Love is Patient.....
i told myself i wouldnt get online......BUT I HAD TO UPDATE!!!!
i was listening to KSBJ's sunday night's discussion with Dr. Henry C_____? He wrote a book called "How to Find a Date Worth Keeping"
of course, knowing me, as a SINGLE, i sure did listen. he talked about how we have to go out there in life and not wait for God to bring that "one" at our door step. Yup-i know. I just gotta be myself, do things i love, and put myself out there!
I'm just so frustrated with myself. Kinda embarrasing to put say, but no, I never been in a relationship.....no boyfriend....no first kiss. THERE...you got it out me!
I find this quite sad most of the time:( I tell myself that i'm missing out so much in life. I see the happiest couples ever, cuddling, enjoying one another. I guess this was all part of my depression i hid. I absolutely hate thinking that i have to be in love with someone in order to be happy.
I want someone to be there for me. Yes at times i can be quite stubborn, but not to sound snobby but i think i'ma sweet person that deserves that one true love. Arent i a good person that helps others? I want to stay pure to my one love.....abtinence is a beautiful blessing, gift.
In CCE before spring break we talked about our biggest fear-
My biggest fear is obviously never falling in love, never finding the "one", never getting married and staying an "old maid". I DONT WANT THAT......PLEASE!!!! I want to spend the rest of my life with someone to grow old with!!! Mr. Coliandro told me if i keep this fear in mind it could effect me. I could end-up finding "love" in the wrong places, just to be with someone, then feeling unhappy. Thats true. Sometimes i feel as if I'm doing that now........it's a far longer story.
Sometimes i do feel like a hopeless 17-year-old that will never find relationship. I want to love someone. I need to love someone. Life is just so confusing. I had the biggest crush ever, and i know realize that it just cannot work out. But then again, there's been someone else always there for me. There's just another great fear.
When is my time going to come??? I listen to a woman on KSBJ that said "I prayed to God for 15 years for my husband". WoW...prayer. I dont want to be married now, i'm too young. I just want to love someone, to be in a blessful relationship.
At times, i think...THAT guy hurted me so, very badly (a few years ago). We talked for some time....but then i realize it all wasnt right. I still got hurt. Then i saw him a while back at a party with the sweetest girl ever. He was such a player, always talking to different girls, including me. Now, he's with the nicest girl for him. I know it's far bitter for me to say, i dont know how to say.....but look how he was.....now look who he's with.......dont I deserve someone to treat me good?????
I'm just praying to God that my day will some soon. Maybe i wont find that my "eternal love', but maybe the Lord will bring me someone in my life to bring me closer.
"Love is Patient" is what they say. Then Wow...i hope it hits me hard. I know it'll be worth it!
PLEASE.....commet away!