Beginning Again
I realize there a great lengths of time when I don't journal here. I DO keep written journals of those times when I am unable to post, I am just not going to rewrite it all for here.
How could someone so great at parenting be such a freakin' asshole in every way? I am speaking of my daughter's on/off boyfriend. He is a sleaze ball, even though he is good looking and has charming down to an art form. Yet when it comes to parenting, he says and does all the right things. Go figure.
My writing career is growing, and now I just need to work on my self-confidence. I am a damn good writer. Great editor, too. I am going to writing groups, book groups, poetry slams, writing my own stuff at homw, taking classes online at Southern New Hampshire University (great school), and learning from life. I am submitting to contests, magazines, anthologies. I am writing several children's books. Got enough family kids to practice them on!! :)
One of my cats is dying. He is 17 years old, and he isn't even my cat. I am keeping him for a friend. But still. I have watched too many things/people die. Ever since I was little. I do not want to be the one to watch it again. And cats do not die quietly. It's a horrible thing to watch, even if they are dying of natural causes. I let my friend know to come ASAP, but I have a feeling it will be too late then.
I am not depressed, just sad. I am taking control of my mental illness, going to DBT therapy, working on trauma, taking psych classes as well as my writing classes, reading my bible (if it's not for you, no sweat...I just know what works for me).
For the first time in my life I am so happy. I am poor, broke, have nothing worth anything, but I have what I need, have my pets, a small and simple house (but it's a house), decent yard, convenient neighborhood, since I have no car, Am only taking one med and the occasional sleeping pill ( a huge drop from 8 meds), am eating healthy, lost 25 pounds, have healthy kids and grandkids, and am very content with what I have. And oh so grateful.
I should have died over a dozen times, but something kept me alive, which certainly wasn't me or good medecine and hospital care. In fact, three of those times I should have died because I didn't get proper medical care, but I pulled through somehow anyway. Now I am so so thankful I did, and with my brain intact.
I am going to post at least every other day. My writing depends on it. So do I. And maybe, just maybe, one person will be able to relate.
How could someone so great at parenting be such a freakin' asshole in every way? I am speaking of my daughter's on/off boyfriend. He is a sleaze ball, even though he is good looking and has charming down to an art form. Yet when it comes to parenting, he says and does all the right things. Go figure.
My writing career is growing, and now I just need to work on my self-confidence. I am a damn good writer. Great editor, too. I am going to writing groups, book groups, poetry slams, writing my own stuff at homw, taking classes online at Southern New Hampshire University (great school), and learning from life. I am submitting to contests, magazines, anthologies. I am writing several children's books. Got enough family kids to practice them on!! :)
One of my cats is dying. He is 17 years old, and he isn't even my cat. I am keeping him for a friend. But still. I have watched too many things/people die. Ever since I was little. I do not want to be the one to watch it again. And cats do not die quietly. It's a horrible thing to watch, even if they are dying of natural causes. I let my friend know to come ASAP, but I have a feeling it will be too late then.
I am not depressed, just sad. I am taking control of my mental illness, going to DBT therapy, working on trauma, taking psych classes as well as my writing classes, reading my bible (if it's not for you, no sweat...I just know what works for me).
For the first time in my life I am so happy. I am poor, broke, have nothing worth anything, but I have what I need, have my pets, a small and simple house (but it's a house), decent yard, convenient neighborhood, since I have no car, Am only taking one med and the occasional sleeping pill ( a huge drop from 8 meds), am eating healthy, lost 25 pounds, have healthy kids and grandkids, and am very content with what I have. And oh so grateful.
I should have died over a dozen times, but something kept me alive, which certainly wasn't me or good medecine and hospital care. In fact, three of those times I should have died because I didn't get proper medical care, but I pulled through somehow anyway. Now I am so so thankful I did, and with my brain intact.
I am going to post at least every other day. My writing depends on it. So do I. And maybe, just maybe, one person will be able to relate.