Meh
Updating once again. I haven't in a while, figured it was about damned time. Well, things have been interesting the past few weeks, to say the least. Ordered my dress, so it should be here in April some time. Then I have to go buy a corset and what not...And shoes. Bleh. Stupid shoes.
I should just wear my sneakers.
Patrick is moving back. Those of you who live around here know that. Well, I only think there are one or two people who read this who don't live around here. Any who, for those of you who don't know. Patrick is my ex boyfriend from last spring. He's coming back. I'm picking him up from the airport on Saturday.
I made my apologies to him about a month ago. perhaps longer than that. I was rude when we broke up and it hurt, but being enemies isn't going to do me a damned bit of good. So, I'm doing the right thing as a friend and giving him a ride to where he'll be staying.
I just wish I knew what the hell was going on in my head. So many thoughts racing about in there, I don't know which one to believe.
And of course it didn't help that today Tony posted a very sad poem on his blog. -.- Except now I don't know if it was based off of my relationship with him, or one from someone else. No names were mentioned. Gah, I wish I knew.
As much as it hurt to let him go, I still love him. I probably always will. I don't think you can ever stop loving someone...You just love them in a different way...But I would give almost anything to have him back.
Pathetic, i know.
Why does it hurt so much? *shakes head* I guess I'll get over it some day. But for now...For now it can hurt. Pain lets us know we're still truly alive.
And yet, in the same respect, I don't know if I want him back. I want to be wild and crazy and young, and even if he can give me those things, I want to actually DATE someone without living with them straight away. I want to get asked out to the movies, or to dinner. To go through all the awkward things that people go through when they start dating.
I want that! I want to be young and stupid with no strings attached.
I think that's all for now.
Love
Blood Joker
I should just wear my sneakers.
Patrick is moving back. Those of you who live around here know that. Well, I only think there are one or two people who read this who don't live around here. Any who, for those of you who don't know. Patrick is my ex boyfriend from last spring. He's coming back. I'm picking him up from the airport on Saturday.
I made my apologies to him about a month ago. perhaps longer than that. I was rude when we broke up and it hurt, but being enemies isn't going to do me a damned bit of good. So, I'm doing the right thing as a friend and giving him a ride to where he'll be staying.
I just wish I knew what the hell was going on in my head. So many thoughts racing about in there, I don't know which one to believe.
And of course it didn't help that today Tony posted a very sad poem on his blog. -.- Except now I don't know if it was based off of my relationship with him, or one from someone else. No names were mentioned. Gah, I wish I knew.
As much as it hurt to let him go, I still love him. I probably always will. I don't think you can ever stop loving someone...You just love them in a different way...But I would give almost anything to have him back.
Pathetic, i know.
Why does it hurt so much? *shakes head* I guess I'll get over it some day. But for now...For now it can hurt. Pain lets us know we're still truly alive.
And yet, in the same respect, I don't know if I want him back. I want to be wild and crazy and young, and even if he can give me those things, I want to actually DATE someone without living with them straight away. I want to get asked out to the movies, or to dinner. To go through all the awkward things that people go through when they start dating.
I want that! I want to be young and stupid with no strings attached.
I think that's all for now.
Love
Blood Joker