(no subject)
i was in walton today for grandma's funeral. granted she's actually nate's grandmother but i loved her just the same. she was a wonderful woman, and i never heard her say anything negative in the time i spent with her. she was always positive. always looking on the bright side of things. i had never been to a funeral for someone who was a christian before. it was so apparent in her life how much god meant to her. and the verses that were read and the hymns that were sung fit her so well, it was obvious, at least to me, that they would be her favorites.
during the funeral i was thinking about how much she loved god and how evident it was in her life. i started thinking that if in some way during my life time i showed half the love for that she posessed for god with a quarter of the significance that He had in her life that i would indeed be a blessed woman.
and i kept thinking back to the conversation that bish and i had about being labeled a christian and how most of the time he and i dont like it because of it's negative connotations and stereotypes, how we think of ourselves as followers of god. there was definately no negative connotation to grandma being a christian. she was the most loving, accepting, god fearing (i'm sure there's a better attribute but i like that idiom) woman that i had ever met, and probably will ever meet. it amazed me how she could openly tell you how much she loved god and it wasn't pushy, it was just how it was. simple. the truth.
i kept waiting for the reality of her death to hit this week. and it didn't until we were at the cemetary. when the mclachlan's were putting the roses on her casket. i just broke down. the reality finally hit and all i could do was cry. i always had this idea in my head that she would be around forever in a sense. that every time i saw her either in walton or when she came to houghton, that it would definately not be the last time i saw her. that i would see her smile and hear her laugh again very soon. that she would give me another hug and make sure that i'm doing well.
now i have the idea in my head that grandma is in heaven, keeping mike c. company. that she has another grandchild to love and look after. and it doesnt even matter that she never met mike in this life. she was so amazing and had such a capacity to love, that if you met her once you had a place in her heart. she's definately got mike by now. i can understand why god wants grandma in heaven with him now, we all wanted her to stay on earth with us.
ryan died this week as well. he was wonderful too. such a sweetheart. i hate that drugs are what got him. he had so much he could have done for people in this would. he was going to get a job taking care of people with special needs. he loved that kind of work. he was made for it. it just really doesn't seem fair.
i wonder where ryan is and if i'll see him again someday. my hopes and prayers are that he is in heaven with mike and grandma. but the last time he and i talked about religion he described himself as either a pagen or a wican, i forget which. i just really hope that i see him again. and i hope that he is in heaven keeping those i love company until i get there. whenever that will be.
during the funeral i was thinking about how much she loved god and how evident it was in her life. i started thinking that if in some way during my life time i showed half the love for that she posessed for god with a quarter of the significance that He had in her life that i would indeed be a blessed woman.
and i kept thinking back to the conversation that bish and i had about being labeled a christian and how most of the time he and i dont like it because of it's negative connotations and stereotypes, how we think of ourselves as followers of god. there was definately no negative connotation to grandma being a christian. she was the most loving, accepting, god fearing (i'm sure there's a better attribute but i like that idiom) woman that i had ever met, and probably will ever meet. it amazed me how she could openly tell you how much she loved god and it wasn't pushy, it was just how it was. simple. the truth.
i kept waiting for the reality of her death to hit this week. and it didn't until we were at the cemetary. when the mclachlan's were putting the roses on her casket. i just broke down. the reality finally hit and all i could do was cry. i always had this idea in my head that she would be around forever in a sense. that every time i saw her either in walton or when she came to houghton, that it would definately not be the last time i saw her. that i would see her smile and hear her laugh again very soon. that she would give me another hug and make sure that i'm doing well.
now i have the idea in my head that grandma is in heaven, keeping mike c. company. that she has another grandchild to love and look after. and it doesnt even matter that she never met mike in this life. she was so amazing and had such a capacity to love, that if you met her once you had a place in her heart. she's definately got mike by now. i can understand why god wants grandma in heaven with him now, we all wanted her to stay on earth with us.
ryan died this week as well. he was wonderful too. such a sweetheart. i hate that drugs are what got him. he had so much he could have done for people in this would. he was going to get a job taking care of people with special needs. he loved that kind of work. he was made for it. it just really doesn't seem fair.
i wonder where ryan is and if i'll see him again someday. my hopes and prayers are that he is in heaven with mike and grandma. but the last time he and i talked about religion he described himself as either a pagen or a wican, i forget which. i just really hope that i see him again. and i hope that he is in heaven keeping those i love company until i get there. whenever that will be.