the easier it gets to leave
This will be short...I just got back from Pittsburgh with Kufel...we had a good time but I'll write about that later...the point of this was to just vent about this feeling I get when I come back here...I've been on several road trips the past few weeks, and the more I leave, the easier it gets to leave again, and the harder it is to come back.
Coming home today, I just got this complete feeling of disgust for where I live...things that used to seem "quaint" or "cute" just made me nauseated...
People driving with their heads up their asses like it's no big deal...how dirty the sides of the streets are, the number of abandoned homes and buildings, how small downtown actually is...everything here is so predictable, I leave and come back and nothing seems to have changed, like things here are stuck to some kind of wheel that turns but always comes back to where it once was, never any growth....
The safety and comfort of home has just turned into monotony and anxiety...
Go ahead and lecture me on my ungreatful attitude and outlook...and true, this may only be how I see it, and this place may be a lovely and adventuresome place to others...but it just is not for me, I cannot be satisfied with staying around here, not now...and who am I to predict the future...but something tells me not later either...
This is nothing personal towards anyone, and don't get me wrong I am extremely thankful for the friends and family I have...and I do know that if I had not lived here all my life, I would be a completely different person and would not appreciate the same things, but this is a personal banter on what is bugging me...so do the same, and bugger off.
Coming home today, I just got this complete feeling of disgust for where I live...things that used to seem "quaint" or "cute" just made me nauseated...
People driving with their heads up their asses like it's no big deal...how dirty the sides of the streets are, the number of abandoned homes and buildings, how small downtown actually is...everything here is so predictable, I leave and come back and nothing seems to have changed, like things here are stuck to some kind of wheel that turns but always comes back to where it once was, never any growth....
The safety and comfort of home has just turned into monotony and anxiety...
Go ahead and lecture me on my ungreatful attitude and outlook...and true, this may only be how I see it, and this place may be a lovely and adventuresome place to others...but it just is not for me, I cannot be satisfied with staying around here, not now...and who am I to predict the future...but something tells me not later either...
This is nothing personal towards anyone, and don't get me wrong I am extremely thankful for the friends and family I have...and I do know that if I had not lived here all my life, I would be a completely different person and would not appreciate the same things, but this is a personal banter on what is bugging me...so do the same, and bugger off.