she goes to california; california's not so far.
the amount of time that a person has in this world has a limit. the amount of choices that a person can have thrown at them through out their period of time on this earth, has no limit.
friday, october 13th has slashed a meaning into my heart for the rest of my time that i'm delt to live...i lost my breath of fresh air in a smoke filled room, my spirit lifter, one of my closest friends, a guy (not one of my girlfriends) that i told everything to without fear of being judged...i lost you, jon.
jon, you were like no one i had ever met. your personality, your ambition, you passions, and your heart...you had dreams, you had a life filled with stories to tell. you lived by the moment, but your compashion for the ones you cared for always grew at a steady rate. yes, time has passed since then, but it is still hard to take in as reality. sometimes i'll find myself talking to you aloud, as if you were right next to me. there is not a day that goes by that you don't cross my mind. there is never a day that passes that i don't see or hear something that reminds me of the time that we had spent together. i will forever charish the memories that we had.
i get upset sometimes when i think about how i'll never be able to sing along to you playing your guitar. it breaks me heart to know that at one point we had planned to move out of our parent's houses together. i hate the fact that you can't crack a stupid joke when you can tell somethings bothering me. i miss listening to your past and learning how your mind worked. i feel like your life was a great novel with an off ending...
that night after i had heard the news, i laid in bed and cried. i thought of how hard of a time your family was going through. you know me, i don't really believe in god, but i did try that night to find something more than 'the norm' to help comfort everyone else that was going through the pain of losing you.
i love you, kid. thanks for always being there for me when i ran to you. thanks for teaching me things about life, other people, and myself that i wouldn't have been able to see if i had never met you. thank you for holding my hand when i wasn't confident in myself. thanks for trusting me enough to open up to me so that i could experiance what it was like to have a friend like you. thanks for saving my life that one night. thanks for calling me just to tell me something that was rediculous 'cause you knew i'd find humor in it like you. thanks for everything...one day we'll meet again, and i'll share with you all the things that i wish you had been there for, and i know you'll smile. until then, everyone who's life you have touched will keep your memories living on through our hearts.
i'm going to california in a week. i'll be staying there for a month. i'm excited, but a little scared. it's something new. it's something i've talked about wanting to do one day...i suppose the only reason i'd have any second thoughts about not going is because of my friends...i'll miss the fucking shit outta them.
look out cali, this east coast chic's name is rachel mother fucking ha. haha, have fun with that!
rachel<33