hmmm...
I have yet to write in my live journal for the longest time.
It may be that I consume myself with other indulgences rather than the simplicity of sitting down and taking time to express how I feel.
As somehow I seem to mask away the pain and anguish I have within myself.
Life for me has been a rollercoaster. Many things have happened to me and will continually happen till the day that I die. Sometimes I feel as if I am lost....and trying to find my way back to a place I can no longer call home. Sometimes the terror and pain haunt me inside. Other times....I pay no attention to these thoughts and feelings.
And when I pay no attention to these specific things---my body gets weak, my soul begins to deteriorate and I feel as if my purpose is gone.
There, however is always much love around me and friends to care for me during these times, in which I don't believe they fully can understand me....thus, I have come to the conclusion that I need time to be alone...by myself---with no outside distractions....and write....write about my day, about my feelings- and deal with them step by step.
I have also realized, that somehow I have drifted from a few people who are distant yet feel so close to me. So I would like to say Im sorry....and I will try to keep in touch with you!
On a better note, I have gotten a few tattoos in which represent a part of who I am.....my most recent one being today---I got a cancer ribbon on my foot with my mothers name....it's beautiful and I will always remember her strength and wisdom....she is now in remission...although they say her time left is maximum 5 years....this being something hard to grasp. I decided to put down in art what she means to me.
I also recently started my lower back piece, which takes up my lower back and butt area. to diving sparrows...one oevil and one good...in the middle a cross with roses on the bottom and blooming into the top. Then also stars to remember those in which have died in my life. I will always remember you William Frederick Broschk and Sarah Ann Forsmark....you are forever in my heart.
SO---to end on a good note.....I look forward to tommorrow. I have a double date wiht my best friend....which is ironic, because the guy im going out with is bringing his best friend...I hope mia likes bill....because Andy is a very sweet guy.
For now that is it I believe.....
.....Until the nest time
When one door closes another one opens...
...bringing a whole new chapter of chances and opportunities
Love,
Clare
XOXOXOXOXOX
It may be that I consume myself with other indulgences rather than the simplicity of sitting down and taking time to express how I feel.
As somehow I seem to mask away the pain and anguish I have within myself.
Life for me has been a rollercoaster. Many things have happened to me and will continually happen till the day that I die. Sometimes I feel as if I am lost....and trying to find my way back to a place I can no longer call home. Sometimes the terror and pain haunt me inside. Other times....I pay no attention to these thoughts and feelings.
And when I pay no attention to these specific things---my body gets weak, my soul begins to deteriorate and I feel as if my purpose is gone.
There, however is always much love around me and friends to care for me during these times, in which I don't believe they fully can understand me....thus, I have come to the conclusion that I need time to be alone...by myself---with no outside distractions....and write....write about my day, about my feelings- and deal with them step by step.
I have also realized, that somehow I have drifted from a few people who are distant yet feel so close to me. So I would like to say Im sorry....and I will try to keep in touch with you!
On a better note, I have gotten a few tattoos in which represent a part of who I am.....my most recent one being today---I got a cancer ribbon on my foot with my mothers name....it's beautiful and I will always remember her strength and wisdom....she is now in remission...although they say her time left is maximum 5 years....this being something hard to grasp. I decided to put down in art what she means to me.
I also recently started my lower back piece, which takes up my lower back and butt area. to diving sparrows...one oevil and one good...in the middle a cross with roses on the bottom and blooming into the top. Then also stars to remember those in which have died in my life. I will always remember you William Frederick Broschk and Sarah Ann Forsmark....you are forever in my heart.
SO---to end on a good note.....I look forward to tommorrow. I have a double date wiht my best friend....which is ironic, because the guy im going out with is bringing his best friend...I hope mia likes bill....because Andy is a very sweet guy.
For now that is it I believe.....
.....Until the nest time
When one door closes another one opens...
...bringing a whole new chapter of chances and opportunities
Love,
Clare
XOXOXOXOXOX