his back despite the late August heat.
First things first, he thinks, overcoming the nervousness he feels to push his luggage cart outside the terminal, where he'll wait for Jin at the curb. A gust of wind lifts the long strands of his hair from the nape of his neck as he passes through the automatic sliding doors, and he has to squint against the late summer sun to peer into the windshields of the passing cars, hoping to find Jin behind the wheel of one of them. It's a waiting game that wreaks havoc on his nerves, but eventually a speedy-looking black car weaves between the lanes of bus and taxi traffic (not without a few screeches of tires and long blares of a couple different car horns, all of which the driver seems to ignore) to pull up to the curb in front of him. Kazuya's heart beats double-time in his chest when Jin emerges from the driver's side, looking adorably disheveled and the tiniest bit stressed out, undoubtedly in his haste to get there.
Their gazes meet then, Kazuya looking shy while Jin looks at him as though he doesn't believe he's really there. The tip of Kazuya's tongue pokes out to run over his lower lip as Jin slowly circles around the front of the car to approach him. Kazuya's about to tell him they'll probably get in trouble if they leave the car idling there too long when Jin's strong arms wrap around his skinny frame, and all thoughts of speaking fade away as he returns the embrace.
There are certainly a lot of details they'll need to work out and even more unknown challenges on the road ahead, but in the meantime, life is happening, and Kazuya's not about to let it pass him by.
~*~*~*~