"There's always someone fucking hanging on"
So I was at Mike's on Thursday, and it was pretty awesome I have to say, even though I had to leave earlyish on Friday. And we met again on Monday and I slept there.
It's getting so much easier to talk to him! I was there alone for ages, and we couldn't do anything most of the time because there were kids in the house who could open the door at any minute [his door isn't lockable]. And also because half the time he didn't really feel like it. But anyway, I had fun even then. We cuddled a ton and talked about just stupid shit, but it's so fun to do that! I mean, we seriously lay in bed together at one point not even touching and just laughing about things for hours! It was so awesome, and I'm so happy it's getting even easier to talk to him... And at one point he forced me to say to him "you love me" - he totally can tell that I have a hard time accepting it, so it was really cute. And he told me I was beautiful a bunch of times. Oh oh oh! And he kissed me in this totally romantic way. I mean, yes, it's happened romantically before, but this time it was on purpose. He didn't feel like having sex anymore [guys get to a level where they're totally spent apparently... it's a fucking bummer.] and i asked if he at least wanted to kiss and he said ok, but that I should kiss him romantically. I said, ok, sure, but how? And then he did this totally awesome thing, closing my eyes and kissing them, and running his fingers really gently on my face and neck and slowly slowly kissing me. It ruled...
I have to talk about the most awesome thing, and even though I'm sort of shy about writing it even here, I'm going to anyway, because I have to record this. Ok, so at night, after we had sex, he said to me in this totally sexy way "next time can I rape you?" - he said also the last time we met while we were making out something like "jesus, i want to just rape you". It's his way of saying he wants me basically. When asked if he'd be the S or the M, he said he'd probably be the masochist [neither really, but if he HAD to choose]. Anyway, this raping thing surprised me sort of, because as I said before, he's the least pervy guy I know. But I've always been interested in this sort of stuff, so when he asked if he could, I said sure. It turned out he was also not very serious about it, but I asked him if he'd actually want to do it if I agreed. He said sure. The next time we slept together it didn't happen, but then yesterday night before I had to go, I asked him again if he really wanted to do it, and he asked how, and I said I'd just fight him. Now, we were both naked at this point already, so it wasn't like a whole thing. But still when he started to... you know, try to... [ick it sounds gross] go in, I was fighting him, like pushing him away from me, and pretending to not like it when he kissed my neck and stuff. And he fought back and sort of pinned me down. And it was sooo awesome. I mean, it wasn't scary in the least, since we weren't taking it very seriously at all, but it was just way cool to have someone dominate you like that.
I know I know, I'm sick, aren't I? Meh, I don't care - it's with my boyfriend whom I love immensly, and I feel comfortable doing this stuff.
Oh, another thing I need to write about - Mayu, Dan, Mike and me might be taking a little trip together! Wouldn't that be cool? I mean, we'd go rent these cabins up in the north for a couple nights. There'd be a jacuzzi and a bottle of wine, and it'd be soooo romantic, seriously...
It's getting so much easier to talk to him! I was there alone for ages, and we couldn't do anything most of the time because there were kids in the house who could open the door at any minute [his door isn't lockable]. And also because half the time he didn't really feel like it. But anyway, I had fun even then. We cuddled a ton and talked about just stupid shit, but it's so fun to do that! I mean, we seriously lay in bed together at one point not even touching and just laughing about things for hours! It was so awesome, and I'm so happy it's getting even easier to talk to him... And at one point he forced me to say to him "you love me" - he totally can tell that I have a hard time accepting it, so it was really cute. And he told me I was beautiful a bunch of times. Oh oh oh! And he kissed me in this totally romantic way. I mean, yes, it's happened romantically before, but this time it was on purpose. He didn't feel like having sex anymore [guys get to a level where they're totally spent apparently... it's a fucking bummer.] and i asked if he at least wanted to kiss and he said ok, but that I should kiss him romantically. I said, ok, sure, but how? And then he did this totally awesome thing, closing my eyes and kissing them, and running his fingers really gently on my face and neck and slowly slowly kissing me. It ruled...
I have to talk about the most awesome thing, and even though I'm sort of shy about writing it even here, I'm going to anyway, because I have to record this. Ok, so at night, after we had sex, he said to me in this totally sexy way "next time can I rape you?" - he said also the last time we met while we were making out something like "jesus, i want to just rape you". It's his way of saying he wants me basically. When asked if he'd be the S or the M, he said he'd probably be the masochist [neither really, but if he HAD to choose]. Anyway, this raping thing surprised me sort of, because as I said before, he's the least pervy guy I know. But I've always been interested in this sort of stuff, so when he asked if he could, I said sure. It turned out he was also not very serious about it, but I asked him if he'd actually want to do it if I agreed. He said sure. The next time we slept together it didn't happen, but then yesterday night before I had to go, I asked him again if he really wanted to do it, and he asked how, and I said I'd just fight him. Now, we were both naked at this point already, so it wasn't like a whole thing. But still when he started to... you know, try to... [ick it sounds gross] go in, I was fighting him, like pushing him away from me, and pretending to not like it when he kissed my neck and stuff. And he fought back and sort of pinned me down. And it was sooo awesome. I mean, it wasn't scary in the least, since we weren't taking it very seriously at all, but it was just way cool to have someone dominate you like that.
I know I know, I'm sick, aren't I? Meh, I don't care - it's with my boyfriend whom I love immensly, and I feel comfortable doing this stuff.
Oh, another thing I need to write about - Mayu, Dan, Mike and me might be taking a little trip together! Wouldn't that be cool? I mean, we'd go rent these cabins up in the north for a couple nights. There'd be a jacuzzi and a bottle of wine, and it'd be soooo romantic, seriously...