(no subject)
So, this was going to start off as being a metaphorical, philosophical, existentialist type of livejournal post, but now I just kinda feel like thats teenage drama.
Today I hired a team of ladies from Molly Maid to clean my house for my mothers birthday. I planned it all out, got my dad, brother and grandma all in on it and it worked like a charm. My mum is really happy, and my grandma actually cried. I feel like a good kid.
Also,
I feel like, at this very moment, I'm stuck in sort of a limbo. Like, I'm not sad, I'm not especially happy, and its not a bad thing. Happiness, true happiness, feels just slightly out of reach. Like, fate is taking a little vacation before anything happens.
I got a letter from Mac telling me I didnt meet the minimum requirements for admission. When I called the registrar, they said they never got the fax about me being in night school, and while they will make the proper corrections, it will remain a refusal until I send in my midterm mark in April and i guess they will 'reconsider'.
Thats when I made the post about the lack of back up plan in my mind. I have my heart so fully set on going to guelph that I honestly, dont know what I plan on doing if that doesnt go through.
My ex decided to call and tell me hes dating a new girl. Which, honestly, doesnt bother me. I'm happy for him. Im prettier then she is HAHAHA im a horrible person, i know. But im glad he's moved on. I know I have.
Kinda made me think more about the fact that I'm really not sure if I want a relationship right now. Part of me does. I mean, the older I get the more I'm thinking about marriage and babies, and eventually find that mr. right and settling down. But right now, to be honest, i dont give a crap.
I do, however, want someone to notice all the stuff I've been doing in my life recently. I want someone to look at me and say WOW. you look amazing. have you been working out? or gee, court, you really look toned and tanned. Or, maybe just tell me im gorgeous or beautiful or some sort of compliment/adjective that makes girls blush.
Happiness is a choice, and things have improved since I chose to be happy by myself, without the reaffirmation of my choices by others. And I dont need to be noticed because I know I look frigin good. I just kinda want someone else to notice, too.
I decided I dont kind of like him, cause, I dont think he kinda likes me, and I'm done chasing guys. If a guy really likes me, he will make the effort to continue communications with me and I shouldnt have to. So, we shall see whether I kind of like him or not.
there. a more lengthy update then I have lately been giving. any questions?
Today I hired a team of ladies from Molly Maid to clean my house for my mothers birthday. I planned it all out, got my dad, brother and grandma all in on it and it worked like a charm. My mum is really happy, and my grandma actually cried. I feel like a good kid.
Also,
I feel like, at this very moment, I'm stuck in sort of a limbo. Like, I'm not sad, I'm not especially happy, and its not a bad thing. Happiness, true happiness, feels just slightly out of reach. Like, fate is taking a little vacation before anything happens.
I got a letter from Mac telling me I didnt meet the minimum requirements for admission. When I called the registrar, they said they never got the fax about me being in night school, and while they will make the proper corrections, it will remain a refusal until I send in my midterm mark in April and i guess they will 'reconsider'.
Thats when I made the post about the lack of back up plan in my mind. I have my heart so fully set on going to guelph that I honestly, dont know what I plan on doing if that doesnt go through.
My ex decided to call and tell me hes dating a new girl. Which, honestly, doesnt bother me. I'm happy for him. Im prettier then she is HAHAHA im a horrible person, i know. But im glad he's moved on. I know I have.
Kinda made me think more about the fact that I'm really not sure if I want a relationship right now. Part of me does. I mean, the older I get the more I'm thinking about marriage and babies, and eventually find that mr. right and settling down. But right now, to be honest, i dont give a crap.
I do, however, want someone to notice all the stuff I've been doing in my life recently. I want someone to look at me and say WOW. you look amazing. have you been working out? or gee, court, you really look toned and tanned. Or, maybe just tell me im gorgeous or beautiful or some sort of compliment/adjective that makes girls blush.
Happiness is a choice, and things have improved since I chose to be happy by myself, without the reaffirmation of my choices by others. And I dont need to be noticed because I know I look frigin good. I just kinda want someone else to notice, too.
I decided I dont kind of like him, cause, I dont think he kinda likes me, and I'm done chasing guys. If a guy really likes me, he will make the effort to continue communications with me and I shouldnt have to. So, we shall see whether I kind of like him or not.
there. a more lengthy update then I have lately been giving. any questions?