Malcolm and his Kid
More lunacy sparked by the pet discussion. Which was more whacky than this, even. Too bad Google Docs Chat ate it. :X
Oliver crept into the Merlyn mansion living room and froze in the doorway. Malcolm was sitting on the couch, apparently too absorbed to notice the Vigilante that was sneaking up on him. And was that a... baby bottle???
"I know you don't like the taste," Malcolm was cajoling in a gentle voice, "but if you don't take your medicine, you'll be up all night crying again."
Oliver blinked. "Malcolm, do you have a kid!?!?"
Malcolm jumped up. "Uh..." He hastily put the bottle down. "I, well... yes! That's not so unusual. Lots of people do."
Oliver just stared. This went beyond anything the businessman or the Dark Archer had ever done; way, way off the rails. "Where did you...? How did you...? Why do you have a kid!? Do you even know how messed up that is?" Oliver would have to rescue the poor thing and return him to his family.
"Come on, Oliver. I admit, it's not your typical dog or cat, or even a parrot or a goldfish. But they're really quite endearing."
"A pet? Malcolm, you're treating this kid like a pet!?"
Merlyn huffed. "Well what do you want me to do, make sausages out of her?"
Oliver's jaw dropped to China, probably landing somewhere near Nanda Parbat. A baby-eating Dark Archer? "Okay, that's it!" He stormed forward, intending to scoop up the baby and get her away from this madman. "You do not deserve to have a--!" He glanced down at the fuzzy little creature on the couch. "Is that a goat??"
"Honestly, Oliver, what did you think we were talking about?"
===X===
Oliver crept into the Merlyn mansion living room and froze in the doorway. Malcolm was sitting on the couch, apparently too absorbed to notice the Vigilante that was sneaking up on him. And was that a... baby bottle???
"I know you don't like the taste," Malcolm was cajoling in a gentle voice, "but if you don't take your medicine, you'll be up all night crying again."
Oliver blinked. "Malcolm, do you have a kid!?!?"
Malcolm jumped up. "Uh..." He hastily put the bottle down. "I, well... yes! That's not so unusual. Lots of people do."
Oliver just stared. This went beyond anything the businessman or the Dark Archer had ever done; way, way off the rails. "Where did you...? How did you...? Why do you have a kid!? Do you even know how messed up that is?" Oliver would have to rescue the poor thing and return him to his family.
"Come on, Oliver. I admit, it's not your typical dog or cat, or even a parrot or a goldfish. But they're really quite endearing."
"A pet? Malcolm, you're treating this kid like a pet!?"
Merlyn huffed. "Well what do you want me to do, make sausages out of her?"
Oliver's jaw dropped to China, probably landing somewhere near Nanda Parbat. A baby-eating Dark Archer? "Okay, that's it!" He stormed forward, intending to scoop up the baby and get her away from this madman. "You do not deserve to have a--!" He glanced down at the fuzzy little creature on the couch. "Is that a goat??"
"Honestly, Oliver, what did you think we were talking about?"
===X===