I am having way too much fun.
Sociologists:
Actual caption: "Sociologists study the behavior of groups, organizations, institutions, and nations, and how they react to phenomena such as the spread of technology, crime, social movements, and epidemics of illness."
Suggested caption: "Sociologists have nothing but contempt for each other, both as scholars and as human beings."
Physicists and Astronomers:
Actual caption: "Research jobs for physicists and astronomers usually require a Ph.D."
Suggested caption: "This man got a research grant to find out how many physicists or astronomers it takes to screw in a lightbulb."
Social Scientist:
Actual caption: "Social scientists often read and write research articles or reports."
Suggested caption: "This man has a headache from all the stupid reading and writing he has to do. Why didn't he choose another job?"
Teacher - Post-secondary:
Actual caption: "Postsecondary teachers instruct students in a wide variety of academic and vocational subjects beyond the high school level. "
Suggested caption: "I hate my job, so I'm going to destroy your youthful enthusiasm by pointing out trivial errors. You realize only a moron would adjust a microscope that way, don't you?"
Top Executives:
Actual caption: "Top executives need highly developed management skills and the ability to communicate clearly and persuasively. "
Suggested caption: "What do you mean, it's not technically possible? We already promised the client we'd have that software by Tuesday."
Judges, Magistrates, and other judicial workers:
Actual caption: "Judges decide cases when the law does not require a jury trial or when the parties waive their right to a jury."
Suggested caption: "Everyone knows it sucks to be a judge, but few comprehend the horrors of life as a gavel."
Dentists:
Actual caption: "Dentists remove tooth decay, fill cavities, and repair fractured teeth."
Suggested caption: "Everyone thinks dentistry is so boring. And really, they're right."
Actual caption: "Sociologists study the behavior of groups, organizations, institutions, and nations, and how they react to phenomena such as the spread of technology, crime, social movements, and epidemics of illness."
Suggested caption: "Sociologists have nothing but contempt for each other, both as scholars and as human beings."
Physicists and Astronomers:
Actual caption: "Research jobs for physicists and astronomers usually require a Ph.D."
Suggested caption: "This man got a research grant to find out how many physicists or astronomers it takes to screw in a lightbulb."
Social Scientist:
Actual caption: "Social scientists often read and write research articles or reports."
Suggested caption: "This man has a headache from all the stupid reading and writing he has to do. Why didn't he choose another job?"
Teacher - Post-secondary:
Actual caption: "Postsecondary teachers instruct students in a wide variety of academic and vocational subjects beyond the high school level. "
Suggested caption: "I hate my job, so I'm going to destroy your youthful enthusiasm by pointing out trivial errors. You realize only a moron would adjust a microscope that way, don't you?"
Top Executives:
Actual caption: "Top executives need highly developed management skills and the ability to communicate clearly and persuasively. "
Suggested caption: "What do you mean, it's not technically possible? We already promised the client we'd have that software by Tuesday."
Judges, Magistrates, and other judicial workers:
Actual caption: "Judges decide cases when the law does not require a jury trial or when the parties waive their right to a jury."
Suggested caption: "Everyone knows it sucks to be a judge, but few comprehend the horrors of life as a gavel."
Dentists:
Actual caption: "Dentists remove tooth decay, fill cavities, and repair fractured teeth."
Suggested caption: "Everyone thinks dentistry is so boring. And really, they're right."