Gadfly [licenseartistic]
Title: Gadfly [Too dark to see the light…]
Prompt: "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." --José Narosky [March Prompt]
Character: Lindsey McDonald [Harmony as well]
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word Count: 1807
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Joss owns, I’m just borrowing for my own fun
Authors Note: Lyrics, title and somewhat ‘tone’ comes from Caleb Kane’s ‘Gadfly’
I don’t wanna live, I don’t wanna die.
I don’t want to hear I never wanna hear I never cared enough to try.
Sometimes it’s just too fuckin’ hard to see the bright light right in front of your eyes.
This is my life. .
The cell was dark, it had been days - but really only hours - since Angel had him brought down here to the basement. Most likely to rot away ‘til he’s nothing but rotted flesh and broken bones. If he wanted Lindsey crazy, that was a train that had long since left.
Lindsey didn’t even put up a fight when they ripped Eve out of his arms, pulling him down to the place he’d call home until Angel saw fit. The hollowed out look on Eve’s face haunted him, but he couldn’t bear to feel any guilt about it.
His eyes darted around the dark room, shadows showing up in shadows and bringing that edge of paranoia into the back of Lindsey’s mind. The loud sound of the door opening bolted him off of the wooden cot from the corner of the cell. The harsh light from the hall burning into the room and making every grit covered surface visible.
That was the last thing on Lindsey’s mind at the moment. “Sorry I didn’t have time to bake a cake. Accommodations seem a bit lacking and I didn’t know I was going to get the pleasure of your presence,” Lindsey shot out sarcastically, blinking at the shadow cast on the walls and knowing that those curves didn’t belong to the royal pain in his ass. “Wha-”
The door closed and the metal sound echoed through the room, leaving Lindsey to wonder if he in fact lost his mind so quickly at the sight before him. He could see her standing there faintly in the light of the flashlight, unspeaking as her heels connected with the pavement as she walked. When her perfume connected with his nose he knew it couldn’t be his eyes playing tricks on him.
“Here,” Harmony finally spoke, shoving a bag at him through the bars. “Thought you’d wanna wear something other than blood covered clothes. It’ll keep the bugs and rats away a bit longer.” Her tone was casual and Lindsey couldn’t believe his eyes or ears for that matter. The loud pop of her gum startled him and he pulled the clothes out of the bag and wondered where she got them. “You don’t have to look at them like that.” She rolled her eyes. “If you’re not gonna say thank you then give them back, it’ll save me the time of hearing one pissed blonde vampire from ranting about where his clothes went.”
Spike.
“Thank you…Harmony.” He paused, pulling his shirt off and forgetting modesty for the moment. “Appreciate the clothes but I don’t suspect that you brought the key with you to get me outta here…” She shook her head and he shrugged. “Can’t blame a guy for wanting better arrangements…Not kicking a gift horse in the mouth or anything, but why are you here?”
“Horse? What…?” she parroted back to him, blinking and waving off the comment she obviously didn’t get. “Who else? Everyone’s busy and well if it was anyone else they’d be pointing a shotgun at you most likely and not a flashlight.”
Lindsey buttoned up his new pants and shrugged, moving back to the cot and trying not to let the fact that her words got to him show. “Then why did you come though…can’t say I know you that well…” or at all.
“Welcome to the club,” she mutters, sitting on the small bench on the other side of the bars, crossing her legs. “A girl can have her reasons.” She tilted her head to the side and Lindsey could swear he saw the one marble she had roll to the other side, trying to catch a thought. “Figured I could give someone peace of mind if I told them I came to see you.”
He didn’t know who that could be, it was obvious that nobody in this firm cared anything about him and the one person that would - Lilah - is damned to hellfire and even he wasn’t able to locate her, he tried.
They sat in silence and Harmony realized he wasn’t getting it, but decided to ignore that fact for the moment. “Where’s Gunn?” her inquiry was straight out of left field for him and he blinked. “He left with everyone, you came back and he didn’t. I want to know.”
Leaning back on the cot he picked his feet up, resting his arms on his knees. “Wrath.” He’ll forever deny that it was guilt that filled his voice. “He stayed behind.”
Harmony cocked her brow and looked at him curiously. “Angel wouldn’t do that…”
He had to bite his tongue to keep from giving a smart answer, but even though she was the last person he thought would see him he was thankful for the company. “I couldn’t tell you why but he did. Everything’s a bit fuzzy still but Gunn was insisting they leave him behind and I wasn’t one to argue.” A shudder ran over his spine when he remembered the pile of hearts - all his - that covered the floor of the basement. “He’ll be fine,” he lied; it was what he was best at.
She looked at him curiously, wondering if he’d ever stop trying to be a viper. “What is ‘Wrath’, sounds…” She shrugged.
“A holding cell of sorts the firm has. Just a glorified way of saying Hell dimension.” Simple, to the point and the truth. Refreshing.
“I guess there are a lot of them, huh.”
“Too many to count. I was here for years and never managed to memorize most of them.” He shrugged. “Gunn won’t remember most of it, he doesn’t have memories though - of this life.”
“I’m confused.”
“Ever play a record or something and it’s stuck on loop.” It took her a moment but she nodded. “It’s like that, the same day repeated over and over like auto pilot. You don’t have any memory of who you really are or of the morning before. You could have the same day twenty times and its always a new day to you.”
“Guess there are never any good days…” His silence was her answer. “How’d you end up here?”
“Angel.”
“No, I don’t mean today. I mean…here.”
“Angel.” Harmony cocked her brow and shook her head as Lindsey stayed silent, firm in his words. “Everything was fine until he decided to stick his neutered fangs into my town.”
“Okay…” She popped her gum and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Well he isn’t the cause for all of it. He didn’t force you to sign with Wolfram and Hart.” Lindsey narrowed his eyes at her, trying to study her and get what the hell she was trying to say. “You had out.”
He snorted at her words. “It’s not that simple blondie, you’re never really rid of this place, it seeps into your skin and stays there.”
“But you got out,” she spoke slower this time. “It’s obvious that you despise Angel so why come back here when he’s running the one place you’re hiding from. Not very smart.”
A growl escaped his throat and he was growing tired of her company quickly, it annoyed him even more that he couldn’t just up and walk away. He was stuck like a rat in a cage for everyone’s amusement. “It wa-”
“You obviously came back searching for something,” she cut him off, looking at him curiously. “Then again men never see what they have when it’s in front of their face.”
“Excuse me?” Lindsey set his feet down on the floor and rested his elbows on his knees, his hands hanging loose as he eyed her.
Harmony got quiet for a moment before speaking, her eyes bravely never leaving his. “You had what you were looking for Lindsey.” Again she made him wait out her words. “Out, you had it. You had more than that actually. People search for a long time for what you had.” She snorted and shook her head at him like he was a sad puppy. “You hated Angel too much to see what you had.”
“I think you need to change your brand of bleach…”
“Lindsey, you were out. All that fancy ink kept you hidden and safe and the one thing people hunt for, want and all that other stuff found you. It might have had ties back to Wolfram and Hart but you were hidden.”
Lindsey was sure that Harmony was proof that more than just your heartbeat dies when you get turned. “Did you bring aspirin?”
She blinked at him. “Why do people keep asking me that? I am not a pharmacy.” The sight of her sighing heavily nearly made Lindsey laugh.
“What did I have Harmony?” His tone was acidic as he narrowed his eyes further. “Enlighten me.” It was obvious that she’d been around Angel and his crew far too long.
“Freedom and love.”
“Wrong. On both counts. Who’s gonna love a broken southern boy running from the big bad monsters?”
“Apparently Eve did. Does.”
Lindsey was smacked silent with her words. “Eve.”
“Yeah.” It was obvious to even Harmony that she struck a nerve. “That’s a power you know, love I mean. It’s strong and it grabs a hold of you before you can blink.” Her eyes moved away from him as her voice got lower, obviously talking about more than just him. “People don’t realize what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you back, who loves something - or someone - more than them. Its worse than a stake.”
“She doesn’t know ho-”
“Don’t even try to pull that shit on me. People say vampires can’t but newsflash cowboy, they can. They do. She does.” Harmony got up and gripped onto the bars of his cell, anger in her eyes. “She gave up everything for you, you didn’t see that. She’s human and if you give up and continue to go after Angel then she’s going to die for nothing. Mortal and alone.”
They sat there in silence and Lindsey stood and made his way to the bars, looking down at her and couldn’t help but be quietly amused that Harmony might actually be smarter than anyone ever gave her credit for. Well, maybe more insightful if anything. “Hey,” he muttered, reaching down to pull off his fleur-de-lis bracelet. He held it out through the bars for Harmony to take. “Give it to Eve and…”
“I’ll tell her you miss her too.” He nodded, realizing that he in fact did. She was the one that Harmony had meant before would wonder about him.
“I didn’t realize…”
“I know.” With that she turned on her heel and walked back up the stairs and out of his prison, leaving him to realize the things he hadn’t before and wonder if he would have the chance to prove to her that she didn’t give up everything for nothing.
Prompt: "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." --José Narosky [March Prompt]
Character: Lindsey McDonald [Harmony as well]
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word Count: 1807
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Joss owns, I’m just borrowing for my own fun
Authors Note: Lyrics, title and somewhat ‘tone’ comes from Caleb Kane’s ‘Gadfly’
I don’t wanna live, I don’t wanna die.
I don’t want to hear I never wanna hear I never cared enough to try.
Sometimes it’s just too fuckin’ hard to see the bright light right in front of your eyes.
This is my life. .
The cell was dark, it had been days - but really only hours - since Angel had him brought down here to the basement. Most likely to rot away ‘til he’s nothing but rotted flesh and broken bones. If he wanted Lindsey crazy, that was a train that had long since left.
Lindsey didn’t even put up a fight when they ripped Eve out of his arms, pulling him down to the place he’d call home until Angel saw fit. The hollowed out look on Eve’s face haunted him, but he couldn’t bear to feel any guilt about it.
His eyes darted around the dark room, shadows showing up in shadows and bringing that edge of paranoia into the back of Lindsey’s mind. The loud sound of the door opening bolted him off of the wooden cot from the corner of the cell. The harsh light from the hall burning into the room and making every grit covered surface visible.
That was the last thing on Lindsey’s mind at the moment. “Sorry I didn’t have time to bake a cake. Accommodations seem a bit lacking and I didn’t know I was going to get the pleasure of your presence,” Lindsey shot out sarcastically, blinking at the shadow cast on the walls and knowing that those curves didn’t belong to the royal pain in his ass. “Wha-”
The door closed and the metal sound echoed through the room, leaving Lindsey to wonder if he in fact lost his mind so quickly at the sight before him. He could see her standing there faintly in the light of the flashlight, unspeaking as her heels connected with the pavement as she walked. When her perfume connected with his nose he knew it couldn’t be his eyes playing tricks on him.
“Here,” Harmony finally spoke, shoving a bag at him through the bars. “Thought you’d wanna wear something other than blood covered clothes. It’ll keep the bugs and rats away a bit longer.” Her tone was casual and Lindsey couldn’t believe his eyes or ears for that matter. The loud pop of her gum startled him and he pulled the clothes out of the bag and wondered where she got them. “You don’t have to look at them like that.” She rolled her eyes. “If you’re not gonna say thank you then give them back, it’ll save me the time of hearing one pissed blonde vampire from ranting about where his clothes went.”
Spike.
“Thank you…Harmony.” He paused, pulling his shirt off and forgetting modesty for the moment. “Appreciate the clothes but I don’t suspect that you brought the key with you to get me outta here…” She shook her head and he shrugged. “Can’t blame a guy for wanting better arrangements…Not kicking a gift horse in the mouth or anything, but why are you here?”
“Horse? What…?” she parroted back to him, blinking and waving off the comment she obviously didn’t get. “Who else? Everyone’s busy and well if it was anyone else they’d be pointing a shotgun at you most likely and not a flashlight.”
Lindsey buttoned up his new pants and shrugged, moving back to the cot and trying not to let the fact that her words got to him show. “Then why did you come though…can’t say I know you that well…” or at all.
“Welcome to the club,” she mutters, sitting on the small bench on the other side of the bars, crossing her legs. “A girl can have her reasons.” She tilted her head to the side and Lindsey could swear he saw the one marble she had roll to the other side, trying to catch a thought. “Figured I could give someone peace of mind if I told them I came to see you.”
He didn’t know who that could be, it was obvious that nobody in this firm cared anything about him and the one person that would - Lilah - is damned to hellfire and even he wasn’t able to locate her, he tried.
They sat in silence and Harmony realized he wasn’t getting it, but decided to ignore that fact for the moment. “Where’s Gunn?” her inquiry was straight out of left field for him and he blinked. “He left with everyone, you came back and he didn’t. I want to know.”
Leaning back on the cot he picked his feet up, resting his arms on his knees. “Wrath.” He’ll forever deny that it was guilt that filled his voice. “He stayed behind.”
Harmony cocked her brow and looked at him curiously. “Angel wouldn’t do that…”
He had to bite his tongue to keep from giving a smart answer, but even though she was the last person he thought would see him he was thankful for the company. “I couldn’t tell you why but he did. Everything’s a bit fuzzy still but Gunn was insisting they leave him behind and I wasn’t one to argue.” A shudder ran over his spine when he remembered the pile of hearts - all his - that covered the floor of the basement. “He’ll be fine,” he lied; it was what he was best at.
She looked at him curiously, wondering if he’d ever stop trying to be a viper. “What is ‘Wrath’, sounds…” She shrugged.
“A holding cell of sorts the firm has. Just a glorified way of saying Hell dimension.” Simple, to the point and the truth. Refreshing.
“I guess there are a lot of them, huh.”
“Too many to count. I was here for years and never managed to memorize most of them.” He shrugged. “Gunn won’t remember most of it, he doesn’t have memories though - of this life.”
“I’m confused.”
“Ever play a record or something and it’s stuck on loop.” It took her a moment but she nodded. “It’s like that, the same day repeated over and over like auto pilot. You don’t have any memory of who you really are or of the morning before. You could have the same day twenty times and its always a new day to you.”
“Guess there are never any good days…” His silence was her answer. “How’d you end up here?”
“Angel.”
“No, I don’t mean today. I mean…here.”
“Angel.” Harmony cocked her brow and shook her head as Lindsey stayed silent, firm in his words. “Everything was fine until he decided to stick his neutered fangs into my town.”
“Okay…” She popped her gum and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Well he isn’t the cause for all of it. He didn’t force you to sign with Wolfram and Hart.” Lindsey narrowed his eyes at her, trying to study her and get what the hell she was trying to say. “You had out.”
He snorted at her words. “It’s not that simple blondie, you’re never really rid of this place, it seeps into your skin and stays there.”
“But you got out,” she spoke slower this time. “It’s obvious that you despise Angel so why come back here when he’s running the one place you’re hiding from. Not very smart.”
A growl escaped his throat and he was growing tired of her company quickly, it annoyed him even more that he couldn’t just up and walk away. He was stuck like a rat in a cage for everyone’s amusement. “It wa-”
“You obviously came back searching for something,” she cut him off, looking at him curiously. “Then again men never see what they have when it’s in front of their face.”
“Excuse me?” Lindsey set his feet down on the floor and rested his elbows on his knees, his hands hanging loose as he eyed her.
Harmony got quiet for a moment before speaking, her eyes bravely never leaving his. “You had what you were looking for Lindsey.” Again she made him wait out her words. “Out, you had it. You had more than that actually. People search for a long time for what you had.” She snorted and shook her head at him like he was a sad puppy. “You hated Angel too much to see what you had.”
“I think you need to change your brand of bleach…”
“Lindsey, you were out. All that fancy ink kept you hidden and safe and the one thing people hunt for, want and all that other stuff found you. It might have had ties back to Wolfram and Hart but you were hidden.”
Lindsey was sure that Harmony was proof that more than just your heartbeat dies when you get turned. “Did you bring aspirin?”
She blinked at him. “Why do people keep asking me that? I am not a pharmacy.” The sight of her sighing heavily nearly made Lindsey laugh.
“What did I have Harmony?” His tone was acidic as he narrowed his eyes further. “Enlighten me.” It was obvious that she’d been around Angel and his crew far too long.
“Freedom and love.”
“Wrong. On both counts. Who’s gonna love a broken southern boy running from the big bad monsters?”
“Apparently Eve did. Does.”
Lindsey was smacked silent with her words. “Eve.”
“Yeah.” It was obvious to even Harmony that she struck a nerve. “That’s a power you know, love I mean. It’s strong and it grabs a hold of you before you can blink.” Her eyes moved away from him as her voice got lower, obviously talking about more than just him. “People don’t realize what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you back, who loves something - or someone - more than them. Its worse than a stake.”
“She doesn’t know ho-”
“Don’t even try to pull that shit on me. People say vampires can’t but newsflash cowboy, they can. They do. She does.” Harmony got up and gripped onto the bars of his cell, anger in her eyes. “She gave up everything for you, you didn’t see that. She’s human and if you give up and continue to go after Angel then she’s going to die for nothing. Mortal and alone.”
They sat there in silence and Lindsey stood and made his way to the bars, looking down at her and couldn’t help but be quietly amused that Harmony might actually be smarter than anyone ever gave her credit for. Well, maybe more insightful if anything. “Hey,” he muttered, reaching down to pull off his fleur-de-lis bracelet. He held it out through the bars for Harmony to take. “Give it to Eve and…”
“I’ll tell her you miss her too.” He nodded, realizing that he in fact did. She was the one that Harmony had meant before would wonder about him.
“I didn’t realize…”
“I know.” With that she turned on her heel and walked back up the stairs and out of his prison, leaving him to realize the things he hadn’t before and wonder if he would have the chance to prove to her that she didn’t give up everything for nothing.