what a long, strange trip
12 overdoses since I last posted. More than 3 months in hospital and group home. My granddaughter and daughter moved to Texas the week of my birthday in December, before Christmas, and didn't even tell me about it beforehand. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because he turned out to be an ASS, which is no surprise to me anymore. I cut myself so badly I needed staples, stitches, special restrictive bandages, and still the scars are so large I look like I was mauled by a lion.
But that was then.
Now.........moving from my adequate but old one bedroom apartment into a nice, modern, spacious one bedroom that I can finally afford. Yard, walking distance to everything, new carpet, lots of closets, and wonderful landlords. Daughter and granddaughter moved back!!!!! Finally enrolled in writing school and working toward my dream of being a published writer. Working as a tutor, as my own boss, making real money finally. No more meds.....I went on methadone to get off them, and am now off the methadone. Turned vegan. Drink more water than Pepsi!! (hell must have frozen over...lol)
Feeling a sense of accomplishment for once, but still that darkness inside. I am learning to embrace it. It helps me write. I am cynical, yet optimistic. A hopeful romantic, yet distrustful of the opposite sex. I still have fears about going places, seeing people.
My ex-monster is out of prison now. My worst fear has happened, and he hasn't yet contacted me. I remain vigilant, but have been able to relax a little. Less nightmares......in fact, almost none. I am prepared now if he does show up.
I think......dare I say it? I am........happy.
But that was then.
Now.........moving from my adequate but old one bedroom apartment into a nice, modern, spacious one bedroom that I can finally afford. Yard, walking distance to everything, new carpet, lots of closets, and wonderful landlords. Daughter and granddaughter moved back!!!!! Finally enrolled in writing school and working toward my dream of being a published writer. Working as a tutor, as my own boss, making real money finally. No more meds.....I went on methadone to get off them, and am now off the methadone. Turned vegan. Drink more water than Pepsi!! (hell must have frozen over...lol)
Feeling a sense of accomplishment for once, but still that darkness inside. I am learning to embrace it. It helps me write. I am cynical, yet optimistic. A hopeful romantic, yet distrustful of the opposite sex. I still have fears about going places, seeing people.
My ex-monster is out of prison now. My worst fear has happened, and he hasn't yet contacted me. I remain vigilant, but have been able to relax a little. Less nightmares......in fact, almost none. I am prepared now if he does show up.
I think......dare I say it? I am........happy.