[In his Care] Chapter 75 ~part 1
Title: In his Care
Chapter: 75/84
Pairings: Akame, TxT, KinKi Kids, TomaPi, RyoUchi, YunJae and many more.
Fandoms: JE, wFL, random Jboys, random Kboys and hints of tenimyu and dramas
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: please pay attention to possible separate warnings (e.g. spoiler warnings) posted at each chap, overall warnings for non-con, violence and language
Disclaimer: I own only the story.
Summary: AU. Kame's two years in prison and his life after that. In this chapter Kame-chan remembers something crucial to himself...
[Phase one] Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21
[Phase two] Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47
[Phase three] Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53 Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Chapter 56 Chapter 57 Chapter 58 Chapter 59 Chapter 60 Chapter 61 Chapter 62 Chapter 63 Chapter 64 Chapter 65 Chapter 66 Chapter 67 Chapter 68 Chapter 69 Chapter 70 Chapter 71 Chapter 72 Chapter 73 Chapter 74
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry... *does Super Junior dance*
I was hoping I could do a double-chap post, as I was writing on this one and the following quite at the same time, but I barely got this finished. Please don't imagine that I forget about you readers or this fic, you're always on my mind and I yearn to write, but school has kept me busy this fall. I'll probably disappear from the face of the earth until winter vacation that starts in a week. By then I will have my exams and other school stuff over, so I'll pop by here and then try to write more on the fic too ^^ Thanks to the lovely Cata for coming through with the beta-ing again <3
This is a really long chapter, but hope you'll enjoy it!
Chapter 75
Kame had never been on dates before he had met Jin. He had always known he was missing out on something, but he hadn’t thought he had missed out this much.
He laughed together with the person in the next seat, the man with one arm laid over his shoulders in a comfortable way. The right person could make any place and any moment feel special. They didn’t need big opening nights at fancy theatres. This old one in the gangsters’ blocks worked just fine. Besides they had more room for themselves as it was almost only the two of them there. They didn’t need big production Hollywood movies either. The Korean movie they were watching now had them more entertained, as they weren’t exactly sure what was happening and why.
“I don’t really get it…was he trying to bury him?” Jin asked with laughter in his voice. “And then he didn’t succeed? Why? Didn’t they just do it?”
“I have no clue.” Kame replied, chuckling as he was trying to keep up with the movie that naturally didn’t include any subtitles. “What kind of a relationship do they have except for him being a whore and the other guy buying him for a night? How did he end up trying to bury his customer…?”
Somehow, unknowingly, they had ended up choosing another movie about two male lovers, which made Kame slightly uncomfortable during certain scenes - those hot love ones that ought to make you feel hot yourself only made him want to squirm in his seat, wishing they would end. He hadn’t missed either that at that point Jin’s arm previously immobile on his shoulders had then absently started playing with his one sleeve, touching him through the fabric.
Now it seemed as if the movie would end badly. Kame couldn’t see why every gay-themed movie always ended tragically like with character death. It was somehow discouraging. People should stop making such a big deal over who to love. The important thing was to love.
Kame wished he could escape into the illusion of that emotion. Love didn’t seem to want to find him, comfort him, but at the same time it would blind him into thinking he could behave any way he wanted with the man next to him.
Kame refused the urge to look at the person next to him, still massaging his shoulder through the clothes he wore and by that Kame knew he was in real trouble. He knew the earlier scenes they had seen would get the boy next to him fired up and now it seemed his date was planning on doing something about it. That was only to be expected. He had held Akanishi Jin off for more than long and he just waited for the calmness in Jin to be stirred up, like waiting for storm to rise on a calm evening. He couldn’t believe how carefree he had started to behave in the presence of this person and how he had been able to forget what this man was capable of.
His body grew tenser under the arm still resting over his shoulders, as he tried to ignore the playful hand and appear as if he didn’t even notice it, that he didn’t understand the subtle hints relayed to him through Jin’s touches. He didn’t dare to send the boy next to him as much as a glance and neither could he move away, so he just sat there and wished he could shrink or become invisible. Even breathing normally felt like a difficult task. He would’ve taken any opportunity to escape out of the theatre, but he knew by now that would prove to be a grave mistake. It was better to just sit obediently there and not do anything to piss the powerful leader off.
It was his own fault. He had abandoned all reason and gone out with this man. Instead he should’ve run while he had still had the chance.
“Don’t be so tense.”
Kame flinched, managing to see how his reaction had caused a small smirk to appear on Jin’s face before he ducked his head a bit. From the corner of his eyes he could see Jin’s gaze was still set on the movie, but in truth the leader wasn’t watching it anymore.
“You amaze me.” Jin continued and Kame didn’t reply. He didn’t ask why. He didn’t want to interrupt. “You were always were unpredictable, but I would never have guessed you’d go as far as to still want to be with me after remembering everything I did to you. I didn’t think you’d fall for me the first time around, but that you’d go and do it again is quite an achievement even for you. Most people would never even claim to love the person who abused them much less try to embark into a relationship with him, but you have your own way of doing things. How far do you want to push it until you’ll see there isn’t a future for us?”
Kame jumped in his seat as he felt Jin turn towards him, eyes leaving the movie and setting on his face instead. As he slowly managed to lift his gaze to the other boy he saw how Jin was studying his face looking rather amused.
“Nevertheless I like the fact that you’re trying to be with me even though you obviously can’t handle my presence around you.” Jin said, trailing a touch through his hair and Kame wanted to pull back, but stubbornly remained in his seat. “You shut me out and you try to keep me at a distance. When I break into your personal space you get all jumpy and nervous…that makes it very hard for me to get close to you, but I rather like that. You’re challenging me again to have you. It gives our relationship more thrill and brings back some memories, don’t you think?”
Kame wanted to protest when Jin’s hand moved from his hair, down his neck and stopping finally at the front of his shirt, grabbing it tightly so a small gasp escaped his lips. He stared into the eyes of the other boy, waiting for Jin’s next move and he held back another gasp as Jin undid the first few buttons on his shirt, slipping a hand inside it then and digging out his necklace then much to Kame’s surprise.
“This shouldn’t be around your neck.” Jin said, his voice stern, and Kame could only guess how Jin had even known it was there in the first place. Had Jin seen it? “Its place is on your finger.”
The leader brushed fingers over the jewellery a few times before releasing it back to fall against Kame’s chest and letting his hand soon follow there so that this time Kame had to lean into the free seat beside him.
“A-Akanishi-san, there are others here!” Kame stuttered out. It was the best way he could think of to refuse this advancing, not that it had ever worked in the shower stalls anyway.
Jin pushed him further back onto his seat and the next one, crawling on top of him.
“I want to see how far you’ll let me go if I stop playing nice for a change.” Jin chuckled, hand going off somewhere that made everything go white before his eyes for a while there. “It’s not like I’m getting anywhere while I’m behaving. I think you need me deciding the pace, since you’ll never come to me yourself, will you? You’re waiting for me to get through to you the way I did in the beginning. That’s the only way you think anything will happen between us. If I go back to being myself you’ll let me do as I please because you know better than not to.”
Kame bit back the urge to let out a sound of either pleasure or distress. He didn’t know which, but he guessed on the later one even if Jin generally was great with his hands.
“Good boy.” Jin praised as he tried to keep still and remain passive. “I promise I’ll take away all those bad memories from you.” the leader added, brushing his body against Kame’s and Kame fisted his hands into the cushions of the seat. “I’ll make that secret wish of yours come true; I’ll force you to stop thinking about things. You’ll only know why you enjoyed spreading your legs for me as much as you did and even if you’ll hate me at first, you’ll come to love it again-”
Jin had barely finished that sentence as Kame had reflexively raised a trembling hand in front of them, his palm against Jin’s shirt, and he kept the leader at as much of a distance as he could. To his surprise Jin’s response was a taunting smile and his hand was released too easily from its death grip, ending up getting pinned above his head instead.
“You know that struggling only makes me more eager to have you.” Jin added into his ear, closer to him than before. “Only you could pull off seducing me like this while being traumatized.”
Jin’s voice was amused again, mocking him for how he was behaving. Jin wouldn’t understand, of course, how sex could lead to traumas. How sex could make one hate one’s own body. Jin had always enjoyed it. Kame wondered if Jin could never not enjoy it no matter who it was with or under what circumstances. Kame hadn’t always enjoyed it. He had loathed his own body for turning against him, making it too easy for him in the end to identify himself as a true boy toy, something Jin would never have done...
Kame startled as he heard a noise that didn’t belong in the setting he was, opening his eyes and finding himself back in Korea, in the apartment and on the big bed, where he had gone to sleep last night. The ringing noise continued until he had managed to recall where he had put his cell phone and he snatched it, pushing up the shell.
“H-Hello?” he answered, trying not to breathe so hard.
“Morning~” Jin’s voice greeted him. “Did I wake you up?”
Kame shot the time on his cell phone a quick look. It was almost ten. How was Jin up at this time?
“Uh…no, not really I was…uh, yeah, still asleep.” he confessed, as he was pretty sure Jin would see through his lie should he even try to tell one.
“Oh, sorry.” the older boy apologized. “But now that you’re awake, would you go with me somewhere?”
Kame hesitated to answer. He had avoided going anywhere with Jin after that break-in at Seoul World Cup Stadium, as he had wanted to set some things straight for himself, but he couldn’t keep refusing to meet Jin. He was running out of excuses and he was sure Jin didn’t buy even half of them. If he kept this up Jin would eventually confront him about what the hell he thought he was doing.
He just didn’t want to mess it up with Jin and felt as if he was. The more he thought about it the more he knew he had to make a decision. Either he went along with this and was prepared to take it all the way or then he’d break up. Kame feared that the later was the one he’d have to choose. He wasn’t in any condition to be Jin’s boyfriend as he was now. He wasn’t even sure he loved Jin…
He should meet and break it off with Jin today.
“I know you’ve been busy lately and that you haven’t felt well, but…” Jin said, counting some of the things they both knew were only his lousy excuses to get some space. “But I asked you to reserve this day for me weeks ago. I just really would like to spend it with you…”
Kame swallowed, feeling like such a jerk, and answered, “Today would be fine. Can I meet you in an hour?”
Jin’s voice clearly brightened at that. “Yeah, that’s great! Meet me outside and take a set of spare clothes with you!”
Spare clothes?
Kame frowned as he put the phone away, letting himself fall back on the bed and closed his eyes for a few minutes.
He hardly recognized his master anymore. Had he really known this little about Jin when he had used to go to bed with the older boy? His master would never have apologized to him, never asked him if it was okay to meet or do something… It had been really weird when Jin had slowly begun to treat him as a human being. Kame was sure it was at that point he had lost his knowledge of who he was with Jin.
~*~*~*~
It was barely noon when Kame stood outside and waited for Jin with a bag packed, containing an extra set of clothes, as Jin had instructed. A little nervously, but still sleepy, Kame wondered what Jin had in mind that could require a change of clothes…
“Ah, you’re already here!” Jin said, startling him as the leader suddenly appeared behind him. Kame hadn’t even heard the door open and slam. He must’ve really been lost in his thoughts. “Do you have everything? Shall we go then?”
Kame still doubted that this was a good idea, but followed Jin anyway without asking where they were going. Jin obviously had something in mind and he should figure out what that was before bringing up the subject of breaking up.
Out of all places Kame had expected any place but this to be the destination of their short journey. Hadn’t Jin told him that bathhouses equalled to sex houses?! Then why were they standing outside of one?
Kame suddenly realized he knew the answer to that one. This was a rather straightforward hint, even coming from Jin. He should break it off before they even stepped one foot in there.
“Jin, I…” he started, founding his voice betraying him as he met the other boy’s eyes.
“What is it?” Jin asked, studying him curiously and Kame knew this was his chance to say something but words weren’t coming out of his mouth so he ended up just shaking his head.
“N-nothing.” Kame replied, disappointed with his performance.
“Don’t worry.” Jin chuckled, patting his back. “This is the most decent one of them all. I reserved a room for us. We can just go in and have a look. If it seems okay, we can take a bath. They have lots of stuff in there, which usually means that they provide more services than just those. In either case I’m not going to let anyone near you.”
Others weren’t the only ones he was afraid of…
“But I…didn’t bring a swimsuit.” Kame pointed out. Then again maybe he wouldn’t need one. That made him even less inspired to go in.
“I got you one.” Jin said, much to Kame’s surprise and dismay. “I didn’t think you had packed something like that with you to Korea anyway.”
Well, that was true. Seeing as they were on the run from the Japanese police a swimsuit was the last thing Kame had thought of packing with him.
Defeated and still unable to say what he was holding in, Kame doubtfully followed Jin into the building and they were shown their room. It wasn’t as shabby as Kame had expected, but still far from any five star hotel room. For some reason it reminded Kame of the so-called Love Rooms back in prison.
He wanted to leave immediately.
“Jin.” he said, making an attempt to speak without looking at the other boy, but as he felt the boy’s gaze on him he was robbed of the courage to continue. “What…are we doing here?” he ended up asking instead and when he sent the leader an anxious glance he could see Jin smile back.
“We’re on a date, of course.” the gang leader replied, dropping his bag to the floor and removing his jacket. “Let’s start out with something relaxing. There are bubble baths!”
The thought of taking a bath was always welcoming to Kame, but having one with Jin hardly equalled to relaxing.
“Here’s your swimsuit and a bathrobe.” Jin said, handing them to Kame, who doubtfully accepted the items. He didn’t like having to change clothes with Jin in the same room and what was he going to do about his necklace?
Kame turned his back at Jin, hand sneaking up to the chain around his neck.
“I’ll just…use the bathroom first.” he excused himself, taking his swimsuit and bathrobe with him, locking himself in there and breathing out in relief.
Removing his shirt, he gazed at the ring resting against his chest. Jin had worn his ring today too. He hadn’t seen Jin not wear it for as long as he could remember. Jin had only taken it off in prison once.
He changed into his swimsuit and bathrobe quickly before unlocking the door and sneaking out to see Jin having changed too. The older boy shot him a somewhat amused smile as their eyes met and Kame knew Jin thought he was being silly. It wasn’t as if Jin hadn’t seen him naked plenty of times before.
“Let’s go then?” Jin asked and Kame nodded, putting his clothes away and slipping his ring and necklace in under them, hiding them there.
Kame stuck close to Jin as they walked down the corridors, searching for the right place. At first they only came across more hotel rooms, but after having walked a little further, past some suspicious small rooms filled with suspicious distant sounds, they finally found what they were looking for and Kame breathed out in relief as they entered the shower room that was thankfully empty.
“We need to wash up first.” Jin said and Kame felt rather flushed, seeing Jin take off the robe and walk over towards a shower only in his swimsuit. Kame doubted, fist tightening on his own robe.
“A-actually…I forgot the shampoo in our room.” he said and Jin turned to give him a curious look. “I’ll be right back, wait for me by the pool!”
He dashed out of there before Jin could figure out he had never taken shampoo with him. Maybe there was some in their room.
He didn’t even care about the creepy rooms right now as he raced down the corridors in a speed that would’ve made it practically impossible for anyone to catch him and rail him in somewhere. He had made it all the way to the door of their room when realizing Jin had the key. Since he wasn’t exactly good at picking locks, Kame slowly turned on his heels and dragged his feet back to the shower room, grateful that Jin had already showered when he returned. The room was empty so Jin was probably by the pool by now. Relieved, Kame hung the towel and the robe aside, picking a shower.
He enjoyed a quick shower, but then as he tried to turn the water off it wouldn’t turn off.
Kame frowned. Was this thing broken somehow? No matter what he did the water wouldn’t stop raining over him. He stepped away from it, but the water still kept coming. Kame was contemplating on just leaving it like that when suddenly all of the other showers turned on as well.
What the?! Was this a joke? Was it some technical error?
Kame hurried to grab his towel and robe and positioned himself at a shower-free spot in order not to get his stuff wet, when suddenly something long poked his butt. He knew all too well what that was.
Spinning around, Kame found himself face to face with Rain.
“Hey, Akanishi’s boy.”
Well, at least it wasn’t boy toy anymore.
Kame wrapped the towel around him tighter, fighting to get the robe on too, much to the other man’s amusement.
“Interesting to find you here.” Rain continued, swinging his cane around in the air a few times and to his annoyance Kame found how his robe came undone after that again. He was sure this man had done it on purpose!
Why did the Korean man even bring a cane to a bathhouse? Actually Kame didn’t want to know the answer to that one.
Positioning the end of the cane on the floor, Rain leaned onto it, fixing his eyes on Kame’s. “Want to take a bath with me?”
“Take a cold one by yourself.” a man suddenly said exactly what Kame had wanted to reply and Kame’s jaw dropped to the floor as he saw Se7en walk in. Had he been thinking about anything else besides for the fact that he was surrounded by two men wearing what seemed like only towels around their hips, Kame might have noticed the showers turning off by the arrival of the other Korean man.
Se7en’s eyes wandered from Rain’s and met Kame’s bewildered look.
“Don’t accuse me of following your around this time. This is the last place I thought I’d find you hanging around at.” the man said and as Kame didn’t protest to that Se7en’s gaze locked on Rain’s again. “You could have an accident with that thing in here.”
“I can handle water.” Rain retorted back something in Korean that Kame didn’t understand.
“Maybe, but you can’t stop your urges to use that thing.” Se7en continued in Korean and Kame wondered if the two men were leaving him out of this conversation on purpose.
“But you are quite good at it by now.” Rain said, eyes escaping down to Se7en’s towel for a moment. “Why are you acting like such a good boy? I know you’re as bad as me.”
“Not quite, but close.” Se7en replied and Rain moved in a little closer.
Kame still didn’t get a word they were saying, but it seemed like the two weren’t too fond of each other and were caught up in something of their own. He remained still in his position beside the two, hoping his existence would go unnoticed and he could slip out of there at a suitable moment.
“Oh come on, isn’t it about time you gave into what you’ve so far only allowed yourself to look at?” Rain taunted, shooting Kame a glance. “You know you want to, so don’t give me that nice guy routine. He’s too cute to resist.”
Se7en ripped his gaze off of the still confused looking Kame to eye the other player instead. “He’s got a boyfriend.”
“One he can’t be close to.” Rain pointed out.
“He loves him.”
“It’s never been a problem before.” Rain shrugged and Se7en was kind of keen to know what Rain’s record looked like. He had to admit he wanted to compare their histories as players and see who would impress the other.
Rain was right about him and Se7en wouldn’t say it out loud, but he felt sort of sorry for Kame, who seemed everything but stable and was watching them without a clue of what they were talking about.
“I know we don’t usually go for anyone involved, but let’s make an exception.” Rain tempted, laying an arm over the other player’s naked shoulder. “Just this once. His boyfriend is a player. Think of the challenge. This prey is with another, possessive player, who’d surely put all of his effort into stopping us because Akanishi has yet to reach the same goal as we do with his cute boyfriend, who is incapable of having sex. This boy would be the greatest victory ever.”
Se7en’s eyes darted towards Kame, who was looking back and forth between them both, probably having heard familiar names being thrown around in their discussion, but unable to figure out what they were talking about. Se7en kind of felt he was doing something behind Kame-chan’s back, speaking in a code the Japanese boy couldn’t decode.
“And also the greatest defeat.” Rain added, catching Se7en’s attention again. “Should you fail and either I or Akanishi would win. We’re three players here, so the risk for that is bigger this time therefore I understand completely if you don’t want to risk having your name and reputation stained with a defeat. You’ve never lost before, have you?”
No, Se7en hadn’t and he had competed over preys with other players before. He had just never competed with Rain before. Because of Rain’s reputation he had to admit he had always wanted to.
“Neither have I.” Rain added. “So what do you say?”
Se7en rarely hesitated, but he did now, shooting Kame one more look before meeting Rain’s challenging gaze again. “He’ll defeat the one who wins him. He did it to Akanishi already. You know what a player Akanishi was. If we go through with this game everyone will lose including the guy, who sleeps with him.”
Kame was getting really frustrated, as he kept shooting both men looks, but neither would let him in on their conversation. They had said both his and Jin’s name a couple of times already, and even though they were Korean they still used the cute ‘-chan’ ending with his name which Kame found highly unflattering to hear thrown into even a foreign language. What were they talking about? Kame hoped Se7en was on his side, should there be trouble. He should go before Jin would come looking for him and find him with two half naked men.
“Are you afraid you’ll fall in love with him?” Rain chuckled. “Just because he was Akanishi’s type doesn’t mean he’ll be ours. You know that. Besides Akanishi was stuck with this boy in prison.”
“That makes no difference.” Se7en retorted. “Akanishi always changed boy toys before. Akanishi got stuck with him because he wanted Kame-chan too much. There was something in Kame-chan that challenged the player side in him and something that twirled him around Kame-chan’s finger in the process.”
“Well, as I said, if you think this is out of your league…” Rain said, teasingly and Se7en’s jaw tightened.
“You’re on.”
“Do you need a handicap?”
“No more than you do.” Se7en replied. “I take it the normal rules follow. May the best player win.”
“Happy hunting.” Rain smiled tauntingly.
That didn’t look too good for some reason, Kame concluded, as he studied how the two had finished their discussion and turned towards him. “Uh, so are we all right?”
The men exchanged glances before looking at him again.
“We’re fine, Kame-chan.” Se7en replied, turning back to Rain then. “Shower now?”
Rain smiled, pointing with his cane towards the showers. “After you.”
Kame hurried out as the Korean boys removed their towels and chose a shower each.
Jin gave him a surprised look as he practically flew out of the shower room and hurried over to the pool Jin was in.
“Ready?” the leader asked in that same amused tone and Kame nodded furiously. He wasn’t returning in there for a while. “Come in, it’s nice.”
Kame hesitated, as he put his towel away and opened on his robe a bit. He didn’t like the thought of going into a pool with Jin, he felt naked.
A smile painted Jin’s face as the older boy watched him stand there and Jin leaned back with a small sigh, shutting his eyes and Kame took the opportunity to discard his robe and slip in under the bubbles fast.
“Ah~ This feels good!” Jin let out.
Kame refused to think about how many times Jin had sounded like that in other situations that also didn’t require much clothing. That set his gaze wandering to places it shouldn’t and he had to rip his eyes off the naked chest that was from time to time visible to him from under the bubbles.
“This really relieves any stress that has built up inside the body.” Jin continued, cracking an eye open to watch him as if looking for a response.
“I-it’s nice!” Kame hurried to agree.
Why was there no one else here? Were all the others in those small rooms? Se7en and Rain weren’t coming here either…Kame had a feeling they had found themselves in some respective rooms as well. He shut that thought out.
It was early and people in these blocks generally went to the shabbier bathhouses for sex and that’s probably what the visitors of this one too were doing in some private rooms, Kame answered the question for himself.
Suddenly his attention was brought back to Jin, as he saw the older boy move, and he tried not to eye the older boy so warily when Jin made his way over to him. Kame wanted to flee and throw the robe back on, but he settled for pulling up his knees in front of him, sinking slightly lower in the process.
“Does it fit?” Jin asked, stopping next to him and sending a look down his body that was pretty concealed by the massive amount of bubbles. “The swimsuit.”
“Perfectly.” Kame replied. A little too perfectly. He had lost weight over the past few months, how did Jin still know his size so well?
“Great.” the older boy smiled, leaning back again and closing his eyes.
Kame jumped a bit as suddenly a hand came in contact with his thigh.
“Oops, I was aiming for your hand.” Jin mumbled, not opening his eyes and the hand managed to find his arm, roaming down it to his hand.
Kame made an attempt to relax, leaning back too and closing his eyes. Actually this was quite nice. He had always liked taking baths and this bubble one massaged his tired body so comfortably while Jin’s fingers massaged his. Kame smiled, answering to the touch and for the longest time they just sat there listening to the noise the pool made. Kame thought he could almost fall asleep where he sat…
His peacefulness was abruptly interrupted by the touch of wet lips against his own and he startled so much he almost fell under the surface.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” Jin laughed, pulling him up and guiding him to sit in between Jin’s legs with his back against Jin’s chest. “You just looked so irresistible like that.”
Kame tried not to show how his body was everything but relaxed anymore as he felt Jin’s naked skin against his, the only thing separating them was the bubbles and the swimsuits. Jin’s hands were on his shoulders, massaging them, but he couldn’t enjoy the treatment.
You can’t keep on doing these things to me, he wanted to say. He wanted to remind Jin that he hadn’t claimed he was any saner now, but at the same time he had given Jin hope and that’s why Jin was moving in closer. He had seen this coming, why hadn’t he done anything about it sooner?
“S-so, what else is there to do here?” he asked. He really wanted out of the bath, but saying he was cold could only give Jin ideas how to warm him up. What if Jin had really taken him here with the same purposes in mind everyone else visiting these bathhouses seemed to have?
“I think they have a bigger pool here somewhere and a sauna.” Jin spoke into his ear.
“R-really?” Kame asked. “That’s great. Should we look around a bit?”
Jin stopped massaging as he had said that and instead hugged his shoulders, the weight of Jin’s arms pressed him back into the boy behind him.
“Let’s just sit for a while longer.” Jin said and Kame saw no way out of the pool, so he obeyed.
He was half uncomfortable and tried to come up with something to say, but as nothing smart came to mind he focused on relaxing instead. Could he get used to this? If it was possible then he wouldn’t have to break up with Jin.
The thought alone made him feel sad and without really thinking he hugged the arms around him, once more so unaware of what his actions did to Jin. Had he been able to turn around he might’ve seen the sincere smile that covered Jin’s lips as they sat there for as long as Jin wanted to.
Kame let Jin slip out from the bubble-filled pool first and followed behind, slipping in under his towel. He hoped this was the end of their swimming, but fate was never on his side as Jin grabbed his wrist, dragging him along towards bigger pools with a cheery, “Let’s go swim over there!”
The water didn’t bubble, so it was impossible to hide in it and Kame was tempted to stay on dry ground, but with the way Jin was tugging him that kind idea wouldn’t do. Kame deserted the towel and the robe quickly as he was already to his knees in the water.
“Doesn’t this kind of remind you of that beach in Korea?” Jin asked, finally releasing his wrist and turning towards him.
Kame crossed his arms in front of his chest, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. Why had Jin brought that up?
“N-not at all.” he answered. He wasn’t about to give Jin any green lights for another sex on the ‘beach’. Jin seemed quite disappointed with his answer, so Kame decided to explain, “Both the air and the water are warm here. It’s indoors and…well, we are still being chased.”
A smile formed on Jin’s lips and Kame barely had time to wonder what thoughts were going through the leader’s mind when suddenly he received a good splash from the other one.
He coughed, wiping his face, and sent Jin a dumbfounded look. “Why did you do tha-”
Another splash cut him off. Then there was another and Kame took a few steps to the side, but noticed how that only made Jin follow after him, so he set to run, getting out of Jin’s range and when Jin caught up enough with him he returned the favor.
“I’m going to get your for this!” Jin said between coughing up water.
“You started it!” Kame insisted, starting to swim into deeper areas where his feet didn’t even reach the bottom anymore, all awhile kicking water at Jin, trying to follow him.
Then suddenly Jin had disappeared. Kame stopped swimming, looking around. Jin hadn’t…drowned, had he?
His eyebrows furrowed worriedly together and he was just about to call out Jin’s name when something or rather someone grabbed his ankle and pulled him under the surface, where his foot was released and instead he was captured by his wrist and pulled into the shape he could make out as Jin’s. He could even see Jin’s teasing smirk before the boy sealed lips on his, letting him go then to return to the surface.
As Kame peeked his head up from the under the surface as well, he was met by Jin’s laughter.
“You should’ve seen your face when I-” Jin was saying while bending in closer to Kame in an attempt to reach his lips again, but Kame never let that happen and neither did Jin get to finish his sentence as Kame spit out water at the approaching boy. Jin closed his eyes, water dripping down his nose and chin, looking not so pleased over having fallen for that. “Now you’ve done it!”
Kame pushed apart, kicking water at the chasing Jin again, but this time not stopping to see if Jin was still behind him. Instead he continued as fast as he could to another pool, where the water streamed through channels.
“I’m going to get you for this!” Jin threatened, half-heartedly, behind him and Kame hurried to slip into the water, feeling how the stream took him through the channels, which curved and sent him downhill from time to time. Kame had no idea where he was going to end up or what was waiting behind the next corner, but what was sure was that it couldn’t be worse than what was following him.
There was one last downhill in a rather fast speed until he was sent into a pool that didn’t stream at all and it was the end of the ride.
Kame gasped, reaching the surface again and reaching for his swimsuit that he had almost lost during the ride. Wouldn’t that just have been embarrassing and given Jin ideas? Kame cursed having lost so much weight, but he was grateful that this time he had been lucky and that the swimsuit wasn’t somewhere at the bottom of the pool.
“Oh shit.” Jin suddenly cursed, having been thrown into the water beside him, and Kame wondered if that had happened to Jin instead.
He was kind of scared to ask, “What is it?”
Jin didn’t meet his eyes, being too busy looking around.
“My ring, I lost it. I should’ve left it at our room, but I never take it off so I didn’t even think of doing it now either.” the leader offered a quick explanation before diving and staying under for quite long, searching the bottom of the pool.
Kame shot a look around. The ring was so small, it could be anywhere. What if Jin had lost it already in the streaming pool? Or during the water fight? Or maybe while having a bubble bath? Either way, they could start by searching here.
Taking a deep breath Kame also dived in under the surface and searched the bottom with his hands. But no matter how times they dived, the ring just wouldn’t be found. Nevertheless Jin wasn’t giving up and it kind of surprised Kame to see how persistent Jin was. Jin’s eyes had to be really red after all that diving, but Jin just kept going even though time passed and it was starting to seem really hopeless.
“It’s got to be here somewhere…” Jin muttered, mostly for himself, taking a deep breath before diving again.
Maybe this was a sign, Kame thought miserably. He was trying to break up with Jin and now Jin lost the ring. Then Jin probably wouldn’t find it. Kame realized how bad it felt to think that ring would be lost in some pool and Jin would never wear it again…
“Here it is!” Jin exclaimed, suddenly shooting up from under the water, holding between two fingers the silver jewellery. Kame could only stare, even if his eyes were hurting a bit by now too.
The leader examined the jewellery with a pleased expression before slipping it onto his finger again.
“I don’t think I’m going swimming again. Let’s hit the sauna.” Jin suggested then and Kame was rooted to the floor. “I could really use that right now and you’re probably cold too…”
Kame nodded. He was too cold and too tired to think about if it was a wise idea and just followed Jin to the sauna.
However as they sat down next to each other in the hot room, Kame was slowly starting to gain his energy and senses back and was also getting more and more aware of the sweat running down Jin’s body, the deep breaths coming from Jin’s parted lips…
Kame turned his head away, not understanding why he was so tempted to look. But by not allowing himself to gaze at Jin, his mind was instead invaded by memories of Jin’s body covered with sweat, Jin’s breath out of control in his ear whenever they…
Kame shook his head, burying his face against his knees drawn up before him. Why was it so difficult to breathe in here? And how hot was it in a sauna really? Sweat just poured down him and unexpectedly perverted images were clouding his mind.
He had to get out of here!
“Uh, Jin?” he said, making the mistake of looking at the other boy and he focused on Jin’s eyes, as the older boy opened them to meet his.
“Mm?” Jin murmured in a soft, satisfied tone.
“You look hot, so-” Kame started, turning bright red then. “I-I mean, should we go back to the room now and cool off?”
Jin shut his eyes, stretching his muscles and Kame found himself trailing with his gaze the drops travelling down Jin’s chest as the leader did that.
“I guess we should…” the older boy agreed and this time Kame led them out, being first by a shower too. He was relieved that the showers were obedient this time around and with as few glances in Jin’s direction as possible he washed the sweat off, drying off then and putting on his robe.
For some reason the nervousness he had been feeling had unexpectedly disappeared for a while there, but as they started walking back towards their room it was gradually coming back to him.
“Oh, and remember, if anyone comes up to you and asks you if you want a treatment of some kind, refuse immediately.” Jin warned and Kame shot him an inquiring look and Jin added, “Treatment in these blocks means full treatment.”
“Full treatment?” Kame repeated and Jin just returned his gaze quietly at first.
“Trust me, you don’t want that.” Jin said then, opening the door to their room. “I’ll give you a treatment instead if you want one.”
Kame wasn’t sure he wanted that either. He turned back to Jin, as the leader shut the door and locked it. “So…what now?”
He slightly regretted asking that as Jin took a step towards him.
“We could stay here for a while and eat, then…” Jin said, but didn’t finish that line, which made Kame a little uncomfortable. “Then we’ll see what we feel like doing.” the leader added. “I took you here because…I just thought you liked taking baths, so this could help you relax after our last date. You’ve been sort of avoiding me ever since…”
“N-no, I haven’t.” Kame hurried to answer. Yes he had. He had wanted some space to get things sorted out for himself, but he hadn’t sorted out anything. He was still as confused and he had finally ended up with two possibly ways of dealing with his situation. Either he’d just do it with Jin or then end their relationship. He wouldn’t start making Jin feel lonely by being distant again. “I’ve been…meaning to talk to you about something.”
“About what?” Jin asked and Kame hesitated. The words got stuck in his throat again.
“Ah, it’s nothing.” he ended up saying instead after just standing there quiet for the longest time. He was frustrated with himself. Why was it so hard to say? He had said worse things to Jin and he had spoken out as Jin’s boy toy about things that were bigger than him, why couldn’t he find the courage now? Slightly depressed he added instead, “I’m hungry.”
“I’ll call and tell them to get us something.” Jin said and Kame momentarily wondered if this place usually served room service. It did now that Jin was the one to call and the ordered food arrived quite fast too along with a bottle of champagne.
At first Kame doubted drinking alcohol and going bathing was a good idea, but he came to find that alcohol had a somewhat calming effect on him. Even though he didn’t drink a lot, some pressure inside him seemed to fade by every glass.
Still he wasn’t calm enough as they finished their meals. It was a bad idea to go swimming just after eating and Jin had said he didn’t want to do that anymore, so what were they going to do now?
Jin lied down on his back on the bed, letting out a satisfied sigh and resting his tummy. “That was unexpectedly delicious.”
Kame downed the remains of his glass, tempted to call and ask for another bottle as Jin lifted a hand to run a touch down the sleeve of his robe, hand landing on his then and he let it be there although he had rather pulled apart.
Just the thought of sex seemed to make his heart beat so fast it felt like it would break his chest. There was this tight feeling in his chest and he shivered.
He wasn’t over what had happened. He wasn’t even near over it. He thought he had gotten somewhere, but these same emotions still returned to him no matter what he did. He had tried to open up and done what the gangsters had suggested him to do. Why wasn’t anything working? Why was he still such a wreck?
Maybe it was impossible to return to how he had used to be. Maybe he’d always feel resentment when Jin was close or wanted close. He had probably opened a door in his mind that couldn’t be closed again.
This had gone on for too long. Their relationship had developed too far for him to handle it. He needed to break it off now before things got any more out of his hands.
He slipped his hand out from under Jin’s and turned hesitantly towards the boy, being greeted by a smile as he did so and it made Kame feel really bad inside once more. Jin had no idea what he was trying to accomplish, but in the end it was not only for his but also Jin’s best that he got this over and done with.
“Jin, I…” he choked out.
“Hm?” the older boy murmured. Somehow the older boy’s eyes looked warm. “What is it?”
And Kame couldn’t get a word out this time either. Jin looked at him funnily and Kame guessed he was probably amusing the older boy again. Why couldn’t he do it? Why did he always hesitate?
Just tell him. Just do it. This will never work. You’ll never be able to give him what he needs. You should never have agreed to date in the first place. Break it off before it gets any more complicated! Or before he tries to jump you and you cause a scene…
Kame swallowed, meeting Jin’s eyes again. “There’s something… I need to talk to you about something…”
“What?” Jin asked, slowly sitting up and those eyes were suddenly closer to him than a while ago. As Jin still looked so cheerful, he couldn’t say it.
How had he gotten himself into this mess, he wondered for the umpteenth time. What would have happened if he had had this revelation earlier and he hadn’t kept on bugging the older boy? Would Jin still be a player then? Would Jin have found someone else and become that person’s boyfriend? Would he still be in Todai studying law? Would he have eventually taken Masa’s side against Jin for revenge or heartache?
“Did I…ruin your life?”
For some reason that question had rolled over his lips instead of the words he had tried to make himself say. Jin gave him a surprised look, not really following.
He had known since the start that his presence around Jin always caused Jin trouble and he was starting to get tired of that role.
“Are you happy with your life right now? What do you think you would be doing right now if…” Kame started, hesitating and deciding it was probably not something he should be asking. How could Jin say for sure anyway? But he yearned to know what Jin had been planning on doing in a life without him…
“If what?” Jin asked and Kame tried to stay silent, but Jin wouldn’t give up and continued to send him a curious look until he gave in and completed his question.
“If I had just continued to go to school and you would’ve continued to live like you do now.” Kame added and he watched realization reflect upon Jin’s face as of why he had hesitated to ask and the older boy broke their eye-contact for a while. “What would your life be like then? Would you have continued to…?”
He couldn’t finish the question, but Jin knew the rest.
“No.” the older boy answered. “Once a player falls in love, it’s all over for him. There’s no going back. I knew it all along, even if I tried to fight against it, but it got harder and harder to stay away from you. In the end I would’ve used any excuse to see you.”
He would’ve used any excuse to see Jin too. In the end he had been ready to just have one-night stand with Jin if that was all he could get. He had missed and loved Jin that much. He wished he could do that again. He was wasting precious time he had with Jin, not enjoying to the fullest the moments they shared. He hated himself for that.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jin said and that startled Kame out of his thoughts. “No matter what you face, eventually you always manage to overcome it. You’re so much more than what meets the eye. You don’t even know what you’ve got.”
“W-what?” he asked, not believing what he had just heard. Jin had said the same thing before. The last time he hadn’t gotten an answer, because Jin had been his master, but this time he might be in a position to ask. “What do you mean by that? What have I got?”
“What?” Jin chuckled at the unexpected reaction and the seriousness in Kame’s tone.
“Why did you put up with me? Why do you do it now?” Kame asked and Jin was taken aback a bit by the way Kame kept shoving questions at him. “I had nothing more than anyone before me! I broke your rules and I didn’t understand how things worked in prison! Why did you let me stay for longer than anyone else? Why do you still want to be with me? What is it that I’ve got?”
For years he had been dying to hear the answer to that question. He was desperate to know and he hoped that this time Jin would answer.
“Because you were…different.” Jin replied then and Kame frowned. That was it? He had just been so unlike the gangsters and the average prisoners? Was that what he had had that had attracted Jin’s attention? “I can’t answer your question…or any of them. I never could.”
Kame was disappointed although he knew he shouldn’t be. Of course Jin wouldn’t answer him.
Seeing how he probably looked as depressed as he felt, Jin hurried to continue, “I can’t explain why. I don’t know why. I can list a dozen things that make me like you, but it will still not be enough. You were challenging, unpredictable at times and you had the guts to defy me when you thought you needed to, those are all things that I appreciated as a player, but it was also more than that. You make life interesting in a way games never could. You’re loyal to what you believe in and to the people whose side you take, you even naively believe in others, you’re damn cute in bed and I could go on, but it’s still not enough.”
Kame refused a blush at that point. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked after all.
“That night, when you asked me those things, I told you not to because I couldn’t admit to you what you were doing to me.” Jin said. “I thought I’d lose face and that you’d see me as something else than a master. I needed that role and I clung to it in order not to let you in, but you did crawl in somehow and you changed me. I fought long and hard against what you were doing to me, but I lost in the end and I’m damn glad I did. So yes, I’m happy with my life right now.”
“You are?” Kame asked and Jin smiled.
“I’m glad to be here with you today.” Jin replied. “Thank you for trying so hard with me.”
Kame felt a sting in his heart as he heard Jin say that, as he had been contemplating on leaving Jin. “Jin, I…” He didn’t want to break up, but that was a selfish thought. He braced himself. “I want to date you seriously.”
Kame couldn’t believe what he had just said and in terror he watched Jin smile the widest today.
“I was hoping for you to come to want that too.” the leader said. “I know you’ve needed to see if you were up for this, so I’ve known we haven’t really gone steady, but I’m glad you want to deepen our relationship. I don’t want to be on trial with you.”
And just like that he had committed himself one step further into this relationship. Why was he giving in to his feelings, when his body couldn’t keep up?
Kame just sat there dumbfounded, watching Jin get up from the bed.
“It’s getting late. Should we be heading back already?” Jin asked then. The bathhouses would get more crowded soon and he didn’t want Kame to see the stuff that went on in them when that happened.
Kame slowly managed a few nods, silently cursing himself as they got dressed, Kame in the bathroom again.
Jin seemed to be in an even better mood after the promise he had just made. That was just terrific. Why hadn’t he just promised Jin the world while he was at it?
Kame felt like kicking himself as they left the bathhouse, but he couldn’t deny he was kind of happy he hadn’t broken up with Jin. Was he selfish to want this relationship?
“Can I come in for a while?” Jin asked by the door to their apartment and Kame was a little taken aback by the request, giving the suggestion a quick thought before letting Jin in. “I have something to give you.” the leader added as they seated themselves in the living room and Kame was handed a small package that was gift wrapped. “Here, this is for you.”
“What is this for?” Kame asked, studying the present and Jin laughed.
“What are you talking about? It’s your birthday today, remember?” Jin replied and it was first then Kame understood why Jin had wanted him to take this day off so badly. He had been so confused with time and kept his mind occupied with other things that he had forgotten all about it. “I wanted you to have a good time today so I took you to the bathhouse, but don’t think I didn’t have a gift waiting for you.”
“You shouldn’t have.” Kame said.
“I’m your boyfriend.” Jin replied. “Let me spoil you from time to time.”
“I’m not your girlfriend.” Kame pointed out.
“I can still spoil you so let me do things for you.” Jin insisted. “Open it.”
Kame did and he couldn’t believe what was under the wrapping. Jin had gotten him lube for this birthday too?
“It’s massage oil.” Jin said in order to avoid any misinterpretations. “…This was a really bad idea for a present, wasn’t it?” Jin said then as Kame hadn’t said anything yet. “I just thought you might need it since working in the diner must be tough…”
“N-no! It wasn’t!” Kame hurried to reply. “Thank you.”
Jin’s eyes fell on the present and then on Kame’s eyes again. “Then shall we use it?”
Kame didn’t know how to refuse, so he nodded unsurely a few times.
“Sit down and take your socks off.” Jin said and Kame did, rolling up his jeans as far as they went which was somewhere under his knee.
Jin pulled one of his feet closer, having him slip down on the couch a bit and with oil started massaging. He laughed, trying to pull his leg back, but mostly Jin’s treatment was pleasurable. Jin was good with his hands Kame came to admit one more time.
“Mm…that feels good.” he murmured satisfied. It was pleasant even when it tickled, but his laughter soon died out and his smile faded as Jin had begun to massage higher, fingers escaping in under some clothing he wore and Kame started wondering what all places Jin was planning on massaging.
“Take your shirt off, I’ll do your back and arms too.” Jin suggested, but Kame hesitated, laying a hand over the collar of his shirt. If he took it off his ring would be exposed. He wasn’t even sure why he was hiding it, but he did. He didn’t want Jin to touch his upper body either. Jin’s touches never lacked impact and he was feeling slightly jumpy today.
As he wasn’t doing anything Jin seated himself closer, unleashing his hand from the hold it had on his shirt and took it into Jin’s oiled hands instead.
“I’ll give you a finger massage too.” Jin added then, rubbing over his fingers and stopping at one in particular a bit too long. “Why don’t you ever wear your ring anymore?”
Kame was a bit shocked at the question.
“Maybe I’m insensitive asking you that, but…you haven’t had it on for so long.” Jin continued, not letting go off his naked pinky. “It makes me a bit uneasy sometimes. To me those rings weren’t just something I made you wear in prison…”
Kame stammered for words, retrieving his hand from Jin’s as he slipped up from the couch as well.
“I just…I don’t want to get scratches on it.” he babbled out nervously. “It’s so important to me. I’ve kept it safe…”
He disappeared into the bedroom, making sure Jin wasn’t following him before pulling out the necklace from under his shirt. There the ring dangled safely. He hurried to release it from the necklace and randomly opened and closed a drawer, before returning to the living room, as if he had just fetched the ring from somewhere.
“Besides it could get…stolen.” he added, opening his fist to reveal to Jin the golden jewellery. “It became my most valuable possession already in prison. It holds so many memories and…it was my birthday when you gave me this ring.”
“It was?” Jin asked and Kame nodded, playing awkwardly with the object in his hands.
“My first birthday in prison.” Kame added, gaze falling to the floor. “That same night I asked you what I was to you.”
“Ah, well…I always get so confused with time in prison.” Jin said. “I had actually meant to give you that ring for a while before I finally did.”
Kame looked up at him in surprise. Really? Jin had held onto it before giving it to him? Had it been hidden under Jin’s mattress along with so many other things there?
“But I could never figure out when or how. I had to make sure you wouldn’t figure out how much I wanted you to wear that ring and by telling you that it would be a sign that I owned you was the only way for me to not come off as someone who was falling for you, so I kept thinking of ways and the right moment.” Jin confessed. “In bed? Before going to bed? In the afterglow before you’d fall asleep? After you’d wake up? I couldn’t decide and then it just happened.”
Kame looked at his ring again.
“Why did I…get the golden one?” he asked. Wasn’t the golden ring more valuable than the silver one? Shouldn’t Jin have worn it instead of him?
“Well, I kind of prefer wearing silver jewelleries.” Jin said. “They look good with my clothes…even the prison ones.” Jin shot him a somewhat unsure look. “Would you have preferred it the other way around?”
Kame smiled, slipping the jewellery onto his finger. “No. I like it this way.”
He couldn’t think of it any other way. He was too used to having this ring.
“Oh, good.” Jin smiled a bit relieved. “You know when I first asked Glay to make me a pair of pinky rings they suggested to do me a cock ring instead and asked for your size.”
Kame looked at him shocked.
“I didn’t tell them anything!” Jin hurried to say. “Though they bribed me with even putting my name on it…”
“Why…did you choose pinky rings?” Kame asked, letting the previous subject be forgotten.
Jin stretched his right hand to Kame’s left, fingers slipping into Kame’s. “Because they’re a bond, you see? Tie a red string from one pinky to another… That’s the whole meaning.”
A genuine smile slowly spread over his lips as Kame watched their hands and without breaking that bond, he slipped back down onto the couch, laying lips on the other boy’s before laying his head onto the broad shoulder, hugging Jin tightly with his free hand.
He had done it again. Where did these spontaneous needs of affection come from? He had held them back before as Jin’s boy toy, growing used to Jin always leading the show. Were these emotions resurfacing now too along with the bad memories he had held back? Absently he felt Jin’s free hand hug him back and he forgot about everything for a while, closing his eyes.
I think I do love you.
part 2
Chapter: 75/84
Pairings: Akame, TxT, KinKi Kids, TomaPi, RyoUchi, YunJae and many more.
Fandoms: JE, wFL, random Jboys, random Kboys and hints of tenimyu and dramas
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: please pay attention to possible separate warnings (e.g. spoiler warnings) posted at each chap, overall warnings for non-con, violence and language
Disclaimer: I own only the story.
Summary: AU. Kame's two years in prison and his life after that. In this chapter Kame-chan remembers something crucial to himself...
[Phase one] Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21
[Phase two] Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47
[Phase three] Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53 Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Chapter 56 Chapter 57 Chapter 58 Chapter 59 Chapter 60 Chapter 61 Chapter 62 Chapter 63 Chapter 64 Chapter 65 Chapter 66 Chapter 67 Chapter 68 Chapter 69 Chapter 70 Chapter 71 Chapter 72 Chapter 73 Chapter 74
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry... *does Super Junior dance*
I was hoping I could do a double-chap post, as I was writing on this one and the following quite at the same time, but I barely got this finished. Please don't imagine that I forget about you readers or this fic, you're always on my mind and I yearn to write, but school has kept me busy this fall. I'll probably disappear from the face of the earth until winter vacation that starts in a week. By then I will have my exams and other school stuff over, so I'll pop by here and then try to write more on the fic too ^^ Thanks to the lovely Cata for coming through with the beta-ing again <3
This is a really long chapter, but hope you'll enjoy it!
Chapter 75
Kame had never been on dates before he had met Jin. He had always known he was missing out on something, but he hadn’t thought he had missed out this much.
He laughed together with the person in the next seat, the man with one arm laid over his shoulders in a comfortable way. The right person could make any place and any moment feel special. They didn’t need big opening nights at fancy theatres. This old one in the gangsters’ blocks worked just fine. Besides they had more room for themselves as it was almost only the two of them there. They didn’t need big production Hollywood movies either. The Korean movie they were watching now had them more entertained, as they weren’t exactly sure what was happening and why.
“I don’t really get it…was he trying to bury him?” Jin asked with laughter in his voice. “And then he didn’t succeed? Why? Didn’t they just do it?”
“I have no clue.” Kame replied, chuckling as he was trying to keep up with the movie that naturally didn’t include any subtitles. “What kind of a relationship do they have except for him being a whore and the other guy buying him for a night? How did he end up trying to bury his customer…?”
Somehow, unknowingly, they had ended up choosing another movie about two male lovers, which made Kame slightly uncomfortable during certain scenes - those hot love ones that ought to make you feel hot yourself only made him want to squirm in his seat, wishing they would end. He hadn’t missed either that at that point Jin’s arm previously immobile on his shoulders had then absently started playing with his one sleeve, touching him through the fabric.
Now it seemed as if the movie would end badly. Kame couldn’t see why every gay-themed movie always ended tragically like with character death. It was somehow discouraging. People should stop making such a big deal over who to love. The important thing was to love.
Kame wished he could escape into the illusion of that emotion. Love didn’t seem to want to find him, comfort him, but at the same time it would blind him into thinking he could behave any way he wanted with the man next to him.
Kame refused the urge to look at the person next to him, still massaging his shoulder through the clothes he wore and by that Kame knew he was in real trouble. He knew the earlier scenes they had seen would get the boy next to him fired up and now it seemed his date was planning on doing something about it. That was only to be expected. He had held Akanishi Jin off for more than long and he just waited for the calmness in Jin to be stirred up, like waiting for storm to rise on a calm evening. He couldn’t believe how carefree he had started to behave in the presence of this person and how he had been able to forget what this man was capable of.
His body grew tenser under the arm still resting over his shoulders, as he tried to ignore the playful hand and appear as if he didn’t even notice it, that he didn’t understand the subtle hints relayed to him through Jin’s touches. He didn’t dare to send the boy next to him as much as a glance and neither could he move away, so he just sat there and wished he could shrink or become invisible. Even breathing normally felt like a difficult task. He would’ve taken any opportunity to escape out of the theatre, but he knew by now that would prove to be a grave mistake. It was better to just sit obediently there and not do anything to piss the powerful leader off.
It was his own fault. He had abandoned all reason and gone out with this man. Instead he should’ve run while he had still had the chance.
“Don’t be so tense.”
Kame flinched, managing to see how his reaction had caused a small smirk to appear on Jin’s face before he ducked his head a bit. From the corner of his eyes he could see Jin’s gaze was still set on the movie, but in truth the leader wasn’t watching it anymore.
“You amaze me.” Jin continued and Kame didn’t reply. He didn’t ask why. He didn’t want to interrupt. “You were always were unpredictable, but I would never have guessed you’d go as far as to still want to be with me after remembering everything I did to you. I didn’t think you’d fall for me the first time around, but that you’d go and do it again is quite an achievement even for you. Most people would never even claim to love the person who abused them much less try to embark into a relationship with him, but you have your own way of doing things. How far do you want to push it until you’ll see there isn’t a future for us?”
Kame jumped in his seat as he felt Jin turn towards him, eyes leaving the movie and setting on his face instead. As he slowly managed to lift his gaze to the other boy he saw how Jin was studying his face looking rather amused.
“Nevertheless I like the fact that you’re trying to be with me even though you obviously can’t handle my presence around you.” Jin said, trailing a touch through his hair and Kame wanted to pull back, but stubbornly remained in his seat. “You shut me out and you try to keep me at a distance. When I break into your personal space you get all jumpy and nervous…that makes it very hard for me to get close to you, but I rather like that. You’re challenging me again to have you. It gives our relationship more thrill and brings back some memories, don’t you think?”
Kame wanted to protest when Jin’s hand moved from his hair, down his neck and stopping finally at the front of his shirt, grabbing it tightly so a small gasp escaped his lips. He stared into the eyes of the other boy, waiting for Jin’s next move and he held back another gasp as Jin undid the first few buttons on his shirt, slipping a hand inside it then and digging out his necklace then much to Kame’s surprise.
“This shouldn’t be around your neck.” Jin said, his voice stern, and Kame could only guess how Jin had even known it was there in the first place. Had Jin seen it? “Its place is on your finger.”
The leader brushed fingers over the jewellery a few times before releasing it back to fall against Kame’s chest and letting his hand soon follow there so that this time Kame had to lean into the free seat beside him.
“A-Akanishi-san, there are others here!” Kame stuttered out. It was the best way he could think of to refuse this advancing, not that it had ever worked in the shower stalls anyway.
Jin pushed him further back onto his seat and the next one, crawling on top of him.
“I want to see how far you’ll let me go if I stop playing nice for a change.” Jin chuckled, hand going off somewhere that made everything go white before his eyes for a while there. “It’s not like I’m getting anywhere while I’m behaving. I think you need me deciding the pace, since you’ll never come to me yourself, will you? You’re waiting for me to get through to you the way I did in the beginning. That’s the only way you think anything will happen between us. If I go back to being myself you’ll let me do as I please because you know better than not to.”
Kame bit back the urge to let out a sound of either pleasure or distress. He didn’t know which, but he guessed on the later one even if Jin generally was great with his hands.
“Good boy.” Jin praised as he tried to keep still and remain passive. “I promise I’ll take away all those bad memories from you.” the leader added, brushing his body against Kame’s and Kame fisted his hands into the cushions of the seat. “I’ll make that secret wish of yours come true; I’ll force you to stop thinking about things. You’ll only know why you enjoyed spreading your legs for me as much as you did and even if you’ll hate me at first, you’ll come to love it again-”
Jin had barely finished that sentence as Kame had reflexively raised a trembling hand in front of them, his palm against Jin’s shirt, and he kept the leader at as much of a distance as he could. To his surprise Jin’s response was a taunting smile and his hand was released too easily from its death grip, ending up getting pinned above his head instead.
“You know that struggling only makes me more eager to have you.” Jin added into his ear, closer to him than before. “Only you could pull off seducing me like this while being traumatized.”
Jin’s voice was amused again, mocking him for how he was behaving. Jin wouldn’t understand, of course, how sex could lead to traumas. How sex could make one hate one’s own body. Jin had always enjoyed it. Kame wondered if Jin could never not enjoy it no matter who it was with or under what circumstances. Kame hadn’t always enjoyed it. He had loathed his own body for turning against him, making it too easy for him in the end to identify himself as a true boy toy, something Jin would never have done...
Kame startled as he heard a noise that didn’t belong in the setting he was, opening his eyes and finding himself back in Korea, in the apartment and on the big bed, where he had gone to sleep last night. The ringing noise continued until he had managed to recall where he had put his cell phone and he snatched it, pushing up the shell.
“H-Hello?” he answered, trying not to breathe so hard.
“Morning~” Jin’s voice greeted him. “Did I wake you up?”
Kame shot the time on his cell phone a quick look. It was almost ten. How was Jin up at this time?
“Uh…no, not really I was…uh, yeah, still asleep.” he confessed, as he was pretty sure Jin would see through his lie should he even try to tell one.
“Oh, sorry.” the older boy apologized. “But now that you’re awake, would you go with me somewhere?”
Kame hesitated to answer. He had avoided going anywhere with Jin after that break-in at Seoul World Cup Stadium, as he had wanted to set some things straight for himself, but he couldn’t keep refusing to meet Jin. He was running out of excuses and he was sure Jin didn’t buy even half of them. If he kept this up Jin would eventually confront him about what the hell he thought he was doing.
He just didn’t want to mess it up with Jin and felt as if he was. The more he thought about it the more he knew he had to make a decision. Either he went along with this and was prepared to take it all the way or then he’d break up. Kame feared that the later was the one he’d have to choose. He wasn’t in any condition to be Jin’s boyfriend as he was now. He wasn’t even sure he loved Jin…
He should meet and break it off with Jin today.
“I know you’ve been busy lately and that you haven’t felt well, but…” Jin said, counting some of the things they both knew were only his lousy excuses to get some space. “But I asked you to reserve this day for me weeks ago. I just really would like to spend it with you…”
Kame swallowed, feeling like such a jerk, and answered, “Today would be fine. Can I meet you in an hour?”
Jin’s voice clearly brightened at that. “Yeah, that’s great! Meet me outside and take a set of spare clothes with you!”
Spare clothes?
Kame frowned as he put the phone away, letting himself fall back on the bed and closed his eyes for a few minutes.
He hardly recognized his master anymore. Had he really known this little about Jin when he had used to go to bed with the older boy? His master would never have apologized to him, never asked him if it was okay to meet or do something… It had been really weird when Jin had slowly begun to treat him as a human being. Kame was sure it was at that point he had lost his knowledge of who he was with Jin.
~*~*~*~
It was barely noon when Kame stood outside and waited for Jin with a bag packed, containing an extra set of clothes, as Jin had instructed. A little nervously, but still sleepy, Kame wondered what Jin had in mind that could require a change of clothes…
“Ah, you’re already here!” Jin said, startling him as the leader suddenly appeared behind him. Kame hadn’t even heard the door open and slam. He must’ve really been lost in his thoughts. “Do you have everything? Shall we go then?”
Kame still doubted that this was a good idea, but followed Jin anyway without asking where they were going. Jin obviously had something in mind and he should figure out what that was before bringing up the subject of breaking up.
Out of all places Kame had expected any place but this to be the destination of their short journey. Hadn’t Jin told him that bathhouses equalled to sex houses?! Then why were they standing outside of one?
Kame suddenly realized he knew the answer to that one. This was a rather straightforward hint, even coming from Jin. He should break it off before they even stepped one foot in there.
“Jin, I…” he started, founding his voice betraying him as he met the other boy’s eyes.
“What is it?” Jin asked, studying him curiously and Kame knew this was his chance to say something but words weren’t coming out of his mouth so he ended up just shaking his head.
“N-nothing.” Kame replied, disappointed with his performance.
“Don’t worry.” Jin chuckled, patting his back. “This is the most decent one of them all. I reserved a room for us. We can just go in and have a look. If it seems okay, we can take a bath. They have lots of stuff in there, which usually means that they provide more services than just those. In either case I’m not going to let anyone near you.”
Others weren’t the only ones he was afraid of…
“But I…didn’t bring a swimsuit.” Kame pointed out. Then again maybe he wouldn’t need one. That made him even less inspired to go in.
“I got you one.” Jin said, much to Kame’s surprise and dismay. “I didn’t think you had packed something like that with you to Korea anyway.”
Well, that was true. Seeing as they were on the run from the Japanese police a swimsuit was the last thing Kame had thought of packing with him.
Defeated and still unable to say what he was holding in, Kame doubtfully followed Jin into the building and they were shown their room. It wasn’t as shabby as Kame had expected, but still far from any five star hotel room. For some reason it reminded Kame of the so-called Love Rooms back in prison.
He wanted to leave immediately.
“Jin.” he said, making an attempt to speak without looking at the other boy, but as he felt the boy’s gaze on him he was robbed of the courage to continue. “What…are we doing here?” he ended up asking instead and when he sent the leader an anxious glance he could see Jin smile back.
“We’re on a date, of course.” the gang leader replied, dropping his bag to the floor and removing his jacket. “Let’s start out with something relaxing. There are bubble baths!”
The thought of taking a bath was always welcoming to Kame, but having one with Jin hardly equalled to relaxing.
“Here’s your swimsuit and a bathrobe.” Jin said, handing them to Kame, who doubtfully accepted the items. He didn’t like having to change clothes with Jin in the same room and what was he going to do about his necklace?
Kame turned his back at Jin, hand sneaking up to the chain around his neck.
“I’ll just…use the bathroom first.” he excused himself, taking his swimsuit and bathrobe with him, locking himself in there and breathing out in relief.
Removing his shirt, he gazed at the ring resting against his chest. Jin had worn his ring today too. He hadn’t seen Jin not wear it for as long as he could remember. Jin had only taken it off in prison once.
He changed into his swimsuit and bathrobe quickly before unlocking the door and sneaking out to see Jin having changed too. The older boy shot him a somewhat amused smile as their eyes met and Kame knew Jin thought he was being silly. It wasn’t as if Jin hadn’t seen him naked plenty of times before.
“Let’s go then?” Jin asked and Kame nodded, putting his clothes away and slipping his ring and necklace in under them, hiding them there.
Kame stuck close to Jin as they walked down the corridors, searching for the right place. At first they only came across more hotel rooms, but after having walked a little further, past some suspicious small rooms filled with suspicious distant sounds, they finally found what they were looking for and Kame breathed out in relief as they entered the shower room that was thankfully empty.
“We need to wash up first.” Jin said and Kame felt rather flushed, seeing Jin take off the robe and walk over towards a shower only in his swimsuit. Kame doubted, fist tightening on his own robe.
“A-actually…I forgot the shampoo in our room.” he said and Jin turned to give him a curious look. “I’ll be right back, wait for me by the pool!”
He dashed out of there before Jin could figure out he had never taken shampoo with him. Maybe there was some in their room.
He didn’t even care about the creepy rooms right now as he raced down the corridors in a speed that would’ve made it practically impossible for anyone to catch him and rail him in somewhere. He had made it all the way to the door of their room when realizing Jin had the key. Since he wasn’t exactly good at picking locks, Kame slowly turned on his heels and dragged his feet back to the shower room, grateful that Jin had already showered when he returned. The room was empty so Jin was probably by the pool by now. Relieved, Kame hung the towel and the robe aside, picking a shower.
He enjoyed a quick shower, but then as he tried to turn the water off it wouldn’t turn off.
Kame frowned. Was this thing broken somehow? No matter what he did the water wouldn’t stop raining over him. He stepped away from it, but the water still kept coming. Kame was contemplating on just leaving it like that when suddenly all of the other showers turned on as well.
What the?! Was this a joke? Was it some technical error?
Kame hurried to grab his towel and robe and positioned himself at a shower-free spot in order not to get his stuff wet, when suddenly something long poked his butt. He knew all too well what that was.
Spinning around, Kame found himself face to face with Rain.
“Hey, Akanishi’s boy.”
Well, at least it wasn’t boy toy anymore.
Kame wrapped the towel around him tighter, fighting to get the robe on too, much to the other man’s amusement.
“Interesting to find you here.” Rain continued, swinging his cane around in the air a few times and to his annoyance Kame found how his robe came undone after that again. He was sure this man had done it on purpose!
Why did the Korean man even bring a cane to a bathhouse? Actually Kame didn’t want to know the answer to that one.
Positioning the end of the cane on the floor, Rain leaned onto it, fixing his eyes on Kame’s. “Want to take a bath with me?”
“Take a cold one by yourself.” a man suddenly said exactly what Kame had wanted to reply and Kame’s jaw dropped to the floor as he saw Se7en walk in. Had he been thinking about anything else besides for the fact that he was surrounded by two men wearing what seemed like only towels around their hips, Kame might have noticed the showers turning off by the arrival of the other Korean man.
Se7en’s eyes wandered from Rain’s and met Kame’s bewildered look.
“Don’t accuse me of following your around this time. This is the last place I thought I’d find you hanging around at.” the man said and as Kame didn’t protest to that Se7en’s gaze locked on Rain’s again. “You could have an accident with that thing in here.”
“I can handle water.” Rain retorted back something in Korean that Kame didn’t understand.
“Maybe, but you can’t stop your urges to use that thing.” Se7en continued in Korean and Kame wondered if the two men were leaving him out of this conversation on purpose.
“But you are quite good at it by now.” Rain said, eyes escaping down to Se7en’s towel for a moment. “Why are you acting like such a good boy? I know you’re as bad as me.”
“Not quite, but close.” Se7en replied and Rain moved in a little closer.
Kame still didn’t get a word they were saying, but it seemed like the two weren’t too fond of each other and were caught up in something of their own. He remained still in his position beside the two, hoping his existence would go unnoticed and he could slip out of there at a suitable moment.
“Oh come on, isn’t it about time you gave into what you’ve so far only allowed yourself to look at?” Rain taunted, shooting Kame a glance. “You know you want to, so don’t give me that nice guy routine. He’s too cute to resist.”
Se7en ripped his gaze off of the still confused looking Kame to eye the other player instead. “He’s got a boyfriend.”
“One he can’t be close to.” Rain pointed out.
“He loves him.”
“It’s never been a problem before.” Rain shrugged and Se7en was kind of keen to know what Rain’s record looked like. He had to admit he wanted to compare their histories as players and see who would impress the other.
Rain was right about him and Se7en wouldn’t say it out loud, but he felt sort of sorry for Kame, who seemed everything but stable and was watching them without a clue of what they were talking about.
“I know we don’t usually go for anyone involved, but let’s make an exception.” Rain tempted, laying an arm over the other player’s naked shoulder. “Just this once. His boyfriend is a player. Think of the challenge. This prey is with another, possessive player, who’d surely put all of his effort into stopping us because Akanishi has yet to reach the same goal as we do with his cute boyfriend, who is incapable of having sex. This boy would be the greatest victory ever.”
Se7en’s eyes darted towards Kame, who was looking back and forth between them both, probably having heard familiar names being thrown around in their discussion, but unable to figure out what they were talking about. Se7en kind of felt he was doing something behind Kame-chan’s back, speaking in a code the Japanese boy couldn’t decode.
“And also the greatest defeat.” Rain added, catching Se7en’s attention again. “Should you fail and either I or Akanishi would win. We’re three players here, so the risk for that is bigger this time therefore I understand completely if you don’t want to risk having your name and reputation stained with a defeat. You’ve never lost before, have you?”
No, Se7en hadn’t and he had competed over preys with other players before. He had just never competed with Rain before. Because of Rain’s reputation he had to admit he had always wanted to.
“Neither have I.” Rain added. “So what do you say?”
Se7en rarely hesitated, but he did now, shooting Kame one more look before meeting Rain’s challenging gaze again. “He’ll defeat the one who wins him. He did it to Akanishi already. You know what a player Akanishi was. If we go through with this game everyone will lose including the guy, who sleeps with him.”
Kame was getting really frustrated, as he kept shooting both men looks, but neither would let him in on their conversation. They had said both his and Jin’s name a couple of times already, and even though they were Korean they still used the cute ‘-chan’ ending with his name which Kame found highly unflattering to hear thrown into even a foreign language. What were they talking about? Kame hoped Se7en was on his side, should there be trouble. He should go before Jin would come looking for him and find him with two half naked men.
“Are you afraid you’ll fall in love with him?” Rain chuckled. “Just because he was Akanishi’s type doesn’t mean he’ll be ours. You know that. Besides Akanishi was stuck with this boy in prison.”
“That makes no difference.” Se7en retorted. “Akanishi always changed boy toys before. Akanishi got stuck with him because he wanted Kame-chan too much. There was something in Kame-chan that challenged the player side in him and something that twirled him around Kame-chan’s finger in the process.”
“Well, as I said, if you think this is out of your league…” Rain said, teasingly and Se7en’s jaw tightened.
“You’re on.”
“Do you need a handicap?”
“No more than you do.” Se7en replied. “I take it the normal rules follow. May the best player win.”
“Happy hunting.” Rain smiled tauntingly.
That didn’t look too good for some reason, Kame concluded, as he studied how the two had finished their discussion and turned towards him. “Uh, so are we all right?”
The men exchanged glances before looking at him again.
“We’re fine, Kame-chan.” Se7en replied, turning back to Rain then. “Shower now?”
Rain smiled, pointing with his cane towards the showers. “After you.”
Kame hurried out as the Korean boys removed their towels and chose a shower each.
Jin gave him a surprised look as he practically flew out of the shower room and hurried over to the pool Jin was in.
“Ready?” the leader asked in that same amused tone and Kame nodded furiously. He wasn’t returning in there for a while. “Come in, it’s nice.”
Kame hesitated, as he put his towel away and opened on his robe a bit. He didn’t like the thought of going into a pool with Jin, he felt naked.
A smile painted Jin’s face as the older boy watched him stand there and Jin leaned back with a small sigh, shutting his eyes and Kame took the opportunity to discard his robe and slip in under the bubbles fast.
“Ah~ This feels good!” Jin let out.
Kame refused to think about how many times Jin had sounded like that in other situations that also didn’t require much clothing. That set his gaze wandering to places it shouldn’t and he had to rip his eyes off the naked chest that was from time to time visible to him from under the bubbles.
“This really relieves any stress that has built up inside the body.” Jin continued, cracking an eye open to watch him as if looking for a response.
“I-it’s nice!” Kame hurried to agree.
Why was there no one else here? Were all the others in those small rooms? Se7en and Rain weren’t coming here either…Kame had a feeling they had found themselves in some respective rooms as well. He shut that thought out.
It was early and people in these blocks generally went to the shabbier bathhouses for sex and that’s probably what the visitors of this one too were doing in some private rooms, Kame answered the question for himself.
Suddenly his attention was brought back to Jin, as he saw the older boy move, and he tried not to eye the older boy so warily when Jin made his way over to him. Kame wanted to flee and throw the robe back on, but he settled for pulling up his knees in front of him, sinking slightly lower in the process.
“Does it fit?” Jin asked, stopping next to him and sending a look down his body that was pretty concealed by the massive amount of bubbles. “The swimsuit.”
“Perfectly.” Kame replied. A little too perfectly. He had lost weight over the past few months, how did Jin still know his size so well?
“Great.” the older boy smiled, leaning back again and closing his eyes.
Kame jumped a bit as suddenly a hand came in contact with his thigh.
“Oops, I was aiming for your hand.” Jin mumbled, not opening his eyes and the hand managed to find his arm, roaming down it to his hand.
Kame made an attempt to relax, leaning back too and closing his eyes. Actually this was quite nice. He had always liked taking baths and this bubble one massaged his tired body so comfortably while Jin’s fingers massaged his. Kame smiled, answering to the touch and for the longest time they just sat there listening to the noise the pool made. Kame thought he could almost fall asleep where he sat…
His peacefulness was abruptly interrupted by the touch of wet lips against his own and he startled so much he almost fell under the surface.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” Jin laughed, pulling him up and guiding him to sit in between Jin’s legs with his back against Jin’s chest. “You just looked so irresistible like that.”
Kame tried not to show how his body was everything but relaxed anymore as he felt Jin’s naked skin against his, the only thing separating them was the bubbles and the swimsuits. Jin’s hands were on his shoulders, massaging them, but he couldn’t enjoy the treatment.
You can’t keep on doing these things to me, he wanted to say. He wanted to remind Jin that he hadn’t claimed he was any saner now, but at the same time he had given Jin hope and that’s why Jin was moving in closer. He had seen this coming, why hadn’t he done anything about it sooner?
“S-so, what else is there to do here?” he asked. He really wanted out of the bath, but saying he was cold could only give Jin ideas how to warm him up. What if Jin had really taken him here with the same purposes in mind everyone else visiting these bathhouses seemed to have?
“I think they have a bigger pool here somewhere and a sauna.” Jin spoke into his ear.
“R-really?” Kame asked. “That’s great. Should we look around a bit?”
Jin stopped massaging as he had said that and instead hugged his shoulders, the weight of Jin’s arms pressed him back into the boy behind him.
“Let’s just sit for a while longer.” Jin said and Kame saw no way out of the pool, so he obeyed.
He was half uncomfortable and tried to come up with something to say, but as nothing smart came to mind he focused on relaxing instead. Could he get used to this? If it was possible then he wouldn’t have to break up with Jin.
The thought alone made him feel sad and without really thinking he hugged the arms around him, once more so unaware of what his actions did to Jin. Had he been able to turn around he might’ve seen the sincere smile that covered Jin’s lips as they sat there for as long as Jin wanted to.
Kame let Jin slip out from the bubble-filled pool first and followed behind, slipping in under his towel. He hoped this was the end of their swimming, but fate was never on his side as Jin grabbed his wrist, dragging him along towards bigger pools with a cheery, “Let’s go swim over there!”
The water didn’t bubble, so it was impossible to hide in it and Kame was tempted to stay on dry ground, but with the way Jin was tugging him that kind idea wouldn’t do. Kame deserted the towel and the robe quickly as he was already to his knees in the water.
“Doesn’t this kind of remind you of that beach in Korea?” Jin asked, finally releasing his wrist and turning towards him.
Kame crossed his arms in front of his chest, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. Why had Jin brought that up?
“N-not at all.” he answered. He wasn’t about to give Jin any green lights for another sex on the ‘beach’. Jin seemed quite disappointed with his answer, so Kame decided to explain, “Both the air and the water are warm here. It’s indoors and…well, we are still being chased.”
A smile formed on Jin’s lips and Kame barely had time to wonder what thoughts were going through the leader’s mind when suddenly he received a good splash from the other one.
He coughed, wiping his face, and sent Jin a dumbfounded look. “Why did you do tha-”
Another splash cut him off. Then there was another and Kame took a few steps to the side, but noticed how that only made Jin follow after him, so he set to run, getting out of Jin’s range and when Jin caught up enough with him he returned the favor.
“I’m going to get your for this!” Jin said between coughing up water.
“You started it!” Kame insisted, starting to swim into deeper areas where his feet didn’t even reach the bottom anymore, all awhile kicking water at Jin, trying to follow him.
Then suddenly Jin had disappeared. Kame stopped swimming, looking around. Jin hadn’t…drowned, had he?
His eyebrows furrowed worriedly together and he was just about to call out Jin’s name when something or rather someone grabbed his ankle and pulled him under the surface, where his foot was released and instead he was captured by his wrist and pulled into the shape he could make out as Jin’s. He could even see Jin’s teasing smirk before the boy sealed lips on his, letting him go then to return to the surface.
As Kame peeked his head up from the under the surface as well, he was met by Jin’s laughter.
“You should’ve seen your face when I-” Jin was saying while bending in closer to Kame in an attempt to reach his lips again, but Kame never let that happen and neither did Jin get to finish his sentence as Kame spit out water at the approaching boy. Jin closed his eyes, water dripping down his nose and chin, looking not so pleased over having fallen for that. “Now you’ve done it!”
Kame pushed apart, kicking water at the chasing Jin again, but this time not stopping to see if Jin was still behind him. Instead he continued as fast as he could to another pool, where the water streamed through channels.
“I’m going to get you for this!” Jin threatened, half-heartedly, behind him and Kame hurried to slip into the water, feeling how the stream took him through the channels, which curved and sent him downhill from time to time. Kame had no idea where he was going to end up or what was waiting behind the next corner, but what was sure was that it couldn’t be worse than what was following him.
There was one last downhill in a rather fast speed until he was sent into a pool that didn’t stream at all and it was the end of the ride.
Kame gasped, reaching the surface again and reaching for his swimsuit that he had almost lost during the ride. Wouldn’t that just have been embarrassing and given Jin ideas? Kame cursed having lost so much weight, but he was grateful that this time he had been lucky and that the swimsuit wasn’t somewhere at the bottom of the pool.
“Oh shit.” Jin suddenly cursed, having been thrown into the water beside him, and Kame wondered if that had happened to Jin instead.
He was kind of scared to ask, “What is it?”
Jin didn’t meet his eyes, being too busy looking around.
“My ring, I lost it. I should’ve left it at our room, but I never take it off so I didn’t even think of doing it now either.” the leader offered a quick explanation before diving and staying under for quite long, searching the bottom of the pool.
Kame shot a look around. The ring was so small, it could be anywhere. What if Jin had lost it already in the streaming pool? Or during the water fight? Or maybe while having a bubble bath? Either way, they could start by searching here.
Taking a deep breath Kame also dived in under the surface and searched the bottom with his hands. But no matter how times they dived, the ring just wouldn’t be found. Nevertheless Jin wasn’t giving up and it kind of surprised Kame to see how persistent Jin was. Jin’s eyes had to be really red after all that diving, but Jin just kept going even though time passed and it was starting to seem really hopeless.
“It’s got to be here somewhere…” Jin muttered, mostly for himself, taking a deep breath before diving again.
Maybe this was a sign, Kame thought miserably. He was trying to break up with Jin and now Jin lost the ring. Then Jin probably wouldn’t find it. Kame realized how bad it felt to think that ring would be lost in some pool and Jin would never wear it again…
“Here it is!” Jin exclaimed, suddenly shooting up from under the water, holding between two fingers the silver jewellery. Kame could only stare, even if his eyes were hurting a bit by now too.
The leader examined the jewellery with a pleased expression before slipping it onto his finger again.
“I don’t think I’m going swimming again. Let’s hit the sauna.” Jin suggested then and Kame was rooted to the floor. “I could really use that right now and you’re probably cold too…”
Kame nodded. He was too cold and too tired to think about if it was a wise idea and just followed Jin to the sauna.
However as they sat down next to each other in the hot room, Kame was slowly starting to gain his energy and senses back and was also getting more and more aware of the sweat running down Jin’s body, the deep breaths coming from Jin’s parted lips…
Kame turned his head away, not understanding why he was so tempted to look. But by not allowing himself to gaze at Jin, his mind was instead invaded by memories of Jin’s body covered with sweat, Jin’s breath out of control in his ear whenever they…
Kame shook his head, burying his face against his knees drawn up before him. Why was it so difficult to breathe in here? And how hot was it in a sauna really? Sweat just poured down him and unexpectedly perverted images were clouding his mind.
He had to get out of here!
“Uh, Jin?” he said, making the mistake of looking at the other boy and he focused on Jin’s eyes, as the older boy opened them to meet his.
“Mm?” Jin murmured in a soft, satisfied tone.
“You look hot, so-” Kame started, turning bright red then. “I-I mean, should we go back to the room now and cool off?”
Jin shut his eyes, stretching his muscles and Kame found himself trailing with his gaze the drops travelling down Jin’s chest as the leader did that.
“I guess we should…” the older boy agreed and this time Kame led them out, being first by a shower too. He was relieved that the showers were obedient this time around and with as few glances in Jin’s direction as possible he washed the sweat off, drying off then and putting on his robe.
For some reason the nervousness he had been feeling had unexpectedly disappeared for a while there, but as they started walking back towards their room it was gradually coming back to him.
“Oh, and remember, if anyone comes up to you and asks you if you want a treatment of some kind, refuse immediately.” Jin warned and Kame shot him an inquiring look and Jin added, “Treatment in these blocks means full treatment.”
“Full treatment?” Kame repeated and Jin just returned his gaze quietly at first.
“Trust me, you don’t want that.” Jin said then, opening the door to their room. “I’ll give you a treatment instead if you want one.”
Kame wasn’t sure he wanted that either. He turned back to Jin, as the leader shut the door and locked it. “So…what now?”
He slightly regretted asking that as Jin took a step towards him.
“We could stay here for a while and eat, then…” Jin said, but didn’t finish that line, which made Kame a little uncomfortable. “Then we’ll see what we feel like doing.” the leader added. “I took you here because…I just thought you liked taking baths, so this could help you relax after our last date. You’ve been sort of avoiding me ever since…”
“N-no, I haven’t.” Kame hurried to answer. Yes he had. He had wanted some space to get things sorted out for himself, but he hadn’t sorted out anything. He was still as confused and he had finally ended up with two possibly ways of dealing with his situation. Either he’d just do it with Jin or then end their relationship. He wouldn’t start making Jin feel lonely by being distant again. “I’ve been…meaning to talk to you about something.”
“About what?” Jin asked and Kame hesitated. The words got stuck in his throat again.
“Ah, it’s nothing.” he ended up saying instead after just standing there quiet for the longest time. He was frustrated with himself. Why was it so hard to say? He had said worse things to Jin and he had spoken out as Jin’s boy toy about things that were bigger than him, why couldn’t he find the courage now? Slightly depressed he added instead, “I’m hungry.”
“I’ll call and tell them to get us something.” Jin said and Kame momentarily wondered if this place usually served room service. It did now that Jin was the one to call and the ordered food arrived quite fast too along with a bottle of champagne.
At first Kame doubted drinking alcohol and going bathing was a good idea, but he came to find that alcohol had a somewhat calming effect on him. Even though he didn’t drink a lot, some pressure inside him seemed to fade by every glass.
Still he wasn’t calm enough as they finished their meals. It was a bad idea to go swimming just after eating and Jin had said he didn’t want to do that anymore, so what were they going to do now?
Jin lied down on his back on the bed, letting out a satisfied sigh and resting his tummy. “That was unexpectedly delicious.”
Kame downed the remains of his glass, tempted to call and ask for another bottle as Jin lifted a hand to run a touch down the sleeve of his robe, hand landing on his then and he let it be there although he had rather pulled apart.
Just the thought of sex seemed to make his heart beat so fast it felt like it would break his chest. There was this tight feeling in his chest and he shivered.
He wasn’t over what had happened. He wasn’t even near over it. He thought he had gotten somewhere, but these same emotions still returned to him no matter what he did. He had tried to open up and done what the gangsters had suggested him to do. Why wasn’t anything working? Why was he still such a wreck?
Maybe it was impossible to return to how he had used to be. Maybe he’d always feel resentment when Jin was close or wanted close. He had probably opened a door in his mind that couldn’t be closed again.
This had gone on for too long. Their relationship had developed too far for him to handle it. He needed to break it off now before things got any more out of his hands.
He slipped his hand out from under Jin’s and turned hesitantly towards the boy, being greeted by a smile as he did so and it made Kame feel really bad inside once more. Jin had no idea what he was trying to accomplish, but in the end it was not only for his but also Jin’s best that he got this over and done with.
“Jin, I…” he choked out.
“Hm?” the older boy murmured. Somehow the older boy’s eyes looked warm. “What is it?”
And Kame couldn’t get a word out this time either. Jin looked at him funnily and Kame guessed he was probably amusing the older boy again. Why couldn’t he do it? Why did he always hesitate?
Just tell him. Just do it. This will never work. You’ll never be able to give him what he needs. You should never have agreed to date in the first place. Break it off before it gets any more complicated! Or before he tries to jump you and you cause a scene…
Kame swallowed, meeting Jin’s eyes again. “There’s something… I need to talk to you about something…”
“What?” Jin asked, slowly sitting up and those eyes were suddenly closer to him than a while ago. As Jin still looked so cheerful, he couldn’t say it.
How had he gotten himself into this mess, he wondered for the umpteenth time. What would have happened if he had had this revelation earlier and he hadn’t kept on bugging the older boy? Would Jin still be a player then? Would Jin have found someone else and become that person’s boyfriend? Would he still be in Todai studying law? Would he have eventually taken Masa’s side against Jin for revenge or heartache?
“Did I…ruin your life?”
For some reason that question had rolled over his lips instead of the words he had tried to make himself say. Jin gave him a surprised look, not really following.
He had known since the start that his presence around Jin always caused Jin trouble and he was starting to get tired of that role.
“Are you happy with your life right now? What do you think you would be doing right now if…” Kame started, hesitating and deciding it was probably not something he should be asking. How could Jin say for sure anyway? But he yearned to know what Jin had been planning on doing in a life without him…
“If what?” Jin asked and Kame tried to stay silent, but Jin wouldn’t give up and continued to send him a curious look until he gave in and completed his question.
“If I had just continued to go to school and you would’ve continued to live like you do now.” Kame added and he watched realization reflect upon Jin’s face as of why he had hesitated to ask and the older boy broke their eye-contact for a while. “What would your life be like then? Would you have continued to…?”
He couldn’t finish the question, but Jin knew the rest.
“No.” the older boy answered. “Once a player falls in love, it’s all over for him. There’s no going back. I knew it all along, even if I tried to fight against it, but it got harder and harder to stay away from you. In the end I would’ve used any excuse to see you.”
He would’ve used any excuse to see Jin too. In the end he had been ready to just have one-night stand with Jin if that was all he could get. He had missed and loved Jin that much. He wished he could do that again. He was wasting precious time he had with Jin, not enjoying to the fullest the moments they shared. He hated himself for that.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jin said and that startled Kame out of his thoughts. “No matter what you face, eventually you always manage to overcome it. You’re so much more than what meets the eye. You don’t even know what you’ve got.”
“W-what?” he asked, not believing what he had just heard. Jin had said the same thing before. The last time he hadn’t gotten an answer, because Jin had been his master, but this time he might be in a position to ask. “What do you mean by that? What have I got?”
“What?” Jin chuckled at the unexpected reaction and the seriousness in Kame’s tone.
“Why did you put up with me? Why do you do it now?” Kame asked and Jin was taken aback a bit by the way Kame kept shoving questions at him. “I had nothing more than anyone before me! I broke your rules and I didn’t understand how things worked in prison! Why did you let me stay for longer than anyone else? Why do you still want to be with me? What is it that I’ve got?”
For years he had been dying to hear the answer to that question. He was desperate to know and he hoped that this time Jin would answer.
“Because you were…different.” Jin replied then and Kame frowned. That was it? He had just been so unlike the gangsters and the average prisoners? Was that what he had had that had attracted Jin’s attention? “I can’t answer your question…or any of them. I never could.”
Kame was disappointed although he knew he shouldn’t be. Of course Jin wouldn’t answer him.
Seeing how he probably looked as depressed as he felt, Jin hurried to continue, “I can’t explain why. I don’t know why. I can list a dozen things that make me like you, but it will still not be enough. You were challenging, unpredictable at times and you had the guts to defy me when you thought you needed to, those are all things that I appreciated as a player, but it was also more than that. You make life interesting in a way games never could. You’re loyal to what you believe in and to the people whose side you take, you even naively believe in others, you’re damn cute in bed and I could go on, but it’s still not enough.”
Kame refused a blush at that point. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked after all.
“That night, when you asked me those things, I told you not to because I couldn’t admit to you what you were doing to me.” Jin said. “I thought I’d lose face and that you’d see me as something else than a master. I needed that role and I clung to it in order not to let you in, but you did crawl in somehow and you changed me. I fought long and hard against what you were doing to me, but I lost in the end and I’m damn glad I did. So yes, I’m happy with my life right now.”
“You are?” Kame asked and Jin smiled.
“I’m glad to be here with you today.” Jin replied. “Thank you for trying so hard with me.”
Kame felt a sting in his heart as he heard Jin say that, as he had been contemplating on leaving Jin. “Jin, I…” He didn’t want to break up, but that was a selfish thought. He braced himself. “I want to date you seriously.”
Kame couldn’t believe what he had just said and in terror he watched Jin smile the widest today.
“I was hoping for you to come to want that too.” the leader said. “I know you’ve needed to see if you were up for this, so I’ve known we haven’t really gone steady, but I’m glad you want to deepen our relationship. I don’t want to be on trial with you.”
And just like that he had committed himself one step further into this relationship. Why was he giving in to his feelings, when his body couldn’t keep up?
Kame just sat there dumbfounded, watching Jin get up from the bed.
“It’s getting late. Should we be heading back already?” Jin asked then. The bathhouses would get more crowded soon and he didn’t want Kame to see the stuff that went on in them when that happened.
Kame slowly managed a few nods, silently cursing himself as they got dressed, Kame in the bathroom again.
Jin seemed to be in an even better mood after the promise he had just made. That was just terrific. Why hadn’t he just promised Jin the world while he was at it?
Kame felt like kicking himself as they left the bathhouse, but he couldn’t deny he was kind of happy he hadn’t broken up with Jin. Was he selfish to want this relationship?
“Can I come in for a while?” Jin asked by the door to their apartment and Kame was a little taken aback by the request, giving the suggestion a quick thought before letting Jin in. “I have something to give you.” the leader added as they seated themselves in the living room and Kame was handed a small package that was gift wrapped. “Here, this is for you.”
“What is this for?” Kame asked, studying the present and Jin laughed.
“What are you talking about? It’s your birthday today, remember?” Jin replied and it was first then Kame understood why Jin had wanted him to take this day off so badly. He had been so confused with time and kept his mind occupied with other things that he had forgotten all about it. “I wanted you to have a good time today so I took you to the bathhouse, but don’t think I didn’t have a gift waiting for you.”
“You shouldn’t have.” Kame said.
“I’m your boyfriend.” Jin replied. “Let me spoil you from time to time.”
“I’m not your girlfriend.” Kame pointed out.
“I can still spoil you so let me do things for you.” Jin insisted. “Open it.”
Kame did and he couldn’t believe what was under the wrapping. Jin had gotten him lube for this birthday too?
“It’s massage oil.” Jin said in order to avoid any misinterpretations. “…This was a really bad idea for a present, wasn’t it?” Jin said then as Kame hadn’t said anything yet. “I just thought you might need it since working in the diner must be tough…”
“N-no! It wasn’t!” Kame hurried to reply. “Thank you.”
Jin’s eyes fell on the present and then on Kame’s eyes again. “Then shall we use it?”
Kame didn’t know how to refuse, so he nodded unsurely a few times.
“Sit down and take your socks off.” Jin said and Kame did, rolling up his jeans as far as they went which was somewhere under his knee.
Jin pulled one of his feet closer, having him slip down on the couch a bit and with oil started massaging. He laughed, trying to pull his leg back, but mostly Jin’s treatment was pleasurable. Jin was good with his hands Kame came to admit one more time.
“Mm…that feels good.” he murmured satisfied. It was pleasant even when it tickled, but his laughter soon died out and his smile faded as Jin had begun to massage higher, fingers escaping in under some clothing he wore and Kame started wondering what all places Jin was planning on massaging.
“Take your shirt off, I’ll do your back and arms too.” Jin suggested, but Kame hesitated, laying a hand over the collar of his shirt. If he took it off his ring would be exposed. He wasn’t even sure why he was hiding it, but he did. He didn’t want Jin to touch his upper body either. Jin’s touches never lacked impact and he was feeling slightly jumpy today.
As he wasn’t doing anything Jin seated himself closer, unleashing his hand from the hold it had on his shirt and took it into Jin’s oiled hands instead.
“I’ll give you a finger massage too.” Jin added then, rubbing over his fingers and stopping at one in particular a bit too long. “Why don’t you ever wear your ring anymore?”
Kame was a bit shocked at the question.
“Maybe I’m insensitive asking you that, but…you haven’t had it on for so long.” Jin continued, not letting go off his naked pinky. “It makes me a bit uneasy sometimes. To me those rings weren’t just something I made you wear in prison…”
Kame stammered for words, retrieving his hand from Jin’s as he slipped up from the couch as well.
“I just…I don’t want to get scratches on it.” he babbled out nervously. “It’s so important to me. I’ve kept it safe…”
He disappeared into the bedroom, making sure Jin wasn’t following him before pulling out the necklace from under his shirt. There the ring dangled safely. He hurried to release it from the necklace and randomly opened and closed a drawer, before returning to the living room, as if he had just fetched the ring from somewhere.
“Besides it could get…stolen.” he added, opening his fist to reveal to Jin the golden jewellery. “It became my most valuable possession already in prison. It holds so many memories and…it was my birthday when you gave me this ring.”
“It was?” Jin asked and Kame nodded, playing awkwardly with the object in his hands.
“My first birthday in prison.” Kame added, gaze falling to the floor. “That same night I asked you what I was to you.”
“Ah, well…I always get so confused with time in prison.” Jin said. “I had actually meant to give you that ring for a while before I finally did.”
Kame looked up at him in surprise. Really? Jin had held onto it before giving it to him? Had it been hidden under Jin’s mattress along with so many other things there?
“But I could never figure out when or how. I had to make sure you wouldn’t figure out how much I wanted you to wear that ring and by telling you that it would be a sign that I owned you was the only way for me to not come off as someone who was falling for you, so I kept thinking of ways and the right moment.” Jin confessed. “In bed? Before going to bed? In the afterglow before you’d fall asleep? After you’d wake up? I couldn’t decide and then it just happened.”
Kame looked at his ring again.
“Why did I…get the golden one?” he asked. Wasn’t the golden ring more valuable than the silver one? Shouldn’t Jin have worn it instead of him?
“Well, I kind of prefer wearing silver jewelleries.” Jin said. “They look good with my clothes…even the prison ones.” Jin shot him a somewhat unsure look. “Would you have preferred it the other way around?”
Kame smiled, slipping the jewellery onto his finger. “No. I like it this way.”
He couldn’t think of it any other way. He was too used to having this ring.
“Oh, good.” Jin smiled a bit relieved. “You know when I first asked Glay to make me a pair of pinky rings they suggested to do me a cock ring instead and asked for your size.”
Kame looked at him shocked.
“I didn’t tell them anything!” Jin hurried to say. “Though they bribed me with even putting my name on it…”
“Why…did you choose pinky rings?” Kame asked, letting the previous subject be forgotten.
Jin stretched his right hand to Kame’s left, fingers slipping into Kame’s. “Because they’re a bond, you see? Tie a red string from one pinky to another… That’s the whole meaning.”
A genuine smile slowly spread over his lips as Kame watched their hands and without breaking that bond, he slipped back down onto the couch, laying lips on the other boy’s before laying his head onto the broad shoulder, hugging Jin tightly with his free hand.
He had done it again. Where did these spontaneous needs of affection come from? He had held them back before as Jin’s boy toy, growing used to Jin always leading the show. Were these emotions resurfacing now too along with the bad memories he had held back? Absently he felt Jin’s free hand hug him back and he forgot about everything for a while, closing his eyes.
I think I do love you.
part 2