ugh
its almost 10:30. ben should be getting off of work soon. i hope he gets home quickly. i dont want to be alone anymore. i am so tired. not thinking very well. my dr doubled my meds and i just started it last night. this morning i could barely get out of bed. ben had to help me into the shower. i just couldnt think. it was as if the whole world slowed down. i got better though. i am able to sit here and write this now. that would have been impossible this morning. i'm so tired. i want to go to bed. i dont think i'll be able to sleep, but i want to go to bed. my stomach hurts. this house smells. i'm so thirsty. i just want ben home. i want him to be with me, take care of me, ask me how i am and to bring me things and take care of me. i know he doesnt know how to do that. i had to tell him what to do this morning so he would help me with my shower. i just wish he knew how to do all of this already. i need him. i want him home. i'm so tired....