Merlin 5.01 "I Have Many Talents."
First recap of the season! Obviously spoilers ahead if you haven't seen the episode, and my own opinions....
“In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the zimmer frame of a pensioner. His name…Merlin.” Well maybe we haven’t jumped that far in time, but three years is certainly a hefty old gap. Apparently we’re not to concern ourselves with this and are led to believe nothing of importance happened in three years. Absolutely nothing. Nada. Not one thing. We’re to assume no one left the castle; the Knights, Arthur, Merlin and Gaius spent 3 years doing a Camelot Board Game Competition (Sir Leon's most excellent at Boggle). We’re lead to believe that nothing happened with Gwen and Arthur; that their relationship was dull and boring…actually I could probably believe that ;). Okay, first and last Gwen bashing of the review. Well, first Gwen bashing anyway.
So it’s the annual ‘Merlin as Belle’ introduction into the season, where he goes sprinting around the castle. He’s still not breaking into song as he’d doing it, which frankly let’s the whole thing down slightly. No extras shouting “Bonjour…bonjour, bonjour, bonjour!” either. It’s frankly a disappointment.
As it turns out, Merlin wasn’t recreating a scene from a Disney film. He was looking for Gwen, or THE QUEEN as she now is and what Arthur refers to her as. It makes her sound less like a wife and more like a preying mantis alien that’s taken over the castle. I know which one I’d prefer to watch. We get our first little Merlin and Arthur banter of the season, which is always welcome, always delightful and always makes them sound like a married couple. They are rudely interrupted however with someone hacking up a lung as they descend down the staircase. Much to my disappointment it’s not a preying mantis alien, but Gwen. She looks much prettier, but is unlikely to eat the Camelot guards.
Gwen apologises for being late, but Arthur brushes it off. Now, I often take ages to get ready and in any and all relationships I’ve had, my boyfriend would never, ever brush it off without a comment. The very least I would get is a passive aggressive comment. Are we sure that Arthur and Gwen have actually seen each other since the wedding? Maybe she has actually been lost for three years and this was their big reunion. Touching.
While Arthur and Gwen walk in together, Merlin get’s paired up with some pretty young waif. I’m sure her name get’s mentioned somewhere along the way, but I’ll be arsed if I can remember it, so lets go for…Jan. Anyway, there is a meeting of the Exposition Round Table, where Arthur lets us know that everything is tickity boo and has been for three years. Quite why he has to let everyone else know is a different story. They’ve all been there, they remember the Camelot Monopoly tournament. All the knights are sitting around the table…and look there’s Gwen too…and Merlin…well Merlin’s in the same room. Apparently equality doesn’t stretch to best friends.
Things are starting to become darker in Camelot though. Gwaine’s been sent off to some snowy land, poor sod. I don’t know how he picked the short straw. Maybe it was like some version of The Hunger Games. Percival is so Peeta to his Katniss. That’s my pop culture reference over for the week. Come back next week when I compare the Knights and Arthur to One Direction. Gwaine, Percival and a whole gang of Generic (soon to be deceased) Knights left 6 weeks ago and haven’t been heard of since. That’s so wrong, Gwaine. At least tweet if you’re not going to call.
“@onceandfutureking Not there yet. Percival says hi. #snowy”
I’ve heard people speak about how the snowy setting is similar to ‘Game of Thrones’, but I don’t watch that, so for me it’s more Narniaesque…or like Happy Feet. I think dancing penguins would improve even the best of episodes. Alas no dancing penguins, just wolves and non-dancing ones at that. Arthur tells us that Sir Elyan went out to look for Gwaine, but could find not trace of him. Really? Or is this more of a ‘Hansel and Gretel’ situation? Did all the other knights deliberately leave Gwaine in the middle of nowhere? Back in Snowsville, and the wolf has licked Gwaine into a state of unconsciousness. It’s okay though, because Morgana is there to drag him back to her Gingerbread Shack!
Damn, Morgana’s gone up market. I guess everywhere has been prosperous, because she’s exchanged her leafy loveshack for a creepy castle. Nice. Morgana’s having a chat with some dude. It’s mostly information that I’m sure will be relevant at some time, but not right now. Dude has a tattoo which we saw last season. It’s the druid one where they had all those coat hooks join together to make a key to find a dragon egg. Yeah…that episode was a lot better than I made it sound. Two Polar Bandits drag poor old Gwaine to see Morgana. She chooses not to kill him, but takes him down to her stripper mine. Got to like her style, I think I’d buy a creepy castle if it came with Stripper Mine.
You know, I’ve always been quite impressed with the level of guest stars that have appeared on the show. We’ve had Charles Dance, of course, Lindsey Duncan, John Hurt as the dragon, to name just a few. However, even I’ve got to say how impressed I am that Merlin have got Lady GaGa on as a guest star, someone who is at the peak of international stardom. A somewhat bold and unusual choice some might say, but…hold on one minute…that’s not GaGa! That’s Gaius! What the devil has happened to his barnet?
Arthur is holding a meeting around his table with his nearest and dearest. Sir Leon and Sir Elyan are there of course, Lady Ga-Gaius and Gwen. And Merlin….well he’s in the room. Arthur wants to go get Gwaine back. Seems he’s quite fond of him really. Gwen has the ingenious idea of taking a different route than normal to fool Morgana. Yeah real outside the box thinking there. Outside the room, Merlin bumps into Jan, the pretty waif servant. She seems nice. Those pretty waifs that Merlin takes a shine too always work out well, so I’m sure Jan will be a fine upstanding citizen of Camelot.
Gwaine and Percival have been inducted into the Stripper Mine. No shirts allowed. I wonder if Morgana has a viewing window? Meanwhile, Arthur, Merlin et al have started their trek and have come across Deserted/Vandalised Village of the Week. Much to my disappointment there is no lone farmyard animals wondering about, like there usually is. All the animal budget must have gone on those wolves. Merlin hears someone calling his alternate ego name and goes to search. It’s his version of the Bat signal.
“The prophets speak of Arthur’s Bane. You would do well to fear it."I don’t think Merlin’s got any fear of Arthur’s bane. *sniggers* Sorry, school boy humour done now, it’s a serious scene. The Seer shows Merlin a vision of Arthur being hurt. It’s interrupted by Arthur entering the cave. Merlin genuinely looks terrified. It’s like when you have a dream that someone you care about is hurt or worse and when you wake up all you want to do hug them. It’s also a bit like the opposite. When you have a dream about a loved one being alive, when in reality they are dead. When you wake up all you want to do is hug them, but you slowly realise you can’t. Merlin’s predicament is almost like a weird merging of the two. It’s not just a dream, it could be reality. He’s terrified and upset and all he wants to do is look after Arthur. Brilliant by Colin in this scene (as always!), it’s a pretty complex situation and feeling to convey, but he gets it spot on.
Merlin calls the Dragon. He’s like a scaly therapist for when Merlin’s worried about Arthur. I do notice however that he’s failed to tell Merlin that he’s lost Aithusa. Well, assuming he has lost her. She seemed pretty freelance the last time we saw her. So, Kilgarrah tells Merlin that it is only he who can keep Arthur safe. Well, obviously. Mate, we got that season 1. We’re five seasons later, you might want to embellish a bit more.
Hey! It’s Queen Annis! She was best King/Queen of the season, last year for me. It’s nice that’s she’s returned. I have to say her castle is looking a little sparse. She’s clearly going for the minimalist look. Fair play to Uther, his castle was always decorated and furnished. Yes he was a tyrant, but you couldn’t fault his interior decorating skills.
Back in Camelot and Jan is serving Gwen her dinner. “I can’t eat this.” It appears to be some sort of Bernard Matthew’s Turkey Slices, so fair play to her, I wouldn‘t eat it either. Gwen invites Jan to eat with her and they have a little chat. Way to mingle with the commoners, Gwen. Meanwhile, back in Annis’ Kingdom and she’s put on a bit of a feast for Arthur and the Knights. It’s nothing compared to the feasts Uther used to throw. Yes he was a tyrant, but you couldn’t fault his party planning skills.
In a surprising bit of continuity Annis refers to Merlin as Arthur’s fool. She wants him to entertain everyone. Merlin being as dexterous as a three legged giraffe, he has to use his magic to make him able to juggle. Arthur’s very impressed with Merlin’s ball skills. Even with Arthur’s bane lingering over him, Merlin still manages to keep hold of his balls. *snigger* Sorry, sorry…serious recap now.
Got to love the little night-time fireside scene in the bedroom between Merlin and Arthur. Arthur really is very sweet sometimes. I love little scenes like this, where Arthur genuinely wants to know what’s bothering him. Merlin always looks so torn. He wants to tell him so badly, but knows he can’t or feels that he can’t. I loved the Merlin/Arthur interactions in this episode. Spot on. I'll probably waffle on in the coming weeks about how much I love Merlin/Arthur scenes, so I'll leave it there for now. They are entirely precious though, in every possible way.
Jan is associated with a sorcerer and tells him about Arthur’s route change! I did not see that coming! Who would have guessed the weird little waif would turn out to be deceptive. It’s almost as if there’s a pattern emerging. As it turn’s out, Jan’s Dad…let’s call him Dan, is a sorcerer and is very anti-Pendragon. The next day Jan’s tending to Gwen in her chambers. She goes to leave, but Gwen stops her. “Aren’t you forgetting something? My paper’s for the council?” Gwen!!! How lazy can you get, they’re sitting on a desk 5 feet away from your fingertips! Get off your arse and get them yourself.
All the Knights have stopped for some rest and Merlin’s brooding by a little stream. I don’t think a lot of servants get away with brooding as much as Merlin does. Compared to having Gwen for a boss, Arthur’s starting to look like Master of the Year. Because of course Arthur is a sweetheart and again comes to see what’s getting Merlin down. We’ll slide over the fact that Arthur has kept Merlin in the same job and clothes for ten years, I’ll bring that back up another episode. For now we’ll just concentrate on his sweeter side. Love, love love Bradley’s face in this scene and how he’s talking to Merlin. With a lot of maturity and caring, but an inch of a smirk.
The next morning Arthur, Merlin and the Knights find themselves surrounded by Morgana and her posse. Excellent, we’re going to get a brilliant battle between Morgana and Merlin/Arthur. “RUN!!!!!” Or maybe not. To be fair, the fight scenes were very good, although Sir Leon seems to have come out worse for wear. Merlin listened closely to Arthur’s speech the previous night about how he would never abandon his Knights and they would all stick together. So when Arthur get’s injured, Merlin does the only honourable thing….he grabs Arthur and halls arse out of there. Hee! I like Merlin’s priorities. He cares for the Knights, but Arthur takes precedence over everything else and always will. Again, it’s the first episode of the season so we’ll gloss over the fact that Merlin did magic 2 inches away from Arthur’s face and set Nagini on some random bandits in front of him.
Favourite line of the episode, mainly for the delivery:
Arthur: You saved me?
Merlin: Yes! And I can juggle! I keep telling you I have many talents.
Back in the Stripper Mine and Gwaine and Percival are asleep together on a bed of rock. Or Bedrock if you prefer. It’s like a gay Flintstones. That would actually be awesome, although to be fair I always suspected there was something going on between Wilma and Betty anyway.
Merlin and Arthur are trotting towards Morgana’s new and improved Creepy Castle in Snowsville to rescue the Knights. Merlin’s incredulous about how the two of them could ever defeat Morgana on their own. He’s right. Morgana is a powerful sorceress, they are just two ordinary young men. If only one of them was…oh I don’t know…AN ALL POWERFUL SORCERER!!! Jeepers, Merlin.
Hey! First Grope Bingo of the season! Everyone got their cards out? Eyes down. Cross off…‘Snuggled up together in the forest”, if you have it. Bless, they’ve made themselves a little woodland bed. It’s like a gay Watership Down. A Gay Watership Down would be made of awesome! Actually thinking about it, the original didn’t end so well…I retract the comparison. In the morning…well they are still snuggled up to each other. For warmth…or for the fact they’re so married, take your pick. Merlin’s hungry and is discussing food as they walk along. Dude, back in the castle Gwen’s only getting packet wafer thin Turkey Ham from Jan; think yourself lucky. He does spot 2 rabbits snuggled together. Hey! It is like a gay Watership Down! The rabbits are even dead! Perfect! Merlin being starving, of course runs to pick them up. It’s a trap and Arthur and Merlin get caught in a net. Not euphemistically.
Back at Camelot and ol’ Nancy Drew Gwen and her assistant, Lady ‘Poker Face’ Ga-Gaius have figured out that Jan gave away Arthur’s route. The part of Uther Pendragon this week will be played by Angel Coulby. Seriously, Gwen sentences that little waif to death without even a blink! That’s more like it! I like Cut-Throat Bitch, Gwen! Finally some sort of flaw and imperfection! It only took five flippin seasons! Fingers crossed they don’t turn her back next week. I have to say even though I’ve struggled over Gwen for years, I’ve always liked Angel and it’s nice they’ve finally added a little something for her to get her teeth into. I mean I'm clutching at straws a little here, one flicker of life doth not a character make, but I'm always willing to give it a chance. Even when the two boys are distracting my attention by wriggling around in a net together.
The next scene made my Grope Bingo Card explode. And that’s just the audio. Merlin and Arthur are still stuck in a net. As time goes on it’s getting to be less literal and more of a euphanism. If only one of them had some way of getting out easily…some sort of magical way…but alas, no, that can’t be the case. For why would…oh I don’t know, let’s say Merlin…choose to be pressed up against Arthur’s bane, when he can so easily get them down. Hmm…that is a dilli of a pickle.
Back at the Stripper Mine and Gwaine’s been knocked unconscious by one of the Stripper Bandits. Oh look, someone’s trying to wake him…HOLY MOTHER OF FRIGGIN HOLY TOAST!!!!! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT THING?!!! IT’S A PREYING MANTIS ALIEN! IT’S A PREYING MANTIS ALIEN!!!! RUN GWAINE, SWEET JEBUS, RUUUUUUUUNNNNN!
That…whatever the hell it is…has to be the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen on Merlin. However, back to normality and the two boys are snuggled up asleep in their net. Random Bandits cut them down. They do their little dance of ‘Kill me’, ‘No, Kill me’, until they are interrupted. It’s only flippin Mordred! Ohhhhhh! Things just got interesting!
Brilliant start to the season. I loved all the interaction between the boys, it was cute, quirky and caring. It’s nice Gwen’s finally got a kick up the arse as a character, but I’m wary that they can retract it soon enough. Beautiful scenery and sets, always great performances from all involved and lots of promise for the season ahead!
Next week: More snow and more Mordred!!!
“In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the zimmer frame of a pensioner. His name…Merlin.” Well maybe we haven’t jumped that far in time, but three years is certainly a hefty old gap. Apparently we’re not to concern ourselves with this and are led to believe nothing of importance happened in three years. Absolutely nothing. Nada. Not one thing. We’re to assume no one left the castle; the Knights, Arthur, Merlin and Gaius spent 3 years doing a Camelot Board Game Competition (Sir Leon's most excellent at Boggle). We’re lead to believe that nothing happened with Gwen and Arthur; that their relationship was dull and boring…actually I could probably believe that ;). Okay, first and last Gwen bashing of the review. Well, first Gwen bashing anyway.
So it’s the annual ‘Merlin as Belle’ introduction into the season, where he goes sprinting around the castle. He’s still not breaking into song as he’d doing it, which frankly let’s the whole thing down slightly. No extras shouting “Bonjour…bonjour, bonjour, bonjour!” either. It’s frankly a disappointment.
As it turns out, Merlin wasn’t recreating a scene from a Disney film. He was looking for Gwen, or THE QUEEN as she now is and what Arthur refers to her as. It makes her sound less like a wife and more like a preying mantis alien that’s taken over the castle. I know which one I’d prefer to watch. We get our first little Merlin and Arthur banter of the season, which is always welcome, always delightful and always makes them sound like a married couple. They are rudely interrupted however with someone hacking up a lung as they descend down the staircase. Much to my disappointment it’s not a preying mantis alien, but Gwen. She looks much prettier, but is unlikely to eat the Camelot guards.
Gwen apologises for being late, but Arthur brushes it off. Now, I often take ages to get ready and in any and all relationships I’ve had, my boyfriend would never, ever brush it off without a comment. The very least I would get is a passive aggressive comment. Are we sure that Arthur and Gwen have actually seen each other since the wedding? Maybe she has actually been lost for three years and this was their big reunion. Touching.
While Arthur and Gwen walk in together, Merlin get’s paired up with some pretty young waif. I’m sure her name get’s mentioned somewhere along the way, but I’ll be arsed if I can remember it, so lets go for…Jan. Anyway, there is a meeting of the Exposition Round Table, where Arthur lets us know that everything is tickity boo and has been for three years. Quite why he has to let everyone else know is a different story. They’ve all been there, they remember the Camelot Monopoly tournament. All the knights are sitting around the table…and look there’s Gwen too…and Merlin…well Merlin’s in the same room. Apparently equality doesn’t stretch to best friends.
Things are starting to become darker in Camelot though. Gwaine’s been sent off to some snowy land, poor sod. I don’t know how he picked the short straw. Maybe it was like some version of The Hunger Games. Percival is so Peeta to his Katniss. That’s my pop culture reference over for the week. Come back next week when I compare the Knights and Arthur to One Direction. Gwaine, Percival and a whole gang of Generic (soon to be deceased) Knights left 6 weeks ago and haven’t been heard of since. That’s so wrong, Gwaine. At least tweet if you’re not going to call.
“@onceandfutureking Not there yet. Percival says hi. #snowy”
I’ve heard people speak about how the snowy setting is similar to ‘Game of Thrones’, but I don’t watch that, so for me it’s more Narniaesque…or like Happy Feet. I think dancing penguins would improve even the best of episodes. Alas no dancing penguins, just wolves and non-dancing ones at that. Arthur tells us that Sir Elyan went out to look for Gwaine, but could find not trace of him. Really? Or is this more of a ‘Hansel and Gretel’ situation? Did all the other knights deliberately leave Gwaine in the middle of nowhere? Back in Snowsville, and the wolf has licked Gwaine into a state of unconsciousness. It’s okay though, because Morgana is there to drag him back to her Gingerbread Shack!
Damn, Morgana’s gone up market. I guess everywhere has been prosperous, because she’s exchanged her leafy loveshack for a creepy castle. Nice. Morgana’s having a chat with some dude. It’s mostly information that I’m sure will be relevant at some time, but not right now. Dude has a tattoo which we saw last season. It’s the druid one where they had all those coat hooks join together to make a key to find a dragon egg. Yeah…that episode was a lot better than I made it sound. Two Polar Bandits drag poor old Gwaine to see Morgana. She chooses not to kill him, but takes him down to her stripper mine. Got to like her style, I think I’d buy a creepy castle if it came with Stripper Mine.
You know, I’ve always been quite impressed with the level of guest stars that have appeared on the show. We’ve had Charles Dance, of course, Lindsey Duncan, John Hurt as the dragon, to name just a few. However, even I’ve got to say how impressed I am that Merlin have got Lady GaGa on as a guest star, someone who is at the peak of international stardom. A somewhat bold and unusual choice some might say, but…hold on one minute…that’s not GaGa! That’s Gaius! What the devil has happened to his barnet?
Arthur is holding a meeting around his table with his nearest and dearest. Sir Leon and Sir Elyan are there of course, Lady Ga-Gaius and Gwen. And Merlin….well he’s in the room. Arthur wants to go get Gwaine back. Seems he’s quite fond of him really. Gwen has the ingenious idea of taking a different route than normal to fool Morgana. Yeah real outside the box thinking there. Outside the room, Merlin bumps into Jan, the pretty waif servant. She seems nice. Those pretty waifs that Merlin takes a shine too always work out well, so I’m sure Jan will be a fine upstanding citizen of Camelot.
Gwaine and Percival have been inducted into the Stripper Mine. No shirts allowed. I wonder if Morgana has a viewing window? Meanwhile, Arthur, Merlin et al have started their trek and have come across Deserted/Vandalised Village of the Week. Much to my disappointment there is no lone farmyard animals wondering about, like there usually is. All the animal budget must have gone on those wolves. Merlin hears someone calling his alternate ego name and goes to search. It’s his version of the Bat signal.
“The prophets speak of Arthur’s Bane. You would do well to fear it."I don’t think Merlin’s got any fear of Arthur’s bane. *sniggers* Sorry, school boy humour done now, it’s a serious scene. The Seer shows Merlin a vision of Arthur being hurt. It’s interrupted by Arthur entering the cave. Merlin genuinely looks terrified. It’s like when you have a dream that someone you care about is hurt or worse and when you wake up all you want to do hug them. It’s also a bit like the opposite. When you have a dream about a loved one being alive, when in reality they are dead. When you wake up all you want to do is hug them, but you slowly realise you can’t. Merlin’s predicament is almost like a weird merging of the two. It’s not just a dream, it could be reality. He’s terrified and upset and all he wants to do is look after Arthur. Brilliant by Colin in this scene (as always!), it’s a pretty complex situation and feeling to convey, but he gets it spot on.
Merlin calls the Dragon. He’s like a scaly therapist for when Merlin’s worried about Arthur. I do notice however that he’s failed to tell Merlin that he’s lost Aithusa. Well, assuming he has lost her. She seemed pretty freelance the last time we saw her. So, Kilgarrah tells Merlin that it is only he who can keep Arthur safe. Well, obviously. Mate, we got that season 1. We’re five seasons later, you might want to embellish a bit more.
Hey! It’s Queen Annis! She was best King/Queen of the season, last year for me. It’s nice that’s she’s returned. I have to say her castle is looking a little sparse. She’s clearly going for the minimalist look. Fair play to Uther, his castle was always decorated and furnished. Yes he was a tyrant, but you couldn’t fault his interior decorating skills.
Back in Camelot and Jan is serving Gwen her dinner. “I can’t eat this.” It appears to be some sort of Bernard Matthew’s Turkey Slices, so fair play to her, I wouldn‘t eat it either. Gwen invites Jan to eat with her and they have a little chat. Way to mingle with the commoners, Gwen. Meanwhile, back in Annis’ Kingdom and she’s put on a bit of a feast for Arthur and the Knights. It’s nothing compared to the feasts Uther used to throw. Yes he was a tyrant, but you couldn’t fault his party planning skills.
In a surprising bit of continuity Annis refers to Merlin as Arthur’s fool. She wants him to entertain everyone. Merlin being as dexterous as a three legged giraffe, he has to use his magic to make him able to juggle. Arthur’s very impressed with Merlin’s ball skills. Even with Arthur’s bane lingering over him, Merlin still manages to keep hold of his balls. *snigger* Sorry, sorry…serious recap now.
Got to love the little night-time fireside scene in the bedroom between Merlin and Arthur. Arthur really is very sweet sometimes. I love little scenes like this, where Arthur genuinely wants to know what’s bothering him. Merlin always looks so torn. He wants to tell him so badly, but knows he can’t or feels that he can’t. I loved the Merlin/Arthur interactions in this episode. Spot on. I'll probably waffle on in the coming weeks about how much I love Merlin/Arthur scenes, so I'll leave it there for now. They are entirely precious though, in every possible way.
Jan is associated with a sorcerer and tells him about Arthur’s route change! I did not see that coming! Who would have guessed the weird little waif would turn out to be deceptive. It’s almost as if there’s a pattern emerging. As it turn’s out, Jan’s Dad…let’s call him Dan, is a sorcerer and is very anti-Pendragon. The next day Jan’s tending to Gwen in her chambers. She goes to leave, but Gwen stops her. “Aren’t you forgetting something? My paper’s for the council?” Gwen!!! How lazy can you get, they’re sitting on a desk 5 feet away from your fingertips! Get off your arse and get them yourself.
All the Knights have stopped for some rest and Merlin’s brooding by a little stream. I don’t think a lot of servants get away with brooding as much as Merlin does. Compared to having Gwen for a boss, Arthur’s starting to look like Master of the Year. Because of course Arthur is a sweetheart and again comes to see what’s getting Merlin down. We’ll slide over the fact that Arthur has kept Merlin in the same job and clothes for ten years, I’ll bring that back up another episode. For now we’ll just concentrate on his sweeter side. Love, love love Bradley’s face in this scene and how he’s talking to Merlin. With a lot of maturity and caring, but an inch of a smirk.
The next morning Arthur, Merlin and the Knights find themselves surrounded by Morgana and her posse. Excellent, we’re going to get a brilliant battle between Morgana and Merlin/Arthur. “RUN!!!!!” Or maybe not. To be fair, the fight scenes were very good, although Sir Leon seems to have come out worse for wear. Merlin listened closely to Arthur’s speech the previous night about how he would never abandon his Knights and they would all stick together. So when Arthur get’s injured, Merlin does the only honourable thing….he grabs Arthur and halls arse out of there. Hee! I like Merlin’s priorities. He cares for the Knights, but Arthur takes precedence over everything else and always will. Again, it’s the first episode of the season so we’ll gloss over the fact that Merlin did magic 2 inches away from Arthur’s face and set Nagini on some random bandits in front of him.
Favourite line of the episode, mainly for the delivery:
Arthur: You saved me?
Merlin: Yes! And I can juggle! I keep telling you I have many talents.
Back in the Stripper Mine and Gwaine and Percival are asleep together on a bed of rock. Or Bedrock if you prefer. It’s like a gay Flintstones. That would actually be awesome, although to be fair I always suspected there was something going on between Wilma and Betty anyway.
Merlin and Arthur are trotting towards Morgana’s new and improved Creepy Castle in Snowsville to rescue the Knights. Merlin’s incredulous about how the two of them could ever defeat Morgana on their own. He’s right. Morgana is a powerful sorceress, they are just two ordinary young men. If only one of them was…oh I don’t know…AN ALL POWERFUL SORCERER!!! Jeepers, Merlin.
Hey! First Grope Bingo of the season! Everyone got their cards out? Eyes down. Cross off…‘Snuggled up together in the forest”, if you have it. Bless, they’ve made themselves a little woodland bed. It’s like a gay Watership Down. A Gay Watership Down would be made of awesome! Actually thinking about it, the original didn’t end so well…I retract the comparison. In the morning…well they are still snuggled up to each other. For warmth…or for the fact they’re so married, take your pick. Merlin’s hungry and is discussing food as they walk along. Dude, back in the castle Gwen’s only getting packet wafer thin Turkey Ham from Jan; think yourself lucky. He does spot 2 rabbits snuggled together. Hey! It is like a gay Watership Down! The rabbits are even dead! Perfect! Merlin being starving, of course runs to pick them up. It’s a trap and Arthur and Merlin get caught in a net. Not euphemistically.
Back at Camelot and ol’ Nancy Drew Gwen and her assistant, Lady ‘Poker Face’ Ga-Gaius have figured out that Jan gave away Arthur’s route. The part of Uther Pendragon this week will be played by Angel Coulby. Seriously, Gwen sentences that little waif to death without even a blink! That’s more like it! I like Cut-Throat Bitch, Gwen! Finally some sort of flaw and imperfection! It only took five flippin seasons! Fingers crossed they don’t turn her back next week. I have to say even though I’ve struggled over Gwen for years, I’ve always liked Angel and it’s nice they’ve finally added a little something for her to get her teeth into. I mean I'm clutching at straws a little here, one flicker of life doth not a character make, but I'm always willing to give it a chance. Even when the two boys are distracting my attention by wriggling around in a net together.
The next scene made my Grope Bingo Card explode. And that’s just the audio. Merlin and Arthur are still stuck in a net. As time goes on it’s getting to be less literal and more of a euphanism. If only one of them had some way of getting out easily…some sort of magical way…but alas, no, that can’t be the case. For why would…oh I don’t know, let’s say Merlin…choose to be pressed up against Arthur’s bane, when he can so easily get them down. Hmm…that is a dilli of a pickle.
Back at the Stripper Mine and Gwaine’s been knocked unconscious by one of the Stripper Bandits. Oh look, someone’s trying to wake him…HOLY MOTHER OF FRIGGIN HOLY TOAST!!!!! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT THING?!!! IT’S A PREYING MANTIS ALIEN! IT’S A PREYING MANTIS ALIEN!!!! RUN GWAINE, SWEET JEBUS, RUUUUUUUUNNNNN!
That…whatever the hell it is…has to be the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen on Merlin. However, back to normality and the two boys are snuggled up asleep in their net. Random Bandits cut them down. They do their little dance of ‘Kill me’, ‘No, Kill me’, until they are interrupted. It’s only flippin Mordred! Ohhhhhh! Things just got interesting!
Brilliant start to the season. I loved all the interaction between the boys, it was cute, quirky and caring. It’s nice Gwen’s finally got a kick up the arse as a character, but I’m wary that they can retract it soon enough. Beautiful scenery and sets, always great performances from all involved and lots of promise for the season ahead!
Next week: More snow and more Mordred!!!